• 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 


OWV.  OF  CALIF.  LIBRARY.  LOS  ANGELES 


The  INVISIBLE 
BALANCE  SHEET 


BY 

KATRINA  TRASK 

AUTHOR  OP 
"IN  THE   VANGUARD,"  "KING  ALFRED'S  JEWEL,"  ETC. 


NEW  YORK:  JOHN  LANE  COMPANY 
LONDON:  JOHN  LANE,  THE  BODLEY  HEAD 
TORONTO:  S.  B.  GUNDY  :  MCMXVI 


COPYRIGHT,  1916, 
BY  JOHN  LANE  COMPANY 


Press  of 

J.  J.  Little  &  Ivee  Company 
New  York, U.S.  A. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE 
SHEET 

CHAPTER  I 

THE  miracle  had  happened — Spring  had  come! 
For  many  weeks  She  had  been  coquetting  with  the 
earth :  shy  and  virginal,  She  had  trailed  Her  deli- 
cate robe  of  green  across  the  meadow,  touched  the 
fruit-trees  until  they  blushed,  tempted  the  flowers 
from  the  grass,  and  then  had  run  swiftly  away 
and  hidden  from  sight,  leaving  a  chill  behind. 

Now,  in  a  night,  She  had  decided  to  coquette 
no  more — She  had  come  like  a  Queen  to  receive 
Her  investiture ;  She  had  put  on  Her  royal  robes 
and  Her  reign  was  established. 

There  was  beauty  everywhere.  Each  bare  patch 
of  brown  was  covered  at  last,  and  all  the  earth 
was  an  emerald  glow  where  blades  of  grass  stood 
up  proud  and  springing  with  vitality  and  fresh- 
ness that  proclaimed  the  story  of  Life's  renewal: 
golden  dandelions  and  purple  violets  starred  the 
bright  green  grass — a  regal  wealth  of  colour. 

Eben  Hankins  came  around  the  old  farm  house 
that  stood  upon  the  hill:  he  was  a  middle-aged 
man,  tall,  awkward  and  angular,  with  a  face  that 

7 


8      THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

looked  as  though  it  might  have  been  carved  out 
of  granite,  inexorable,  inflexible — until  he  smiled. 

Having  finished  a  long  day  of  planting,  he  had 
taken  off  his  overalls  and  brushed  his  thread-bare 
suit;  his  grim  face  shone  from  the  clear  cold 
water  he  had  doused  upon  it  at  the  pump :  his  grey 
hair  was  plastered  with  uncompromising  severity 
across  his  high  forehead. 

Eben  needed  no  wife  to  put  him  in  trim;  he 
often  said,  "  A  man  can  slick  up  a  deal  better  with- 
out no  woman  botherin'  'round:  he  gets  clean  in 
no  time  if  he's  let  alone,  but  a  woman  talks  so 
much  'bout  gettin'  clean  that  it  gives  a  man  a 
relish  to  be  dirty. ' ' 

He  began  pruning  some  rose  vines  that  climbed 
over  the  farm  house.  Suddenly  his  keen  eyes 
brightened  with  an  expression  of  homely  satisfac- 
tion. 

Coming  up  the  hill  was  a  young  man;  tall, 
sinewy  and  well-built,  his  bearing  seemed  to  give 
him  the  right  of  way;  he  gave  an  impression  of 
power.  His  large  blue-grey  eyes  were  well-set  and 
wide  apart,  brilliant  from  changing  lights:  an 
irresistible  fascination  was  in  his  face,  a  frank 
charm  in  his  personality:  there  were,  it  is  true, 
about  his  smiling  mouth  certain  conflicting  lines, 
suggesting  that  some  things  in  his  nature  were  at 
war  with  other  things  in  his  nature  and  that  the 
impulses  of  his  temperament  were  not  always 
based  upon  the  fundamentals  of  his  character :  one 
felt  that  he  might  be  swayed  by  one  course  to-day 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET  '  9 

and  by  another  course  to-morrow ;  but  it  might  be 
— one  could  not  tell — merely  the  undeveloped,  un- 
evolved  state  of  tempestuous  youth :  coupled  with 
this  suggestion,  there  was,  also,  a  danger-signal 
in  the  lips  which  indicated  a  sensuous  pleasure- 
loving  nature;  a  nature  given  to  passionate  im- 
pulses and  self-indulgences ;  these  were,  however, 
both  well-balanced  by  the  firm  chin  and  brow.  A 
student  of  physiognomy  would  have  felt  a  question 
as  to  his  future;  there  would  probably  be  fierce 
battles  to  fight,  there  would  come  surging  inroads 
and  perilous  waves  that  would  threaten  to  over- 
throw the  structure :  the  eyes  had  a  clear,  steadfast 
gaze  that  suggested  the  Ideal — the  imperishable 
dream; — but  those  lines  about  the  mouth  be- 
tokened a  hint  of  selfishness — and  selfishness  is 
the  arch  enemy  of  the  Ideal,  the  perilous  foe  to  the 
realisation  of  the  dream.  There  was  something 
so  attractive  about  him  that  the  most  casual  ob- 
server, interested  in  evolution,  could  not  refrain 
from  hoping  that  the  prophecy  of  the  eyes  would 
conquer  the  suggestion  of  the  mouth. 

This  young  man,  John  Remington  Wright,  was 
the  owner  of  the  farm. 

"Hello,  Eben!  How  go  things?"  Deep,  musi- 
cal, attractive,  rang  the  dominating  voice. 

Eben  began  a  catalogue  of  casualties:  John 
stopped  him  with  a  peremptory  motion  of  his 
hand. 

"Thunder!    I  don't  mean  in  detail.    What  dif- 


10    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

ference  does  it  make  if  the  calf  is  dead! — it  has 
escaped  the  butcher's  knife!" 

' '  What  deef erence,  Meester  John  ?  There 's  just 
the  deef  erence  of  seven  dollars  an'  fifty  cents." 

"0  Eben,  stop  working:  I  want  to  talk  to  you." 

John  was  carrying  a  bundle  of  books,  strapped 
together;  with  accurate  aim  he  flung  them  into  a 
chair  upon  the  piazza,  and,  turning  suddenly,  faced 
Eben  with  a  look  of  determination. 

"Eben,  could  you  run  this  farm  alone!" 

Eben  looked  stolid: 

"Wai,  seein'  as  I've  done  it  'most  alone  for  nigh 
on  to  ten  years,  I  think  I  might  do  it  a  spell  longer 
— on  a  pinch." 

"That's  not  fair,  Eben — I'm  sure  I've  helped 
you,  but  I  am  tired  of  the  whole  beastly  business." 
John  tossed  his  head  impetuously. 

"That's  nothin'  new:  you  generally  do  screw 
'round  here  as  if  you  was  in  a  trap. — Say,  Meester 
John,  you  spend  too  much  time  on  them  books :  a 
man  can't  mix  books  and  farmin' — they  don't  go 
together,  no  mor'n  fodder  and  fruit." 

' '  Bight  you  are,  Eben,  and  I  should  never  have 
tried  to  mix  them  if  it  hadn't  been  for  Father— 
and  the  debt,  and — and 

"An*  Mees  Marion,"  Eben  ended  conclusively. 

"Who  said  anything  about  Miss  Marion?"  John 
spoke  sharply. 

"The  things  you  say  out  loud,  Meester  John, 
ain't  the  things  you  say  the  plainest." 

John  smiled  good-humouredly. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    11 

"Well  then,  Eben,  I  will  admit  Miss  Marion  has 
been  a  compensation  in  this  confounded  hole,  but 
I've  hung  on  far  too  long.  I  couldn't  leave  while 
Father  lived ;  he  had  made  such  colossal  sacrifices 
to  send  me  to  College."  Eben  gave  an  emphatic 
grunt  of  assent.  "I  felt  it  was  my  duty  to  stay 
beside  him  in  his  helplessness ;  and  afterwards — 
there  was  the  debt!  When  he  died  last  year  I 
ought  to  have  gone  then,  at  once — debt  or  no  debt 
— for  I  am  sure  I  could  have  made  more  in  New 
York  than  I  saved  by  staying  here :  but  I  stayed 
on  and  on  expecting  every  week  to  go — I  fell  be- 
tween hay  and  grass :  I  haven 't  made  a  success  of 
the  farm — you  needn't  grin,  Eben,  I  know  I 
haven't !  I  constantly  expected  to  go  to  New  York 
so  I  didn't  really  take  hold  of  the  work  effec- 
tively." 

"Wai,  you  kep'  busy — but  bein'  busy  ain't 
work. ' ' 

"Going  after  that  confounded  plough  is  work, 
all  right,  and  I  stuck  to  it  this  spring  until  the 
ploughing  was  done." 

"Yes,"  said  Eben  with  grim  justice,  "you  did 
pretty  good — an'  you  saved  gettin'  another  hired 
man,  but  now 

"Now,"  interrupted  John,  "the  ploughing  is 
all  done " 

"Now,"  sententiously  commented  Eben,  "the 
work's  all  to  be  done." 

"That's  the  infernal  bother  with  farming — 
you  work  and  work — only  to  get  ready  to  work!" 


12    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"I  guess  it's  pretty  much  so  'bout  any  kind  of 
work,"  said  Eben. 

With  an  airy  wave  of  his  hand  in  refutation  of 
this  unpleasant  dogma  John  said, 

" Farming  isn't  in  my  line:  I  detest  it!  Yet 
here  I  am  in  Elmcrof t  still. ' ' 

"An'  there  is  them  books,  another  pile  of  'em," 
said  Eben  grimly,  pointing  a  horny  accusing  finger 
to  the  chair  on  the  piazza. 

1 1  Eben,  you  deserve  a  thrashing !  Your  animos- 
ity to  my  books  is  abominable ! — they  are  my  life : 
if  you  thought  I  was  going  to  sacrifice  my  life 
because  I  postponed  my  career  you  were  mightily 
mistaken.  I  ought  to  have  gone  to  New  York 
the  moment  Father  died,  as  I  said :  I  could  have 
made  enough  in  Wall  Street  to  pay  off  what  is 
left  of  the  mortgage." 

Eben  gave  a  gruff  grunt :  he  had  his  own  opin- 
ions of  Wall  Street ;  they  were  not  flattering. 

"Yes,"  John  said  reflectively:  he  was  speaking 
to  himself,  he  had  forgotten  Eben:  "I  should  have 
gone  a  year  ago — it's  a  case  of  the  'unlit  lamp 
and  the  ungirt  loin ! '  " 

Eben  broke  into  his  reflection  with  a  sharp 
question : 

"The  what?" 

1 '  Never  heard  of  Browning,  have  you  f ' ' 

"Yes,  I  know  him — he  keeps  the  feed  store  over 
in  Glenwood." 

"Not  that  one!  The  Browning  I  mean  doesn't 
keep  a  feed  store,  but — he  feeds  my  soul ! ' ' 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    13 

"You  don't  say!"  Eben  looked  sceptical. 

"He  has  given  me  my  resolution,"  John  con- 
tinued; "I  will  light  my  lamp  and  gird  my  loin." 

"Now,  you  just  take  my  advice,  Meester  John, 
don't  use  none  of  them  new  lamps  that's  adver- 
tised: if  you  want  a  light  to  go  by,  take  a  safety 
lantern.  An'  as  for  girdin'  the  thighs,  don't  you 
pay  no  attention  to  them  advertisements  neither : 
they're  no  good — Josiah  got  a  belt  an*  it  made 
him  worse — an'  cost  a  pile  of  money,  besides." 

John  threw  back  his  head  and  laughed.  "Well 
then,  Eben,  in  plain  English,  I'm  going  to  New 
York  next  week,  thank  the  Lord!  I'm  going  to 
work  hard — and  win  money  and  fame." 

"Money  ain't  so  easy  to  win  an*  fame's  no 
good;  fame's  only  folkses  talkin' — if  you'd  leave 
them  books  'lone  an'  work  here  more — more 
things 'd  be  growin' — it's  better  to  make  things 
grow  than  'tis  to  make  folks  talk." 

"All  right,  Eben.  I'll  leave  you  to  make 
things  grow — whilst  I  make  'folks  talk'  in  New 
York.  It  won't  take  very  much  more  now  to  fin- 
ish our  debt — and  if  I  could  get  a  good  chance  to 
sell  the  place " 

John  was  interrupted  by  a  sound  from  Eben. 
It  was  not  a  cry — it  was  not  a  spoken  word — it 
was  like  the  snort  of  an  old  steam-engine. 

"Sell  this  place — where  yer  Pa  lived — an'  yer 
Grandpa  lived  afore  him— an'  his  Pa  lived  afore 
him? — See  them  blue  flowers  over  there? — or 
that's  to  say  they  will  be  blue  when  they  open  up 


14    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

— yer  Ma  planted  them  flowers  with  her  own 
hands! — sell  this  place — sell  this  place ' 

* '  0  hush,  Eben !  You  sound  like  an  old  repeater, 
or  an  alarm  clock!  I  won't  sell  it  if  you  don't 
approve,  but  I've  heard  you  say  for  twenty  years 
that  the  ground  wasn't  fit,  that  it  was  nothing  but 
a  sand-bank." 

Eben  drew  himself  up  with  stiff  pride. 

"It's  one  thing  to  say  yer  say  'bout  a  thing, 
an'  it's  another  thing  to  sell  it.  A  man '11  say 
his  say  'bout  his  wife — but  he  won't  sell  her.  I 
don't  think  much  of  this  soil — that's  a  fact — 
never  did,  but  it's  the  soil  that's  here,  an'  'cause 
I  talk  'bout  it  that  ain't  to  say  I'd  part  with  it." 

"We  must  sell  it,  or  do  something" :  John  spoke 
impatiently,  impetuously:  "Don't  you  know  I 
am  a  poor,  poverty-stricken,  penniless  pauper?" 

Eben  smiled  the  grimest  of  smiles: 

"You  didn't  think  I  thought  you  was  rich,  did 
you?" 

John's  face  lighted  with  its  characteristic  flash 
of  charm :  he  went  up  to  Eben  and  took  his  horny 
hand: 

"The  farm  and  I  would  have  gone  under  long 
ago  if  it  hadn't  been  for  you,  Eben:  you're  a 
trump ! ' ' 

"I  ain't  nothin'  but  what  yer  Pa  an'  yer  Ma 
learnt  me.  I  was  twenty  years  old  when  I  first 
come  to  yer  Pa,  but  I  was  as  green  as  a  unbroke 
field." 

"Oh,  I  say,  Eben,  it's  rotten  to  be  poor!" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    15 

"Wai,  I  don't  know,  I've  seen  lots  of  rich  folks 
an'  I  don't  know  as  I'd  change  places  with  none 
of  'em.  I'm  not  sayin'  that  it  ain't  mighty  handy 
to  be  rich  but  I  wouldn't  be  them!" 

"Why  not?" 

"They  don't  seem  easy  nohow — they  al'ays  look 
like  they  had  their  money  on  their  mind,  as  though 
they  was  worrit  for  fear  they'd  lose  it — now  I 
ain't  got  nothin'  to  lose,  so  I  ain't  never  worrit." 

"The  man  who  looks  worried  when  he  has 
money  is  a  fool,"  said  John,  "but  it's  not  the 
money  I  want — I  want  the  things  that  money 
buys. ' ' 

"What  kind  of  things?" 

"Beautiful  things — artistic  things — wonderful 
things ! ' '  John  spoke  with  a  passionate  intensity. 

"Wai,  ain't  you  got  'em — look  at  that  there  blue 
sky  an'  them  purple  hills  an'  them  trees!  You 
couldn't  buy  'em  nohow  no  matter  how  much 
money  you  had — an'  yet  the  Lord  God  Almighty's 
spread  'em  all  out  for  you  an'  me  an'  everybody 
to  see — free." 

"Unless  one  happens  to  be  blind,"  snapped 
John. 

"Wai,  if  y're  blind  y've  got  the  feel  of  the 
South  wind  blowin'  on  yer  face  with  the  smell 
of  the  flowers — the  feel  of  the  North  wind  blowin' 
on  yer  face  with  the  smell  of  the  pines — an'  the 
feel  of  the  West  wind  blowin'  on  yer  face 
with " 

"0  give  us  a  rest!    I'm  dead  sick  of  nothing 


16    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

but  wind  and  sky  and  hills  and  smells."  John 
looked  at  the  sun  and  gave  a  sudden  start. 
"I  must  go!  I  have  an  engagement." 
John  dashed  up  the  steps  and  into  the  house: 
Eben  stood  a  moment  looking  after  him:  there 
was  a  relaxation  about  the  corners  of  his  grim 
mouth  which  John,  and  John  alone,  could  bring; 
and  as  he  saw  the  buoyant  figure  enter  the  low 
doorway  of  the  old  farm  house,  he  shook  his  head 
gravely  and  said,  "He'd  be  a  very  sensible  lad— 
if  he  had  a  leetle  sense." 


CHAPTER  II 

THE  great  apple  orchard  of  the  Parsonage  was 
in  full  bloom.  The  white  blossoms  touched  with 
pink  were  rosy  in  the  deepening  glow ;  the  arching 
sky  was  flushed  with  the  glory  of  sunset :  it  was  a 
marvel  of  loveliness;  every  tree  stood  robed  like 
a  bride  for  her  bridal,  trembling  and  blushing 
with  beauty  and  with  desire.  The  song-birds,  in 
an  ecstasy  of  love,  flew  in  and  out  of  the  blossom- 
ing boughs,  carolling  their  madrigals  of  love,  of 
home,  of  prophecy.  All  was  still  except  for  the 
song  of  the  birds.  Suddenly  the  air  was  thrilled 
with  the  sound  of  the  fresh,  clear,  heart-searching 
voice  of  a  girl — singing: 

"The  laughing  rills,  from  the  ice-free  hills, 
Come  murmuring  over  the  lea : 
They  ripple  and  flow  where  violets  grow 
And  hasten  away  to  the  sea. 

The  happy  birds  sing,  as  skyward  on  wing 
They  mount  from  the  blossoming  tree : 
The  glad  world  is  gay  with  wonder-white  May, 
It  is  May  for  my  Love  and  for  me." 

John  stood  waiting  beneath  a  blossoming  apple 
tree,  listening  to  the  musical  voice  as  it  drew 
nearer.  Beyond  the  ancient  orchard  was  the  path 

17 


18    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

that  led  to  the  Parsonage:  there  old  Dr.  Mere- 
dith held  sway  over  the  minds  and  the  hearts 
of  the  inhabitants  of  Elmcroft,  and  his  daughter 
Marion  shared  his  sovereignty.  The  path  that 
led  to  the  Parsonage  was  hidden  by  a  copse  of 
small  trees,  which  concealed  the  coming  of  Mar- 
ion ;  but  John  saw  her  before  she  came — he  could 
divine  the  light  in  her  eyes,  the  beautiful  colour 
swiftly  rising  and  slowly  ebbing  in  her  cheeks, 
the  shimmer  of  sunshine  in  her  hair — and  his  heart 
made  haste  to  meet  her  before  she  turned  at  the 
bend  of  the  road. 

The  poet  tells  us  that  * '  In  the  Spring,  a  young 
man's  fancy  lightly  turns  to  thoughts  of  love," 
but  it  was  not  "light  fancy"  alone  that  Spring 
stirred  in  John  Eemington  Wright :  since  his  pina- 
fore days  in  the  little  schoolhouse  by  the  brook, 
Marion  had  moved  John  to  serious  thought  rather 
than  to  "light  fancy";  he  had  pondered  and  stud- 
ied her,  and  things  relating  to  her,  from  his  earli- 
est childhood  in  most  earnest  fashion.  She  was  al- 
ways a  psychological  problem  to  him :  even  to  his 
childish  mind  it  had  been  a  profound  speculation 
as  to  how  a  creature  who  was  so  white,  pink  and 
golden,  who  wore  soft  dresses  that  didn't  crackle 
as  his  duck  trousers  crackled,  who  spoke  with  a 
voice  that  always  "made  you  feel  all  queer  in- 
side," could  possibly  climb  the  highest  trees  and 
run  as  fast  as  any  of  the  boys — and  much  faster 
than  Willy  Bristo:  how  she,  being  a  girl,  could 
hold  such  extraordinary  and  obstinate  opinions 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    19 

about  many  things :  how  she  could  withstand  him 
to  his  face — when  he  was  quite  right  in  his  opin- 
ion— when  he  kneiv  he  was  quite  right. 

Again,  when  he  went  to  the  Parsonage  for  his 
lessons  with  her  father,  who  had  prepared  him 
for  College,  he  had  found  that  the  toughest  prob- 
lem he  had  to  solve  was  how  Marion  Meredith 
could  do  so  many  things  at  once.  He  sat  in  the 
old  minister's  study  and  there  was  no  apparent 
interruption,  but  all  the  while  he  was  declining 
Latin  nouns  he  was  conscious  of  Marion,  here, 
there,  everywhere,  giving  dainty  touches  in  the 
house,  working  in  the  garden,  in  the  parlour  and 
even  in  the  kitchen — singing  all  the  while.  He 
spoke  glibly  concerning  the  sides  of  a  triangle, 
but  he  could  not,  for  the  life  of  him,  make  out  how 
any  one  creature  could  have  as  many  sides  as 
Marion.  When  he  sat  beside  the  good  Doctor  in 
apparent  concentration  upon  his  work,  he  was  fol- 
lowing the  light  free  step  and  gay  carolling  of 
Marion. 

And  there  was  no  scientific  proposition  more 
absorbing  than  to  discover  the  alchemy  by  which 
Marion  made  the  stern  old  face  of  the  Parson 
soften  into  smiles  of  tenderness. 

But  it  was  not  until  after  he  had  come  home 
from  Harvard  that  the  problem  took  on  a  per- 
sonal colouring  and  formed  itself  into  the  deeper 
question  as  to  how — if  a  man  wanted  to,  he  was 
not  at  all  sure  he  wanted  to,  but  if  he  did  want  to 
—he  could  ask  anything  so  delicate,  fragrant  and 


20    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

lovely  to  share  a  poor  man's  lot.  Of  course,  he 
did  not  intend  to  be  poor :  he  intended  to  go  to  the 
city  and  make  for  himself  a  world-wide  reputation 
as  a  great  financier,  and  after  that  to  take  his 
place  in  the  world  of  national  affairs — perhaps 
the  world  of  international  affairs. 

But  it  would  be  many  years  before  he  could  at- 
tain his  goal  and' those  years  would  be  years  of 
drudgery  and  self-denial;  a  few  dollars  a  week 
and  a  room  in  some  squalid  boarding-house:  he 
could  not  ask  this  fastidious  girl  to  share  that: 
he  must  wait  until  he  had  won  his  way,  and  by 
that  time  he  would  know  his  own  mind. 

There  was  no  doubt  as  to  his  success :  he  surely 
would  succeed  in  the  end! — for  what  else  had  he 
studied,  travelled  and  worked,  accepting  the  sacri- 
fices of  his  father? 

His  father  had  thought  that  Harvard  and  a 
student's  life  were  fantastic  nonsense,  to  keep  a 
man  from  his  rightful  place  as  tiller  of  the  soil; 
it  had  been  said  by  the  Book  of  books  that  "In 
the  sweat  of  his  face  man  shall  eat  bread,"  and 
this  new-fangled  experiment  of  getting  out  of  the 
common  lot  found  no  approval  in  the  stern  and 
sturdy  farmer:  but  even  as  he  had  been  uncom- 
promising in  his  theories  of  life,  so  old  Peter 
Wright  had  been  uncompromising  in  the  keeping 
of  his  word — whatever  it  might  cost !  And  when 
Mary,  his  beloved  wife,  lay  dying  and  turned  on 
him  those  mournful  eyes,  a  softening  of  the  heart 
had  made  him  solemnly  promise  her  that  John 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    21 

should  have  the  equipment  that  her  forebears  had 
considered  necessary  for  man. 

To  Peter  Wright  a  promise  was  a  promise; 
therefore,  he  had  sent  John  to  College :  and  though 
the  crops  had  failed  the  next  year,  and  his  own 
health  had  failed  the  year  after,  John  went 
through  the  four  years  at  Harvard,  and  had  spent 
his  vacations  in  travel,  at  the  command  of  his 
father,  without  knowing  the  extent  of  the  sacri- 
fices that  were  paying  for  this  culture.  When  he 
came  home  and  found  his  father  a  helpless  par- 
alytic, he  understood :  an  enthusiastic  admiration 
for  the  Spartan  grit  of  the  old  farmer  and  an 
inherent  sense  of  loyalty  to  the  obligation  which 
he  felt  laid  upon  him  made  him  quickly  resign 
his  plan  of  going  at  once  to  the  city:  he  took  his 
place  by  his  father's  side:  there  he  had  stayed 
for  two  years  struggling  to  master  the  common 
mystery  of  the  ground.  Eben  Hankins  confessed 
to  his  God  that  John  tried  his  soul  mightily — be- 
cause he  did  more  harm  than  good  to  the  farm: 
he  applied  theoretical  experiments  from  books  to 
conditions  which  had  existed  before  printing  was 
invented — he  tried  high-falutin  modern  methods 
to  old  problems  which  existed  when  Abraham  and 
Lot  divided  the  land. 

During  those  weary  days  of  work  and  denial 
two  things  had  brought  a  glory  to  John's  life:  the 
wide  culture  from  the  books  he  devoured  through 
the  winter  evenings — drawing  them  from  the  State 
Library;  and  Marion,  always  Marion — with  her 


22    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

song  and  her  laughter,  the  sunshine  in  her  hair, 
the"  moonlight  on  her  forehead  and  the  stars  in 
her  eyes :  her  beauty  delighted  his  latent  artistic 
sense,  inherited  from  his  maternal  ancestors ;  and 
her  quick  intuitive  wisdom  stimulated  his  evolving 
mind. 

When  his  father  died  a  year  ago,  John  had  still 
stayed  on,  expecting,  planning  each  week  to  make 
the  move  and  "to  begin  life,"  as  he  put  it  to  him- 
self :  but  many  things  kept  him  from  going :  nom- 
inally it  was  the  mortgage  and  the  debt :  he  told 
Eben  constantly  and  he  asserted  to  himself — too 
emphatically  perhaps — that  he  wanted  to  clean 
things  up  financially  before  he  went  and  to  start 
on  a  fresh  basis:  also,  that  he  could  not  bear  to 
leave  Eben  alone  to  carry  the  brunt  of  the  debt 
that  had  been  incurred  for  him :  but  beside  these 
motives — in  which  he  was  sincere,  if  self -deceived 
— there  were  unformulated  reasons  that  kept  him 
from  going.  He  dreaded  the  drudgery  and  grind 
that  must  precede  success.  He  knew  that  he  must 
begin  with  a  mere  weekly  pittance :  whilst  he  was 
learning  the  great  financial  law  and  system,  he 
must  live  in  poverty.  It  was  bad  enough  to  be 
poor  in  the  Country,  that  meant  hardship — but 
to  be  poor  in  the  City,  he  told  himself,  meant 
squalor — and  he  hated  squalor:  moreover  he  was 
deep  in  a  course  of  special  reading  which  he  was 
enjoying  immensely  and  wanted  to  finish  and  then 
— to  be  honest — he  dreaded  the  thought  of  losing 
the  comradeship  with  Marion.  Together  they  read 


and  delighted  in  intellectual  speculation,  together 
they  enjoyed  Nature,  together  they  studied  and 
discussed  new  thought,  together  they  dreamed  old 
dreams. 

Did  he  love  her?  Yes — no — yes — no — some- 
times he  was  sure  he  loved  her — sometimes  he 
doubted  it. 

When  he  thought  he  loved  her  the  bliss  of  her 
companionship  and  the  joy  of  his  thought  of  her 
were  marred  by  the  shadow  of  the  consciousness 
that  he  must  not  be  such  a  selfish  cad  as  to  ask 
her  to  share  so  humble  a  lot  as  his  own:  her  lot 
was  simple  now — but,  compared  with  what  he  had 
to  offer  at  present,  it  was  luxurious :  the  old-fash- 
ioned, spacious  Parsonage  made  a  fitting  back- 
ground for  her:  Dr.  Meredith's  salary  and  ample 
life-annuity  were  sufficient  to  provide  father  and 
daughter  with  every  comfort  and  much  luxury: 
Marion  was  cared-for  and  care-free:  there  was 
nothing  to  burden  her  nor  to  press  upon  her.  She 
was  clever  of  hand  as  well  as  clever  of  brain; 
therefore,  her  dressing  was  uniquely  exquisite: 
she  had  money  enough  to  buy  beautiful  stuffs  and 
with  her  designs  and  co-operation  most  artistic 
gowns  were  evolved  by  local  talent :  in  her  dainty 
garments  she  had  the  fine  air  of  a  princess.  When 
sometimes  John  felt  a  prescience  of  his  future  and 
his  fame,  and  felt  within  himself  the  right  to  claim 
her — then  he  ruthlessly  questioned  the  thing  that 
he  called  his  love.  What  did  he  know  of  love? 
What  did  he  know  of  women?  What  women  had 


24    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

he  seen?  Was  Marion  delicious  because  she  was 
Marion — or  was  she  delicious  because  she  was 
Woman? 

Before  he  decided  that  question  he  wanted  to 
see  the  women  who  lived  on  the  other  side  of  the 
hills  that  shut  in  Elmcroft — and  him. 

This  weighing  and  considering  the  exact  state 
of  his  own  heart,  whilst  the  heart  of  the  girl  is 
tossed  like  a  foot-ball,  back  and  forth,  is  not  heroic 
— but  it  is,  too  often,  the  way  of  men — the  lot  of 
girls. 

John  was  given  to  volatile  and  impetuous 
changes  of  mood:  he  was  no  model,  no  hero; 
he  was  composed  of  good  and  evil,  of  tem- 
pestuous strength  and  pliant  yielding,  of  stead- 
fastness and  impatience,  of  generosity  and  selfish- 
ness, of  impulsive  self-forgetfulness  and  of  ego- 
tism. He  had  moments  of  high-mindedness,  when 
he  knew  his  worst  and  aimed  for  the  ideal  which 
is  the  real:  and  he  had  moments  of  falling  from 
his  own  high  estate,  compelled  by  powerful 
temptation:  in  supreme  moments  he  had  a  quick 
vision  of  what  life  might  be  and  in  sensuous  mo- 
ments he  took  life  as  it  presented  itself. 

As  he  watched  the  coming  of  Marion  to  the 
orchard,  the  spring  making  riot  in  his  blood  and 
his  whole  soul  vibrating  to  the  music  of  her  voice, 
he  was  conscious  of  something  rising  within  him 
to  demand  her :  he  wanted  to  be  near  her,  to  touch 
her.  He  knew  Marion,  however,  knew  her  maid- 
enly reserve,  her  exquisite  dignity — so  different 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    25 

from  the  Elmcroft  girls — he  knew  that  she  would 
not  grant  him  even  her  hand  to  caress  until  he 
had  lowered  his  lance  before  her  and  asked  her 
for  her  colours — and  would  she,  then? 

She  turned  the  bend  of  the  road  and  stood  sing- 
ing, a  moment,  framed  in  the  fresh  green  of  the 
trees :  her  soft  garments  were  blown  by  the  wind, 
her  head  was  held  high,  she  looked  like  a  figure 
of  Victory. 

As  John  went  to  meet  her,  and  she  held  out  her 
hand  in  cordial  greeting,  he  found  it  difficult  to 
curb  the  impulse  rising  within  him :  he  wanted  to 
do  impossible  things,  to  say  unutterable  words, 
but  he  lifted  his  hat  and  said  simply: 

"I  did  not  walk  to  the  Parsonage  to  meet  you 
because  I  wished  to  keep  our  tryst  in  the  orchard. 
Yes!  it  is  May,  Marion,  'it  is  May  for — you  and 
for  me ! '  " 

The  pink  deepened  in  her  cheeks.  She  seated 
herself  beneath  a  wide-spreading  apple  tree — John 
threw  himself  upon  the  ground  beside  her,  his 
aesthetic  sense  noting  how  harmonious  and  beau- 
tiful a  background  the  low  blossoming  branches 
made  for  her  loveliness.  He  took  off  his  hat 
and  threw  it  from  him. 

11  Marion,  I  ought  to  go  to  New  York — and  be- 
gin," he  said. 

"Yes,"  she  answered,  "I  know  you  should:  I 
have  felt  it  for  some  time.  How  exciting  it  will  be 
for  you — but " 

"But  what,  Marion?" 


26    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Oh,"  and  she  gave  a  little  dramatic  sigh  of 
mirthful  protest,  '  *  it  was  only  the  old  argument ! 
I  wish  you  were  going  to  a  professional  life — I 
should  like  to  see  you  a  lawyer  or  a  man  of  letters 
— you  have  such  splendid  brains,  John." 

"Thank  you,"  he  said,  "but  my  brains — such  as 
they  are — will  have  full  play :  a  professional  life, 
with  all  its  glory,  is  a  circumscribed  career  com- 
pared with  the  life  I  intend  to  have.  Of  course 
first  I  must  earn  freedom  and  independence :  the 
mere  making  of  money — to  which  you  always  ob- 
ject so  strenuously — is  only  a  part  of  my  plan. 
There  is  nothing  to  prevent  my  being  a  man  of 
letters — if  I  really  have  the  ability — after  I  have 
made  money  enough  and  am  free :  but  first  I  want 
money,  I  must  have  money,  as  the  means  to  the 
end." 

"What  if  the  means  should  hide  the  end?"  she 
spoke  dubiously. 

"My  means  won't  hide  the  end,  for  the  end  is 
before  me  in  the  beginning.  Of  course  I  shall  have 
to  begin  with  absorbed  and  absorbing  grind:  I 
shall  have  to  be  a  mere  money-making  machine  at 
the  start " 

"I  know;  and  money-making  machine  men  are 
such " 

"Such  fools,"  interrupted  John,  thinking  of 
Billy  Waller.  "But  I  hope  to  Heaven  you  don't 
expect  me  to  be  like  that — like  any  of  those  idiots 
who  loaf  here  in  the  summer  time?" 

"Of  course  you  couldn't  be,  John,"  she  said  in 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    27 

conciliating  tones;  "but  I  so  fear  you  will  forget 
your  larger  ambition — that  you  will  become  im- 
mersed in  business." 

' '  The  life  of  a  great  financier  is  bigger  than  you 
think,  Marion:  that,  in  itself,  is  creative  work! 
Business  in  its  larger  sense  is  really  a  profession : 
it  appeals  to  the  artistic — the  constructive — the 
virile  qualities  in  a  man.  To  battle  with  great 
forces,  to  study  and  solve  great  problems,  to  build 
great  railroads  and  to  open  up  new  countries,  to 
weave  great  shuttles  of  commerce  on  the  sea — 
Oh,  it  is  fine!" 

Marion  looked  at  him  with  glowing  eyes. 

"I  know,"  she  said,  breathing  fast,  "and 
then? " 

"Then  to  be  a  factor — a  power  in  the  world 
and  to  use  that  power — perhaps  to  make  history ! 
— meanwhile,  to  prepare  for  it,  to  have  money 
enough  to  be  at  liberty  to  follow  the  great  motive 
— art,  literature — whatever  it  may  be." 

Marion  flushed  with  pride  in  him :  straightway 
she  yielded  her  opinions,  founded  on  the  traditions 
of  her  life,  and — John  had  repeatedly  told  her — 
on  the  narrowness  of  her  provincial  outlook:  she 
gladly  spread  her  wings  to  follow  his  flight.  There 
was  something  in  Marion 's  unexpected  frank  criti- 
cal comments  and  analytical  questions  which  al- 
ways provoked  argument  and  a  degree  of  irrita- 
tion in  John,  but  there  was  something  in  her 
sympathetic  response  to  his  flights,  and  something 
in  the  depths  of  her  eyes  as  she  listened  to  him, 


28    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

that  always  went  to  his  head  like  wine  and  to  his 
heart  like  music. 

John,  looking  at  her  now,  told  himself  that  she 
was  adorable.  Suddenly  a  temptation  flamed 
within  him  to  throw  everything  to  the  winds — all 
the  large  future  for  the  delicious  present,  all  his 
dreamed-of  career  for  the  bliss  of  the  Now :  a  mad 
desire  for  the  immediate  possession  of  Marion 
overswept  him.  Why  should  he  not  woo  her,  win 
her  and  marry  her  at  once — to-day — take  her  home 
to  the  farm  upon  the  hill — and  content  himself 
with  being  a  farmer,  after  all!  Farming  would 
not  be  such  a  beastly  lot  with  Marion  beside  him, 
as  his  bride!  Of  course  if  he  went  to  the  city, 
marriage  would  be  out  of  the  question,  for  two 
years  at  least,  for  he  must  begin  at  the  very  be- 
ginning with  a  green  clerk's  pittance: — here,  at 
least,  he  had  a  house  to  offer  her — even  if  it  be 
but  a  farm  house — the  ugly  hateful  farm  house 
he  had  always  loathed !  If  he  went  he  must  wait 
for  two  years  at  least. — And  there  was  young 
Waller  coming  when  the  hotel  opened !  Perhaps 
he  would  lose  her  for  ever !  He  wanted  her  now— 
he  must  have  her  now!  The  temptation  over- 
swept  him  to  yield  to  the  ecstatic,  compelling  cur- 
rents of  the  Spring. 

Since  childhood  he  had  dreamed  of  ultimate 
success,  great  wealth  and  high  place:  his  father 
had  shaken  his  head,  saying:  "  John,  my  boy,  you 
can  get  nothing  in  this  world  unless  you  work  for 
it — and  work  hard."  His  mother  had  said  with 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    29 

her  winsome  smile,  "You  will  conquer,  John.  I 
see  you  in  a  larger  world  than  Elmcrof t :  you  be- 
long there."  To  his  father  he  had  answered, 
"Why,  Father,  I  love  work!"  "No,"  his  father 
had  replied,  "you  love  exciting  work,  but  you  do 
not  like  grinding  work,  and  that  is  the  only  kind 
of  work  which  counts.  A  man  must  sweat  at 
the  plough  before  he  can  sow  seeds  in  the  fur- 
rows. * ' 

His  mother  had  sighed — ' '  I  do  not  know  how  it 
will  be :  you  have  two  elements  in  your  nature,  my 
son ;  I  do  not  know  which  will  conquer — but  I  see 
you  in  a  larger  place  than  Elmcrof  t. ' ' 

And  the  years  had  passed  and  still  he  was  in 
Elmcroft!  And  now  on  the  very  threshold  of 
resolution  Ije  fell  back  from  the  fatal  fault  in  his 
character,  which  his  mother  had  foretold,  the  char- 
acteristic temptation  to  take  the  moment  at  the 
peril  of  the  future. 

As  the  fire  was  igniting  in  John's  veins,  Marion 
looked  over  the  orchard  and  stretched  out  her 
arms  as  if  to  embrace  that  flowering  world. 

"What  ravishment!"  she  cried:  then  she  said 
merrily,  *  *  Oh,  I  wish  I  were  Swinburne 's  lady  and 
had  'my  house  beneath  these  apple  boughs'  and 
that  'my  bondwomen'  were '  all  kinds  of  flowers. '  : 

"Would  you  be  willing  to  live — in — in — an  apple 
orchard,  we  will  say — without  luxury,  without 
even  comfort,  Marion?" 

With  a  sweep  of  her  hand,  Marion  included  the 
wide  orchard — 


30    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Where  could  one  find  a  more  enchanting 
house !  The  roof  is  a  vast  dome  of  blue,  the  walls 
are  gothic  arches  of  living  white  and  the  most 
costly  carpet  could  not  be  more  beautiful  than 
this  fresh  grass  with  its  wonderful  flowers!" 

John  surveyed  her — a  glowing  tribute  in  his 
face. 

"Marion,  you  belong  in  a  king's  palace — there  is 
not  the  slightest  doubt  of  it."  He  hesitated  a 
moment,  then  added  conclusively,  "Any  man 
would  be  a  brute  to  ask  you  to  forgo  your  des- 
tiny." 

Marion's  lip  curled  bewitchingly : 

"A  king's  palace!"  She  turned  and  picking  a 
flower  from  the  grass  held  it  up:  "  'And  yet  I 
say  unto  you  that  Solomon  in  all  his  glory  was  not 
arrayed  like  one  of  these.'  : 

John  spoke  impatiently. 

"You  are  a  minister's  daughter,  and  it  comes 
easy  to  you  to  quote  Scripture  texts :  but  we  don't 
live  in  the  New  Testament — we  are  not  the  flowers 
of  the  field;  we  must  be  fed  and  clothed  and  live 
in  properly  heated  houses." 

"John,  how  dreadfully  material  you  are!" 
There  was  a  playful  scorn  in  her  tone  but  hot 
thoughts  were  surging  underneath :  for  a  moment 
she  sat  with  veiled  eyes  then  she  added  in  a  low 
voice  which  trembled  a  trifle : 

1 '  One  would  rather  be  food-hungry  than  heart- 
hungry." 

To  John  darted  a  remembrance  of  his  word  to 


Eben  about  his  soul  being  fed :  Marion 's  thought 
had  met  his  thought,  as  so  often  happened  in  so 
many  ways !  How  strange  it  always  seemed — and 
yet  not  strange,  only  natural — and  thrilling ! 

"Don't  tempt  a  man  beyond  his  strength, 
Marion. ' ' 

' '  Tempt  a  man  1 ' '  She  smiled  her  radiant  smile : 
"I  was  merely  arguing  a  very  interesting  ques- 
tion. We  always  argue,  you  and  I." 

"It  was  only  argument,  then?"  John  said 
crisply. 

"Don't  be  cross,  John." 

"I  am  not  cross,  but  I  thought  you  meant " 

"I  did  mean,  it  is  my  creed,  it  is  a  vital  prin- 
ciple with  me,  you  know,  that  things  do  not  mat- 
ter." 

"Things  do  not  matter?" 

' '  I  mean  that  some  things  do  not  matter  so  much 
as  some  things!" 

They  both  laughed  the  light  free  laugh  of  youth 
when  love  is  in  the  air. 

"A  very  wise  sentence,  fair  Portia." 

"Wouldn't  Father  be  scandalised  at  my  logic 
and  my  English!  But — but — you  know  what  I 
mean,  John." 

All  the  orchard  was  still — even  the  birds  had 
ceased  their  song.  John  leaned  eagerly,  beseech- 
ingly, forward.  Marion  took  a  quick  resolve, 
born  of  her  trust :  she  lifted  her  eyes  and  let  John 
read  them — within  their  depths  lay  all  the  fair 
shining  of  her  soul — the  secret  of  her  virgin 


32    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

heart:  it  was  but  for  a  moment,  and  the  long 
lashes  veiled  again  her  eyes  and  her  secret.  John 
was  altogether  on  fire — his  last  barrier  of  re- 
serve broke  down: 

" Marion" — passion  surged  within  John's  voice 
— "  Marion " 

A  harsh  cry  broke  the  spell ;  it  jarred  discord- 
antly : 

"Meester  John — Meester  John!"  and  Eben 
Hankins  came  from  the  copse  at  the  edge  of  the 
orchard  and  stood  before  them. 

John's  annoyance  flashed:  "What  do  you 
want!"  he  snapped  at  Eben. 

"I  want  you." 

John  spoke  with  impatience :  * '  Don 't  interrupt 
me.  I'm  engaged." 

"You  don't  tell." 

John  flushed  angrily:   "I  am  occupied." 

Eben  stood  his  ground:  "You  oughter  come," 
he  said  doggedly. 

"Go!"  John  commanded  sternly. 

"What  shall  I  tell  the  gentleman?"  Eben  asked 
bluntly. 

"Tell  him  to  go  to  the  devil!" 

Marion  raised  her  hand  in  protest  against 
John's  wrath: 

"John,  would  you  not  better  find  out  what  Eben 
wants?  It  may  be  important.  How  do  you  do, 
Eben!" 

Eben  bowed  with  awkward  respect :  there  were 
few  persons  in  the  world  who  commanded  Eben 's 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    33 

profound  respect  as  this  slight  girl  did.  With 
anger  in  his  tone,  John  hurled  the  question : 

"What  do  you  want,  confound  you?" 

Eben,  nothing  daunted  by  an  impatience  he  was 
well  accustomed  to,  answered: 

1 '  What 's  the  sense  o '  conf  oundin '  me  ?  It  won 't 
do  no  good  to  no  one." 

1  i  Tell  me  what  you  want :  waste  no  words. ' ' 

"I  never  do  waste,  Meester  John:  yer  Pa  al- 
ways said  to  me  when  I  was  a  young  'un — 'Eben,' 
said  he, '  it  was  waste  made  the  prodigal  son, '  said 
he,  'waste  an'  women,'  said  he.  Now  I  ain't  got 
no  use  for  women  neither,  never  had. ' ' 

John's  tone  took  on  the  tense  quality  that  could 
silence  men — even  Eben. 

' '  What  is  your  message  I ' ' 

"I  was  tidyin'  up  'round  the  house,  fixin'  the 
rose  vine  by  the  door,  the  rose  vine  that  yer  Ma 
planted,  when  up  swishes  Hotchkiss'  very  best 
au-to-mo-beele — the  one  he  keeps  for  the  summer 
folks,  an'  out  gets  an  old  gentleman  that  looks 
like  he  owned  the  earth.  He  had  a  gold  watch  the 
like  of  which  I  never  see " 

"What  did  he  want?" 

"He  wanted  you,  to  be  sure.  He  wanted  you 
right  away  on  business  of  importance — very  great 
importance,  he  said." 

"He  can't  have  me!  Go  back  at  once  and  get 
rid  of  him." 

Eben's  eyes  rounded  in  protest.     "You 


34    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

go !  You  can't  afford  not  to  go.  He  means  money. 
You  can  see  it  in  his  shoes. ' ' 

Marion  laughed  her  lovely  silvery  laugh.  "0 
Eben,  how  can  a  man  mean  money  in  his  shoes ! ' ' 

"I  can  al'ays  tell  by  a  man's  shoes,  Mees 
Marion.  When  they  are  made  of  that  shiny  stuff 
that  you  can  see  yerself  in,  like  black  lookin'- 
glass,  an'  when  they  are  bulgy  at  the  toes  an* 
don't  kink  in,  then  it  means  money." 

' '  Eben,  you  are  delicious ! ' ' 

"So  are  you,  Mees.    I  al'ays  said  you  was." 

Marion's  lovely  laughter  had  mollified  John. 

' '  Tell  your  old  gentleman  friend  I  cannot  come, 
Eben.  I  will  see  him  to-morrow. ' ' 

Eben  still  lingered  protestingly. 

"He  said  he  must  take  the  midnight  train  back 
to  New  York  an'  says  he,  'My  good  man,'  says  he, 
'you  must  search  the  town  for  Meester  Wright. 
It's  to  his  advantage,'  says  he." 

Marion  laid  a  light  hand  upon  John's  arm. 

"John,  it  may  be  something  really  important. 
You  would  better  go." 

"But,  Marion " 

The  warm  colour  rushed  over  Marion's  cheeks, 
brow  and  neck. 

"Marion,  do  you  wish  me  to  go?"  John's  voice 
said  many  things. 

"No — and  yes.  The  no  is  selfish:  the  yes  is  the 
larger,  truer  wish." 

"All  right:  run  on,  Eben.  Tell  your  friend  I'll 
be  there  in  a  few  minutes.  Make  the  old  gentle- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    35 

man  comfortable — and — Eben,"  he  called  after 
him,  "mind  your  manners.  You  have  everything 
but  manners. ' ' 

"So  you  al'ays  say,  Meester  John,  but  no  one 
man  can  have  every  thin' — tain't  in  nature." 

John  turned  to  Marion.  Should  he  say  the 
words  that  had  been  silenced  on  his  lips? — No, 
never  in  the  jangling  jar  of  Eben's  atmosphere, 
which  lingered  after  he  was  gone.  The  moment 
had  been  broken ;  they  must  weave  the  spell  again 
before  the  supreme  question  could  be  asked — such 
words  as  he  had  thought  to  say  must  have  their 
fitting  background  of  remembrance  for  all  time 
— they  must  be  said  in  leisure,  in  the  isolation  of 
a  seclusion  cut  off  from  all  the  world — from  pre- 
suming farm-hands,  and  from  old  gentlemen  with 
shiny  shoes. 

"Bother  Eben!"  John's  tone  had  changed. 
"Will  you  meet  me  in  the  orchard  after  the  old 
duffer  has  gone  ?  I  have  something  very  important 
to  say  to  you. ' ' 

Again  the  colour  rushed  to  Marion's  face.  She 
hesitated  a  moment,  the  warm  tide  of  feeling  and 
desire  surging  through  her  frame — then  in  her 
heart  she  heard  the  echo  of  a  great  word,  a  strong 
and  mighty  word — HELPMATE.  In  that  word  was 
gathered  all  the  memory  of  the  mission  of  woman 
in  the  long  annals  of  her  sacrifice,  her  mercy,  her 
heroism.  With  sweet  and  gracious  dignity  she 
said,  "Not  to-night,  John.  Eben  said  the  man 


36    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

is  to  stay  until  the  last  train — I  have  a  strong  in- 
tuition that  this  is  a  matter  of  importance." 

"You  have?"  John's  manner  was  brisk  and 
eager. 

"Yes — and  you  must  keep  the  evening  entirely 
free,  to  be  with  him  until  the  last  moment,  if  it  is 
important. ' ' 

John  felt  her  graciousness  in  sharing  his  inter- 
ests and  was  very  grateful ;  but  the  May  spell  was 
broken,  the  rapture,  like  a  gossamer  thread,  had 
been  snapped;  the  moment  had  become  a  chilled 
thing — as  chill  as  grey  twilight  after  the  sun  has 
set — as  unvibrant  as  the  moment  of  reaction  after 
wondrous  music  has  suddenly  been  broken  off 
with  a  loud  crash.  A  creature  of  versatile  and 
quickly  changing  moods,  John  was  already  fast 
speeding  along  new  avenues  of  thought. 

"What  can  any  man  from  New  York  have  to  do 
with  me?" 

Marion  was  quick  to  note  the  change  in  John: 
and  felt  a  sharp  pang  but,  womanlike,  she  adapted 
herself  to  the  demand  of  the  hour :  what  mattered 
a  momentary  preoccupation — she  had  seen,  she 
knew !  Ah !  she  had  looked  into  his  eyes — nothing 
mattered ! 

"It  may  be  about  some  property  near  here- 
one  of  the  summer  crowd  who  wants  a  clever  man 
on  the  ground — but,  whatever  it  is,  I  want  you  to 
be  free  to  give  him  your  time  to-night  until  he 
goes.  I  will  meet  you" — the  colour  that  flamed 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    37 

her  cheeks  acted  once  more  like  fire  in  John's 
veins — "I  will  meet  you  here — at  sunrise." 

He  mastered  himself,  and  took  her  hand  lightly. 

"Thank  you,  my  Lady  of  Grace.  It  won't  be 
the  first  time  that  we  have  been  together  at  sun- 
rise, will  it?  Do  you  remember  when  we  used  to 
come  out  to  find  the  fairies  at  dawn  ? ' ' 

* '  And  do  you  remember, ' '  she  said  with  tender 
memory,  "how  you  always  scoffed  at  me  for  be- 
lieving that  we  should  find  them!" 

A  sudden  depression  fell  upon  her — a  prescient 
pathos : 

"I  am  sorry  that  I  am  grown  up,  John." 

*  "Are  you  grown  up,  Marion !  You  still  have  the 
heart  of  a  child. ' ' 

'  *  But  the  soul  of  a  woman, ' '  she  said :  and  once 
more  John  saw  her  revealing  eyes. 

"Good  night,  my  Lady.  Good-bye  until  the 
dawn. ' ' 


CHAPTER   III 

WHEN  John  entered  the  farm  house  he  found 
awaiting  him  a  stern-looking  man  whom  he  at  once 
recognised  as  a  man  of  importance  and  of  power : 
he  was  tall,  thin,  angular,  white-haired,  clean- 
shaven, dressed  with  exquisite  precision  and  neat- 
ness, and  as  free  from  dust  as  though  he  had 
stepped  out  of  a  steriliser. 

"Is  this  Mr.  John  Eemington  Wright?"  he  said 
in  formal  tones  as  John  entered. 

John,  with  his  natural  grace,  bowed  ceremoni- 
ously : 

"I  am  John  Eemington  Wright.  May  I  ask  to 
whom  I  owe  the  honour  of  this  visit!" 

"I  am  William  Grimes  of  the  New  York  Law 
Firm  of  Grimes  and  Marvin. ' '  The  stranger  said 
this  as  though  the  statement  settled  his  pre- 
eminence. 

"In  what  way  may  I  be  of  service  to  you,  Mr. 
Grimes?" 

If  Mr.  Grimes  could  have  indulged  in  anything 
so  flippant  as  humour,  he  would  have  been  amused 
at  the  audacity  of  this  youth  with  his  free  air  of 
assumption;  as  if  he,  so  bucolic  and  so  young, 
could  serve  the  Honourable  William  Grimes  of 
the  great  Law  Firm  of  Grimes  and  Marvin! 

38 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    39 

"Mr.  Wright,  your  mother  had  an  uncle,  John 
Eemington,  for  whom  you  were  named."  Mr. 
Grimes  spoke  in  measured  tones.  John  swore  in- 
audibly:  had  he  been  called  from  that  delicious 
hour  to  discuss  uncles? 

"Yes,"  he  said  aloud,  "he  occasionally  came  to 
see  my  mother  before  her  death — seventeen  years 
ago :  I  have  not  seen  him  since. ' ' 

"He  was  my  client  and  my  friend,"  continued 
Mr.  Grimes.  ' '  Your  mother  was  an  exception  to 
his  habitual  thought  of  women :  he  had  an  affection 
for  her — she  was  the  daughter  of  his  only  sister. ' ' 

John  gave  a  slight  shrug  of  his  shoulders : 

1  i  Strange  way  he  had  of  showing  it. '  ' 

A  sterner  stiffness  fell  upon  Mr.  Grimes. 

"It  is  difficult,  Mr.  Wright,  for  the  very  young 
to  understand  the  minds  of  the  old:  your  father 
was  not  a  favourite  with  your  great  uncle,  Mr. 
John  Eemington!" 

"I  should  think  not!  I  have  not  seen  my  uncle 
since  my  mother  died:  I  was  only  ten  years  old 
then:  he  is  very  shadowy  and  dim  to  me." 

'  *  He  remembered  you,  and  always  spoke  of  you 
with  zest." 

' '  Indeed ! ' '  John  felt  his  curiosity  stirred :  but 
Mr.  Grimes '  next  words  seemed  to  end  all  specula- 
tion. 

"He  is  dead!" 

John  summoned  what  he  felt  to  be  the  proper 
solemnity  of  manner: 

"I  did  not  know  it,  Sir;  my  uncle  did  not  do  me 


40    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

the  honour  to  keep  in  sufficient  touch  with  me  for 
me  to  be  aware  of  his  movements — even  this  last 
supreme  one." 

Mr.  Grimes  went  on  as  though  there  had  been 
no  interruption  to  his  recital. 

"Some  of  Mr.  Remington's  favourite  stories 
were  about  you,  of  the  things  that  you  said  to  him 
when,  as  a  little  chap,  you  went  fishing  with  him. 
Do  you  remember  going  fishing  with  him  I ' ' 

"  Dimly. " 

"Do  you  recall  the  gospel  of  wealth  which  you 
then  held?" 

"Heavens!— No." 

' '  He  said  you  were  very  fond  of  money,  and  that 
one  day  when  you  were  only  six  years  old,  you 
shook  your  yellow  curls  and  said,  'Uncle,  money's 
the  most  'portant  thing  in  the  world.  When  I'm 
a  man  I'm  going  to  fish  for  money  'stead  of  fish 
— and  I'll  catch  it  too;  I'll  let  out  the  line,  then 
I'll  play  with  it  a  bit  and  then  I'll  haul  it  in,  all 
silver  and  gold,  and  dollars  and  dollars.'  I've 
heard  him  tell  that  story  scores  of  times,  roar- 
ing with  laughter  at  the  little  'blue-eyed,  yellow- 
haired  mercenary,'  as  he  called  you." 

John's  lip  curled : 

"He  must  have  had  a  keen  sense  of  humour." 

John  was  conscious  of  a  penetrating  glance  from 
the  sharp  eyes  of  the  lawyer,  through  his  gold- 
rimmed  eye  glasses. 

"He  had  a  keen  sense  of  the  fitness  of  things, 
Mr.  Wright,  which  is  vastly  more  important!" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    41 

John  had  evidently  made  a  break — but  what  of 
it?  What  did  he  care  for  this  man's  thought  of 
him,  and  yet  he  found  himself  saying  in  self- 
defence,  "I  suppose  it  never  occurred  to  him  to 
ask  what  was  the  motive  which  bred  in  me  that 
mercenary  spirit." 

"There  is  generally  a  motive  for  everything — 
even  in  a  child's  mind." 

John's  dignity  matched  that  of  Mr.  Grimes. 

"My  mother  was  my  motive,  Sir;  she  was  ill, 
and  she  needed  much  care  and  many  comforts, 
which,  even  as  a  baby,  I  longed  to  give  her ;  child 
as  I  was,  I  realised  that  money  was  necessary  as 
a  proper  caretaker." 

"I  think  your  great  uncle  assumed  something 
of  that  kind  whereby  to  balance  such  an  extra- 
ordinary state  of  mind  in  a  child,  because — with 
his  strict  sense  of  justice,  even  to  a  child — he  al- 
ways added  the  further  tale  of  his  gift  to  you  of 
a  gold  piece,  soon  afterwards:  he  said  you  kept 
feeling  of  it  and  turning  it  around ;  finally  he  asked 
you  what  you  intended  to  do  with  it,  to  which  you 
instantly  and  emphatically  responded,  'Why,  I'll 
give  it  to  Mother. '  He  teased  you  by  urging  you 
to  spend  it,  but  you  were  obdurate,  stamped  your 
little  foot,  protesting  that  you  would  give  it  to 
your  mother.  This  pleased  your  great  uncle.  ' ' 

"Of  course,"  said  John,  "that  was  the  only 
reason  I  wanted  money. '  ' 

Mr.  Grimes  coughed  a  dry  little  cough : 


42    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Mr.  "Wright,  your  mother  has  gone:  has  your 
desire  for  money  gone  also?" 

"To  be  honest — no,  it  has  not."  John  laughed 
spontaneously. 

"May  I  presume  to  ask  if  you  have  caught  it, 
as  you  predicted  you  would?" 

"No — it  is  harder  to  catch  than  trout  in  winter. 
Poverty  is  still  my  portion — Poverty  with  a 
big  P." 

"Ah!   Now  we  are  coming  to  the  point!" 

"The  point,  Sir?"  John's  curiosity  was 
aroused. 

The  lawyer  took  off  his  glasses,  took  from  his 
pocket  a  very  fine  linen  handkerchief  embroidered 
with  his  initials,  and  leisurely  polished  the  glasses 
with  elaborate  care ;  he  began  to  speak  deliberately 
as  though  he  were  summing  up  a  case  in  court. 

"Your  great  uncle,  Mr.  John  Remington,  was 
what  might  be  called  rich,  Mr.  Wright ;  his  estate 
is  estimated  at  about  seventy  million  dollars." 

John  gave  a  low  quick  expletive. 

"That  strikes  you  as  large?" 

"Rather!" 

"In  his  last  will  and  testament,  after  certain 
bequests,  he  has  left  his  residuary  estate — half  of 
it  outright  and  the  income  for  life  of  the  other 
half — which  is  to  be  held  in  trust,  to — to — let  me 
see — what  are  the  exact  words  of  the  document  ? ' ' 

The  lawyer  took  from  his  pocket  a  long  legal 
document,  untied  it  carefully,  unfolded  it  with  an 
aggravating  slowness,  turned  over  page  after  page 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    43 

and  finally  found  the  place  he  was  looking  for,  and 
read — 

"To  John  Eemington  Wright,  the  son  of  my 
niece,  Mary  Eemington  Wright  (daughter  of  my 
respected  sister,  Mary  Remington  Atkinson),  who 
did  me  the  honour  to  give  her  son  my  name. ' ' 

There  was  something  almost  appalling  in  the 
awe-struck  sound  of  the  two  syllables  which  came 
from  John's  parted  lips.  Mr.  Grimes  continued  in 
business-like  tones — 

"After  certain  bequests  to  friends  and  em- 
ployees, the  residuary  estate  amounts  to  about 
sixty  million  dollars!" 

Again  the  two  syllables  were  breathed  into  the 
air — this  time  with  more  emphasis — 

"To  ME?" 

"To  you,  Mr.  Wright." 

"But  he  did  not  know  me ! — he  never  deigned  to 
be  aware  of  my  existence  after  my  mother  died.  ' ' 

"True;  as  has  been  said,  he  disliked  your  father 
extremely. ' ' 

"I  must  say,  it  was  awfully  good  of  him  to  leave 
it  to  me." 

John  was  conscious  of  the  utter  banality  of  this 
fatuous  remark  but  he  was,  as  he  confessed  to  him- 
self afterwards,  distinctly  rattled — one  does  not 
inherit  sixty  millions  every  day. 

"I  do  not  think  Mr.  Eemington  was  at  all  con- 
cerned with  altruism  in  the  matter. ' '  Mr.  Grimes ' 
voice  had  the  effect  of  a  cold  blast  on  John's  ex- 
citement. ' '  It  was  purely  a  matter  of  family 


sideration.  In  fact — I  am  here  to  give  you  the 
entire  truth,  Mr.  Wright — Mr.  Remington  ever  de- 
plored the  fact  that  you,  an  altogether  unknown 
quantity,  were  the  only  available  legatee  of  direct 
descent :  but  he  was  desirous  that  the  estate  should 
be  kept  for  the  present  generation,  at  least,  in  the 
hands  of  a  Remington:  your  great  uncle  had  a 
strong  sense  of  family  pride." 

"But  I  am  a  Wright!"  John  spoke  loyally  and 
proudly,  a  sudden  picture  of  his  poor  paralysed 
father  flashing  upon  him. 

"Your  name  is  John  Remington — the  Wright  is 
a  mere  incident." 

John  curbed  his  hot  impulse  to  reply.  Mr. 
Grimes  continued: 

"Your  great  uncle  knew  enough  of  human  na- 
ture to  conclude  that  the  inheritance  would  make 
you,  to  all  intents  and  purposes,  a  Remington: 
and  for  that  reason  he  hoped  that  you  would  ac- 
cept the  bequest. ' ' 

"Accept  the  bequest?" 

Mr.  Grimes  again  coughed  his  dry  irritating 
cough : 

"There  are  conditions  upon  which  the  gift  is 
dependent.  In  case  you  do  not  comply  with  the 
conditions  the  residuary  estate  goes  to  another." 

John  scarcely  breathed.  What  were  conditions? 
In  the  twinkling  of  an  eye  the  whole  earth  had 
changed  beneath  his  feet — minor  details  were  of 
no  account. 

Again,  Mr.  Grimes  turned  to  the  document: 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    45 

"I  will  read  to  you,  Mr.  Wright,  the  precise 
wording  of  the  conditions."  Then  in  his  most 
colourless  tone  he  read:  "  'The  said  devise  and 
bequest  to  my  said  grand  nephew,  John  Reming- 
ton Wright,  are  upon  the  following  express  con- 
ditions, however,  upon  the  faithful  performance 
and  observance  of  each  of  which,  only,  it  is  my 
will  and  desire  that  my  said  grand  nephew  shall 
possess  and  enjoy  that  portion  of  my  said  resid- 
uary estate  hereby  bestowed  upon  him.  First, 
that  the  said  John  Remington  Wright  shall  not 
marry.'  ; 

Mr.  Grimes  looked  at  John  through  his  gold- 
rimmed  glasses  as  though  he  were  watching  the 
effect  of  a  chemical  upon  a  live  animal. 

"That  I  shall  not  marry!"  John's  tone  matched 
his  face. 

Mr.  Grimes  repeated  the  words: 

* '  *  That  the  said  John  Remington  Wright  shall 
not  marry.' 

John  made  a  gesture  of  impatience : 

"He  had  no  right  to  make  such  a  condition." 

Mr.  Grimes  drew  up  his  slender  figure  until  it 
was  positively  austere:  his  voice  was  as  cutting 
and  as  colourless  as  a  bleak  March  wind : 

"As  your  great  uncle,  Mr.  John  Remington,  was 
giving  his  own,  he  assumed  the  right  to  give  it  in 
his  own  way:  a  custom  not  unusual  with  testa- 
tors." 

John  met  Mr.  Grimes'  severe  eyes  with  a  chal- 
lenge : 


46    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Who  denies  that  right?  I  don't.  I  am  a 
Wright — no  Wright  wants  the  money  of  a  Rem- 
ington! I  was  thinking  of  the  subject  in  a  purely 
impersonal  way.  Such  a  condition  is  void  because 
it  is  contrary  to  public  policy :  it  has  been  so  held. 
If  my  uncle  did  not  know  this  the  counsel  who 
drew  his  will  should  have  advised  him  of  it." 

John's  self-confidence  over-topped  his  natural 
modesty :  he  had  been  taking  a  stiff  course  of  legal 
reading  during  the  winter  and  felt  just  at  present 
absurdly  familiar  with  legal  rulings  and  phrases. 

Mr.  Grimes'  voice  became  colder  if  possible  and 
sharpened  by  keen  sarcasm : 

"I,  Sir,  was  the  lawyer  who  drew  the  will. 
Doubtless  I  was  gravely  at  fault  and  signally 
failed  in  my  legal  obligation. ' ' 

John's  grand  manner  suddenly  collapsed:  the 
sense  of  mental  superiority,  which  was  natural  in 
the  narrow  Elmcroft  life,  did  not  stand  him  in 
much  stead  when  he  came  in  contact  with  the 
austere  William  Grimes,  Esquire,  one  of  the  ablest 
lawyers  in  New  York:  he  felt  very  small  indeed 
and  spoke  awkwardly  with  much  embarrassment : 

"Oh,  not  at  all,  Mr.  Grimes,  not  at  all! — I — I 
beg  your  pardon." 

For  a  moment  there  was  silence:  then  Mr. 
Grimes,  ignoring  the  personal,  continued :  his  voice 
had  the  monotonous  persistence  of  a  metallic  in- 
strument : 

"My  client  had  excellent  reasons  for  his  judg- 
ment of  women — most  excellent  reasons;  he  had 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    47 

an  opinion  of  women  which  was  unalterable ;  how 
far  it  was  a  just  opinion  is  not  for  me  to  say: 
he  felt  that,  though  women  are  somewhat  neces- 
sary for  the  perpetuation  of  the  race,  they  are 
unfortunate  adjuncts  in  the  scheme  of  creation. 
Personally  he  owed  them  an  unforgettable  debt  of 
bitterness :  after  the  year  1851,  he  avoided  having 
any  women  in  his  life  whatsoever.  He  made  your 
mother  a  slight  exception  to  his  rule. ' ' 

John  scarcely  heard  him:  he  was  recalling  out 
of  the  far  past  a  discussion  between  his  uncle  and 
his  father,  which  his  childish  ears  had  overheard. 

1 '  He  was  a  monster ! ' ' 

"Mr.  Wright,  permit  me  to  say,  it  is  scarcely 
seemly  to  strike  the  dead  hand  that  has  just  given 
you  sixty  million  dollars. ' ' 

1 '  Given  me  nothing ! — he  makes  it  absolutely  im- 
possible for  me  to  take  it." 

"That  is  for  you  to  decide." 

"I  have  already  decided." 

* '  Already  1 ' '  Mr.  Grimes '  cold,  neutral  tone  was 
as  if  he  were  talking  of  some  purely  incidental, 
abstract  matter.  "Would  you  not  better  think 
twice  before  you  throw  away  sixty  million  dol- 
lars?" 

The  very  neutrality  and  impersonality  of  the 
tone  checked  John's  volcanic  mood. 

"And,  pray,  are  there  many  other  conditions?" 

"There  are  two  other  conditions."  Mr.  Grimes 
returned  to  the  paper  in  his  hand,  and  rinding  the 
place,  read — "  'Second,  that  he  shall  at  all  times 


48    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

maintain  in  proper  state,  and  during  the  entire 
period  of  his  natural  life  reside  in,  the  house  built 
by  my  father,  John  Eemington;  and,  Third,  that 
he  shall  personally  supervise  all  the  details  of  the 
management  of  the  estate  devised  and  bequeathed 
to  him,  personally  superintending  the  receiving 
and  receipting  for  the  rents,  issues  and  profits 
thereof,  the  cutting  the  coupons  from  all  bonds 
which  may  constitute  part  of  the  estate,  keeping 
accurate  account  thereof :  and  giving  personal  di- 
rection to  the  carrying  out  of  the  matters  pro- 
vided for  in  relation  to  the  trust  estate  created  by 
this  my  last  will  and  testament  in  accordance  with 
the  directions  herein  contained.  And  I  do  further 
order  and  direct  that,  before  entering  upon  the 
possession  of  any  part  of  the  estate  herein  devised 
and  bequeathed  to  him,  he  shall  execute  and  de- 
liver to  my  executor  an  instrument  containing  a 
covenant  to  observe  and  perform  all  of  said  condi- 
tions according  to  the  true  intent  and  meaning 
thereof ;  but  said  instrument  shall  in  no  wise  alter 
the  effect  of  a  breach  of  either  of  said  conditions 
nor  prevent  the  divesting  of  the  estate  vested  in 
him  pursuant  to  the  provisions  of  this  my  last 
will  and  testament  by  the  breach  of  either  or  any 
of  said  conditions.  But  it  is  my  intention  and  de- 
sire that,  upon  the  execution  by  my  said  grand 
nephew,  John  Eemington  Wright,  of  the  covenant 
aforesaid,  he  shall  enter  into  the  full  possession 
and  enjoyment  of  the  said  one-half  part  of  my 
said  residuary  estate  without  being  compelled  to 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    49 

give  further  security  for  the  faithful  observance 
and  performance  of  the  conditions  aforesaid  than 
his  solemn  promise,  embodied  in  the  covenant 
aforesaid ;  and  I  do  order  and  direct  my  executor 
to  turn  over  to  him  the  said  one-half  part  of  my 
said  residuary  estate  as  soon  as  the  administra- 
tion of  my  estate  by  my  said  executor  shall  have 
been  completed.' 

Mr.  Grimes,  folding  the  will,  looked  narrowly 
at  John:  "I,  Sir,  have  the  honour  to  be  that 
executor — as  you  will  see  when  you  read  the  docu- 
ment. Perhaps  you  will  now  agree  that  my  client 
had  a  sense  of  humour." 

"A  damned  sense  of  it,"  John  muttered  hotly. 

' '  Mr.  Wright,  I  knew  your  esteemed  great  uncle 
for  fifty  years,  and  I  never  heard  him  make  use 
of  that  word." 

''What  word?" 

"Damned." 

"It  would  have  been  much  better  for  him  if  he 
had  used  it  as  his  chief  form  of  speech,"  John 
fired. 

"I  fail  to  see  any  virtue  in  profanity.  Your 
great  uncle  was  a  man  of  few  words  and  those 
words  were  chosen  with  discrimination,  and 
spoken  with  accomplishment." 

' '  It  strikes  me  that  he  was  a  prig — and  a  phari- 
see!" 

Mr.  Grimes'  manner  had  the  effect  of  an  irri- 
tant upon  John — and  he  spoke  without  weighing 
Ms  words : 


50    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"I  beg  that  yon  will  guard  your  tongue,  Mr. 
Wright,  in  speaking  of  my  client  and  my  valued 
friend  for  over  fifty  years :  your  great  uncle  was 
a  most  estimable  and  admirable  gentleman." 

The  quiet  voice  of  Mr.  Grimes  needed  no  em- 
phasis, the  underscoring  of  his  sharp  eyes  was 
sufficient  to  put  his  words  in  italics. 

' '  Pardon  me,  but  he  was  a  lunatic !  It  is  quite 
clear  that  he  was  a  raving  lunatic ! ' ' 

Mr.  Grimes'  sharp  eyes  gave  John  the  cold  dis- 
comfiture of  a  cutting  blast. 

' '  I  drew  the  will,  Sir,  as  I  have  said,  and  I  can 
testify  to  his  exceptionally  sound,  sane  and  dis- 
cerning mind." 

The  room  was  silent — except  for  the  crinkle  and 
crackle  of  the  paper  as  Mr.  Grimes  carefully 
folded  the  will  and  neatly  tied  it  with  the  red  tape. 
When  he  had  smoothed  it  to  his  satisfaction  he 
held  it  out  to  John: 

"Here  is  a  copy  of  the  last  will  and  testament 
of  your  great  uncle.  I  will  leave  it  with  you  to 
read  at  leisure.  It  is  long,  and  to  the  lay  mind 
is,  I  fear,  rather  complicated,  for  your  great  uncle 
was  involved  in  many  enterprises  both  personal 
and  altruistic,  but  I  have  made  copious  notes  on 
the  margin  and  have  added  memoranda;  there- 
fore, I  trust  it  will  not  be  altogether  unintelligible 
to  you.  I  fancy  you  can  grasp  the  essential 
points. ' ' 

John  looked  amused : 

"I  fancy  so." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    51 

Mr.  Grimes  gave  him  an  inquiring  glance  over 
his  glasses : 

"  There  are  many  technical  points  but  those  I 
can  explain  later.  I  will  return  to  the  hotel  for 
dinner. ' ' 

John,  with  impetuous  and  reckless  hospitality 
suggested  that  Mr.  Grimes  should,  instead,  share 
the  frugal  supper  at  the  farm,  inwardly  smiling 
at  the  thought  of  the  extreme  frugality  of  the  sup- 
per that  would  be  set  before  the  elegant  Mr. 
Grimes.  Mr.  Grimes,  however,  courteously  de- 
clined the  invitation  and  added: 

"I  am  leaving  for  New  York  on  the  midnight 
train,  Mr.  Wright;  before  I  go  I  desire  to  know 
your  decision  in  this  matter,  and,  if  you  decide 
to  accept  your  great  uncle's  bequest,  I  desire  also 
to  have  you  sign  the  paper  which  I  have  pre- 
pared." 

"Mr.  Grimes,  will  you  tell  me  why — if  I  were 
such  a  fool  as  to  consider  the  bequest — I  should 
have  to  sign  a  paper?" 

' '  It  is  so  provided  in  the  will,  as  I  have  already 
read  to  you  from  the  document. ' ' 

"But  why?"  persisted  John.  "Why  is  it  so 
provided?" 

"Because,"  replied  Mr.  Grimes,  "your  great 
uncle  was  not  content  to  leave  the  matter  upon 
the  basis  of  the  consequences  of  the  breach  of  a 
condition  subsequent,  which  is  in  the  last  analysis 
an  appeal  to  sordid  consideration,  but  he  desired 
to  place  it  upon  the  surer  foundation  of  the  obliga- 


52   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

tion  of  a  covenant,  thereby  giving  us  a  more  cer- 
tain and  abiding  confidence  in  your  continued  co- 
operation. Men  as  a  rule  do  not  break  covenants : 
your  great  uncle  felt  quite  confident  that  no  Bem- 
ington  would,  under  any  circumstances,  do  so  per- 
fidious a  thing. " 

Mr.  Grimes  took  from  his  pocket  his  handker- 
chief and  polished  his  glasses  for  some  time  in 
silence,  then  he  continued  in  his  judicial  tones : 

"Your  great  uncle  was  a  man  of  many  vast  and 
complicated  enterprises  which  require  prompt  at- 
tention :  as  they  are  enterprises  of  a  private  and 
confidential  nature,  he  desired  that  he — or  I,  as  his 
representative — be  assured  of  your  co-operation 
with  us  before  they  are  communicated  to  you. 
Moreover,  there  are  certain  personal  matters 
which  your  great  uncle  desired  communicated  only 
to  his  residuary  legatee :  therefore,  he  desired  that 
I,  as  his  representative,  should  assure  myself  be- 
yond a  peradventure  of  the  co-operation  of  that 
legatee  before  communicating  those  matters  to 
him." 

"But  why  sign  a  paper?  Would  not  my  word 
be  sufficient!" 

Mr.  Grimes  smiled  his  chilly  little  smile : 

"A  written  covenant,  Sir,  will  have  the  advan- 
tage of  possibly  protecting  you  from  yourself. 
You  were  in  effect  a  stranger  to  your  great  uncle 
but  he  did  you  the  honour  to  assume  you  were  a 
man  of  your  word :  he  knew  that  you  inherited  in- 
tegrity and  honour  from  generations  of  Eeming- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    53 

tons:  but  he  knew  full  well  the  temptations  to 
which  young  men  are  prone  from  the  heat  and 
caprices  of  youth  and  he  felt  that  if  you  were  safe- 
guarded by  a  visible  document  it  might  be  easier 
for  you  in  case  such  temptation  arose :  he  desired 
to  avoid  the  embarrassing  situation  which  would 
occur  if  you  were  given,  through  me,  his  full  con- 
fidence, and  entered  into  a  co-operation  concerning 
certain  matters  precious  to  him,  and  then  failed 
in  the  event ;  that  is  to  say  in  measuring  up  to  the 
expectation  entertained  by  your  great  uncle  of 
your  integrity,  truth  and  character.  He  knew 
that  a  solemn  covenant,  as  a  condition  to  the  vest- 
ing of  the  estate,  would  insure  your  observing  the 
conditions:  in  which  case  his  hopes  and  his  ex- 
pectations would  not  be  frustrated. " 

"I  see,"  said  John  limply,  although  he  did  not 
see  in  the  least. 

"Your  great  uncle  was  a  man  of  prompt  action 
and  was  greatly  opposed  to  temporising  in  busi- 
ness. Let  us  follow  his  example.  The  matter  can 
be  settled  to-night,  Mr.  Wright,  as  well  as  later 
and  then  we  may  proceed  at  once  to  the  communi- 
cations and  the  formalities.  I  shall  be  pleased  if 
you  will  wait  upon  me  at  the  hotel  and  give  me 
your  decision." 

* '  I  have  told  you,  Mr.  Grimes,  that  my  decision 
is  already  made. ' ' 

"Mr.  Wright,  I  beg  you  will  take  the  advice  of 
one  old  enough  to  be  your  grandfather — one  who 
was  your  great  uncle's  closest  friend,  and,  I  am 


54    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

proud  to  say,  his  adviser  and  counsellor — never 
decide  any  matter  without  giving  it  a  second 
thought." 

Mr.  Grimes  felt  that  he  was  being  loyal  to  his 
old  friend,  John  Kemington,  in  bearing  patiently 
with  this  trying  young  upstart. 

"  Pardon  me,  Mr.  Grimes,  but  Emerson  says 
'Beware  of  second  thoughts.'  He  maintains  that 
our  first  spontaneous  thought  takes  us  more  di- 
rectly to  the  truth  and  that  second  thoughts  blur 
the  vision." 

Mr.  Grimes'  features  assumed  their  profes- 
sional sharpening: 

"Mr.  Emerson,  Sir,  was  speaking  of  'hitching 
wagons  to  stars '  and  various  other  like  eccentrici- 
ties, concerning  which  he  would  probably  have 
been  silent  had  he  thought  twice  before  he  spoke : 
but  regarding  practical  money  matters,  I  am  of  the 
opinion  that  Mr.  Emerson  was  sufficiently  sensible 
to  have  thought  several  times  before  refusing  sixty 
million  dollars:  Mr.  Emerson  was  a  New  Eng- 
lander,  Mr.  Wright." 

"I  regard  Emerson  as  one  of  the  greatest  men 
who  ever  lived, ' '  blurted  John  emphatically. 

"  Indeed?" 

Mr.  Grimes'  tone  in  uttering  that  single  word 
seemed  to  sum  up  his  opinion  of  John — and  also 
of  Emerson.  After  a  brief  pause  he  continued : 

"It  is  just  six  o'clock — there  are  six  and  a  half 
hours  before  I  leave  Elmcrof t :  that  is  ample  time 
for  the  decision,  if  you  concentrate  your  entire 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    55 

mind  on  the  matter.  May  I  expect  you  at  the 
hotel  about  ten  o'clock?" 

"Most  certainly  I  will  come,  Mr.  Grimes, "  John 
spoke  with  his  charming  grace ;  he  was  ashamed  of 
the  irritability  he  had  been  tempted  into  betraying, 
in  his  excitement ;  *  *  I  will  come  to  thank  you  again 
— as  I  do  now — for  all  the  trouble  you  have  taken 
on  my  behalf :  but — as  for  my  decision — I  have  al- 
ready told  you,  that  is  made." 

"The  brain,  Mr.  Wright,  is  composed  of  many 
cells :  you  have,  as  yet,  opened  only  one  cell — and 
that  in  great  haste.  Permit  me  to  say  you  are  obli- 
gated to  give  the  opportunities  offered  you  due 
consideration.  You  owe  it  to  your  great  uncle, 
who  has  generously  and  unexpectedly  endowed  you 
with  a  possibility  of  vast  opportunity :  moreover, 
you  owe  it  to  that  estimable  lady,  your  mother, 
to  open  other  cells  in  your  brain  before  you  decide 
the  question  submitted  to  you." 

"That  is  quite  true,"  John  replied  quickly — his 
mind  immediately  beginning  to  travel  new  lines 
of  thought,  filled  with  tender  pictures  of  his  be- 
loved mother. 

Mr.  Grimes  held  out  a  letter :  ' '  Here  is  a  letter 
for  you  from  your  deceased  great  uncle,  Mr. 
Wright." 

When  John  touched  the  letter  he  had  an  uncanny 
feeling ;  it  was  as  though  his  living  hand  had  coine 
in  contact  with  a  dead  hand.  He  bowed  to  Mr. 
Grimes  without  a  word. 

"May  I  ask,  Mr.  Wright,  what  that  extraordi- 


56   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

nary — that  most  extraordinary  man  of  yonrs  has 
done  with  my  hat  and  coat  ? ' ' 

"Oh,  I  beg  your  pardon! — Eben!"  John  called. 

Eben  came  so  quickly  that,  if  he  were  any  one 
but  Eben,  it  would  have  suggested  eavesdropping. 
Eben  would  never  stoop  to  eavesdropping — his 
general  interest,  however,  would  keep  him  near 
enough  to  gather  crumbs  of  information  by  ob- 
servation :  such  gathering  was  consistent  with  his 
rigid  code  of  honour. 

"Eben,  did  you  take  this  gentleman's  hat  and 
coat?" 

* '  Yes,  Meester  John.    I  '11  get  'em. ' ' 

Eben  went  into  the  hall  and  returned  with  a 
tall  beaver  of  the  newest  form  and  a  smart  spring 
overcoat  of  the  newest  cut:  he  handed  them  to 
Mr.  Grimes,  his  eyes  still  following  them  with 
vivid  curiosity. 

Mr.  Grimes  slowly  and  deliberately  regarded 
Eben  from  head  to  foot  as  though  he  were  a  sub- 
ject of  scientific  interest  and  with  such  a  curious 
expression  that  John  found  himself  wondering, 
even  in  his  mental  excitement,  what  could  have 
been  the  encounter  between  these  two  before  he 
had  arrived.  As  John  walked  with  Mr.  Grimes 
to  the  car,  he  heard  Eben  give  an  enigmatical 
grunt  of  a  laugh.  When  the  car  sped  away  John 
was  tempted,  for  a  moment,  to  question  Eben  as 
to  the  comedy — or  possibly  the  tragedy ! — that  had 
previously  taken  place,  but  the  turmoil  in  his  own 
mind  was  so  overpowering  that  he  could  not  stop 


for  asides.  As  soon  as  the  car  had  disappeared 
amongst  the  trees,  he  went  quickly  into  the  house 
and  ran  up  the  low  flight  of  stairs  to  the  room 
at  the  head  of  the  stairs. 

"Mary  Jane  says  supper's  ready,"  Eben  called 
after  him. 

John  tossed  his  head. 

"Give  it  to  the  cows — don't  bother  me." 

Eben's  jaw  fell. 

"Ain't  you  go  in'  ter  eat  no  supper?" 

"I've  a  Barmecide  feast,  to-night — and  that's 
enough  for  my  digestion." 

Eben  looked  a  stolid  reproof. 

"So  you've  had  supper  at  the  Parsonage! 
You'd  oughter  tell  folks  sooner.  It's  wasteful  to 
have  good  victuals  cooked  that  ain't  e't — it's  riot- 
ous livin'." 

The  room  John  entered  was  small,  but  its  books 
spoke  silently  of  a  large  world.  Eben  had  put  up 
-plain  shelves  from  the  floor  to  the  ceiling  and 
John's  beloved  books  lined  the  room.  Spending- 
money  had  always  been  scarce  with  John  but 
whatever  he  could  scrape  together  was  spent 
mostly  on  gifts  and  books ;  his  old  battered  desk 
was  drawn  near  to  the  open  window:  from  there 
could  be  seen  a  wide  sweep  of  meadow  land 
fringed  with  trees  that,  without  the  impertinent 
interference  of  man,  had  grown  wide-spread,  lux- 
uriant and  beautiful:  these  trees  always  seemed 
to  John  to  have  living  personalities.  Beyond  the 


58   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

meadow  land  were  wonderful  hills  ever  changing 
in  the  lights  and  shadows  that  fell  across  them. 

On  the  desk  were  exquisite  and  delicate  articles 
that  looked  curiously  inconsistent  with  the  mas- 
culine confusion  of  the  room.  His  mother  had 
brought  from  her  old  home  a  few  possessions 
which  she  always  cherished.  John,  with  instinc- 
tive feeling  for  art,  had  chosen  the  best  of  these 
to  make  the  atmosphere  of  this  room  which  he 
called  his  "work  room,"  and  which  Eben  called 
the  room  where  John  went  to  get  away  from  work. 
The  top  of  the  desk  was  a  strange,  a  smile-pro- 
voking medley :  an  exquisite  Tanagra  figure  stood 
near  a  mechanical  contrivance  which  John  had 
been  testing  on  the  farm — a  dainty  graceful  danc- 
ing girl  of  golden  china  stood  next  to  a  large  hide- 
ous pair  of  rusty  shears — a  vase  of  fine  Venetian 
glass  was  pushed  aside  for  a  pile  of  pebbles  gath- 
ered for  some  farm  purpose:  the  medley  was 
indicative  of  John's  life;  perhaps,  also,  of  his  na- 
ture, which  nature  was  a  curious  mixture  of  the 
sturdy  and  the  exquisite. 


CHAPTEB  IV 

JOHN  went  to  the  old  and  battered  desk  before 
which  he  had  spent  many  hours  of  ambition  and 
of  hope :  he  leaned  his  arms  upon  it,  clasped  his 
hands,  and  sat  as  one  dazed — looking  straight  be- 
fore him.  The  sound  of  the  hoarse  croak  of  the 
frogs,  in  the  pool  back  of  the  house,  came  through 
the  open  window;  and  through  the  large  cracks 
in  the  closed  door  could  be  heard  the  ticking  of 
the  old  clock  in  the  hall — that  clock  which  had 
ticked  away  so  many  generations  of  Wrights,  and 
had  ticked  John's  young  and  buoyant  life  to  the 
crisis  of  this  moment. 

' '  Sixty  million  dollars ! "  he  said,  at  last.  ' '  Sixty 
million  dollars — Sixty  million  dollars — Sixty  mil- 
lion dollars!  God  in  heaven — SIXTY  MILLION  DOL- 
LARS  ! ' ' 

For  some  moments  he  sat  motionless.  At  last 
he  reached  out  for  the  letter  Mr.  Grimes  had  left 
with  him.  Again,  as  he  touched  it,  he  had  the 
curious  feeling  that  his  living  hand  had  come  in 
contact  with  a  dead  hand.  His  imagination  made 
him  shrink  from  breaking  the  seal — and  yet — his 
curiosity  could  not  break  it  quickly  enough. 

"Mr  DEAR  GRAND  NEPHEW,"-— he  read, 
"You  are  the  nearest  living  descendant  of  the 

so 


60    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

House  of  Eemington.  My  pride  in  that  upright 
and  honourable  family  finds  its  outlet  in  you. 

"I  remember  your  desire  for  money  when  you 
were  a  little  chap  and — because  you  are  a  Eeming- 
ton and  because  you  are  your  mother's  son  and 
because  you  bear  my  name — it  pleases  me  to  ful- 
fil that  desire:  but  anything  that  is  worth  hav- 
ing is  worth  paying  a  price  for,  and  I  expect  you 
to  pay  a  price  for  the  bequest  which  I  purpose  to 
leave  to  you.  I  have  made  three  conditions  upon 
which  the  bequest  is  dependent. 

"The  first  and  principal  condition  is  that  you 
do  not  marry.  My  reasons  for  making  this  condi- 
tion do  not  concern  you,  nor  would  they  be  agree- 
able for  me  to  state,  but  they  are  sufficiently  im- 
portant to  make  me  consider  them  in  the  final 
disposition  of  my  property.  Therefore,  unless  you 
can  fulfil  this  condition,  my  residuary  estate  must 
go  to  a  very  remote  relative — whose  name  hap- 
pens to  be  Eemington. 

"Half  of  it  is  a  free  gift  and  the  income  of  the 
other  half.  This  other  half  will  ultimately  go  to 
various  Institutions :  but  for  a  generation  longer, 
pending  the  winding  up  of  certain  enterprises  and 
the  development  of  certain  investments,  I  should 
like  to  have  the  entire  estate  remain  in  the  hands 
of  our  family.  I  should  greatly  regret  the  dis- 
position of  my  estate  to  the  other  legatee,  which 
would  become  necessary  if  you  refuse  to  fulfil 
the  conditions  of  this  acceptance:  but  much  as  I 
should  regret  it,  it  is  preferable  to  having  a  woman 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    61 

installed  in  the  old  Eemington  house  where  my 
mother,  your  great  grandmother,  and  my  sister, 
your  grandmother,  lived  their  honourable  lives. 

"If  the  women  of  the  present  day  were  made 
after  the  manner  of  your  great  grandmother,  my 
mother,  who  passed  on  some  of  her  virtue  to  her 
daughter,  your  grandmother,  I  should  doubtless 
be  inclined  to  forgo  the  debt  of  doubt  which  my 
personal  experience  has  left  me ;  but  when  I  read 
the  records  of  the  divorce  courts — when  I  walk  the 
streets  and  see  the  wanton  and  shameless  exhibi- 
tion at  every  street  corner — when,  even  in  the 
House  of  the  Lord,  on  Sundays,  I  see  the  thinly 
covered  bosoms  and  the  outlined  limbs  of  the 
ladies  of  the  congregation:  when  I  drive  in  the 
Park  and  contemplate  the  babies  in  the  hands  of 
ignorant  nurse  maids  of  a  low  order  of  immi- 
grants, instead  of  with  the  mothers  whom  God  has 
given  them,  I  am  the  more  persuaded  that  my  con- 
clusion is  a  correct  one  and  not  to  be  changed.  I 
feel  that  it  would  be  as  prudent  to  put  gunpowder 
in  the  hands  of  a  monkey  as  it  would  be  to  put  the 
power  of  money  in  the  hands  of  a  woman :  and  the 
trend  of  modern  license  (falsely  called  progress) 
is  to  put  the  possessions  of  the  husband  practically 
into  the  hands  of  the  wife.  Therefore,  I  make  as 
the  condition  of  my  bequest  the  promise  that  you 
forgo  marriage,  to  which  you  might  be  tempted  by 
the  heat  of  youth. 

"There  is  a  second  condition — as  stated  in  the 
will — viz.,  that  you  live  in  the  old  Remington 


62   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

house  where  your  family  has  lived  for  three  gen- 
erations. 

"There  is  also  a  third  condition — as  stated  in 
the  will — it  is  that  you  shall  take  personal  super^ 
vision  of  the  estate — attending  to  details  and  to 
the  enterprises  and  investments  according  to 
memoranda  left  by  me  with  William  Grimes,  Es- 
quire— that  you  may  come  in  constant  touch  with 
the  estate  and  have  a  realising  sense  of  your 
money  and  your  responsibilities. 

"As  I  have  had  my  experience  with  women,  I 
have  had,  also,  my  experience  with  the  repre- 
hensible negligence  of  clerks;  and  I  do  not  wish 
the  money  which  I  have  amassed,  by  strict  atten- 
tion to  business,  to  be  carelessly  or  indifferently 
dealt  with.  All  this  is  stated  in  the  will,  but  I 
have  asked  Mr.  Grimes  to  hand  you  this  letter 
wherein  I  more  emphatically  set  forth  the  matter. 
I  desire  that  you  form  a  final  decision  before  you 
are  put  in  possession  of  certain  facts,  bearing 
upon  my  testamentary  wishes. 

"There  are  certain  enterprises,  for  the  future 
of  which  I  have  plans,  which  I  have  elaborated  in 
a  long  statement  in  Mr.  Grimes'  possession.  Of 
all  these  details,  Mr.  Grimes  will  hand  you  memo- 
randa, and  can  inform  you  and  advise  you  fully, 
if  you  decide  to  accept  my  conditions.  It  will  not 
add  to  the  efficiency  of  my  plans  to  have  many 
know  of  them:  moreover,  there  are  certain  mat- 
ters which  have  to  do  with  my  personal  history, 
concerning  which  I  have  a  natural  reserve,  and  I 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    63 

do  not  wish  to  take  more  persons  than  necessary 
into  my  confidence:  therefore,  I  would  have  Mr. 
Grimes  quite  convinced  of  the  reliability  of  your 
continued  co-operation,  before  he  lays  these  mat- 
ters before  you.  There  has  been  ample  provision 
made  to  meet  these  testamentary  matters.  All  the 
rest,  residue  and  remainder  of  my  estate  I  give  to 
the  beneficiary,  half  outright  and  the  income  of 
half  of  it  for  his  life.  I  should  like  that  bene- 
ficiary to  be  the  son  of  Mary  Wright  and  the 
grandson  of  my  virtuous  sister;  but  I  must  ask 
you  to  make  it  a  matter  of  conscience  to  avoid 
shilly-shallying  in  accepting  the  bequest :  let  your 
decision,  once  made,  be  binding  upon  your  honour 
— for  the  reason  hereinbefore  stated. 

"If  you  happen  to  be  such  a  fool  as  Solomon 
in  his  wisdom  deplored,  you  may  prefer  the  pos- 
session of  folly,  extravagance,  shameless  vanity 
and  falsehood  (by  which  epithets  I  sum  up  any 
possible  wife  that  you  might  choose)  to  the  pos- 
session of  vast  opportunity,  large  influence  and 
great  power:  in  that  case  I  have  nothing  to  say. 
But  if  you  have  wisdom  to  see  the  advantage  of 
vast  opportunity,  large  influence  and  great  power 
you  will  accept  the  bequest.  Once  you  have  de- 
cided to  accept,  you  must  abide  by  the  decision, 
bound  by  the  integrity  and  honour  of  your  word. 

"Your  mother  (although  she  was  a  woman) 
was  completely  true :  in  spite  of  her  folly,  she  had 
a  very  admirable  quality  of  directness  and  truth. 
Your  father  (whom  I  never  liked  in  the  least) 


64    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

had  a  saving  grace  of  integrity:  no  one  could 
doubt  him,  however  much  one  disliked  him.  There- 
fore, I  believe  you  to  be  a  man  of  your  word;  it 
is  your  inheritance. 

"Moreover,  I  have  taken  pains  to  investigate 
your  record  at  Harvard  and  I  find  that  untruth  is 
not  amongst  your  faults.  You  will  consider  and 
decide  if  the  money  is  worth  the  price  I  demand ; 
and  once  decided,  the  decision  must  be  final. 

1 '  That  no  wily  ways  of  women  may,  later,  have 
the  possibility  of  making  you  forget  your  promise, 
and  turn  your  back  on  the  responsibilities  you 
have  once  assumed  (sacrificing  your  deliberate 
judgment  to  temporary  temptation  of  the  senses) 
I  have  asked  Mr.  Grimes  to  draw  up  a  covenant 
for  you  to  sign  in  case  you  decide  to  accept  the 
bequest  on  the  conditions  hereinbefore  stated.  I 
do  this  to  save  you  from  a  subsequent  temptation 
to  break  your  word,  which  might  prove  stronger 
than  your  inheritance  of  integrity. 
"I  remain, 

"Your  Uncle, 

"JOHN  KEMINGTON." 

"The  old  lunatic  is  right."  John  spoke  as 
though  he  had  been  running  fast.  "I  must  take 
it  or  leave  it,  and  have  done:  one  cannot  play 
fast  and  loose  with  sixty  million  dollars :  if  I  de- 
cide to  take  it — if? — Why,  I  have  decided !  I  have 
decided ! ' '  His  hand,  with  the  letter  in  it,  falls  to 
the  table.  He  does  not  see  the  little  room,  the 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    65 

battered  books,  the  dim  study  lamp :  he  is  stand- 
ing in  the  apple  orchard — he  sees  the  light  in 
Marion's  eyes — the  loose  curls  of  her  shining  hair 
upon  her  forehead — the  colour  coming  and  going 
in  her  cheeks — the  suggestion  of  a  dimple  in  the 
corner  of  her  adorable  mouth;  what  would  sixty 
million  dollars  be  to  a  kiss  upon  that  dimple?  Ah, 
for  one  delicious  moment  to  have  her  in  his  arms, 
to  drain  her  sweetness!  And  yet — after  that 
moment — what?  What  for  him?  And  what  for 
her?  Let  him  be  quite  generous  and  just: 
has  he  a  right  to  take  that  exquisite  creature  to 
poverty,  care  and,  perhaps,  to  want?  He  is  a  man 
and  he  can  make  his  way — but  can  he?  In  any 
case,  the  pleasant  time  of  success  is  far  off! — 
sixty  million  dollars! — he  dare  not  think  of  it — > 
sixty  million  dollars! — it  will  be  two  years,  at 
least,  perhaps  longer  before  he  can  claim  her,  and 
in  the  meantime  she  is  blushing  unseen  in  this 
godforsaken  hole — let  him  be  a  man  and  stand  out 
of  her  way  and  give  the  city  fellows  a  chance! 
There  is  that  rich  young  Waller  who  is  simply 
crazy  about  her;  he  came  one  summer  to  hunt, 
and  has  come  since  to  hunt — Marion !  There  are 
others — no  matter  for  their  confounded  names — 
what  right  has  he  to  bring  her  to  his  desolate, 
dreary  farm,  or  to  keep  her  waiting  while  he  toils 
and  moils  to  get  his  few  pennies  together  before 
he  can  ask  her  to  marry  him?  Ask  her? — why — to 
all  intents  and  purposes  he  has  asked  her! — in 
that  rosy  moment  in  the  sunset,  beneath  the  apple 


66    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

boughs!  Nonsense!  NONSENSE!  What  had  he 
said?  Nothing!  Absolutely  nothing !  Eben  came 
at  the  very  moment  he  was  about  to  speak — and 
saved  him! — saved  him? — Sixty  million  dollars!! 
— Is  it  not  conclusive  that  he  had  had  no  real 
thought  of  marriage?  Eben  can  testify  to  that. 
At  five  o'clock  he  had  told  Eben  he  was  surely 
going  to  New  York — he  intended  to  go  next  week 
— his  plans,  his  purpose,  his  decision  were  all 
made  to  go — to  leave  her  free — and  to  be  long 
enough  away  from  her  to  really  know  his  own 
mind:  if  everything  nearly  broke  down  for  a  mo- 
ment before  the  madness  of  the  May  lure — what  of 
that?  is  he  to  be  bound  by  that  momentary  mad- 
ness? All  these  years  he  has  walked  beside  her, 
keeping  a  check  upon  his  tongue  and  building  up 
an  honourary  protection  of  her,  against  his  own 
desires — if,  to-night,  it  was  almost  swept  away  by 
the  delirium  of  her  prescient  sweet  surrender — 
must  that  count  against  the  years? — Her  surren- 
der?— John  started;  he  jumped  up  and  began  to 
pace  the  floor  of  the  little  room;  a  hot  colour 
spread  over  his  cheeks,  up  into  the  line  where  his 
hair  grew  upon  his  forehead.  Was  it  surrender? 
Had  she  given  a  silent  answer  to  the  unasked 
question — understood? — was  he  in  honour  bound? 
Bah ! — what  a  conceited  cad ! — how  dare  he  take  a 
reflection  in  her  eyes  of  his  own  mad  desire  for 
her  confession! — how  does  he  know  she  even  knew 
his  thought,  she  is  always  gracious — but  he  does 
know! — Ah!  does  he? — he  told  her  he  wanted  to 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    67 

talk  to  her,  had  something  important  to  say  to 
her!  Yes,  but  that  was  nothing — he  has  said 
the  same  to  her  for  years — they  are  such  excellent 
comrades — and  she  has  said  the  same  to  him,  time 
after  time — and  when  they  had  met,  it  had  been 
only  some  new  plan  or  scheme  of  life  and  pleasure, 
some  new  discovery  in  a  book — or  on  a  subject 
they  wished  to  share  each  with  the  other — why, 
only  last  week  he  had  received  a  note  from  her — 
"Come  at  once,  I  have  something  important  to 
say  to  you" — those  were  the  very  words  he  had 
said  to  her  to-night! — and  when  he  had  gone  to 
her,  it  was  merely  a  question  concerning  her 
father — would  she  not  think  those  words  of  his 
to-night  meant  something  casual,  in  the  habit  of 
comradeship?  It  is  true  he  had,  in  the  delirium 
of  Spring,  in  the  madness  of  the  moment,  intended 
this  time  to  say  the  different,  the  deeper  and  the 
final  word — but  how  could  she  know  that  ?  He  had 
been  saved  from  his  own  delirium  as  by  a  miracle 
— he  had  not  spoken — NOT  A  SINGLE  .  SYLLABLE  ! 
Fortunately  Eben  had  interrupted  him  at  the  very 
moment  he  was  about  to  speak — Fortunately? 
Is  it  fortunate  I — Yes,  for  now  he  is  free  to  decide 
the  question  without  considering  that  point  of 
honour.  Decide ! — Why,  he  has  decided !  He  has 
decided  to  throw  over  sixty  million  dollars  for 
Marion! — and  yet — after  all — perhaps  she  does 
not  care! — how  can  he  be  so  conceited  as  to  take 
for  granted  that  she  loves  him — even  if  he  does 
love  her — Ah!  does  he  love  her? — In  this  cool 


68   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

reaction,  away  from  the  intoxicating  spell  of 
May  madness  and  song-birds  and  spring-beauty 
—in  this  little  poverty-bare  room  of  strenuous 
reminder,  he  is  not  so  sure  that  he  does  love 
her — and  if  he  does — then  the  old  question !  How 
can  he  put  upon  her  the  grievous,  the  intolerable 
burden  of  poverty?  If  he  stays  here,  there  is  no 
hope  of  gain — if  he  goes  to  New  York  it  will  be  a 
hand-to-mouth  struggle  for  two  years  at  least; 
she  may  not  care  for  money — but  she  does  not 
know  what  poverty  is ! — she  is  made  for  luxury— 
for  beauty — ah,  wait !  another  thought — what  can 
he  not  do  FOR  HER  with  sixty  million  dollars?— 
for  her — and  for  his  old  teacher,  her  father,  his 
mother's  friend,  to  whom  he  owes  so  much 

There  is  a  knock  at  the  door. 

"Come  in." 

Eben  entered,  and  was  about  to  ask  a  question 
when  John  quickly  spoke : 

' '  Eben,  I  want  to  talk  to  you. ' '  John  went  back 
to  his  chair — and,  turning,  looked  at  Eben.  Eben 
puckered  his  mouth  for  a  whistle. 

"Somethin's  up.    What  is  it?" 

"Sit  down."    John  spoke  peremptorily. 

Eben  sidled  to  a  chair  and  sat  awkwardly  on  the 
edge. 

"Eben,  do  you  remember  my  mother's  uncle, 
John  Remington?" 

"Do  I  remember  'him?  You'd  better  believe  I 
remember  him.  Didn't  I  have  to  get  up  at  four 
o 'clock  in  the  mornin'  to  clean  his  boots?  I  didn't 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    69 

usual  get  up  till  five,  but  yer  Ma  come  to  me  an' 
says  she  to  me,  'Eben,'  says  she,  'please  do  it 
for  my  sake, '  says  she.  '  Uncle  John 's  life  is  very 
deeferent  from  our'n  an*  I  don't  want  him  to  be 
too  uncomfortable  here,'  says  she.  When  yer  Ma 
looked  at  me  like  that  with  them  eyes  o'  her'n  I'd 
have  just  done  any  thin'  she  said:  I  swaller'd  the 
pride  of  the  natural  man — an'  cleaned  his  boots." 

"He  is  dead." 

"  'Bout  time.  He  must  have  been  near  a  hun- 
dred. He  was  a  ripe  old  age  in  them  days — 
an'  that's  'most  twenty  years  gone  by." 

' '  He  is  dead, ' '  John  continued, '  *  and  he  has  left 
sixty  million  dollars " 

"Wai,  he  had  to  leave  it — he  couldn't  take  it 
with  him — not  a  penny  of  it." 

"He  has  left  it — to — to  my  mother's  son." 

"Yer  Ma's  son?  Speak  plainer — do  you  mean 
you?" 

"Yes." 

Eben  scratched  his  head. 

"Wai,  I'm  glad  I  cleaned  them  boots!" 

John  jumped  up  and  began  pacing  the  room 
again.  After  a  moment 's  silence,  Eben  said  with 
a  grunt  of  satisfaction : 

* '  Now  we  can  have  a  new  horse  for  the  ploughin ' 
— we  need  it  bad  'miff." 

"Why  not  a  motor  plough,  Eben?"  said  John, 
smiling.  "If  we  are  playing  at  spending  this 
Aladdin  stuff,  we  might  as  well  indulge  ourselves 
with  the  best  to  be  had." 


70    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"  'Tain't  the  best,"  grunted  Eben;  " there  ain't 
no  motor  man  ever  made  that  can  beat  a  horse  the 
Lord  made." 

"See  here,  Eben,  if  the  Lord  made  the  man 
who  made  the  motor  why  didn't  the  Lord  make 
the  motor?" 

"Wai,  you  see " 

John  snapped  him  short: 

' '  Confound  it !  This  is  not  the  time  to  go  wad- 
ing in  mental  bogs  nor  to  indulge  ourselves  in 
spending  imaginary  money.  You  can't  have  a 
motor — nor  a  horse — nor  any  blasted  thing — 
we're  paupers — paupers,  worse  luck!  I  can't 
even  have  a  new  suit  nor  a  new  necktie.  We  must 
go  on  living  on  a  penny  a  day  and  running  the 
farm  on  a  dime  a  week — until  I  can  make  some 
money." 

Eben  was  not  at  all  disconcerted  by  John's  as- 
sertion. 

"Old  Remington's  money  'ud  come  easier. 
When  do  you  get  it?" 

John  tossed  his  head  like  a  restive  horse: 

"Never! — don't  you  understand!  I  don't  in- 
tend to  take  it — he  attaches  a  condition  to  the  be- 
quest. He  leaves  me  the  money  on  condition  that 
I  never  marry." 

"Wai,  I  didn't  know  old  Remington  had  so  much 
common  sense.  I  al'ays  thought  he  was  some 'at 
of  a  fool — 'cause  he  used  them  new-fangled  jim- 
cracks  when  he  went  afishin'." 

John's  look  was  a  strange  one. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    71 

' l  Sense !    Do  you  call  that  sense  f ' ' 

Eben  nodded  his  head  emphatically. 

"Any  man  who  gets  married  has  'trouble  in 
the  flesh';  we  have  the  Bible's  word  for  it.'* 

John  was  tempted  for  a  moment  into  self-be- 
trayal. 

"But  any  man  who  doesn't  marry  the  woman 
he  loves  has  trouble  in  the  heart,  and  that's  much 
worse." 

"No,  'tain't!"  said  Eben  stolidly.  "That's 
nothin'!  A  man  gets  over  heart-trouble  quick 
'miff  'cause  he's  only  got  himself  to  fight,  an' 
he  can  do  his  kickin'  alone :  but  when  a  man's  mar- 
ried, he's  in  double  harness,  an'  if  he  kicks,  the 
woman  gets  hurt." 

"Eben,  I  believe  that's  true." 

"  'Course  it's  true:  ever  know  me  to  tell  you 
a  lief  Had  you  thought  of  marryin"?" 

"That's  an  impertinent  question!  But,  Eben, 
you  are  the  very  best  friend  I  ever  had :  you  car- 
ried me  in  your  arms  when  I  was  a  baby,  you 
taught  me  everything  I  know  about  the  woods 
and  the  streams!  you  have  stood  by  me  through 
my  blue  devils.  I  don't  mind  telling  you  the  truth 
— I  am  in  love." 

Even  as  he  said  it  he  asked  himself  the  ques- 
tion: "Am  I  in  love?"  Not  as  men  may  love! 
Not  as  John  apprehended  he  could  love — not  as 
he  knew  that  he  was  one  day  to  love :  he  had  been 
overswept  by  the  compelling  impulse  of  Spring, 
but  what  did  he  know  of  love — of  love  as  he  had 


72    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

dreamed  it,  of  the  love  of  which  the  poets  sing? 

Eben  regarded  John  with  something  of  the  look 
he  used  to  give  him  long  ago  when  he  was  a  little 
boy. 

"You  are,  are  you?  Wai,  love's  like  the  measles 
to  a  young  'un;  you'll  get  over  it." 

"Sometimes,"  John  added,  "I  think  I  should 
like  to  marry  the  woman  I  love." 

Eben  looked  grim. 

"That's  a  horse  of  another  colour.  It  would  be 
a  sin  ag'in  Nature  for  a  man  to  marry  the  woman 
he  loves." 

John  stared  in  amused  amazement. 

"A  sin  to  marry  the  woman  you  love?" 

"Yes,  when  a  man  marries  he  had  ought  to  take 
a  woman  as  he  buys  a  cow  an'  he  had  ought  to  run 
away  from  the  woman  he  loves." 

"What  do  you  mean?" 

Eben  waited  a  moment  and  then  replied  as 
though  it  were  a  matter  to  which  he  had  given 
much  discriminating  thought  in  the  past: 

"Don't  you  know  them  pretty  butterflies  with 
shiny  wings — kind  of  gossamylike — they  flutter 
an'  flutter  in  the  summer  time :  if  you  lie  down  an' 
look  at  'em  they  most  set  you  crazy  wantin'  to 
have  'em  in  yer  hand,  but  if  you  catch  one  of  'ein 
y're  sure  to  break  her  wings,  sooner  or  later,  an' 
you  wish  you'd  let  her  alone  an'  you  may  bet  yer 
bottom  dollar  the  butterfly  wishes  it  too.  Marry- 
in'  a  woman  you  love  is  like  that.  'Tis  much  bet- 
ter to  go  an'  get  a  cow  that  gives  milk  than  'tis 


to  run  after  them  gossamylike  butterflies  that  be- 
dazzle you.  ' ' 

Here  was  the  homely  putting  of  a  practical 
truth. 

"But  I  like  butterflies  and  I  hate  cows!"  John 
exclaimed  impatiently. 

"  'Tain't  what  you  like  nor  what  you  hate — it's 
what's  a  square  deal.  The  butterfly's  all  right 
if  you  'd  let  her  be  a  butterfly  but  'taint  in  nature 
— a  man  catches  the  butterfly  an '  when  he  gets  her 
all  right  he  expects  her  to  be  a  cow  an'  give  milk 
an'  then  her  pretty  wings  gets  broke." 

"Perhaps  you  are  right,  Eben." 

"  'Course  I'm  right.    I  al'ays  am." 

John  still  paced  the  floor — his  hands  deep-thrust 
in  his  pockets. 

"I  don't  know  whether  this  damnable  bequest  is 
a  temptation — or  a  salvation." 

"It's  mighty  hard  to  tell  which  is  which,  most 
generally — temptation  or  salvation." 

Something  drove  John  on  to  put  the  issue  to 
the  test  of  this  primitive  mind. 

"Eben,  do  you  advise  me  to  take  this  money?" 

"I'd  never  get  in  no  such  scrape  as  advisin'  you 
nothin'  any  more.  How  many  times  have  I  ad- 
vised you,  an'  how  many  times  have  you  took  it?" 

"Well,  what  would  you  do  if  you  had  the  ques- 
tion put  to  you?" 

"Me?  I  couldn't  have  no  sixty-million-dollar 
question  put  to  me." 

"But  what  would  you  do?" 


"I'd  say,  'No,  thank  ye,  kindly' — money  ain't 
nothin'  but  an  idee " 

*  *  Nothing  but  an  idea  ? ' ' 

"That's  all  'tis — it  can't  buy  the  things  you 
really  want  most,  it  can't  buy  yer  eyesight,  it  can't 
buy  the  rain,  it  can't  buy  the  sun  an'  besides  it's 
a  heap  o'  trouble — more  bother 'n  a  wife." 

"I  don't  intend  to  take  it !"  John  spoke  sharply. 

"Wai,  ain't  that  the  livin'  spit  o'  yer  Pa — to 
ask  advice  for  the  sake  of  hearin'  what  folks  say, 
when  yer  mind 's  made  up ! " 

'  *  Now  go,  Eben,  and  leave  me  alone.  I  want  to 
think,  I  want  to  decide  what  to  do. ' ' 

"I  thought  you'd  decided!" 

"I  have — but  I  want  to  think.  Don't  inter- 
rupt me  again.  I  must  be  absolutely  quiet.  Don't 
come  near  me,  no  matter  what  happens,  until  the 
clock  strikes  ten." 

Eben  went  out  and  John  sat  down ;  he  felt  as  if 
he  were  a  judge  summing  up  a  case:  his  fingers 
drummed  nervously  upon  his  desk,  he  alternately 
smiled  as  he  recalled  some  things  that  Eben  had 
said  and  frowned  savagely  as  he  went  over  the 
thoughts  that  Eben  had  interrupted.  Suddenly 
he  jumped  up  and  went  to  an  old  chest  of  drawers 
in  the  corner:  he  pulled  his  key-ring  out  of  his 
pocket  and,  opening  the  top  drawer,  took  from  it 
a  small,  worn  leather  case :  he  went  to  the  lamp, 
unclasped  the  case  and  gazed  upon  the  features 
of  the  miniature — it  was  the  likeness  of  a  young 
and  lovely  girl  with  a  fine  dark  head,  earnest  eyes 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET   75 

and  laughing  lips.  It  was  his  mother  in  her 
early  youth — the  miniature  was  John's  one  great 
possession. 

"I  do  owe  her  something,"  he  said  aloud;  "to 
go  back  to  the  home  of  her  fathers,  to  become  a 
part  of  her  family,  and  of  her  life!  How  glad 
she  would  be ! " 

She  had  always  seen  him  in  a  larger  place,  as 
she  phrased  it.  What  a  fulfilment  of  her  dream 
if  he  should  be  the  master  of  the  old  Remington 
house!  His  mother's  love  for  his  father  had  im- 
pressed even  his  childish  mind,  but  he  remembered 
that  she  held  an  abiding  romantic  devotion  in  her 
memory  for  her  childhood 's  home.  How  strangely 
Fate  wove  the  thread  of  life! 

As  that  grim  old  Grimes  had  said — was  it  not 
his  DUTY  to  think  of  her?  John's  native  honesty 
suggested  that  this  was  sophistry — "Pure  rot!" 
he  phrased  it  to  himself.  Had  his  mother  not 
left  that  very  home  to  find  home — left  that  very 
life  to  find  life?  He  knew  well  that  when  she 
had  talked  to  him  of  her  prophetic  vision  of  see- 
ing him  in  a  larger  place  than  Elmcroft  she  had 
meant  a  place  that  he  would  win  by  brain  and 
effort — a  place  that  would  be  bright  and  proud 
with  banners  of  his  own  accomplishment.  Yes, 
it  was  sophistry!  Did  he  drag  his  mother  into 
the  question  because — because — in  other  words, 
was  it  a  phase  of  temptation  because  he  wanted 
the  money?  Pshaw!  He  could  not  bother  to- 
night with  hair-splitting  ethics — his  mind  was 


76   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

turning  summersaults  without  sense  or  system— 
his  thoughts  were  like  a  startled  flock  of  wild  birds 
flying  here  and  there,  hither  and  yon  without 
order  or  method:  he  must  follow  these  thoughts 
as  they  came — and  now  his  mother  had  come! 
He  could  see  himself  on  winter  nights,  long  ago, 
by  her  side  before  the  great  log  fire,  listening  to 
tales  of  her  childhood  in  the  old  Remington  house, 
which  had  held  for  him  the  charm  of  Aladdin's 
palace.  It  would  be  a  joy  to  see  that  home — the 
house  that  he  had  dreamed  of  through  all  his 
imaginative  boyhood. 

A  loud  knock  at  the  door !  Eben  opened  it  and 
thrust  in  his  head.  John  instinctively  laid  his 
hand  over  the  miniature — he  could  not  for  the 
life  of  him  have  told  why  he  did  this  altogether 
foolish  and  inconsequent  thing,  for  Eben  and  he 
had  studied  the  miniature  many,  many  times— 
Eben  telling  him  points  of  loveliness  which  the 
miniature  failed  to  catch,  giving  to  John,  in  his 
rough  and  homely  way,  the  clear  picture  of  his 
mother  as  she  had  been  when  she  came  a  young 
and  laughing  bride  to  the  farm  house,  before  she 
had  known  the  strenuous  life  of  poverty  and  the 
sorrow  for  lost  children  that  had  left  the  shadows 
in  her  eyes  which  John  remembered. 

"Say,  Meester  John,"  said  Eben  at  the  door, 
"if  you  want  that  money,  don't  pay  no  attention 
to  what  I  said." 

"Damn  it!  I  don't  want  it!"  said  John  sav- 
agely. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    77 

"Wai,  if  you  do  want  it  you'd  better  take  it 
quick;  'cause  money's  like  water — if  it  slips 
through  yer  fingers  you  can 't  pick  it  up  again. ' ' 

"I  told  you  not  to  interrupt  me.    Go!" 

Eben  stood  a  moment,  scratching  his  head. 

"Say,  Meester  John,  why  don't  you  ask  Mees 
Marion?  She's  as  smart  as  a  witch  'bout  most 
things." 

' '  Oh,  go  to  the  devil !    I  want  to  think ! ' ' 

Eben  withdrew  his  head  and  closed  the  door 
with  emphasis,  muttering  to  himself : 

"When  a  man  wants  to  think  'bout  what  to  do 
'bout  the  thing  that  he's  decided  to  do — then " 

Eben  did  not  finish  the  sentence. 

When  the  clock  struck  ten  with  its  wheezy  stroke 
John  was  still  sitting  before  his  desk,  the  minia- 
ture still  open  before  him :  his  mind  still  in  chaotic 
confusion.  He  took  up  once  more  the  letter  from 
his  dead  uncle ;  hastily  turning  the  pages  he  found 
these  words :  "  If  you  have  the  wisdom  to  see  the 
advantage  of  vast  opportunity,  large  influence  and 
great  power  you  will  accept  the  bequest."  Vast 
opportunity — large  influence — great  power — he 
can  have  them  all  for  the  mere  signing  of  a  paper 
— without  worldng  for  them — without  all  the  dull 
preparatory  grind!  He  folded  the  letter  care- 
fully, locked  it  in  his  drawer,  put  away  the  minia- 
ture and  rose  to  go  to  the  hotel.  Instinctively 
he  reached  out  his  hand  to  turn  down  the  lamp 
as  he  always  did — an  oil-saving  habit  that  pov- 


78   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

erty  had  made  both  necessary  and  habitual  to  him 
— then  he  drew  back  his  hand  without  touching  it. 

"It  can  burn  to  blazes,"  he  said  aloud,  tensely, 
"I  won't  stoop  to  such  niggardly  straits  to-night! 
SIXTY  MILLION  DOLLARS!" 

He  ran  down  the  steps,  hurried  out  into  the 
starlit  night  and  walked  rapidly  to  the  hotel:  as 
he  walked  his  uncle 's  words  moved  in  his  brain  to 
the  rhythm  of  his  steps — "Vast  Opportunity, 
large  Influence,  great  Power"! 


CHAPTER  V 

THE  flush  of  dawn  is  in  the  sky,  the  lambent 
morning  star  shines  with  a  steady  glow,  the  sun 
is  heralded  upon  the  hill,  and  all  the  apple  or- 
chard is  tremulous  with  rosy  light.  The  little 
birds  are  stirring  in  their  nests;  from  bough  to 
bough  there  is  the  answering  "peep" — "peep." 

Through  the  orchard  comes  Marion,  dressed  in 
immaculate  white,  the  freshness  of  the  morning 
on  her  face  and  the  promise  of  the  morning  in 
her  eyes.  "Ah!"  she  said,  clasping  her  hands, 
"was  I  unmaidenly  yesterday  to  lift  the  veil  be- 
fore he  had  spoken?  No!  a  thousand  times,  no! 
— he  had  spoken! — what  are  words? — they  are 
only  the  sounds  to  echo  what  the  heart  has  al- 
ready said.  It  is  insincere  to  pretend !  It  would 
have  been  affectation,  petty  pretence  to  ignore  the 
reality  of  that  moment — just  because  Eben  inter- 
rupted the  mere  words.  He  loves  me !  He  loves 
me!  He  had  begun  to  tell  me  of  his  love — and  I 
let  him  see  my  love  before  he  spoke,  because  I 
wanted  to  reassure  him — I  wanted  to  break  down 
his  foolish,  chivalric  fears  for  me — fears  of  pov- 
erty and  hardship ! — that  is  what  a  girl  should  do 
—she  should  not  withhold  like  a  miser! — she 
should  help  a  man  to  see  the  truth, 

79 


I  love  him  and  he  loves  me — that  is  the  only 
truth!  I  understand — I  let  myself  understand!— 
that  is  the  emancipation  that  woman  needs — the 
straightforward  meeting  of  realities,  without  tire- 
some subterfuges — woman  is  always  hiding  her 
heart  and  she  should  be  free  to  show  it,  free  to  be 
herself,  when  she  is  sure  she  can  trust  the  man 
— and  Oh !  I  can  trust  John — he  is  so  splendid  !— 
honour  and  truth  are  in  his  eyes ! — I  was  myself 
yesterday:  I  have  kept  my  own  heart  hidden  so 
long — I  have  watched  the  brave,  generous  strug- 
gle between  his  love  for  me  and  what  he  felt  was 
his  duty  to  me!  But  he  didn't  know  me  as  well 
as  I  know  him.  I  wonder  if  any  man  ever  does 
know  any  woman  as  well  as  the  woman  knows  the 
man?  I  want  him  to  know  that  I  should  rather 
beg  from  door  to  door  with  him  than  live  in  a 
king's  palace  without  him."  She  gave  a  little 
low  laugh.  "He  said  I  am  made  for  a  king's  pal- 
ace! I  am  made  for  love!  0  dear  Sun,  hurry! 
He  will  not  be  late  to-day !  * ' 

Far  off  across  the  hill  she  saw  John  coming. 
Why  did  he  move  so  slowly?  As  he  neared  the 
orchard  the  sun  arose  in  all  its  majesty.  A  sweet 
shyness  fell  upon  Marion's  exalted  mood — but  the 
glory  of  the  sunrise  was  in  her  eyes  as  she  stood 
waiting.  John  came  nearer — nearer — she  could 
see  his  face! — her  hands  fell  to  her  sides,  her 
cheeks  grew  grey  as  burnt-out  ashes:  as  he  ap- 
proached her  there  was  a  constrained  air  about 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    81 

him,  an  awkwardness — if  such  a  word  could  ever 
be  applied  to  John:  with  conventional  formality 
he  lifted  his  hat,  his  voice  was  strained  almost  to 
the  breaking-point,  it  sounded  like  the  voice  of  a 
stranger,  it  was  as  though  he  were  floundering 
for  speech: 

"Good  morning,  Marion.  I  knew  you  would 
be  here — and  so — and  so — I  came." 

The  pupils  of  Marion's  eyes  dilated :  she  seemed 
like  a  flower  that  had  suddenly  been  blighted  by 
frost. 

"I  said  I  would  be  here,  John — at  sunrise." 

"Yes — I  know  you  did " 

He  was  evidently  embarrassed — and  embarrass- 
ment was  a  thing  that  she  had  never  seen  in  John 
before — not  in  all  the  years  of  their  comradeship 
— "and  I  am  glad  it  is  so  early  because  now  we 
can  talk  undisturbed.  Will  you  sit  down,  dear 
Friend — I  want  to  talk  with  you — I  have  a  great 
deal  to  say  to  you." 

Marion  sat  dazed  upon  the  grass. 

"You  and  I  have  always  been  friends,  Marion," 
John  began :  he  waited  for  Marion  to  speak :  she 
spoke  no  word.  After  a  moment  he  continued: 
"What  perfect  friends  we  have  been! — haven't 
we?  There  is  no  one  of  whom  I  am  so  fond  as  I 
am  of  you — I  have  been  devoted  to  you  since  you 
were  a  baby" — Marion  was  absolutely  silent — 
«but — but — I  must  leave  you,  my  Friend.  I  must 
go  away." 


82   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

Still  that  awful  silence  from  Marion :  John  with 
difficulty  groped  for  words: 

"I  say,  I  must  go  away— 

Finally  the  echo  of  the  sentence  came  back  to 
him  in  metallic  tones : 

"You  must  go  away?" 

"I  must  go  to  New  York " 

"You  said  yesterday  you  must  go — to  begin:" 
she  spoke  strangely. 

"Yes,  but  this  going  is  different — I  must  make 
great  sacrifices. ' ' 

"I  don't  understand." 

"My  uncle  John,  my  mother's  uncle— John 
Remington " 

What  had  seemed  a  straight  road  before  he 
came,  suddenly  seemed  a  crooked  one  very  difficult 
to  traverse;  John,  usually  so  glib  of  tongue,  so 
lightning  quick  of  thought,  found  his  tongue  and 
his  brain  to  all  intents  and  purposes  quite  para- 
lysed. 

"Yes?" 

"He  is  dead." 

"Yes?"  Marion  repeated  indifferently. 

John  felt  a  coward — an  entirely  new  sensation 
for  the  fearless  John — he  wanted  to  run,  but  now 
that  he  had  begun  he.  had  to  finish. 

"My  uncle — my  mother's  uncle — left  me  his 
money — it  is  a  great  fortune — a  very  great  for- 
tune— he  left  it  to  me  on  condition  that  I — live  a 
certain  life — a  life  that  he  has  planned  for 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    83 

John  found  it  more  and  more  difficult  to  talk 
against  the  deathly  silence  that  had  fallen  upon 
Marion. 

"Last  night  I  fought — I  struggled — I  was 
nearly  crazy — — " 

Again  the  dull  echo  of  his  own  words: 
"You  fought — you  struggled — you  were  nearly 
crazy — 

"I  mean — Oh! — you  know  what  I  mean." 

"Yes:  I  think  I  am  beginning  to  know  what 
you  mean." 

"I  wanted  to  tell  you — the  very  first  of  all " 

John  felt  a  sudden  loathing  of  himself:  Mari- 
on's eyes  had  begun  to  blaze  with  that  ominous 
blaze  which  John  had  known  since  childhood. 

"And  so — "  he  tried  to  continue. 

Marion  rose  from  the  grass.  "And  so — you 
are  going — going  to  inherit  the  property  of  your 
uncle  John — your  mother's  uncle — John  Reming- 
ton." 

In  her  tone  there  was  a  faint  shade  of  mimicry 
of  John's  words  a  moment  before,  but  she  smiled 
her  entrancing  smile,  shook  out  her  skirt,  gave  it 
a  little  feminine  smooth,  and  added  in  her  light, 
most  fascinating  way : 

"Thank  you  so  much  for  telling  me  first:  as 
you  say,  we  have  always  been  friends — dear 
friends !  I  am  glad  for  your  luck :  now  you  will 
have  the  wider  career  that  Father  and  I  have 
always  predicted  for  you.  I  hope  you  will  be  quite 
happy.  Good-bye." 


84   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

She  turned  to  go  and  blew  him  a  kiss  from  her 
finger-tips — such  a  kiss  as  she  often  blew  to  the 
little  children  who  adored  her. 

"Marion — wait — listen — I  want  to  talk  it  over 
with  you — I  have  not  said  anything  that  I  in- 
tended to  say.  I  haven't  yet  told  you  the  most 
important  things  of  all. ' ' 

Marion,  with  a  steady  hand,  brushed  back  the 
hair  that  had  blown  across  her  forehead  and 
looked  at  John  with  veiled  eyes.  Her  tone  was  as 
though  she  were  speaking  of  the  most  trivial  and 
incidental  thing  imaginable. 

"Not  now,  John.  I  am  awfully  sorry — but  I 
haven't  time.  Matilda  has  been  called  away;  I 
must  take  her  place;  I  am  the  dairy  maid  this 
morning.  I  will  tell  you  a  secret,  John — but  you 
must  not  tell." 

She  came  nearer  to  him  and  held  up  her  finger 
with  bewitching  fascination — he  caught  the  fra- 
grance from  her  fair  young  body,  he  felt  the  lure 
of  her  charm. 

"I  will  tell  you  a  great  secret  because  you 
are  my  friend — because — we  have  always  been 
friends! — a  dairy  maid  must  skim  the  milk  just  as 
the  sun  rises:  if  she  waits  too  long,  mischievous 
fairies  will  turn  the  cream  sour — think  of  that, 
John !  think  of  turning  cream  sour !  I  will  see  you 
again  to  say  good-bye." 

Before  he  could  speak,  before  he  could  reach 
out  his  hand  to  stay  her,  she  tripped  away  with 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    85 

her  light,  fleet  step,  singing  in  her  clear,  love- 
compelling  voice  a  glad  morning  song : 

"The  rosy  heralds  of  the  sky 

Have  banished  sombre  night, 
The  sun  in  splendour  mounts  on  high 
To  flood  the  world  with  light. 

"The  banners  of  the  golden  morn 

Lead  on — a  magic  way: 
My  happy  heart  goes  forth,  newborn, 
To  greet  the  glad  new  day!" 

John  stood  as  though  he  were  an  inanimate 
thing,  looking  after  the  graceful  figure  with  her 
proud  young  head,  high-lifted.  He  stood  silent 
until  her  voice  had  died  into  the  distance  and 
then  he  said  huskily : 

"And  I  DABED  to  think  she  might  love  me!" 


CHAPTER  VI 

AN  hour  later  Marion  came  back  to  the  orchard : 
she  walked  with  slow  steps,  all  the  colour  had  gone 
from  her  cheeks,  even  the  shining  of  her  hair  was 
shadowed.  It  was  scarcely  six  o'clock,  no  one 
was  yet  astir  except  the  birds  singing  their  morn- 
ing song,  and  the  little  newborn  insects  flying 
in  the  sun  and  scurrying  through  the  grass.  Mar- 
ion went  to  her  favourite  tree,  sat  down  beneath 
its  shade,  clasped  her  hands  and  looked  across  the 
orchard :  in  her  eyes  was  a  smouldering  fire.  Since 
she  had  left  John  an  hour  before,  she  had  been 
walking  fast  and  furiously  up  and  down  the  moun- 
tainside: she  had  gone  like  a  wild  thing,  any- 
where— anywhere — looking  neither  to  the  right 
nor  to  the  left:  she  had  shut  all  thought  and  all 
remembrance  out  of  her  mind,  she  only  wanted  to 
walk,  walk,  walk — run,  run,  run,  through  the  trees 
and  over  the  fresh  grass,  the  stubble  and  the 
rocks:  the  exercise  had  brought  no  colour  to  her 
cheeks;  she  was  deathly  pale:  but  her  fury  had 
exhausted  itself,  she  was  like  a  wounded  doe  that 
had  been  running  fast  for  shelter,  and  had 
dropped,  at  last,  far  spent. 

"I  must  think!"  she  said  tensely,  "I  must  think 
what  has  happened  to  me:  what  am  I  to  do!  I 

86 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    87 

must  find  some  way  out !  I  will  not,  /  will  not  let 
any  man  make  a  wreck  of  my  life !  I  will  pretend 
to  myself  that  it  is  not  true,  that  it  has  not  hap- 
pened ! — I  will  pretend  that  no  man  could  do  such 
a  dastardly  thing  to  me — to  me,  Marion  Meredith ! 
He  must  never  know  that  I  know  what  I  do  know 
— -"he  must  never  know  that  I  understood  what  I 
did  understand — I  must  pretend  it  was  not  so — 
pretend  we  have  been  only  friends — only  friends ! 
that  is  the  reason  women  pretend — because  men 

are  so — so !  Oh,  it  must  not  be  possible — it 

must  not  be  conceivable  that  any  man  could  make 
me  think  that  he  wanted  and  intended  to  ask  me 
to  be  his  wife — his  wife — Ah !  dear  God ! — and  then 
give  me  up — for  MONEY! — No — no — it  is  not 
true." 

She  drew  a  shuddering  breath — she  was  silent 
a  moment:  then  she  clinched  her  hands,  threw 
back  her  head,  and  spoke  proudly :  * '  There  is  one 
thing  I  can  do — I  will  do — I  can  hide  it — from 
Father — from  the  girls — from  every  one:  no  one 
shall  ever  see  it — no  one  shall  ever  know  it — my 
eyes  shall  never  betray  me — I  will  never  cry — 
never — never ! ' ' 

Whereupon  she  swayed,  threw  herself  forward 
on  the  grass  upon  her  folded  arms  and  cried  as 
though  her  heart  would  break:  great  sobs  shook 
her  frame  from  head  to  foot.  Tears  and  sobs 
were  altogether  a  new  thing  to  her. 

Another  hour  passed,  and  still  Marion  Mere- 


88   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

dith  lay  in  her  Gethsemane :  and  Nature  did  not 
heed  Her  child.  The  birds  sang  on  as  gayly  as 
though  the  world  were  glad,  the  sunshine  sparkled 
through  the  pink-white  boughs  as  though  every 
one  in  the  world  were  happy,  the  little  live  in- 
sects of  Spring  crawled  busily  in  the  grass  where 
Marion  lay  prone. 

For  ever  after  that  hour  Marion  was  a  different 
and  a  stronger  being. 

A  glad,  blithe  creature,  she  had  turned  to  take 
her  royal  crown,  and  tragedy  had  touched  her 
with  an  iron  finger :  she  arose  a  woman  who  had 
received  her  sacrament — the  baptism  of  woman's 
tears. 

It  was  late,  and  her  father  was  at  breakfast 
when  Marion  entered  the  dining-room.  His  old 
and  weary  heart  was  moved  at  the  new  tenderness 
he  felt  in  her  caress :  he  did  not  analyse  it — but 
he  was  conscious  of  it :  that  caress  had  a  touch  of 
the  maternal  in  it;  she  was  saying  to  herself: 

"He  is  all  alone  in  the  world,  without  his  wife 
— without  any  one  but  me !  How  careless  I  have 
been !  I  had  forgotten  that ;  I  never  thought,  be- 
fore, what  it  must  be  to  be  lonely." 


CHAPTER  VII 

Elmcrof t  was  agog !  The  news  spread  with 
the  rapidity  of  lightning:  it  was  received  with 
that  intense  personal  interest  which  small  com- 
munities feel  for  one  of  their  members  in  dramatic 
moments. 

The  conditions  of  the  will  were  as  yet  not  known, 
but  it  was  known  that  John  had  suddenly  and  as- 
toundingly  become  the  possessor  of  many  millions. 
John,  of  course,  avoided  mentioning  the  conditions 
which  limited  the  good  that  had  come  to  him; 
and  Marion,  for  reasons  of  her  own,  did  not  speak 
of  it,  even  to  her  father.  Eben  was  a  steel  trap ; 
what  was  caught  in  his  mind  never  came  out. 

When  the  will  should  be  probated  the  facts 
would  undoubtedly  be  known,  for  curiosity  would 
ferret  out  every  detail;  but  for  the  present,  the 
main  fact  was  sufficient :  one  of  the  Elmcroft  boys 
had  received  a  great  fortune,  and  Elmcroft  was 
pleased  and  proud — and  treated  him  accordingly. 

John  did  not  have  much  time  to  enjoy  the  ex- 
pressions of  the  generous  good-will  and  genuine 
rejoicing  that  came  to  him,  for  he  was  very  busy : 
he  had  to  make  numberless  trips  to  New  York 
and  did  an  amount  of  writing  and  received  an 
amount  of  mail  that  staggered  the  Elmcroft  post- 
master. 


90    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

At  the  end  of  the  month  all  his  local  affairs  were 
settled:  and  he  was  packed,  preparatory  to  leav- 
ing. He  had  not  seen  Marion  to  speak  with  her 
since  the  morning  in  the  orchard.  Whether  this 
was  by  accident  or  by  design  on  her  part  he  could 
not  be  sure. 

He  knew  that  young  Waller  was  dashing  around 
in  his  motor  car,  taking  the  men  and  the  girls  for 
long  rides  and  that  Marion  usually  formed  one  of 
the  party:  for  this  he  felt  distinctly  grateful; 
it  soothed  his  conscience  when  that  conscience 
troubled  him:  doubtless  Marion  did  not  in  the 
least  care  for  him;  probably  she  never  had,  and 
his  self-reproach  for  a  subtle,  imaginary  wrong 
which  he  had  done  was  wholly  unnecessary ;  Mar- 
ion had  been  but  gracious  to  his  May  mood  and 
responsive  to  the  hour,  as  she  always  was:  a 
quick  sympathetic  response  to  another's  mood 
was  one  of  Marion's  chief  charms. 

John's  mood  of  May  madness  was  now  lost  in 
the  exciting  onrush  of  events,  the  thrill  of  stimu- 
lating anticipation  and  new  adventure  and  the 
stirring  of  a  momentary  self-reproach  was  past. 

The  day  came  at  last — the  day  for  the  break 
between  his  old  life  and  his  new  life. 

"Well,  good-bye,  Eben."  John  stood  waiting 
for  the  trap,  his  suit-case  locked  and  lying  at  his 
feet:  Eben,  ostentatiously  busy  with  a  rose  vine 
— cutting  off  the  faded  roses  with  an  exaggerated 
energy — was  silent. 

' '  Aren  't  you  going  to  bid  me  good-bye  ! ' ' 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    91 

" Good-bye,"  Eben  mumbled,  string  in  mouth. 

"Stop  fussing,  Eben!  Give  me  these  last  mo- 
ments!" 

John  went  up  to  him  and  pulled  him  away  from 
the  rose  vine  with  a  dash  of  his  imperious  boy- 
ishness: as  he  did  so  he  saw  Eben's  face. 

"  Eben !    What 's  the  matter  I    Are  you  ill  I " 

"I've  got  a  touch  of  liver,  I  guess,"  Eben  an- 
swered gruffly:  "I  didn't  sleep  none  last  night: 
I've  been  off  my  feed  for  a  week." 

John  looked  at  him  anxiously. 

"You  are  ill;  you  look  positively  green :  I  won't 
go  to-day." 

"Oh,  don't  you  bother  'bout  me.  I  need  a  dose 
of  calomel  an'  I'll  be  all  right." 

"Take  good  care  of  yourself,  Eben:  come  to 
New  York  next  week  to  see  the  house.  Always 
be  sure  to  let  me  know  if  there  is  anything  you 
want.  There  comes  the  trap ! ' ' 

Eben  busied  himself  putting  the  suit-case  into 
the  trap  and  when  John  took  his  grimy  hand 
to  say  a  final  good-bye  Eben  pointed  to  the  view : 

"Take  yer  last  look  at  them  hills." 

Who  would  have  credited  the  bluff  old  farmer 
with  such  diplomacy  and  finesse !  While  John  was 
looking  at  the  hills  he  could  not  look  at  Eben: 
therefore,  he  did  not  see  the  rough  coat-sleeve 
pass  over  the  eyes  that  were  dimmed  for  one  of  the 
first  times  in  history. 

"Good-bye,"  John  said  affectionately. 

"Good-bye,  Meester  John." 


92    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

John  jumped  into  the  trap:  as  he  started  he 
shouted  another  affectionate  farewell  to  Eben. 
When  John  was  out  of  sight,  Eben  went  into  the 
barn,  banged  the  door  with  emphasis  and  bolted 

it  on  the  inside. 

• 

As  John  neared  the  picturesque  Green  which 
lay  around  the  Station,  he  saw  that  it  was  bright 
with  summer  muslins,  gay  ribbons,  red  sweaters 
and  party-coloured  caps  of  golfers  and  of  tennis 
players.  All  his  young  Elmcroft  friends,  with 
whom  he  had  grown  to  manhood,  were  gathered  to 
give  him  a  send-off.  His  quick  eyes  searched  the 
group. 

Yes,  there  was  Marion,  looking  like  a  bright 
June  flower.  She  wore  a  crisp  white  embroidered 
muslin,  touched  with  rosy  ribbons,  and  a  large 
picture  hat  with  a  wreath  of  moss  rose-buds 
around  the  crown.  He  had  never  seen  her  look 
more  lovely  and,  as  the  trap  drove  up,  her  radiant 
smile  brought  the  bewitching  dimple  to  her  mouth. 

John  was  aware  that  in  the  group  was  * '  that  city 
fellow  Waller:"  he  was  not  of  the  Elmcroft  set, 
and  had  no  common  interests  with  the  young  men 
and  maidens  of  the  Village :  he  affected,  however, 
as  it  were,  a  collateral  interest  with  the  party — 
this  was  significant. 

There  was  much  merriment  and  much  talking 
and  eager  expressions  of  goodwill  as  John  joined 
the  group :  the  farewells  and  the  good  wishes  were 
hearty  and  sincere:  Billy  Waller  came  forward 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    93 

with  polite  interest :  he  was  unusually  cordial  be- 
cause of  his  delight  in  having  John  out  of  the 
running,  and  also  because  he  saw  John  now  in 
new  perspective.  At  last  came  the  word  with 
Marion. 

For  a  fleeting  instant  John  winced,  but  Marion 
put  out  her  hand  with  frank  friendliness. 

" Good-bye,  John,"  she  said  in  a  tone  that  every 
one  could  hear.  "To  have  good  fortune  come  to 
you  is  the  very  nicest  thing  that  ever  happened 
in  Elmcroft.  Father  and  I  always  predicted  it, 
you  know." 

"Thank  you." 

John  lifted  his  hat.  For  one  moment  he  looked 
into  her  eyes,  but  they  were  unbetraying. 

"Father  enjoyed  your  visit  so  much  yesterday," 
she  continued;  "he  was  most  enthusiastic  about 
you  when  I  returned :  he  said  some  really  very  nice 
things:  I  was  motoring:  I  was  so  sorry  to  miss 
you." 

Before  he  had  time  for  more  than  another  brief 
word  of  thanks  the  call  came  from  the  conductor 
and  John,  with  the  troop  of  gay  youths  and  maid- 
ens at  his  heels  shouting  farewells,  had  just  time 
to  board  the  train.  He  stood  on  the  platform  as 
the  train  steamed  away,  and,  looking  back,  his  last 
picture  was  of  Marion  laughing  and  gazing  up 
into  the  face  of  Billy  Waller  who  had  joined  her, 
and  was  bending  towards  her  with  what  John 
called,  "that  proprietary  air  which  is  such  a 
wretched  habit  of  the  city  men." 


94    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

John  was  glad  that  he  had  had  the  opportunity 
to  observe  this  species  in  the  summer  hotels:  he 
would  have  a  care  what  manners  to  avoid  in  his 
new  life.  Then  he  fell  to  thinking  of  the  opulent 
future  to  which  he  was  hastening. 

Before  he  knew  it,  he  was  in  New  York — the 
home  of  his  maternal  ancestors.  In  the  past, 
whenever  he  had  been  in  New  York,  he  had  always 
felt  himself  a  stranger,  an  alien:  now  as  he  en- 
tered the  great  City,  he  felt  himself  a  part  of  its 
life:  he  felt  that  he  had  an  inherited  right  and 
claim  to  its  historic  traditions  and  to  its  majesty. 
Thus  quickly  does  the  mind  readjust  itself  to  new 
conditions. 

Heretofore,  he  had  felt  that  he  was  a  Wright, 
whose  forebears  had  all  been  farmers :  now  he  felt 
that  he  was  a  Remington  whose  forebears  had 
helped  to  make  the  mighty  City,  with  its  wealth, 
its  splendour,  its  progress  and  its  hectic  move- 
ment, its  high  tension  and  its  electric  forces.  To 
his  thought,  heretofore,  his  mother  had  been  a 
lovely  flower  that  had  been  grafted  accidentally 
upon  the  sturdy  soil  of  the  Wright  family:  now 
to  his  thought — as  he  entered  her  city — to  take  his 
place  in  her  mother's  home — his  father  had  been 
the  incident  that  had  come  into  the  life  of  his 
lovely  mother.  It  was  to  her  and  to  her  family— 
the  notable  family  of  Remington — to  whom  he 
should  trace  his  life  and  its  traditions.  The  feel- 
ing which  had  flamed  into  sudden  decision,  as  he 
had  walked  to  the  hotel  for  his  final  interview 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    95 

with  Mr.  Grimes,  found  new  justification  with 
every  hour.  After  all,  was  it  not  a  family  duty  to 
take  the  money! 

When  he  had  been  in  New  York  a  few  weeks, 
with  his  flexible  mind  and  volatile  temperament, 
he  knew  that  was  his  home,  that,  by  right,  he  had 
always  belonged  there:  and  that  his  previous  life 
had  been  an  exile — merely  a  time  of  study  and 
discipline  to  fit  him  for  his  rightful,  his  appointed 
place. 

The  millions  that  his  uncle  had  left  him  were 
only  a  part  of  the  inheritance  into  which  he  en- 
tered. In  the  swirling  onrush  of  things  new,  de- 
manding and  exciting,  he  almost  forgot  Elmer  oft, 
its  life  and  its  happenings. 

But  he  was  not  forgotten  by  Elmcroft — news  of 
him  was  the  excitement  for  many  days  to  come: 
his  future,  his  career,  his  present  life  and  past 
purposes  were  the  discussion  at  many  gatherings 
of  men  and  maidens.  * 

"Well,  there  is  one  thing  that's  as  plain  as  a 
pike,"  said  snapping  black-eyed  Hattie  Burns — 
the  gossip  of  Elmcroft — to  her  intimate  friend, 
'  *  and  that  is  the  affair  between  Marion  Meredith 
and  John  Wright.  Did  you  see  their  good-bye?" 

' '  Yes,  I  saw  it.    Some  people  think  she  got  left. ' ' 

' '  Not  much !  As  I  say,  it 's  as  plain  as  plain  that 
there  is  nothing  in  it:  if  she'd  got  left  she'd  have 
been  terribly  huffy — Marion  has  a  peppery  tem- 
per, you  know — but  she  was  perfectly  lovely  to 
him !  They  were  just  good  friends,  and  there  has 


never  been  any  love-making  between  them:  I'm 
certain  sure  of  that,  now. ' ' 

11  Perhaps  she  refused  him  before  he  got  rich." 

''Not  on  your  life !  Men  don't  ask  girls  they've 
known  always  to  marry  them :  men  like  new  things 
— especially  John  Wright;  he  always  was  daft 
about  anything  new. ' ' 

"John  used  to  look  at  Marion  as  if  he  loved 
her." 

"  Rubbish !  He  looked  exactly  the  same  way  at 
everything  lovely — and  Marion's  awfully  pretty, 
you  know! — John's  crazy  about  pretty  things — I 
have  seen  him  look  at  the  old  sunset  heaps  and 
heaps  of  times  with  that  same  look  on  his  face, 
and  he  wasn't  in  love  with  the  sunset ! — and  when 
that  fool  lecturer  was  here,  last  year,  he  looked  at 
him  just  the  same  when  he  read  that  poetry  stuff 
I  couldn't  understand  a  word  of.  And  I  have  seen 
John  look  like  that — just  the  way  he  looked  at 
Marion — often  and  often  when  he  was  reading  a 
book  all  by  himself." 

"I  think  John  Wright  was  awfully  nice,  don't 
you?" 

"You  bet  he  was — we  shall  miss  him  a  lot." 

"He  was  always  so  polite.  Say,  we  are  talking 
about  him  just  as  if  he  were  dead. ' ' 

"Well,  he  is  dead  to  us,"  Hattie  sighed. 

"Don't  you  think  he'll  ever  come  back?" 

"What  will  he  want  to  come  back  to  this  dull 
place  for?  They  say  his  house  is  most  as  big  as 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    97 

the  church  and  that  he  eats  off  gold  and  silver  and 
drinks  out  of  crystal  goblets." 

'  *  Mercy !  I  have  eaten  with  him  lots  of  times  off 
of  tin  and  drunk  water  out  of  his  cap.  Do  you 
remember  at  picnics  how  he  used  to  put  fresh 
leaves  in  his  cap  before  he  would  let  us  drink?" 

1 '  Yes,  wasn  't  it  funny — and  nice  ? ' ' 

"He  was  awfully  neat  and  particular  about 
things :  say,  he 's  terribly  clever :  Marion  says  the 
thing  that  she's  sorry  about  is  that  he  will  stop 
reading  and  studying  now." 

"Why  should  he  stop  reading  and  studying?" 

' '  He  won 't  have  time :  he  will  have  to  take  care 
of  his  money." 

' '  Think  of  having  so  much  money  that  you  have 
to  take  care  of  it :  isn  't  it  funny  ?  We  have  to  take 
care  because  we  haven't  got  it." 

"So  do  we." 

"John  was  always  awfully  nice,  but  don't  you 
think  he  was  a  little  queer?"  added  Hattie,  after 
a  pause. 

"If  you  mean  by  'queer'  different  from  other 
men,  I  should  say  he  was." 


CHAPTER   VIII 

MORE  than  two  years  have  passed  since  the  day 
that  John  steamed  away  from  the  little  Station 
of  Elmcroft. 

It  had  been  a  wonderful  time  for  John,  exciting, 
exhilarating,  full  of  feverish  pleasure;  even  his 
flexible  mind  had  had  to  sharpen  its  agility  to  keep 
pace  with  the  new  impressions,  new  experiences 
and  new  adjustments,  the  opening  out  of  a  life, 
before  unknown  to  him,  the  unfolding  of  a  new 
order  of  existence,  which,  hitherto,  he  had  seen 
only  in  books :  the  time  had  passed  so  swiftly  and 
confusedly  that  he  had  had  a  sense  of  having  to 
draw  quick  breaths  to  keep  pace  with  the  onrush  of 
events. 

His  old  familiar  self  had  not  had  a  moment  in 
which  to  assert  itself.  He  had  a  dim  and  curious 
feeling  of  having  left  that  self  in  the  little  Village 
of  Elmcroft — a  feeling  that  he  had  brought  only 
his  senses  and  his  mind  to  New  York:  but  those 
he  undoubtedly  had  brought  and  they  had  been 
so  excitedly  busy,  so  fascinatingly  diverted,  so 
constantly  amused  and  interested,  that  he  had 
not  had  time  to  miss  his  familiar  spirit.  His 
senses  had  had  satisfactions  of  which  he  had 
never  dreamed  in  his  luxury-denied  life :  his  mind 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    99 

had  had  avenues  opened  to  it  faster  than  it  could 
travel  them :  the  exhilaration  of  handling  large  af- 
fairs, the  sensuous  delight  of  his  staggering  for- 
tune, the  delirium  of  being  able  to  do  what  he 
wanted  to  do — to  give  what  he  wanted  to  give — to 
buy  what  he  wanted  to  buy:  the  keen  joy  in  pic- 
tures and  in  sumptuous  books,  the  indulgence  in 
music,  and  even  the  pleasure  in  physical  com- 
forts had  stimulated  his  impressionable  nature: 
the  men  he  met  had  opened  new  worlds  of 
thought  to  him:  the  beautiful  women — with  their 
bright  wit,  their  conscious  air  of  having  known 
everything  from  the  beginning — had  intoxicated 
his  senses.  The  two  years  had  been  a  swift  suc- 
cession of  new  impressions :  a  vigorous  effort  at 
new  adjustments,  and  eager  experimenting  in 
large  opportunity.  Now,  at  last,  he  had  become 
fully  established  in  his  new  life  and  place. 

He  had  been  a  marked  success  from  the  start. 
His  looks  and  his  bearing  were  a  greater  asset 
than  his  millions ;  but  his  millions  had  given  him 
the  opportunity  to  make  a  background  to  his  per- 
sonality and  had  enabled  him  to  express  the  re- 
sult of  his  years  of  self -culture  in  his  own  spon- 
taneous way.  He  knew  enough  of  the  world  by 
reading  and  by  tradition  to  make  no  fatal  social 
mistakes,  no  jarring  experiments,  but  he  knew  so 
little  of  the  world  by  experience  that  there  was 
an  original  and  daring  method  in  his  self-expres- 
sion which  gave  him  a  peculiar  charm :  there  was 
a  certain  straightforward  frankness  about  him 


100    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

which  protected  him  from  the  result  of  his  ignor- 
ance of  the  world :  no  one  was  tempted  to  set  traps 
to  discomfit  him:  it  was  the  impulse  of  the  men 
and  women  he  met  to  give  him  the  benefit  of  every 
help,  both  direct  and  indirect,  to  aid  him  on  his 
way  to  what  they  considered  must  be  the  high  goal 
of  his  desire.  With  his  quick  adaptability  and 
keen  cleverness,  he  soon  learned  the  manner,  the 
forms,  the  tricks  of  society  and  the  world,  and 
developed  the  latent  social  power  which  was  an 
inheritance  from  his  mother — who  had  been  one 
of  the  best-born  and  most  popular  girls  in  New 
York.  He  had  a  distinguished  air — but  he  had 
no  airs,  and  the  difference  between  an  air  and  airs 
is  the  difference  between  ozone  and  the  malarial 
atmosphere  of  the  bogs. 

What  was  his  goal?  Naturally,  the  men  and 
women  about  him  imagined  it  to  be  the  desire  to 
become  a  finished  product  of  the  elect,  a  leader  in 
the  smart  world  of  fashion,  and  they  helped  him 
to  that  end.  John  had  no  such  definite  desire :  he 
did  not  yet  know  what  ultimate  he  did  desire :  his 
mind  had  not  as  yet  outlined  any  plan,  he  had  not 
seen  beyond  the  absorbing  interest  of  new  condi- 
tions and  new  environments:  his  old  desires  had 
all  been  intellectual — ambitions  of  mental  growth 
and  mental  achievement:  his  desire  for  fortune 
had  been  but  a  desire  for  fuller  opportunity :  and 
he  had  not  as  yet  readjusted  his  scheme,  his  dream 
of  life,  nor  formulated  his  new  goal ;  it  would  have 
been  impossible  in  so  short  a  time,  with  distrac- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    101 

tions  of  every  kind  interrupting  him  and  pressing 
upon  him  from  every  quarter.  He  was  still  going 
with  the  tide  and  he  fitted  himself  with  his  char- 
acteristic pliant  readiness  to  the  swift  current 
on  which  he  was  borne:  he  had  the  natural 
adaptability  to  do  this  in  the  most  effective  way : 
he  brought  the  same  intellect  which  he  had  brought 
to  bear  upon  intellectual  matters  to  bear  upon 
social  questions. 

He  did  not  know  how  to  dress  as  became  his 
position — but  he  knew  that  he  did  not  know,  and 
that  was  the  next  best  thing.  He  consulted  his 
old  college  friend,  Ted  Bemsen,  with  frank  ques- 
tions as  to  the  best  tailor  in  New  York:  then  he 
went  to  that  tailor  and  put  himself  in  his  hands, 
ordering  so  lavishly  that  the  tailor  thought  it 
well  worth  his  while  to  produce  the  best  re- 
sults possible.  Soon  John  Remington  Wright 
was  one  of  the  best  dressed  men  in  New  York: 
and  his  native  freedom  of  motion,  which  came 
from  life  in  the  open,  gave  the  finishing  quality  to 
his  well-cut  clothes,  taking  from  them  the  turn 
of  the  smart  tailor  shop,  which  so  often  clings  to 
the  clothes  of  men,  and  subordinating  them  to  his 
own  personality.  He  was  clever  enough  to  keep 
his  simplicity  of  manner,  after  he  had  mastered 
the  technique  of  the  social  code  and  learned  the 
conduct  of  the  new  world:  thus  he  struck  a  new 
note  in  the  sophisticated  atmosphere  around  him : 
but  there  was  a  certain  masculine  strength  about 
him — both  physical  and  mental — which  gave  this 


102    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

simplicity  a  virile  quality.  He  was  unspoiled,  it 
is  true,  but  this  does  not  mean  that  he  was  uncon- 
scious: he  knew,  with  intuitive  worldly  wisdom, 
that  his  naturalness  and  lack  of  affectation  were 
an  added  asset — the  asset  of  originality  which 
makes  success. 

With  this  simplicity  he  had,  also,  an  intellectual 
fastidiousness  in  art,  in  taste  and  in  breeding. 
Music  and  art  had  long  been  to  him  delights: 
between  the  covers  of  the  books  he  read  he  knew 
the  best,  theoretically,  and  in  this  hour  of  oppor- 
tunity he  surrounded  himself  with  only  the  best — 
the  best  music  and  the  best  art.  He  had  a  slight 
air  of  the  foreigner — which  gave  him  great  charm 
for  those  who  met  him :  this  simply  means  that,  to 
the  trained  eye,  he  seemed  a  little  new  to  his  sur- 
roundings: one  was  conscious  that  he  had  had 
other  advantages  than  the  restricted  limitations 
of  New  York:  back  of  his  life — as  he  was  living 
it  now — were  apparently  hours  of  leisure  and  cul- 
ture, which  had  stamped  indelibly  their  impress 
on  his  mind  and  on  his  manner:  whether  those 
hours  of  leisure  and  culture  had  been  in  some  old- 
world  capitol  or  in  the  world  of  books,  in  some  an- 
cient city  or  in  the  leisure  of  the  free  and  open 
country,  did  not  so  much  matter — the  result  of 
it  was  there:  he  readily,  even  eagerly,  adapted 
himself  to  the  current  on  which  he  was  borne,  but, 
in  the  background,  there  was  a  flavour,  a  haunt- 
ing flavour,  of  something  larger  and  fuller  than 
that  current.  He  was  elected  to  the  most  exclusive 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    103 

clubs  and  he  met  the  men  in  a  frank,  straightfor- 
ward way  which  won  their  respect,  and  made  them 
unconsciously  feel  that  a  fresh  breeze  had  blown 
into  the  stuffy  club  rooms:  they  all  liked  him:  he 
had  an  instinctive  sense  of  fitness  which  kept  him 
from  making  any  false  step. 

John  enjoyed  his  new  life  with  keen  zest 
and  spontaneous  abandon:  it  was  a  refreshment 
to  be  free  from  the  hampering  toil  of  daily  grind 
and  the  worry  of  petty  problems — as  to  how  to 
make  ends  meet,  the  forthcoming  of  the  interest- 
money,  and  the  nervous  watching  of  the  crops  and 
the  farm  products  upon  which  that  interest-money 
depended.  It  was  a  riot  of  pleasure  to  gratify 
his  fastidious  taste  and  his  starved  artistic  sense. 

For  two  years  he  took  no  initiative — he  made 
no  move:  then  he  spent  three  months  in  Europe 
to  complete  his  equipment  as  he  had  planned  it: 
he  could  not  stay  longer,  because  he  was  bound 
by  the  will  to  attend  personally  to  the  estate:  he 
had  to  hasten  back  to  his  tasks  and  work  extra 
hours  to  make  up  for  his  vacation:  for  the  first 
time  he  found  his  duties  irksome. 

When  he  returned  from  Europe  he  had  made 
over  the  old  Remington  house  somewhat  to  his 
taste.  Of  course,  to  have  satisfied  his  architec- 
tural ideal  he  would  have  gone  uptown  and  built 
a  new  house  after  his  own  concept  of  what  a 
house  should  be,  but  there  was  something  in- 
tensely gratifying  to  his  quickly  developing  social 
sense  in  living  in  the  house  that  had  been  in  his 


104    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

family  for  generations:  his  versatile  mind  and 
his  pliant  temperament  already  had  accepted  the 
thought  that  he  was  really  a  Eemington. 

When  the  old  house  had  been  remodelled  and 
refurnished  to  his  fancy  he  had  an  established 
sense  of  home.  Now  he  could  stop  and  draw  his 
breath:  he  could  strike  his  chord  in  the  social 
world — and  he  struck  it  with  no  uncertain  hand. 

Through  the  past  months  there  had  often 
been  undercurrents  of  remembrance  and  sharp 
flashes  of  recollection :  sometimes  there  had  been 
moments  of  self-reproach  about  Marion:  but  for 
any  shade  of  self-reproach  the  argument  was  al- 
ways ready  to  the  contention  of  his  conscience. 

After  all  it  was  evident  that  there  had  been 
no  reason  for  fear  nor  for  discomfiture  in  that 
May  episode :  Marion  did  not  care — it  was  entirely 
evident  she  did  not  care — she  had  not  even  under- 
stood his  feeling:  it  was  only  the  woman  in  her 
which  had  vibrated  to  his  mood  that  evening  in 
the  orchard:  and  his  confusion  and  embarrass- 
ment, when  he  thought  that  he  had  hurt  her,  had 
been  altogether  an  exaggeration  born  of  his  chiv- 
alry, and  the  sensitiveness  of  his  inner  conscious- 
ness— being  so  near  to  mystic  things. 

How  coolly  and  indifferently  she  had  laughingly 
left  him  that  morning  at  sunrise  when  his  whole 
being  was  shaken  with  chivalrous  shame  at  the 
fear  of  having  offended  her — and  how  coldly  in- 
different she  had  been  to  his  going  away,  motoring 


with  that  Waller  man  all  the  last  days  of  his  stay 
in  Elmcroft! 

If,  on  that  fateful  night — when  he  had  his  tussle 
with  himself  about  accepting  his  fortune — there 
had  come  to  him  a  suggestion  of  her  surrender 
it  had  been  quickly  contradicted:  if  he  had  ever 
had  any  doubt  whatsoever  of  the  state  of  her 
heart  toward  him,  her  cool,  casual  and  indifferent 
farewell  had  convinced  him  that  her  sentiment 
for  him  had  been  but  the  aftermath  of  childhood — 
the  romance  but  a  fairy  tale. 

At  least  for  the  sake  of  their  long  comradeship 
and  friendship  she  might  have  found  a  few  brief 
minutes  to  talk  with  him  before  he  left  Elmcroft, 
to  go  over  his  plans  with  him  and  look  with  him 
through  new  vistas  opening  before  him.  Thus  his 
thoughts  born  of  the  injustice  of  egotism  and  the 
blindness  of  selfishness  met  his  occasional  twinges 
of  conscience. 

And  he  had  fresh  evidences  to  prove  that  there 
was  cause  for  complaint  on  his  part.  He  wrote 
several  letters  to  Marion,  which  were  models  of 
construction  and  discretion,  dwelling  upon  old 
days  and  old  ways :  they  were  charming  and  clever 
letters  diplomatically  emphasising  their  friend- 
ship :  but  although  her  answers  were  courteous  to 
the  point  of  precision,  they  were  brief  and  un- 
responsive, making  John  so  uncomfortable  that 
his  letters  grew  less  and  less  frequent:  finally 
they  stopped  entirely;  and  as  it  was  his  habit  to 
turn  his  back  upon  unpleasant  sensations  when  he 


106    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

could,  all  communication  with  the  Parsonage  soon 
ceased,  with  the  exception  of  magnificent  presents 
that  were  occasionally  sent  to  Dr.  Meredith :  these 
presents  were  always  so  formally  and  coldly  ac- 
knowledged, that  if  John  had  not  known  Marion's 
character  so  well  he  would  have  thought  she  had 
told  her  father  the  story  of  his  behaviour:  but 
though  old  Dr.  Meredith  might  be  ignorant  of  facts 
and  circumstances,  he  needed  no  telling  when  his 
daughter  had  been  hurt. 

As  time  went  on  the  memory  of  Marion  receded 
more  and  more  into  the  background  of  John's 
thoughts. 

His  hours  were  full,  his  life  was  superficially 
dramatic,  his  imagination  was  excited :  he  had  be- 
come the  fashion  of  the  hour. 

When  the  old  substantial  Remington  house  had 
been  readjusted  to  his  liking,  he  began  a  series 
of  entertainments :  these  entertainments  were  ex- 
clusive, which  added  to  their  vogue :  he  did  not  try 
to  be  clever  in  this  particular:  he  was  not  cal- 
culatingly  shrewd,  neither  was  he  in  the  least 
snobbish;  it  was  a  mere  indulgence  of  a  marked 
phase  of  his  temperament :  to  that  temperament, 
combined  as  it  was  of  many  different  elements, 
selection  had  always  been  natural,  in  whatever 
sphere  he  happened  to  be  moving  at  the  time: 
even  as  a  little  boy,  when  he  gathered  shells  or 
pebbles,  he  would  always  pick  out  those  which  he 
considered  the  smoothest  and  prettiest  of  their 
kind  and  would  play  only  with  those. 


With  his  books,  it  was  the  same :  he  selected  the 
best  for  his  own  special  books,  and  read  them 
over  and  over:  and  when  his  life  began  to  move 
in  channels  of  the  social  world,  he  instinctively 
selected  the  smartest,  the  most  attractive,  the  most 
finished  products  of  their  class.  There  was  no 
deliberation  in  this,  it  came  from  a  habit  of  mind. 
He,  who  two  years  ago,  knew  nothing  of  the  smart 
world  in  which  he  now  moved,  was,  perhaps  un- 
consciously, very  exclusive  in  that  world  and  by 
a  curious,  well-established  social  law,  the  more  ex- 
clusive he  was  the  more  sought  for  he  became. 
He  was  everywhere  a  most  welcome  guest;  in- 
vitations to  his  house  were  eagerly  desired,  deeply 
prized,  and  not  a  little  coveted. 

He  was  no  more  lacking  in  loyalty  and  the  finer 
shades  of  generosity,  that  his  Elmcroft  friends 
had  no  part  in  his  new  life,  than  a  swan,  which 
has  at  last  found  the  water,  is  to  be  blamed  if  it 
dips  and  swims  and  forgets  the  barnyard  fowls 
that  made  its  little  world  when  it  was  hemmed  in 
the  coop.  Although  John  had  always  been  courte- 
ous and  gracious  to  those  about  him,  he  had  little 
in  common  with  them:  he  had  always  felt  a 
smothered  impatience  at  the  life  of  the  Village. 
Dr.  Meredith  and  Marion  had  been  the  only  out- 
lets and  satisfaction  of  those  Elmcroft  days :  these 
two  were  the  only  ones  whom  he  had  really  cared 
to  see  in  Elmcroft,  and  now  it  was  these  two  whom 
he  desired  not  to  see:  they  would  have  been  the 
only  ones  who  could  have  tempted  him  to  visit  his 


108    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

old  home,  and  now  the  thought  of  smiling,  indif- 
ferent Marion — so  changed  from  old  times — and 
her  austere  father,  looking  at  him  with  penetrat- 
ing eyes,  was  intolerable. 

No  request  nor  appeal  ever  came  in  vain  from 
any  one  who  had  thought  himself  John's  friend 
in  the  past — but — go  to  Elmcroft?  "Not  on  your 
life!"  John  said  to  himself  with  indrawn  breath, 
half  ashamed  of  his  resolve  and  half  glad  that  he 
had  the  good  sense  to  adhere  to  his  wise  determi- 
nation. 


CHAPTER   IX 

ONE  evening,  John  was  giving  one  of  his  de- 
lightful and  exclusive  dinners.  If  the  shade  of 
old  John  Eemington  had  returned  to  the  drawing- 
room  of  his  one-time  dwelling,  that  stately  room 
would  have  amazed  the  ghost:  not  that  it  had  been 
robbed  of  all  evidence  of  the  previous  existence 
of  old  John  Remington — something  in  John's  loy- 
alty forbade  this ;  to  the  memory  of  the  uncle,  to 
whom  he  owed  his  new  life,  he  paid  habitual  re- 
spect which  refused  to  ignore  the  landmarks  of 
that  uncle's  life,  even  where  they  were  most  in- 
artistic and  unsightly.  But,  although  the  room  in 
the  ancestral  home  was  fundamentally  as  old  John 
Remington  had  altered  it,  fifty  years  ago,  bearing 
many  hideous  marks  of  the  ugly  early- Victorian 
construction,  yet  it  was  as  if  a  gnarled  and  ancient 
tree  had  suddenly  blossomed  into  beauty  and 
bloom.  The  room  was  fragrant  with  flowers  grow- 
ing in  costly  silver  jars  and  standing  in  stately 
gold  and  silver  vases,  splendid  with  notable  pic- 
tures and  luxurious  with  numberless  articles  of 
elegance:  here,  there,  and  everywhere,  were 
books;  John's  passion  for  books  had  indulged  it- 
self to  the  full ;  the  old  library,  on  the  other  side 
of  the  hall,  was  filled  with  a  fine  and  rare  collec- 

109 


110    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

tion;  John's  own  den — on  the  floor  above — was 
crowded  with  his  old  books  and  with  the  newest 
books  of  the  day :  even  in  the  drawing-room,  there 
were  sumptuous  volumes,  superbly  bound,  lying 
on  every  table. 

But  if  the  shade  of  old  John  Eemington  should 
have  returned  that  evening,  there  would  have  been 
scant  time  to  consider  alterations  in  the  room. 
His  ghostly  attention  would  have  been  challenged 
by  the  array  of  beauty  and  of  fashion  in  the 
women  who  dominated  it! — fair  heads  and  dark 
heads,  white  shoulders  and  rounded  arms,  dia- 
monds, rubies  and  sapphires,  blazing  tiaras  and 
nodding  aigrettes,  soft  voices  and  feminine  laugh- 
ter, would  have  made  the  ghost  of  old  John  Eem- 
ington hurry  back  to  the  shades  from  whence  it 
had  come. 

Twelve  women  were  waiting  for  the  twelve  men 
in  the  smoking-room;  meanwhile  they  were  con- 
soling themselves  with  coffee,  liqueur  and  ciga- 
rettes: they  had  drifted  into  two  groups:  one 
group  in  a  far  corner  was  discussing,  in  low  tones, 
a  subject — perhaps  a  scandal — of  common  inter- 
est :  the  other  group,  around  the  fire,  was  the  more 
noticeable  of  the  two;  that  group  challenged  at- 
tention: five  of  the  most  popular  women  in  New 
York  had  drawn  together,  as  by  mutual  attrac- 
tion; five  women,  and  with  them  a  young  girl,  a 
favourite  with  both  groups,  who  had  chosen  the 
sparkling  circle  by  the  fire  as  being  the  more 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    111 

amusing.  The  women  in  that  circle  were  distin- 
guished each  in  some  special  way. 

Mrs.  Barkley  was  a  beauty,  a  petted  favourite 
since  babyhood:  her  dark  brown  eyes  and  coal- 
black  hair,  her  brilliant  colouring,  her  gowns,  her 
original  jewels,  and  a  certain  dash  of  daring  were 
the  delight  of  men,  the  envy  and  despair  of 
women :  her  fascination  and  her  lively  grace  made 
her  the  desire  of  hosts  and  hostesses  who  wanted 
enlivened  dinner  parties. 

Mrs.  Morgan  was  chic  from  the  tip  of  her 
diamond-touched  aigrette  to  her  blue  satin,  high- 
heeled,  diamond-buckled  slippers;  she  was  an  ar- 
biter of  fashion  and  of  all  social  ritual:  she  was 
sadly  lacking  in  natural  wit,  but  she  had  a  good, 
a  well-trained  memory,  and  she  kept  a  store- 
house of  inimitable  stories  always  at  her  tongue 's 
end:  if  she  had  no  clever  contributions  of  her 
own  to  make,  she  had  a  fund  of  amusing  things 
that  she  had  treasured  to  pass  on:  and  thereby 
she  added  greatly  to  the  gaiety  of  the  hour. 

Mrs.  de  Lancey — a  handsome  widow  with  a  for- 
tune that  enabled  her  to  follow  her  whims  and 
the  flight  of  whatever  fancy  she  chose,  had  a 
house,  an  entourage  and  a  position  which  made 
her  the  desideratum  for  the  social  aspirant  and 
those  on  pleasure  bent. 

The  stately  Mrs.  Gore — an  Englishwoman  by 
descent — was  a  much  sought-f or  person ;  her  own 
and  her  husband's  aristocratic  connections,  and 
her  many  titled  friends  abroad,  gave  her  a  social 


112    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

prestige,  especially  to  those  vapid  Americans 
touched  with  the  obnoxious  toxine  of  title-mania. 

Then — there  was  Mrs.  Winthrop ! 

Mrs.  Winthrop  should  not,  could  not  be  classi- 
fied; she  defied  classification:  in  what  category 
could  one  place  her?  She  was  also  beautiful,  but 
with  a  strange  beauty  very  different  from  Mrs. 
Barkley's  frank  loveliness:  her  eyes  had  the  glint 
of  blue-green  aquamarine;  they  had  full  languid 
lids,  white  and  blue- veined  with  long  lashes ;  sud- 
denly and  unexpectedly  those  eyes  would  open 
upon  one  in  a  startling  way,  and  just  as  one  was 
thinking  that  there  was  something  in  them  that 
one  was  not  quite  sure  about,  the  heavy  lids  fell  to 
cover  them,  and  one  was  haunted  by  the  absorb- 
ing desire  to  see  them  once  again.  She  had  a 
sharp  tongue,  which  she  kept  sheathed — as  she 
kept  her  eyes  veiled — until  she  wished  to  draw  the 
sword ;  then  her  sharp  cuts  were  given  with  gentle 
sweetness.  Her  ancestors  were  French :  one  some- 
times wondered  just  what  that  ancestry  was :  but 
as  she  was  Horace  Winthrop 's  wife  it  really  mat- 
tered very  little.  She  assumed  the  authority  of 
the  Faubourg  St.  Germain :  whether  or  not  it  had 
been  hers  by  birth,  it  was  hers  by  right  of  con- 
quest :  she  had  conquered  it  during  the  diplomatic 
services  of  Horace  Winthrop,  which  had  been  a 
socially  brilliant  event  in  the  annals  of  the  Ameri- 
can embassy.  It  is  constantly  asserted  that  the 
Faubourg  St.  Germain  is  not  to  be  conquered  by 
any  one  who  comes  in  by  other  ways  than  by  the 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    113 

broad  portals  emblazoned  with  ancient  escutch- 
eons ;  but  whatever  may  be  said  to  the  contrary, 
notwithstanding,  every  tradition  bends  its  head  to 
a  beautiful  and  diplomatically  clever  woman,  es- 
pecially if  that  woman  is  from  America.  Win- 
throp's  prestige  and  Winthrop's  wealth  gave  his 
wife  strong  forces  with  which  to  work.  The  Am- 
bassadorship had  been  given  him  at  the  request 
of  his  father,  who  had  done  much  for  the  Repub- 
lican Party  in  many  ways. 

Although  she  still  kept  the  flavour  of  Paris, 
a  certain  je  ne  sais  quoi,  in  her  atmosphere,  even 
as  she  kept  it  in  her  dress,  Mrs.  Winthrop  was 
too  clever  and  too  cosmopolitan  to  assert  her 
nationality:  as  a  French  woman  she  knew  she 
would  be  an  interloper  in  the  Parisian  quarters 
she  essayed;  as  an  American  she  was  a  welcome 
guest:  therefore,  she  was  shrewd  enough  always 
to  proclaim  herself  an  American — even  though 
she  kept  a  Parisian  heart.  Her  husband  was 
a  handsome,  languid,  indifferent  man,  lazily  busy 
always  with  his  buzzing  nothings — much  sought 
after  at  the  clubs  where  he  spent  most  of  his 
time :  he  was  not  in  the  least  brilliant,  and,  if  the 
truth  be  told,  he  was  yawn-compelling :  but  Ameda 
Winthrop  hid  her  yawns  with  inimitable  grace; 
she  was  always  distinctly  grateful  for  any  man 
who  came  her  way  to  banish  them,  and  she  was 
grateful  to  Horace  for  the  free  head  he  gave  her 
in  these  matters  and  the  free  hand  in  the  open 
purse — to  which  the  strings  were  seldom  drawn. 


114    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

On  this  evening,  Mrs.  Winthrop  was  more 
charming  than  ever;  there  was  a  subtle  air  of 
mystery  about  her,  which  all  the  women  noticed : 
she  sipped  her  coffee  from  an  old  French  coffee 
cup  as  fragile  as  frost. 

"I  am  very  proud  of  my  pupil,"  she  said  non- 
chalantly, smiling  and  looking  about  the  sump- 
tuous room. 

"Your  pupil?  Do  you  mean  John  Wright?" 
Mrs.  Barkley  lifted  her  dark  eyebrows. 

"Yes;  Horace  met  him  at  the  Club  last  year— 
and  brought  him  to  me :  he  was  a  stranger  to  New 
York — but  I  knew  the  moment  I  met  him  that 
he  was  a  find — and  so  I  took  him  in  hand." 

Mrs.  Barkley  made  a  little  moue— 

"But  I  assure  you,  my  dear,  my  claim  is  the 
earlier  one;  he  was  Ted's  classmate  at  Harvard; 
and  the  moment  he  came  to  New  York,  two  years 
ago,  Ted  brought  him  to  me — on  College  terms, 
so  to  speak." 

Mrs.  Winthrop  flashed  a  look  at  her;  perhaps 
there  was  a  slight  hostility  in  her  blue-green 
eyes — if  there  were,  the  heavy  lids  fell  quickly 
and  covered  them  before  one  could  be  quite  sure ; 
her  voice  was  musical : 

"Are  you  on  College  terms  now,  so  to  speak?" 

"Precisely,"  answered  Mrs.  Barkley  lightly. 

"Multimillionaires  are  always  a  find,  are  they 
not?"  said  Mrs.  Gore,  as  she  lighted  her  cigarette. 

"Not  in  the  least."  Mrs.  Winthrop  spoke  with 
an  air  of  one  having  authority.  "They  are  a 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET   115 

drug  in  the  market — they  have  become  so  com- 
mon that  they  have  lost  all  distinction ;  now  it  is 
rather  distinguished  to  be  poor." 

Mrs.  Barkley  gave  a  little  cry : 

''Jubilate!  We  are  fast  on  the  road  to  dis- 
tinction, then;  Robert  lost  thousands  and  thou- 
sands in  the  last  slump  in  the  market. ' ' 

"But,"  continued  Mrs.  Winthrop,  "if  one  hap- 
pens to  have  It,  then  the  millions  give  a  snap  to 
the  situation.  Millions  permit  personal  expres- 
sion: so  our  pupil," — and  she  smiled  sweetly  at 
Mrs.  Barkley — "being  what  he  is,  had  the  where- 
withal to  fast  become  what  he  was  not:  he  is 
as  clever  as  lightning  and  as  swift  as  the  wind." 

"You  are  right,  Mrs.  Winthrop!  Mr.  Wright 
is  dangerously  clever,"  said  Mrs.  de  Lancey.  "It 
actually  stops  my  breath  the  way  he  takes  his 
fences!  He  knew  nothing  of  the  world  two  years 
ago,  and  now  look  at  this  dinner!  It  was  per- 
fectly appointed — there  was  not  a  flaw  from  start 
to  finish.  It  takes  some  women,  even,  a  life-time 
to  learn  shadings." 

"Everything  was  absolutely  as  it  should  be." 
Mrs.. Morgan  spoke  with  the  final  air  of  a  con- 
noisseur. 

"And  so  are  the  rooms."  Mrs.  de  Lancey 
glanced  at  the  shaded  lamps.  "Bachelors  usu- 
ally insist  upon  a  blazing  glare  of  light,  fatal 
to  all  nuances — and  worse  than  fatal  to  all  com- 
plexions. ' ' 


116    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

Mrs.  Barkley  made  a  graceful  gesture  of 
protest : 

"I  wish  it  were  only  bachelors,  Florence,  but 
husbands,  alas!  are  the  same:  they  will  never 
learn:  Robert  has  a  perfect  mania  for  switching 
on  the  electric  light  in  the  most  critical  and  ro- 
mantic moments  of  life.  It  is  too  maddening 
when  you  are  sitting  in  '  the  soft  shade  of  lamps, 
to  be  wooed  for  a  while'  by  some  attractive  man 
— to  have  your  artistically  shadowed  room  sud- 
denly turned  into  the  Great  White  Way!  It 
is  truly  tragic!" — and  she  gave  a  little  shrug. 

"  Perhaps  Mr.  Barkley  has  reasons  of  his 
own."  Mrs.  Winthrop  spoke  softly. 

"Reasons?  What  reasons?"  Mrs.  Barkley 
turned  her  lovely  dark  head  quickly,  like  a  bird. 

"To  end  the  wooing,  my  dear." 

"How  clever  of  you,  Ameda!  I  never  thought 
of  that!"  said  Mrs.  Barkley  coolly:  she  took  a 
cigarette,  and  as  she  gracefully  lighted  it  she 
looked  around  the  group  from  one  to  another 
with  her  indescribable  charm  of  manner. 

"Whom  do  you  think  I  was  flirting  with  madly 
the  last  time  that  Robert  spoiled  the  atmosphere 
by  his  vivid  search-light  ? '  > 

"Do  tell  us."    The  women  were  alert. 

"He  is  the  most  fascinating  man  in  the  world: 
I  would  go  with  him  to  the  ends  of  the  earth- 
yes," — she  gave  a  dramatic  shudder — "I  have 
decided — for  I  have  often  debated  the  question — 
I  would  even  leave  the  children  for  him. ' ' 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    117 

Mrs.  Winthrop  and  Mrs.  Gore  exchanged 
glances. 

"May  we  presume  to  ask  his  name?"  said  Mrs. 
Gore. 

"Surely"— Grace  Barkley  flashed— "it  is  Bob- 
ertBarkley!" 

They  all  laughed  except  Mrs.  Winthrop,  who 
"often  found  it  most  difficult,"  she  said,  "to  find 
any  point  to  Mrs.  Barkley 's  nonsense." 

"Mr.  Wright's  clothes  are  perfect."  Mrs. 
Morgan  went  back  to  John — she  was  a  woman 
given  to  persistency  in  details. 

"Money  is  the  best  tailor!"  observed  Mrs. 
Gore. 

"Oh,  do  you  think  so,  Mrs.  Gore?"  Mrs.  Win- 
throp's  tones  would  imply  that  her  contradic- 
tion was  an  agreement.  "I  have  always  thought 
that  money — by  itself — is  the  worst  tailor  a  man 
can  find:  rich  men,  without  breeding  or  brains, 
in  good  clothes  are  the  most  fearful  fakes;  the 
threadbare  sack  suit  of  a  gentleman  looks  royal 
beside  the  smooth,  new,  sleek,  evening-clothes 
of  a  millionaire  manufacturer." 

"The  best  thing  about  Mr.  Wright  is  that  he 
doesn't  need  any  clothes."  This  came  from  the 
young  girl,  the  only  unmarried  one  of  the  party, 
who  had  sat  in  silence,  looking  from  one  to  the 
other  of  the  women  as  they  talked:  she  was  ex- 
ceedingly pretty,  with  a  frank,  straightforward 
Diana-like  look;  her  direct  uncompromising  gaze 


118    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

made  one  a  trifle  uncomfortable  if  there  were 
anything  to  conceal. 

Mrs.  Winthrop  turned  her  surprised  eyes  upon 
the  girl. 

"What  an  improper  remark,  Sally.  Have  you 
been  reading  Carpenter?" 

"Who  is  Carpenter?"  said  Sally,  nothing 
daunted. 

"He  is  one  of  the  most  cosmic  of  moderns." 

Sally  pouted :  ' '  Oh,  bother !  When  one  doesn  't 
know  how  to  describe  a  person,  one  says  he  is 
cosmic. ' ' 

Mrs.  Winthrop  smiled  indulgently. 

"Sally,  for  a  dunce,  you  make  extremely  pene- 
trating remarks." 

"I  know  what  she  means,"  Sally  said  with 
spirit,  looking  around  the  group.  "She  asked 
me,  last  week,  to  go  with  her  to  one  of  the  Wednes- 
day morning  lectures — it  was  on  the  prehistoric 
psychic  phenomena  of  the  subconscious  cerebel- 
lum of  the  cranium — or  some  such  lucid  subject 
— and  I  told  her  that  I  was  a  dunce  and  that  I 
should  be  bored  stiff!" 

Mrs.  Barkley  looked  at  the  girl  affectionately. 

"You  are  so  pretty,  Sally,  that  you  really  do 
not  need  any  brains." 

"Thanks  awfully,  Mrs.  Barkley.  Is  that  a  com- 
pliment or  an  insult?" 

"My  dear  child,  do  you  think  any  one  would 
take  the  trouble  to  insult  a  little  pink-and-white 
thing  like  you?" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    119 

"Well,  I  never  could  understand,"  continued 
Sally,  "why  women  should  take  their  learning  as 
though  it  were  a  Turkish  bath  and  have  to 
have  it  lathered  over  them,  and  rubbed  into  them 
by  experts :  it  is  an  awful  nuisance — I  much  pre- 
fer to  dance." 

Sally  jumped  up  and  took  some  graceful  danc- 
ing steps  which  she  had  been  practising  in  the 
afternoon. 

"Sit  down,  Sally!"  said  Mrs.  Morgan.  "You 
make  me  nervous.  I'm  afraid  you'll  upset  that 
table." 

Sally  turned  on  her  with  mock  indignation  and 
reproach. 

"Mrs.  Morgan!  I  upset  a  table!  I  may  not 
understand  your  isms  and  your  ologies — but  I 
know  how  to  dance  without  breaking  the  fur- 
niture." 

Sally  curbed  her  spirits,  however,  and  came 
back  to  her  low  chair;  she  clasped  her  hands  be- 
fore her  and  sat  looking  into  the  fire  with  the  air 
of  a  young  sage  as  she  spoke : 

"I  am  a  dunce,  as  you  say — but  if  I  did  have 
brains  I  should  enjoy  the  wild  delight  of  letting 
them  soar  of  their  own  free  will — I  shouldn't  want 
some  one  to  give  me  a  chart  to  steer  them  by, 
or  to  take  my  mind  by  the  hand  to  lead  it  gently 
through  a  maze  of  material  hurled  at  me  with- 
out order  or  system." 

' '  But,  Sally, ' '  Mrs.  Morgan  was  nothing  if  not 
literal,  "you  surely  do  not  object  to  a  teacher?" 


120    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Certainly  I  do  not  object  to  a  teacher — but  I, 
the  dunce,  need  a  very  different  teacher  from  you 
— the  intellectual!  If  one  is  to  study  at  all,  one 
wants  to  study  in  a  real  way.  I've  been  to  the 
Colony  Club  when  you  have  your  lectures  there 
and  the  lectures  are  like  certain  cocktails — made 
up  of  so  many  things  that  one  can't  tell  what  one 
is  drinking ;  they  are  stimulating  but  not  strength- 
ening; after  drinking  them  one  is  dizzy  but  not 
fortified." 

"I  think,  myself,"  sighed  Mrs.  Barkley,  "the 
child  is  right:  it  is  somewhat  confusing:  Satur- 
day night,  by  the  merest  chance,  Robert  and  I 
were  alone  for  dinner — fancy  being  alone  with 
one's  husband — alone  in  one's  own  house  for  din- 
ner ! — after  dinner  I  was  trying  to  amuse  Robert 
— one  must  be  entertaining  even  to  one 's  husband, 
if  one  is  cast  alone  with  him  on  a  desert  evening 
— Robert  has  no  end  of  brains — I  always  try  to 
live  up  to  him — amongst  other  things,  I  attempted 
to  give  him  a  resume  of  my  intellectual  month — 
we  had  a  perfect  orgy  of  lectures  last  month,  you 
know — so  I  began;  but  to  tell  you  the  truth,  my 
dears,  I  became  hopelessly  mixed!  I  found  my- 
self making  a  rabid  Socialist  of  that  Indian  poet 
— what's  his  name? — Oh,  I  know — Tagore — and 
talking  about  Karl  Marx  as  though  he  were  a  poet, 
in  a  way  that  would  have  made  that  drastic  old 
dear  sit  up :  I  found  my  political  and  my  domes- 
tic economy  changing  terms ;  and  I  sent  the  leader 
of  the  militant  movement  roaming  around  Lon- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    121 

don,  as  'The  Widow  in  the  Bye  Street:'  the  first 
thing  I  knew  I  was  waking  up  from  a  lovely  dewy 
nap — and  Robert  was  leaning  over  me,  and  laugh- 
ing at  me." 

" There  it  is!"  said  Sally:  "I  go  to  the  Colony 
Club  sometimes  on  lecture  days,  and  I  sit  and 
watch  the  women  come  in,  just  for  fun:  I  laugh 
in  my  sleeve — these  new  sleeves  give  more  lee- 
way for  laughter — they  all  try  to  look  so  awfully 
wise,  so  eager  and  so  intelligent,  and  yet  I  know 
they  are  bored  stiff,  their  poor  little  minds  are 
all  in  a  hodge-podge  mix-up :  if  they  really  cared 
for  what  they  came  for,  they  wouldn't  come!" 

"That  sounds  a  bit  off,  Sally,"  said  one  of  the 
women. 

"Not  at  all!"  answered  Sally:  "If  they  cared 
for  what  they  came  for,  they  would  go  to  the 
library  and  dig.  But  did  you  ever  see  one  of 
those  smart  intellectuals  stealing  off  to  study  in 
dusty,  musty  alcoves  of  the  library,  or  going  to 
Teacher's  College  for  a  serious  consideration  of 
the  subject  she  affects?  Not  on  your  life!" 

Mrs.  de  Lancey  looked  about  the  room: 

"What  a  stunning  room  this  is!  Mr.  Wright 
has  excellent  taste." 

"Excellent!"  assented  Mrs.  Gore:  "Is  it  really 
true,  Mrs.  Barkley,  that  he  was  the  son  of  a 
farmer?" 

"Yes;  his  mother  was  a  Remington;  my  mother 
used  to  tell  me  of  her:  she  was  very  beautiful 
and  popular :  but  to  every  one 's  surprise  she  mar- 


122    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

ried  a  common  farmer,  much  to  the  distress  of  the 
family." 

''Amazing!  How  did  it  happen?" 
"Her  mother,  John's  grandmother,  old  Mrs. 
Atkinson,  was  an  invalid.  My  mother  said  she 
was  a  most  stately  dame:  I  fancy  she  must  have 
been  about  as  progressive  as  a  blind  mole  in  a 
hole.  One  summer  she  was  ordered  to  a  primitive 
out-of-the-way  place  called  Elmcroft,  because  her 
doctor  had  a  fad  about  the  air  there.  It  has 
grown  to  be  more  or  less  of  a  summer  resort  now, 
but  at  that  time  it  was  a  wild  primitive  place 
with  unbroken  pine  forests.  She  took  her  daugh- 
ter Mary  with  her  and  the  girl  wandered  through 
the  woods  free  and  untrammelled  for  the  very  first 
tune  in  her  life.  The  women  of  that  generation  had 
no  safety  valves — no  thrilling  outlets  whatever 
such  as  we  have :  they  were  kept  in  nice  little  glass 
cases  and  their  mothers  used  even  to  pump  the  air 
out  of  the  glass  cases  lest  life  should  be  too  ex- 
citing for  them.  How  little  mothers  know !  How 
absurd  the  whole  method  is !  In  New  York,  Mary 
Atkinson  was  not  allowed  to  move  without  an 
attendant,  but  in  the  forests  of  Elmcroft  of  course 
she  was  safe,  her  mother  thought — and  yet — there 
lurked  the  danger  of  dangers!  One  day  whilst 
Mary  was  winging  her  way  through  the  pine  for- 
est she  met  with  some  kind  of  an  accident- 
tripped  over  a  fallen  tree  or  something  of  that 
kind — and  'along  came  a  farmer  whose  name  was' 
-Wright  and  helped  her  out  of  her  difficulty.  He 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    123 

was  very  handsome  and  strong:  she  was  very 
beautiful  and  weak:  he  and  she  looked  into  each 
other's  eyes  and  the  lightning  struck.  After  that 
fateful  day,  Mary  did  not  walk  alone. 

"Mary  Atkinson  was  far  ahead  of  her  times: 
I  think  she  must  have  been  a  well-spring  of  de- 
light in  her  day  and  generation ! — but  her  mother 
— and  my  mother — thought  she  was  quite  deplor- 
able and  improper.  To  her  mother's  surprise  she 
asserted  that  she  would  stay  for  ever  in  Elmcroft 
—she  preferred  Paradise  and  Adam  to  New  York 
and  the  sons  of  men.  Old  Mrs.  Atkinson  was 
frantic,  the  Eemingtons — especially  old  John — 
were  furious:  but  with  true  Remington  force  of 
character  Mary  stood  her  ground.  She  said  that 
she  was  of  age  and  was  entitled  to  choose  her  own 
life — that  she  had  never  really  lived  until  that 
summer:  she  protested  that  New  York  was  stag- 
nation and  that  Paradise  was  exhilaration:  and, 
lo  and  behold — John  Wright  was  the  exciting 
product  of  that  exhilaration!" 

"Grace,"  protested  Mrs.  Morgan,  "what  an 
extraordinary  way  you  have  of  putting  things ! ' ' 

"Then,  Mr.  Wright  is  truly "  began  Mrs. 

Gore. 

"He  is  truly,"  interrupted  Mrs.  de  Lancey, 
"one  of  the  most  distinguished  men  in  New 
York." 

"It  all  depends,  as  Mrs.  Winthrop  said" — and 
Mrs.  Barkley  inclined  her  lovely  head  in  Mrs. 
Winthrop 's  direction — "on  whether  or  not  a  man 


124    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

has  It.  Mr.  Squeedunk  of  Squeedunkville  is  a 
blacksmith,  he  may  inherit  millions — but  he  is 
a  blacksmith  to  the  end  of  time:  whereas,  Sieg- 
fried— to  all  intents  and  purposes' — was  a  black- 
smith— and  yet " 

"That's  who  it  is! — that's  who  it  is!"  ex- 
claimed Sally  galvanically. 

4 'Do  be  quiet,  Sally." 

"That's  who  what  is?"  asked  Mrs.  Winthrop, 
smiling  subtly. 

"Mr.  Wright! — I've  wondered  and  wondered 
whom  he  was  like — now  I  know! — Siegfried  in 
clothes." 

"How  absurd!"  Mrs.  Winthrop  demurred. 

"Isn't  it  true!" 

"You  incorrigible  one." 

Mrs.  Winthrop,  who  had  often  thought  the  same 
when  she  saw  the  opera,  was  too  clever  to  be- 
tray herself;  she  changed  the  subject  by  turning 
to  Mrs.  Barkley: 

"What  a  ravishing  gown,  Grace!" 

Mrs.  Barkley  smiled  her  thanks. 

"It  is  very  simple." 

"Simple?"  said  Mrs.  Morgan,  who  could  al- 
ways estimate  values  at  a  glance. 

"Very  simple,"  repeated  Mrs.  Barkley.  "It 
is  nothing  but  a  slit,  two  straps  and  a  yard  or 
two  of  chiffon:  the  present  mode  consists  chiefly 
of  negations  and  suggestions." 

"Look  at  that  exquisite  embroidery!  Surely 
that  is  not  a  negation." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    125 

"That,"  asserted  Mrs.  Barkley  airily,  "is  a 
mere  fallacious  gossamer  web  over  nothingness — 
according  to  Robert." 

"Grace!" 

"When  Robert  was  deriding  the  gown,  I 
pointed  out  the  quality  of  the  embroidery  and  he 
said:  'The  embroidery  is  all  right,  but  where  is 
the  foundation?  I  thought  things  had  to  be  em- 
broidered on  something. '  It  quite  worried  me ;  I 
feared  perhaps  the  gown  was  too  daring." 

"Not  at  all!"  the  women  exclaimed  in  chorus. 

"Your  dressmaker  is  certainly  an  artist,"  said 
Mrs.  de  Lancey. 

"I  think  she  is,"  agreed  Mrs.  Barkley.  "She 
is  a  Cubist — her  gowns  are  abstractions.  Isn't 
the  present  mode  utterly  absurd?  A  few  years 
ago  when  one's  new  gown  came  home  every  one 
knew  it,  even  the  chef — the  box  blocked  the  way 
—now  it  might  be  any  little  unconsidered  trifle. 
This  gown  was  sent  in  a  box  about  so  large" 
— she  illustrated  the  size  with  her  hands — 
"and  Perkins  left  it  on  the  hall  table:  he 
thinks  my  things  belong  in  Fifine's  depart- 
ment, so  he  never  carries  them  up-stairs  on 
his  own  initiative — I  constantly  have  to  remind 
him  that  it  is  his  duty  to  carry  up  all  parcels.  Pa- 
tiently I  go  over  the  matter  each  time  and  tell 
him  that  Fifine's  responsibility  does  not  begin 
until  she  has  my  things  in  hand,  but  Perkins* 
brain  always  stands  as  pat  as  a  Republican — he 
refuses  to  take  in  new  ideas.  There  are  very  un- 


126    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

diplomatic  interchanges  between  him  and  Fifine 
regarding  the  mere  matter  of  transportation. 
For  some  strange  reason  there  is  always  war  be- 
tween those  two,  or  at  best  a  belligerent  peace. 
I  know  this,  although,  before  me,  they  are  like 
cooing  doves.  As  I  say,  this  box  was  left  lying  on 
the  hall  table  for  Fifine,  and  M 'Conner,  Eobert's 
valet,  passing  through  the  hall,  saw  it  and  thought 
it  was  a  box  of  ties  that  Robert  had  ordered, 
so  he  took  it  up  to  Robert's  dressing-room:— 
fancy  what  we  have  come  to  wearing! — I  mean 
the  size  of  our  gowns! — M 'Conner  is  a  fool — a 
willing  pleasant  fool,  but  a  hopeless  one — I  was 
sitting  in  my  room,  deep  in  a  novel,  and  M 'Conner 
appeared  with  the  box  in  his  hand,  he  had  put  on 
the  cover  so  that  I  did  not  see  what  was  in  the 
box — he  had  such  a  confused  face  and  manner  I 
thought  something  awful  had  happened:  he 
hemmed  and  hawed  and  then  he  said  hesitatingly : 
'These  ties,  Ma'am,  ain't  ties,  Ma'am.'  I  asked 
him  what  in  Heaven's  name  he  was  talking  about 
and  he  answered:  'Mr.  Barkley's  ties,  Ma'am,  is 
your  dress,  Ma'am." 

"Grace,"  exclaimed  Mrs.  de  Lancey,  "you 
made  up  that  story — every  word ! ' ' 

"Not  at  all — there  is  much  more,  but  I  shall 
omit  the  important  and  spicy  part — namely,  what 
Robert  said  when  he  heard  the  story." 

"What  was  it?" 

"Nothing  would  induce  me  to  tell.  I  am  glad 
to  say,"  and  Mrs.  Barkley  gave  a  little  sigh  of 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    127 

relief,  "the  fashion  is  changing.  Soon  one's 
maid  will  be  able  to  keep  track  of  one's  gowns 
without  the  aid  of  a  magnifying  glass :  but  it  will 
be  difficult  if  one  lives  in  an  ordinary  sized  house 
as  I  do,  because  the  boxes  will  not  get  in  at  an 
ordinary  front  door." 

"Do  you  really  think  that  we  shall  have 
hoops?"  asked  Mrs.  Gore. 

"Certainly — or  their  equivalent,"  answered 
Mrs.  Barkley.  "We  scoff  at  Fashion,  but  the  law 
of  Fashion  is  an  intellectual  thing :  it  is  so  mani- 
festly governed  by  strict  scientific  principles — 
balance  and  equilibrium!  They  are  always  main- 
tained! The  tighter  and  the  closer  our  limbs  are 
bound  to-day,  the  wider  and  the  wilder  our  skirts 
will  be  next  year  or  the  year  after." 

"Grace,"  Mrs.  Winthrop  turned  toward  her 
with  her  most  ingratiating  air,  "you  haven't  been 
to  see  me  this  winter." 

"Forgive  me,  Ameda.  It's  my  misfortune:  I 
am  so  frightfully  busy  that  I  literally  haven't 
time  to  think." 

"Beading  novels — dear?"  Mrs.  Winthrop 
smiled  sweetly.  "I  have  missed  you,  Grace,  for 
you  know  I  consider  you  my  most  intimate 
friend." 

"How  gracious  of  you,  Ameda,"  responded 
Mrs.  Barkley  with  courteous  evasion.  t '  Our  lives 
have  been  thrown  together  delightfully,  haven't 
they?"  She  turned  to  the  other  women:  "Mr. 
Winthrop  was  my  father's  godson  and  Father 


128    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

always  called  him  our  ecclesiastical  cousin:  the 
two  families  have  always  been  intimate." 

Mrs.  Winthrop  gave  her  a  curious  glance  from 
her  blue-green  eyes. 

"It  is  for  your  own  sake,  not  for  the  family's 
sake,  that  I  love  you." 

Mrs.  Barkley  thanked  her  and  then  hurried  to 
add  as  the  most  conclusive  way  of  ending  the 
topic : 

"Ameda,  I  really  will  come  to  you  the  very  first 
moment  I  can  beg,  borrow  or  steal." 

Mrs.  Morgan  had  been  keeping  a  savory  mor- 
sel too  long  for  her  comfort :  she  could  keep  it  no 
longer. 

1  'Did  you  know  that  Janice  Strong  has  left  her 
husband?" 

There  were  exclamations  of  surprise,  and  a  sud- 
denly awakened  interest  as  Mrs.  Morgan  had  an- 
ticipated. No  one  had  heard  it — every  one  asked — 

"Why?" 

"She  says  he  bores  her!" 

"Bores  her? — fancy  leaving  one's  husband  be- 
cause he  bores  one!"  Mrs.  Gore's  tone  was  enig- 
matic. 

"Peter  Strong  always  bored  me  to  extinction," 
exclaimed  Mrs.  Barkley.  Mrs.  Gore  looked  sur- 
prised : 

"I  have  never  met  him  but  I  understand  that 
he  is  called  a  very  deep  thinker." 

"My  dear,  there's  nothing  on  earth  that  bores 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    129 

one  more  than  a  deep  thinker  who  doesn't  think," 
said  Mrs.  Barkley. 

"A  thinker  who  doesn't  think!  Oh,  that's 
lovely ! ' '  cried  Sally. 

"I  know,"  cooed  Mrs.  Winthrop,  "I  sat  next  to 
a  man  like  that,  the  other  night,  and  he  was  im- 
possible! My  hostess  whispered  to  me  that  he 
was  a  most  distinguished  savant:  it  is  needless 
to  say  I  made  the  social  effort  to  add  to  the  gaiety 
of  the  moment  and  threw  him  a  shuttlecock  of 
badinage — and  he  answered  with  a  dull  list  of 
statistics!" 

"That  is  just  what  I  mean,"  said  Mrs.  Barkley. 
"I  went  in  to  dinner  the  other  night  with  that 
Englishman  from  Oxford,  stopping  at  Mrs.  How- 
ard's ;  she  presented  him  to  me  in  such  awed  tones 
that  I  began  to  tremble — but  I  braced  up  for  the 
honour  of  American  women,  took  my  courage  in 
my  hands  and  made  a  light  and  merry  jest:  the 
big  lion  stared  at  me  with  unseeing  eyes  and 
roared  at  me  that  my  brilliant  originality  was  a 
dry-as-dust  classic,  that  Aristophanes,  or  some 
other  tiresome  old  fossil,  said  something  like  it 
ages  ago.  There  is  nothing  more  asphyxiating 
than  that  kind  of  a  man !  I  should  think  Janice 
would  be  a  drivelling  idiot. ' ' 

"Well,  what  is  she?"  asked  Sally  demurely. 

"Hush,  Sally,  you  are  really  dreadful.  The 
tragic  part  of  it  is  that  he  never  did  bore  Janice 
until  Jack  Torrence  came. ' ' 


130    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"She  has  gone  from  the  devil  to  the  deep  sea," 
said  one  of  the  women. 

"Which  is  which?"  Mrs.  Barkley  shrugged  her 
lovely  shoulders:  "Neither  of  her  men  is  deep 
enough  to  be  devilish,  nor  devilish  enough  to  be 
deep — as  for  Jack  Torrence — he  is  as  shallow  as 
the  shoals!" 

"Shallow  as  the  shoals — shallow  as  the 
shoals — "  murmured  Sally,  "what  a  dandy  song 
that  would  make !  Shallow  as  the  shoals ! ' ' 

"Sally,  dear,  you  sound  as  if  you  were  chant- 
ing your  own  autobiography."  Mrs.  Winthrop 
smiled. 

"Upon  my  word!"  Sally  protested. 

"I  mean,"  continued  Mrs.  Winthrop,  "that  you 
keep  up  a  perpetual  noise  and  say  nothing." 

"Oh,  I  know  what  you  mean!"  Sally  had  a 
peppery  little  temper  of  her  own  with  all  her 
sunshiny  nature :  she  looked  straight  into  the  blue- 
green  eyes :  * '  Should  you  prefer  me  to  say  some- 
thing, Mrs.  Winthrop  I" 

"Who  will  save  us  from  this  dreadful  child?" 
Mrs.  Winthrop 's  voice  was  honeyed — but  her  eyes 
were  not  pleasant:  "We  all  spoil  you,  Sally — 
we  make  you  one  of  us." 

"Why  do  you  do  it?"  retorted  Sally  non- 
chalantly: "It  is  no  fun  for  me  to  come  to  your 
stupid  old  dinners,  where  you  married  women 
monopolise  all  the  best  men." 

•"Because    you    amuse    us    and    you    look    so 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    131 

pretty."  Mrs.  Barkley  gave  the  girl  an  admiring 
glance. 

"No  one  is  more  flattered  than  you  are,  Sally," 
said  Mrs.  de  Lancey;  "you  know  the  younger  set 
• — your  own  set — bores  you." 

"That's  a  fact — •"  Sally  looked  around  the 
group  significantly :  "I  like  the  devil  and  the  deep 
sea." 

Mrs.  de  Lancey  smiled: 

"Sally,  you  little  imp!" 

"Oh,  I  didn't  mean  you,  Mrs.  de  Lancey — I 
meant  your  men — so  many  of  them  are  both  deep 
and  devilish.  I  have  ripping  times  with  them!" 

1 1  Holy  Virgin !  What  an  extraordinary  child ! ' J 
Mrs.  Winthrop  raised  protesting  hands :  "Ameri- 
can girls  are  so  sophisticated.  When  I  was  your 
age,  Sally — that  is,  when  I  was  married — I  was 
younger  than  you  are  when  I  was  married — I  did 
not  know  a  single  thing  about  men  nor  marriage." 

Sally  looked  daringly  at  Mrs.  Winthrop: 

"Just  fancy — how  innocent — and  I  know  so 
much!  Why,  I  have  already  taken  a  stiff  course 
of  reading  on  the  sex  question — my  word!  but 
they  were  terrible  books! — I  began  with  what 
Marjory  Harris  calls  the  Primer  and  read  two 
books — I  must  say  the  third  was  too  steep  even 
for  me  so  I  threw  it  into  the  fire  after  I  had  read 
ten  pages." 

Mrs.  Winthrop  raised  her  eyebrows. 

"Mon  Dieu!"  she  said. 

"Sally! — Be  careful!    Some  persons  may  take 


132    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

you  seriously,  my  child,"  said  Mrs.  Barkley.  She 
lighted  another  cigarette:  "Excellent,  these 
cigarettes!  It  is  a  good  thing  that  Mr.  Wright 
can  never  marry.  We  should  miss  him  and  his 
bachelor  establishment;  and  then,  he  would  be 
immensely  bored  if  he  were  tied  down,  don't  you 
think?  He  has  a  latent  restlessness — as  though 
nothing  satisfied  him  long." 

"It  was  a  cruel  condition  of  his  uncle's  will  to 
banish  women  from  his  life."  Mrs.  Morgan 
spoke  sympathetically. 

Mrs.  Barkley  glanced  slyly  from  under  her 
lashes : 

"Women  do  not  have  to  be  banished  from  his 
life — because  he  cannot  marry,  do  they?" 

There  was  a  moment  when  every  one  knew  what 
every  one  else  was  thinking:  then  Mrs.  Winthrop 
remarked : 

"I  do  not  think  Mr.  Wright  cares  to  marry." 

"Don't  you  believe  it!"  said  Sally  crisply. 

"Is  he  in  love  with  you,  Sally!"  Mrs.  de  Lancey 
asked,  amused. 

"With  me?  He  doesn't  know  that  I  exist — ex- 
cept when  he  needs  me  for  decorative  purposes — 
to  add  to  the  colour-effect  of  his  dinner  table. 
But  I  know  men!" 

Mrs.  Winthrop  opened  her  sea-green  eyes 
languidly : 

' '  My  dear,  if  you  really  knew  men,  you  wouldn  't 
boast  of  it" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    133 

Sally  leaned  forward  with  her  arms  on  her 
knees,  her  head  in  her  hand,  and  looked  into 
space : 

"Now  what  does  she  mean  by  that,  I  wonder?" 


CHAPTER   X 

IN  the  meantime  the  men  were  drinking  and 
smoking  exceptionally  good  cigars  in  the  luxuri- 
ous smoking-room. 

John  had  taken  a  large  room  that  had  been 
used  by  his  uncle  as  a  store-room,  and  had  made 
of  it  an  elaborate  smoking-room  which  challenegd 
the  admiration  of  every  man  who  saw  it.  In 
this  room  John  had  allowed  his  imagination,  his 
creative  instinct  to  have  full  play. 

The  room  was  furnished  in  smoke-colour  and 
the  effect  was  striking:  there  were  old  smoke- 
coloured  leather  davenports  and  lounging-chairs, 
and  soft  heavy  smoke-coloured  hangings :  the  rug 
was  a  dull  smoke-colour ;  John  had  had  it  made  to 
order  abroad  and  had  paid  a  fabulous  price  for  it : 
the  walls  were  covered  with  rare  old  prints:  on 
the  tables  were  every  conceivable  convenience  to 
make  the  way  of  the  smoking  man  easy  and  com- 
fortable. Papers  and  periodicals,  in  lavish  pro- 
fusion, were  piled  on  the  carved  oak  centre  table, 
which  was  bright  with  shaded  electric  lamps. 

In  this  room  John  was  presiding  with  ease  and 
distinction.  An  observer  contemplating  him  would 
have  said  he  was  a  bright  illustration  of  Success 
on  the  high  crest  of  the  wave.  Vigour  and  youth 

134 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    135 

possessed  him,  and  fortune  served  him:  he  was 
respected,  he  was  envied,  and  he  knew  himself  a 
power.  He  was  markedly  changed  since  the  Elm- 
croft  days,  and  yet,  at  the  same  time,  he  was  curi- 
ously unchanged:  he  was  more  mature  and  he 
had  acquired  a  worldly  poise,  but  he  was  abso- 
lutely unaffected  and  had  the  old  irresistible  spon- 
taneous charm  that  came  from  unaffected  sim- 
plicity :  his  dress  was  too  perfect  to  be  noticeable 
enough  for  description :  he  looked  five  years  older, 
at  least,  than  when  he  stood  in  the  apple  orchard 
that  May  morning.  The  grooming  of  fashion  was 
becoming  to  him;  the  close  cut  of  his  hair,  the 
clear  smoothness  of  his  face  and  the  finish  of  his 
skin  suited  well  his  fine  features.  There  was  a 
dawning  question  in  his  eyes  which  added  to  the 
charm  of  the  man:  it  baffled  as  it  attracted;  it 
emphasised  and  yet  it  balanced  the  youthful 
freshness  of  his  face. 

With  the  exception  of  John,  Horace  Winthrop 
was  the  best-looking  man  in  the  room.  He  was 
tall  and  suave  with  an  air  of  being  intensely  bored 
but  with  a  well-bred  surface  which  concealed  his 
boredom:  he  gave  his  entire  attention  outwardly 
to  what  was  passing,  but  one  suspected  that  his 
thoughts  were  elsewhere,  whether  they  were  on 
some  great  enterprise  or  on  the  latest  French 
novel  one  could  not  be  sure. 

With  Eobert  Barkley  one  could  be  quite  sure: 
he  had  an  air  of  alertness  that  suggested  big  en- 
terprises, vast  schemes,  and  exciting  financial 


136    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

matters :  he  had  a  keen  eye  and  a  most  agreeable 
manner. 

His  brother-in-law,  Ted  Eemsen,  was  an  attrac- 
tive young  man,  not  handsome — all  the  beauty  of 
the  family  had  fortunately  gone  to  his  sister — but 
with  a  touch  of  audacity  and  daring  which  made 
him  a  prime  favourite :  he  had  the  fascination  of 
Grace  Barkley  with  the  masculine  dash  added. 

Mr.  Gore  was  an  intelligent  and  polished  man 
of  the  world. 

All  the  men  in  the  smoking-room  were  clever, 
well-bred,  well-read  and  in  close  touch  with  the 
moving  world,  its  progress,  its  problems,  and  its 
interests. 

The  men,  interested  in  watching  John's  social 
career,  were  often  surprised  that  he  talked  so  well 
and  that  he  was  so  thoroughly  informed  on  mat- 
ters of  public  interest,  of  National  importance 
and  of  International  affairs. 

Ted  Eemsen  was  not  surprised :  he  had  for  John 
a  very  genuine  enthusiasm  which  made  him  think 
John  capable  of  anything  and  everything:  with 
characteristic  generosity  he  blew  his  trumpet  far 
and  near. 

1  'John  Wright?  Why,  he  is  as  clever  as  the 
devil,  and  the  very  best  fellow  in  the  world!— 
knew  him  well  at  Harvard — lost  track  of  him 
awhile,  but  as  soon  as  he  came  to  New  York  I 
looked  him  up  and,  my  word,  but  he  is  cleverer 
and  jollier  than  ever." 

''Sixty  millions  cleverer  and  jollier,"  a  listener 


had  once  remarked  scoffingly:  when  Ted  had  fin- 
ished giving  the  man  his  opinion  in  unvarnished 
English  the  man  made  a  half-apology : 

"Don't  get  so  huffy,  Bemsen,  I  know  it  isn't  the 
money :  John  Wright  is  a  decent  enough  chap ;  but 
you  must  admit  that  a  man's  good  qualities  shine 
mighty  clear  in  a  sixty  million  arc  light. ' ' 

"Arc  light  be  damned!"  sputtered  Ted  in  an- 
swer: "John  Wright's  good  qualities  shone  as 
bright  at  Harvard  in  the  dim  candle-light  of  pov- 
erty, when  he  hadn't  a  red  cent  to  his  name:  he 
could  not  do  the  things  that  he  wanted  to  do,  then, 
but  a  fellow  knew  that  it  was  because  he  couldn't 
and  not  because  he  wouldn't!" 

"Oh,  he's  generous  all  right,"  the  man  ad- 
mitted; "he  has  a  bully  way  with  his  money." 

The  talk  to-night  had  been  keen,  crisp  and  clever : 
the  men  were  all  wide  awake  and  each  had  some- 
thing to  contribute  to  the  hour:  it  had  circled 
around  subjects  of  public  and  national  interest; 
politics  and  party  factions  which  make  difficult 
complications;  financial  questions,  which  are  far 
deeper  than  their  terms  indicate,  affecting  the  en- 
tire body  politic  and  involving  the  whole  fabric 
of  democracy :  and  there  was  as  always  the  vexed 
and  complicated  problem  of  Mexico — a  subject 
which,  once  opened  by  thoughtful  and  intelligent 
men,  was  sure  to  incite  argument  and  discussion : 
there  were  various  points  of  view — each  zealously 
held  and  each  set  forth  in  eloquent  or  forensic 


138    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

fashion,  according  to  the  measure  of  the  men  who 
spoke.  A  bleeding  Sister  Republic,  on  the  bor- 
ders of  our  land,  dashing  on  toward  ruin,  the  prey 
of  civil  strife,  was  bound  tot  claim  the  attention 
of  thinking  men,  in  any  event — but  when  that 
opulent  country  was  bearing  fruit  from  Ameri- 
can planting  and  when  its  mines  were  operated  by 
American  gold  and,  above  all,  when  within  its 
borders  were  American  citizens  whose  lives  were 
constantly  endangered — it  became  a  vital  ques- 
tion to  absorb  every  intelligent  man  in  public  life 
and  to  haunt  every  thinker  in  public  or  private 
life.  The  argument  regarding  Mexico  had  been 
animated  this  evening,  for  matters  there  were  at 
a  serious  crisis. 

John  had  been  speaking  well,  and — a  special 
charm  of  his — he  had,  also,  been  listening  well. 

"What  you  say,  Morgan,"  John  continued,  "is 
very  true,  but  how  can  we  form  any  accurate  judg- 
ment of  Mexico?  We  are  so  utterly  ignorant  of 
all  conditions  there :  we  do  not  even  speak  a  com- 
mon language.  In  our  own  country,  with  the 
closest  observation  and  study,  we  find  it  difficult 
to  decide  the  simplest  matter  with  fairness  and 
justice,  and  how  can  we  ,decide  Mexican  problems 
— how  can  we  dare  to  dictate — how  can  we  choose 
between  assassins?  Who  can  say  which  is  the 
best  or  which  is  the  worst — Villa  the  Terrible— 
Carranza  the  Uncertain — or  Huerta  the  Strong?" 

"Villa  and  Carranza,  at  least,  are  for  the 
peons,"  said  Ted  Bemsen,  "and  that  ought  to 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    139 

decide  you,  John,  for  you  always  had  such  a  craze 
for  the  great ' democratic  ideal,'  as  you  call  it." 

1  i  How  can  we  know  they  are  1 ' '  answered  John. 
"If  I  felt  that  Carranza  and  Villa  were  really 
honestly  working  for  the  emancipation  of  the 
peon,  that  would  be  one  thing:  but  if  they  are 
championing  the  peons  to  make  capital — if  they 
are  using  them  as  stepping-stones  for  their  own 
advantage,  then  the  last  state  of  the  poor  peons 
will  be  worse  than  the  first.  It  is  a  crying  wrong 
to  allow  any  portion  of  a  people  to  be  submerged 
— but  it  is  a  greater  wrong  to  use  that  submerged 
portion  for  political  exploitation." 

"But,  good  Heavens,  Wright,  you  wouldn't  go 
back  on  your  democratic  ideal  of  constitutional 
government  and  recognise  Huerta,  would  you?" 

"Certainly,  I  should  recognise  Huerta.  What 
right  have  we  to  obtrude  our  dictum  upon  Mex- 
ico!— What  business  is  it  of  ours? — He  is  presi- 
dent de  facto — as  such  he  is  recognised  in  Mexico : 
as  such  the  European  powers  recognise  him.  We 
have  boasted  to  all  the  world  that  our  aim  is  to 
help  humanity:  and  by  way  of  helping  that  dis- 
tracted country  we  butt  in  to  a  situation  that  we 
don't  understand  and  of  which  we  cannot  judge. 
What  right  have  we  to  stir  up  more  strife  by 
forcing  Huerta  out  ? ' ' 

'  *  But  if  he  is  a  murderer  ? ' '  argued  Ted. 

"What  if  he  is— so  are  they  all!  Shall  the 
United  States  be  the  arbiter  of  murderers? — the 
selecter  of  cut- throats? — A  dignified  position  for 


140    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

the  United  States,  surely!"  John  spoke  impa 
tiently. 

"That  isn't  fair,  John." 

"It  reminds  me,"  John  went  on,  "of  a  big  bully 
who,  seeing  some  starving  poverty-stricken  chil- 
dren ravenously  eating  a  loaf  of  bread,  comes  up 
softly  and  says:  'I  want  to  serve  and  help  you, 
my  dear  children ;  that  bread  was  not  baked  prop- 
erly,' and  then  forthwith  snatches  the  bread  away 
from  the  children — and  leaves  them  to  starve." 

"But  if  he  gives  the  children  good  nutritious 
food  in  the  place  of  the  undigestible  bad-baked 
bread?"  persisted  Ted. 

"Ah!  ///"  John  tossed  his  head:  "Do  you 
mean  the  humane  and  moral  Villa?" 

"Villa  and  Carranza." 

"Mark  my  word,"  John  spoke  eagerly,  "the 
time  will  surely  come  when  we  shall  rue  the  day 
we  played  at  meddling — interfered  without  set- 
tling and  made  the  muddle  more  mixed.  Villa, 
like  a  firebrand,  will  surely  burn  the  bridges  that 
have  been  laid  for  him,  and  Carranza  may  bite 
the  breast  that  has  warmed  him." 

"Have  you  ever  been  in  Mexico?"  asked  Kob- 
ert  Barkley. 

"I  have,  in  my  college  days,"  answered  John: 
"one  of  the  most  beautiful  places  in  the  world — 
its  people,  young  and  old,  ignorant  and  educated, 
have  the  simplicity  of  children.  What  is  called 
their  treachery  comes  from  an  undeveloped  child- 
like quality.  We  could  do  anything  in  the  world 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    141 

with  them! — as  it  is,  our  policy  of  meddling  is 
not  protecting  our  own  citizens  nor  our  property : 
and  it  is  making  a  bitter  spirit  amongst  the  Mex- 
icans that  is  worse  for  us — and  it  is  not  helping 
Mexico — we  are  heaping  horror  upon  horrors." 

"What  nonsense,  John!"  said  Ted:  "We  are 
doing  the  best  we  can. ' ' 

"Are  we!"  John  replied  coolly:  "The  'best  we 
can'  would  be  to  have  a  conference  of  all  the  in- 
telligent, experienced  and  wise  men  of  the  country 
—democrats  and  republicans — to  seriously  and 
earnestly  consult  and  decide  what  is  the  best.  It 
is  not  worthy  of  the  dignity  of  this  country  to 
found  our  policy,  in  such  a  delicate  and  hectic 
situation,  on  private  and  prejudiced  information 
from  private  and  amateur  sources.  Moreover,  we 
are  giving  the  glad  hand — with  ammunition  in  it, 
mind  you! — to  men  whom  we  do  not  know,  upon 
whom  we  cannot  count  and  thereby  we  are  en- 
couraging the  very  demoralisation  that  we  de- 
plore. Suppose  we  banish  Huerta,  and  install 
Villa  or  Carranza — become  their  sponsors — and 
they  go  back  on  us — what  then?" 

"But  they  won't,"  said  Ted:  "I  met  a  man  the 
other  day  who  told  me  he  had  seen  a  lot  of  Villa 
and  that  he  is  a  patriot." 

"And  I  met  a  man,"  broke  in  John,  "who  re- 
fused to  see  a  lot  of  Villa,  because  after  a  brief 
view  of  him  and  a  detailed  report  concerning  him 
my  friend  was  convinced  that  he  was  a  butcher — 
a  fiend  in  human  form — and  as  for  Carranza — my 


142    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

friend  was  convinced  that  he  was  an  oily  treacher- 
ous hypocrite.  There  are  two  opposite  opinions 
— and  we  should  be  mighty  sure  which  is  the  right 
one  before  we  assume  the  risk  of  championing 
the  one  or  the  other.'* 

' '  Huerta  is  the  best  of  the  lot. ' '  Mr.  Gore  spoke 
decidedly. 

"I  think  so  myself,  but  I  don't  know,"  said 
John.  "  I  do  know,  however,  that  we  cannot  judge 
and  I  know  that  we  should  let  the  Mexicans  settle 
the  matter  and  not  interfere — except  to  protect 
our  own  citizens ! ' ' 

"Well,  you  see  if  it  isn't  all  settled  peacefully 
and  satisfactorily  before  1916,"  said  Ted. 

"Doubtless  it  will  be  outwardly  settled,"  re- 
plied John:  "at  the  first  show  of  decision  on  our 
part  Mexico  will  quail  before  us.  We  are  the 
big  bully  and  Mexico  is  the  small  boy  dizzy  with 
dreadful  blows  and  loss  of  blood,  but  our  course 
has  sown  seeds  of  hatred  that,  in  the  far  future, 
will  spring  up — a  Nemesis!" 

"The  Mexicans  are  our  brothers,"  quoted  Ted 
smilingly. 

"We  can't  expect  a  primitive  people  to  under- 
stand that  kind  of  brotherly  love,"  answered 
John  seriously:  "we  land  at  Vera  Cruz,  pull  down 
their  flag,  hoist  our  own  and  take  possession  of 
the  city:  we  mean  it  as  a  fine  friendly  act,  per- 
haps, but  it  looks  rather  different  to  the  poor 
peons  who  translate  brotherliness  by  kindness : 
we  shoot  men  by  the  hundreds — they  are  snipers, 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    143 

perhaps,  and  ought  to  be  shot;  but  to  the  Mexi- 
cans they  are  men — sons,  fathers,  husbands,  whose 
death  must  be  revenged.  The  peons  whom  we 
go  to  save  hate  us  for  our  enterprise  and  our  su- 
periority: they  think  a  dictator  is  a  despot — but 
that  they  understand:  they  think  a  gringo  is  an 
unknown  quantity  which  must  be  gotten  out  of 
the  way  at  any  cost." 

" Thank  Heaven,  here's  a  copy  of  Punch," 
said  Norman  Gore  with  the  gusto  of  an  epicure 
confronted  with  a  favourite  dish :  * '  Wright,  yours 
is  about  the  only  private  house  where  I  ever  see 
Punch,  except  my  own,  and  mine  was  late  this 
week. ' ' 

He  was  soon  lost  in  the  pages  of  the  paper : 

11  Don't  tell  me  the  English  haven't  any  hu- 
mour," he  muttered. 

' '  I  should  certainly  never  dream  of  saying  any- 
thing so  contrary  to  facts,  Gore." 

"You  Americans  always  pretend  you  think  that 
we  haven 't  any  humour. '  * 

' '  Not  I :  the  humour  and  wit  of  the  Englishman 
— especially  if  he  is  a  Celt — are  delicious ! ' '  John 
smiled. 

"  'An  Englishman,  especially  if  he  is  a  Celt !'  I 
like  that!"  drawled  Mr.  Gore. 

"Oh,  come  off,  Gore!  Don't  disprove,  by  illus- 
tration, Wright's  defence  of  your  confounded  hu- 
mour! England,  according  to  the  poet,  is  made 
up  of  Normans,  of  Danes,  of  Saxons  and  of 
Celts." 


144    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

Eobert  Barkley  spoke  with  animation.  John, 
with  the  courtesy  for  which  he  was  conspicuous, 
hastened  to  say: 

"I  have  never  been  able  to  understand  why  that 
strange  perversion  exists :  English  humour  is  an 
intellectual  tonic,  and  English  cartoons  are  inimi- 
table!— exaggerated  sometimes  and  sometimes 
coarse,  as  all  cartoons  are — but  on  the  whole 
screamingly  funny,  humorous  and  witty:  cer- 
tainly cartoons  are  a  criterion  of  wit  and  hu- 
mour. ' ' 

"Eight  you  are!"  exclaimed  Eobert  Barkley: 
"They  are  the  best  criterion  and  they  are  also  the 
best  commentary  upon  the  history  and  life  of  a 
nation. '  * 

'  *  There  was  an  awfully  good  cartoon  in  one  of 
the  New  York  papers,"  said  Ted  Eemsen,  "tak- 
ing off  the  crowd  at  the  Metropolitan  Opera 
House.  Did  you  see  it?  My  eyes!  but  it  was 
funny!  It  was  called  'The  Backsliders' — It  was 
the  women  in  modern  gowns,  seen  from  the  rear 
of  the  boxes!  By  the  way,  John,  I  see  by  the 
papers  that  you  have  bought  a  box  at  the  Metro- 
politan. Is  it  true?" 

"Yes,"  John  answered  simply:  "I  am  awfully 
fond  of  music  and  I  wanted  my  own  box  for  the 
Wagner  Operas." 

"Music?  Holy  Moses!  You  don't  call  that 
Wagner  crash,  smash,  hash,  music,  do  you?  But  I 
shouldn't  mind  having  a  box  myself,"  and  Ted 
Eemsen  made  an  amusing  gesture:  "I  am  not 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    145 

fond  of  that  stuff  you  call  music,  but  I  am  dis- 
tractingly  fond  of  pretty  women — white  shoulders 
and  smart  clothes,  and  it  must  be  bully  to  have  a 
cozy  little  box  to  shut  them  up  in,  where  they 
can't  escape,  and  have  them  all  to  one's  self.  Any- 
thing would  be  bearable  in  those  circumstances — 
even  Dicky  Wagner!'* 

' '  Ted !  And  you  were  on  the  Glee  Club  at  Har- 
vard!" exclaimed  John. 

1 '  Oh,  there  we  had  music!  But  the  noise  of  the 
one  named  Wagner  isn't  music!" 

i  l  We  will  argue  out  that  question  some  day,  and 
I  will  convert  you:  when  you  are  converted  we 
will  go  together  to  'The  Meistersinger, '  and 
there  I  will  make  you  surrender  horse,  foot  and 
dragoon. ' ' 

Ted  brightened. 

"Will  you  ask  Miss  Sally  to  go  the  same 
night?" 

' '  Surely,  I  need  her  help  to  convert  you. ' '  John, 
glancing  around  the  room,  saw  that  the  men  had 
finished  smoking. 

"We  will  go  and  pre-empt  her  this  very  min- 
ute." He  pushed  back  his  chair  from  the  table 
and  led  the  way  to  the  drawing-room. 


CHAPTER   XI 

THE  women  in  the  drawing-room  heard  the 
sound  of  voices  and  steps  in  the  hall.  Instantly 
and  almost  imperceptibly  a  wave  of  attention 
stirred  the  circle — some  of  the  women  put  their 
hands  adjustingly  over  their  hair  and  slyly  re- 
arranged details  of  their  garments.  Sally  watched 
them  out  of  the  corners  of  her  quick  eyes — a  half 
smile  on  her  bright  lips:  and  a  loving  tribute  in 
her  eyes  as  she  looked  at  Mrs.  Barkley,  who  never 
concerned  herself  with  herself  after  she  and  her 
maid  had  once  given  the  matter  of  her  toilette 
careful  consideration:  Grace  Barkley  made  no 
effort  to  hold  men  by  any  artifice  of  manner  or 
of  toilette.  After  she  had  studied  her  toilette  care- 
fully— which  she  considered  a  social  duty — she 
dismissed  the  subject  with  spacious  unconcern. 
Her  enemies  said  that  it  was  because  ' '  she  was  so 
self-satisfied  she  felt  she  could  not  be  improved," 
but  her  friends  said  that  it  was  because  ' '  she  had 
so  little  self  -consciousness. "  Be  that  as  it  may, 
she  was  never  known  to  fuss  or  fidget  with  her 
chiffons  nor  to  push  and  pull  her  ornaments.  Per- 
haps it  was  this  very  quality  of  complete  self- 
f orgetfulness  which  made  her  especially  charming 
— so  Sally  thought. 

146 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    147 

A  servant  opened  the  velvet  curtains  of  the 
drawing-room  and  the  men  entered:  last  of  all 
came  John:  he  stood  for  a  moment  against  the 
crimson  background  as  the  curtains  fell  behind 
him :  he  seemed  a  fitting  master  for  this  sumptu- 
ous room — a  fitting  host  for  this  bright  array. 

He  went  at  once  to  Sally:  Ted  Eemsen  fol- 
lowed him.  Sally  gave  them  a  welcoming  smile. 

"Miss  Sally,  I  need  your  help:  may  I  count 
on  you?" 

"Say  yes,  Miss  Sally — please  say  yes!"  cried 
Ted. 

'  *  With  pleasure,  Mr.  Wright.  What  is  it — slum- 
ming or  campaigning?  It  is  all  one  to  a  woman, 
so  long  as  she  is  in  the  lime-light." 

"It  is  educational." 

"Teaching?    Good!    I  love  to  teach !" 

"Bully!"  said  Ted:  "You  will  bear  witness, 
John,  to  Miss  Sally's  public  confession  that  she 
loves  to  teach.  You  are  committed,  Miss  Sally 
— you've  promised!  I  am  the  pupil!" 

"Heavens,  what  a  contract!"  said  Sally:  then 
she  straightened  herself  with  mock  solemnity  and 
spoke  in  mimicry  of  a  certain  well-known  peda- 
gogue in  New  York — "Modern  education  is — as 
one  derivation  of  the  word  implies — 'a  drawing 
out!'  May  I  ask  what  is  to  be  drawn  out  in  this 
instance?"  She  looked  bewitchingly  pretty. 

"My  word!"  said  Ted  dejectedly,  "when  you 
look  like  that  you  may  draw  out  any  old  thing 


148    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

from  my  hair  to  my  eye-teeth  and  I  won't  give  a 
wink. ' ' 

"I  will  leave  you  with  your  pupil,  Miss  Sally,*' 
said  John,  "but  first  may  I  ask  a  favour  of  you? 
Will  you  give  me  the  evening  of  the  thirtieth? 
After  you  have  had  two  weeks  to  work  your 
genius  upon  this  scholar,  to  teach  him  an  ap- 
preciation of  Wagner,  I  want  your  presence  at 
'The  Meistersinger '  to  see  him  capitulate,  as  the 
result  of  your  instruction.  He  now  assaults  Wag- 
ner's music  ahominahly — he  needs  enlighten- 
ment. ' ' 

"Oh,  I  know,"  said  Sally,  "he  never  goes  to  a 
Wagner  Opera,  and  yet  he  keeps  the  mulish  ob- 
stinacy of  ignorance;  I  have  often  thought  of 
taking  him  in  hand,  but  I  hadn't  the  patience  nor 
the  courage:  now  I  will  do  so  for  your  sake." 

"Thank  you,  Miss  Sally,"  said  John;  and 
added:  "Will  you  dine  with  Mr.  Eemsen  and  me 
— and  a  chaperon,  of  course — and  go  to  the 
Opera,  on  the  thirtieth?" 

' '  Thanks,  Mr.  Wright.  May  I  let  you  know  to- 
morrow? I  must  look  at  my  calendar — I  think  I 
am  engaged  every  night  for  a  year  ahead !  Some 
of  my  engagements  can  be  adjusted  and  some 
cannot.  May  I  see  what  I  can  do  about  the  thir- 
tieth? I  would  do  anything,  short  of  crime,  for 
'The  Meistersinger' — I  am  not  sure  that  I  would 
stop  at  crime ! — I  think  I  can  arrange  it. ' ' 

"Bully  for  you,  Miss  Sally!"  cried  Ted:  "We 


will  meister  together  and  'we  will  sing'  together, 
and  John  will  beat  the  tom-tom." 

"Let  me  know  at  your  convenience,  Miss  Sally," 
said  John,  as  he  walked  away. 

1 '  Go  on,  Sally ! ' '  said  Ted.  ' '  Begin — amo,  amas, 
amat " 

"You  don't  suppose  I  am  going  to  teach  any- 
thing so  old-fashioned  as  LOVE,  do  you?" 

"I  hope  so,"  sighed  Ted.  "According  to  an 
old  College  song,  which  my  Father  used  to  sing 
in  his  time,  that  blessed  verb  is,  really,  very  mod- 
ern and  advanced. 

"  'Amo,  amas,  I  loved  a  lass, 
And  she  was  tall  and  slender! 

"  'Amo,  amat,  she  knocked  me  flat, 
Although  of  the  feminine  gender ! ' 

That's  jolly  modern,  isn't  it? — quite  up  to  date — 
realism — feminism  and  all  that  sort  of  thing." 

"You  goose!"  said  Sally. 

"Teacher,  let's  begin  with  zoology — bend  your 
great  intellect  to  my  limitations:  How  can  a 
creature  be  a  mule  and  a  goose  at  the  same  time!" 

Through  the  interminable  time  of  smoking,  and 
through  the  hour  of  separation  by  the  length 
of  the  long  dining-table,  John  had  waited  im- 
patiently since  eight  o  'clock  for  the  moment  with 
Mrs.  "Winthrop — and  therefore  he  walked  straight 
to  Mrs.  Barkley:  she  was  talking  with  Horace 
Winthrop. 


150    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Oh!"  she  exclaimed,  glad  of  a  diversion, 
"How  wonderful  'The  New  Day'  is — I  am  so  glad 
you  bought  it !  Robert  and  I  saw  it  at  Knoedler 's 
— we  wanted  to  buy  it,  but  we  might  as  well  have 
thought  of  paying  the  National  Debt — it  was  so 
far  beyond  us." 

"Have  you  looked  at  it  from  the  other  side  of 
the  room?"  John's  tone  betrayed  that  he  was 
speaking  of  something  dear  and  valued — "That 
is  a  better  light.  May  I  show  it  to  you  from 
there?  Come,  Winthrop."  John  turned  to  Mrs. 
Barkley :  ' '  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Winthrop  were  with  me 
when  I  first  saw  the  picture  and  I  had  the  benefit 
of  their  judgment:  Mr.  Winthrop  is  an  excellent 
judge  of  pictures,  you  know."  John  had  touched 
Horace  Winthrop  at  his  point  of  pride. 

"I  envy  and  congratulate  you,  Wright,"  he 
said:  "it  is  a  gem — I  should  have  bought  it  if  I 
had  seen  it  before  you  did." 

Mrs.  Barkley  rose,  quite  conscious  that  she  was 
the  envy  of  the  other  women,  and  walked  with 
John  to  the  new  picture,  sat  in  the  chair  which 
he  turned  for  her,  and  gave  herself  up  to  the 
contemplation  of  the  marvel  before  her.  By  the 
hand  of  the  artist,  the  world  of  spring-time  and  of 
beauty — softly  shadowed  by  the  mystery  of  dawn- 
light — had  been  brought  within  the  four  walls  of 
the  stone  house  on  this  winter  night.  Mrs.  Bark- 
ley  was  conspicuous  for  sharing  the  favours  that 
Fate  threw  in  her  way :  moreover,  she  was  keenly, 
cleverly  conscious  of  the  advantages  of  a  sym- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    151 

pathetic  appreciation  of  the  enthusiasms  of  her 
host. 

"Ameda — Robert — Sally!"  she  called,  "come 
—and  see  the  picture  from  here."  They  came 
and  others  followed  them:  there  was  much  en- 
thusiasm over  the  truly  great  work  of  art — the 
atmosphere,  the  perspective,  the  colour. 

' '  It  certainly  is  great ! ' '  said  Horace  Winthrop, 
with  the  air  of  authority  as  he  studied  it. 

"I  say,  but  it's  swell,"  said  one  of  the  men, 
who,  also,  prided  himself  on  his  knowledge  of  art. 

"What  a  peculiar  light!"  said  Mrs.  Vaughn — a 
young  bride.  "I  never  saw  just  such  a  light." 

There  was  a  general  laugh. 

"It  is  the  dawn  just  before  sunrise,  Mrs. 
Vaughn.  Did  you  never  see  the  dawn?" 

' '  Why,  how  can  it  be  the  dawn  ? ' '  said  this  naive 
lady:  "Look  at  the  star  in  the  sky." 

John's  eyes  twinkled :  "Allow  me  to  present  to 
you  the  morning  star,  Madame." 

Mrs.  Vaughn  was  a  trifle  embarrassed: 

"Oh,  of  course!  How  stupid  of  me!  But  I  do 
not  think  that  many  of  you  have  ever  seen  the 
dawn  or  the  sunrise,"  Mrs.  Vaughn  spoke  de- 
fiantly, recovering  her  self-possession. 

"I  agree  with  you,  Mrs.  Vaughn,  women  are 
usually  asleep  when  we  come  home  from  dinners," 
said  one  of  the  men. 

Sally,  who  was  standing  a  little  apart,  heard 
the  remark  and  said: 


152    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Evidently  you  have  never  been  in  camp, 
Mrs.  Vaughn,  or  you  would  have  seen  sunrises 
and  dawns  galore — the  Heavens  are  our  movies 
in  camp:  dawn — sunrise — high  noon — sunset — 
moonlight — move  in  splendid  procession :  but  the 
dawn  is  the  best  of  all!  Oh,  it  is  wonderful — 
beautiful!" 

"Sally,"  whispered  Ted,  who  was  standing  be- 
side her,  "is  Mrs.  Vaughn  plain  fooling  or  is  she 
fibbing?" 

"Neither,"  said  Sally,  "she  hasn't  the  faintest 
conception  of  dawn :  she  looks  as  though  she  only 
knew  curtains  and  candle-light — poor  thing!" 

"You  can't  fool  your  Uncle  Dudley!  She  must 
know  the  sunrise — every  one  does — she  is  fool- 
ing!" 

"She  is  not!9'  said  Sally  decidedly:  "It's  per- 
fectly amazing  but,  really,  there  are  many  per- 
sons who  have  never  seen  a  sunrise — much  less 
a  dawn — it  is  surprising  how  few  persons  know 
the  best  in  life!" 

"I  do !"  said  Ted,  looking  at  Sally  with  adoring 
eyes.  Sally  continued  as  though  she  had  not  heard 
the  personal  interjection. 

"They  never  see  Nature  except  when  She  is 
in  full  dress  all  tricked  out  in  fancy  frills  for  a 
fete  or  a  lawn-party.  Why,  just  imagine!  I  read 
the  other  day  that  when  Christina  Eossetti  was 
over  forty  years  old  she  saw  the  sunrise  for  the 
first  time  in  her  life:  some  one  took  her  to  see 
it  and  she  was  wonder-struck,  it  was  a  perfectly 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    153 

new  phenomenon  to  her — think  of  it! — and  she 
was  a  poet!" 

"Christina  Eossetti  a  poet?  Thunder  and 
Mars!  I  hope  your  curriculum  doesn't  include  a 
course  in  her  poetry — 'Butter  and  eggs  and  a 
pound  of  cheese — Butter  and  eggs  and  a  pound 
of  cheese,'  "  droned  Ted  in  solemn  tones. 

Sally  turned  flashing  eyes  upon  him. 

"How  dare  you  make  fun  of  Christina  Bossetti 
— you  irreverent  creature ! ' ' 

"It's  not  my  irreverence,  it's  Calverley — have 
you  never  read  Calverley?" 

"No,  and  if  he  parodies  Christina  Eossetti  I 
don't  want  to  read  him!" 

"Yes,  you  do!  You  must  not  miss  Calverley 
from  life — he's  ripping!  I'll  send  you  a  copy  to- 
morrow ;  but,  anyway,  the  lady  parodies  herself — 

*O  Mother,  Mary  Mother, 
Lost,  lost,  all  lost,  between  Hell  and  Heaven ! '  ; 

"That's  not  Christina,  you  stupid — that's 
Dante  Gabriel  Eossetti." 

"Well,  I  may  not  know  which  it  is,  but  I  know 
what  it  is  mighty  well ! ' ' 

"What  is  it?"  For  once  Sally  was  off  her 
guard. 

"It's  standing  between  you  and  that  raging, 
roaring,  mob ! ' '  and  Ted  indicated  by  a  nod  of  his 
head  the  animated  group  around  the  picture. 

"How  frightfully  impolite  you  are,  Ted!" 


154    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Oh,  come  to  the  conservatory,  Sally — please 
come  and  educate  me — come  and  draw  out  what's 
in  me — you'll  like  it,  truly  you  will;  it's 

"Hush,  Ted,  you  must  be  sensible!"  and  Sally 
moved  toward  the  group.  John  was  still  gazing 
at  the  picture.  Sally  had  not  heard  what  had  been 
said,  but  she  heard  John's  answer:  he  spoke  ab- 
sently, quietly,  with  his  eyes  still  upon  it. 

"Indeed,  I  know  the  dawn — every  light  and 
shade  of  it — I  have  been  out  many  a  morning  in 
that  very  light  waiting  for  the  sunrise — and  when 
the  sun  rose,  then  I  followed  the  plough." 

The  men  exchanged  glances — they  were  star- 
tled, not  by  the  fact  but  by  John's  frank  way  of 
admitting  the  fact.  The  women  looked  quickly  at 
John ;  the  contrast  between  his  immaculate  dress, 
his  air  of  elegance,  and  his  words,  with  the  rem- 
iniscent look  in  his  eyes — as  he  gazed  at  the  pic- 
ture and  seemed  to  be  wandering  upon  those  dewy 
hills — stirred  the  romance  in  the  hearts  of  the 
women.  Most  women,  however  conventional  or 
worldly  they  may  be,  have  a  latent  something 
which  makes  them,  in  their  leisure  hours,  turn  to 
books  of  high  adventure  to  forget,  in  their  pages, 
the  world  which  they  so  slavishly  follow.  The 
unusualness  of  John's  frankness,  the  straight- 
forward admission  of  his  past,  balanced  by  the 
present  personality  of  the  man,  held  a  fascina- 
tion for  the  women ;  but  no  one  knew  just  what  to 
say:  the  glib  tongues  were  silenced.  Mrs.  "Win- 
throp — who  had  a  wholly  unsolicited  and  wholly 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    155 

unnecessary  sense  of  responsibility  about  John — 
was  a  little  frightened,  not  knowing  what  this 
mood — new  to  her — might  mean :  fearing  he  would 
go  too  far,  with  quick  tact  and  readiness,  she  tried 
to  give  the  situation  a  safe  turn: 

"All  Hail!  Cincinnatus,"  she  said  lightly,  and 
bowed  to  John  charmingly. 

"Isn't  he  splendid?"  Sally  whispered  to  Ted, 
who  had  followed  her. 

"You  bet  he  is!  I  always  told  you  so!"  Ted 
whispered  back. 

"A  modern  Cincinnatus,  upon  my  word!"  said 
Robert  Barkley,  slapping  John  on  the  back. 

1 '  Pardon  me, ' '  John  answered, '  *  it  was  nothing 
so  ambitious.  Do  you  know,  I  have  always  thought 
that  Cincinnatus'  attitude  was  something  of  a 
pose." 

"A  pose?11 

"Yes :  a  very  delightful  pose,  if  you  will — a  pose 
that  came  from  self-deception,  if  you  choose — 
but  still  a  pose:  Cincinnatus  had  the  Senate  of 
Borne  and  a  high  place  in  the  State  as  the  back- 
ground to  his  plough :  I  had  no  outlet  beyond  the 
furrows  of  the  soil — except  the  gate  of  the  farm, 
which  led  to — to  the  apple  orchard." 

What  was  that  look  in  John's  eyes?  It  was 
like  a  sharp  prick  to  the  Parisian  heart  of  Mrs. 
Winthrop:  she  thought  it  wise  and  prudent  to 
bring  John  back  from  apple  orchards  and  sun- 
rise mysteries  to  the  present :  she  turned  with  her 
most  bewitching  air: 


156    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Most  gracious  host,  when  are  we  to  have  the 
delights  that  you  have  prepared  for  us?'* 

Mrs.  Winthrop  was  conscious  that  John  had 
to  stride  over  a  great  gulf  to  get  back  to  her  and 
to  the  moment. 

' '  Do  you  mean  the  Russian  dancers  ?  "  he  asked : 
"they  are  to  begin  at  ten- thirty.  I  think  it  must 
be  that  now." 

As  if  Fate  were  working  on  Mrs.  Winthrop 's 
behalf,  a  servant  at  that  moment  drew  the  cur- 
tains at  the  entrance  to  the  ball-room  and  at  once 
an  eager  animation  took  possession  of  the  guests ; 
at  John's  suggestion  they  began  to  move  into  the 
ball-room.  Mrs.  Winthrop  stopped  to  look  for  her 
gloves.  "Lost  by  design,"  Grace  Barkley  whis- 
pered to  Ted  in  passing.  John,  the  courteous 
host,  lingered  to  assist  in  the  search. 

"The  dinner  was  perfect,  John,"  Mrs.  Win- 
throp whispered. 

"You  are  here,  Mrs.  Winthrop,"  he  answered, 
"that  insures  perfection." 

"Will  you  come  to-morrow,  at  five?"  The  look 
that  she  gave  him  would  have  made  the  blood 
of  an  older  and  a  colder  man  than  John  stir 
quickly  in  his  pulses. 

' '  Do  you  realise  that  is  eighteen-and-a-half  long 
hours  away?" 

She  laughed  lightly: 

"How  could  you  calculate  so  quickly?  I  should 
have  to  have  pencil  and  paper.  But  they  will  be 
dancing — we  must  go." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    157 

"No  one  will  dance — nothing  will  happen  until 
you  arrive." 

John  spoke  with  the  air  of  an  autocrat:  she 
could  afford  now  to  go  into  the  other  room  and 
let  things  take  their  course :  that  reminiscent  look 
in  John's  eyes  was  entirely  gone:  it  was  doubt- 
less nothing;  a  memory  of  his  boyhood — the 
thought  of  his  mother,  for  whom  it  was  well  known 
he  had  a  tender  sentiment;  and  sentiment  gives 
flavour  to  life,  if  it  is  not  too  obtrusive  nor  too 
apparent. 


CHAPTER  XH 

ONE  bright  morning  in  February  John  sat  read- 
ing his  morning  papers.  As  the  clock  struck  he 
pushed  back  his  chair  in  haste,  threw  down  the 
editorial  sheet,  muttering  to  himself — 

"They  shouldn't  write  so  well  if  a  man  is  to 
keep  his  appointments.  Is  the  car  at  the  door?" 
he  called. 

"Yes,  sir,"  answered  a  servant. 

John  looked  hastily  at  his  watch. 

"I  am  five  minutes  late.  Peterson  can  make 
it." 

The  morning  exit  of  John,  especially  when  he 
was  in  a  hurry,  was  one  of  the  smaller  incidents 
which  illustrated  his  lordly  dominion  in  his  new 
world.  His  valet  stood,  observant,  ready  with  his 
fur-lined  coat :  his  secretary  was  always  flying  at 
his  orders  up  the  stairs  to  his  den  for  last-remem- 
bered papers:  the  butler  came  from  the  dining- 
room  and  stood  in  the  dignity  of  his  office  waiting 
for  any  order  that  might  be  flung  to  him :  a  foot- 
man with  alertness  opened  the  door  of  the  house 
for  the  Master  to  pass  out:  a  footman  from  the 
car  opened  the  door  of  the  car  and  took  out  the 
fur  rug  to  place  correctly  over  the  Master's  knees 
when  he  entered  his  elaborate  limousine.  It  all 

158 


happened  with  the  regularity  and  despatch  of 
military  precision. 

An  impersonal  realisation  of  it  flashed  upon 
John's  brain  this  morning  notwithstanding  his 
haste ;  it  satisfied  his  sense  of  fitness  that  on  this 
special  day,  he,  John  Eemington  Wright,  should 
be  so  served. 

He  was  to  meet  Winthrop,  Barkley,  Eemsen  and 
some  other  prominent  men  at  the  Metropolitan 
Museum — to  look  with  them  at  some  splendid  pic- 
tures he  had  given  to  the  Museum.  By  a  happy 
chance  a  famous  collection  of  old  Masters  had 
been  sold  in  London  when  he  was  abroad;  and 
John,  with  the  enthusiasm  of  a  boy,  inwardly,  but 
outwardly  with  the  composure  and  finesse  of  a 
man  who  might  have  been  long-accustomed  to  such 
purchases,  had  bought  four  splendid  canvases  to 
give  to  the  city  in  his  uncle's  name. 

They  had  been  approved  with  enthusiasm,  and 
accepted  by  the  Committee.  They  had  been  hung 
the  day  before.  John  was  impatient  to  see  them 
once  again,  and  to  show  them  to  his  friends,  who 
were  keen  with  interest  and  curiosity  regarding 
the  gift. 

John  turned  his  intellectual  cleverness  to  all 
matters  of  social  procedure.  He  had  the  wit  to 
know  that  it  is  a  great  mistake  to  force  one 's  self 
upon  the  public  directly,  even  in  generosity  or 
philanthropy.  Old  John  Eemington  had  not  cared 
for  art,  but  his  name  was  well  established,  and 
he  was  a  great  power  in  the  financial  world  of 


160    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

New  York ;  so  John  gave  the  pictures  in  his  uncle 's 
name  and  kept  himself  out  of  the  lime-light.  By 
so  doing  he  gained  the  more  prestige  from  his 

gift. 

He  had  awakened  this  morning  full  of  a  delight- 
ful thrill  of  anticipation.  Before  he  bought  them 
he  had  taken  great  pains  to  have  them  passed 
upon  by  expert  authorities,  that  he  might  ascer- 
tain their  value,  although  his  own  intuitive  sense 
had  been  sure  of  their  interest  and  their  supreme 
beauty. 

Was  there  anything  more  satisfying,  more  beau- 
tiful, than  the  Tintoretto  with  its  living  vivid 
colour  throbbing  behind  the  sombre  veil  which 
the  centuries  had  laid  over  the  canvas? — the 
graceful  women,  the  bearded  men  and  the  little 
curved  and  dimpled  children  were  alive!  He  had 
not  seen  them  since  that  day  in  London,  months 
before :  now  he  was  to  see  them  hung  by  his  will 
in  the  city  to  which  he  belonged  by  right  of  an- 
cestry, if  not  by  right  of  birth. 

As  he  ran  quickly  down  the  steps  impatient  to 
be  off,  he  was  aware  of  a  man,  in  tattered  and 
soiled  clothes,  lolling  by  the  limousine.  Some 
power  stronger  than  his  will  made  John  pause, 
notwithstanding  his  great  haste:  it  was  only  for 
a  second  but  in  one  swift  appraising  glance  he 
took  in  the  whole  aspect  of  the  man :  his  dirt,  his 
dogged  air,  his  general  aspect  of  wretchedness. 
He  had  an  evil  face  with  bloodshot  shifty  eyes  I  A 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    161 

chilly  wave  swept  through  John 's  veins :  for  some 
curious  reason  he  felt  like  a  runner  stopped  in  a 
race  by  a  death-cold  hand  when  he  is  nearing  the 
goal :  he  hesitated  for  a  moment  and  then  sprang 
into  the  car — the  footman  put  the  rug  over  him 
with  precise  care : 

"Tell  Peterson  he  must  be  at  the  Metropolitan 
Museum  in  five  minutes." 

"Yes,  Sir." 

The  footman  touched  his  hat  and  jumped  into 
his  place.  Before  the  car  could  start,  the  man 
darted  forward  and  thrust  his  head  in  at  the 
window  of  the  car. 

"Say,  mister " 

"I'm  sorry,"  said  John  quickly,  "but  I  am  in 
a  great  hurry.  Ring  the  bell  and  ask  for  Mrs. 
Rawley,  the  housekeeper;  tell  her  I  said  to  give 
you  whatever  you  need." 

Into  the  shifty  bloodshot  eyes  came  a  vindictive 
look :  the  man  kept  his  hand  on  the  window  of  the 
car: 

"Say,  it's  you  I  want,  not  your  housekeeper; 
and  it's  you  I'll  have." 

"Go  on,  Peterson,"  John  called  impatiently. 
The  car  began  to  move  and  the  man  was  jolted 
backward. 

In  five  minutes  John  was  at  the  Metropolitan 
Museum  and  the  gentlemen  who  had  gathered  to 
meet  him  were  welcoming  him  with  enthusiasm, 
warmth  and  acclaim. 


162    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

The  next  morning  John  awakened  with  sensuous 
delight  hovering  in  his  memory — fair  women  and 
dimpled  children  with  glowing  faces  and  shining 
hair  moved  before  him:  a  great  curtain  of  royal 
purple  was  caught  back  before  his  closed  eyes 
revealing  in  the  background  a  landscape  and  a 
horizon  that  melted  into  beauty  of  colour — inef- 
fable, indescribable.  He  had  a  sense  of  having 
been  in  some  far-off,  much-desired  place:  as  he 
became  more  fully  awake  there  obtruded  am6ngst 
the  subtle  Venetian  folk  the  keen  American  faces 
of  his  friends. 

John  turned  his  thoughts  away  from  the  mod- 
ern magnates  and  gave  himself  up  to  seeing  once 
again  with  closed  eyes  those  little  children  so 
inexpressibly  lovely — and — what  was  that? — that 
face  so  evil — so  repellent?  Notwithstanding  the 
warmth  of  his  downy  covering  his  flesh  was  rough- 
ened by  a  chill  into  goose  flesh.  Why  did  that 
face  obtrude  amongst  the  cherubs  ?  In  which  pic- 
ture was  it?  Ah !  it  was  not  in  any  one  of  the  pic- 
tures :  it  was  the  face  of  the  man  who  had  stood 
beside  the  limousine  when  he  had  hurried  away 
to  see  his  splendid  gift  to  the  City:  the  man  who 
had  looked  at  him  with  bloodshot  vindictive  eyes : 
the  man  for  whom  he  had  not  stopped  on  his 
triumphant  way. 


CHAPTER  XIH 

"WILL  you  have  cream? — and  is  it  one  lump — 
or  two?" 

Mrs.  Winthrop's  intonation  made  this  tiresome 
commonplace  sound  like  the  beginning  of  a  song. 

"One,  please,"  answered  John,  "and  no 
cream." 

Mrs.  Winthrop  began  delving  her  antique  sugar- 
tongs  into  the  priceless  bowl  to  find  the  sugar,  an 
occupation  which  showed  her  beautiful  hand  and 
finely  curved  wrist  to  perfection.  John  looked 
admiringly  at  the  woman,  sitting  at  her  well- 
ordered  tea  table:  art  and  nature  had  mar- 
vellously combined  to  produce  a  finished  product : 
beauty  and  culture  of  face,  beauty  and  culture  of 
voice,  and  consummate  skill  in  dress  made  a  re- 
sult that  would  be  difficult  to  equal. 

During  the  past  month  John  had  been  coming 
more  and  more  under  the  spell  of  this  subtle  siren 
of  the  senses.  She  was  clever  and  John  had  be- 
gun by  enjoying  her  cleverness,  impersonally,  but 
the  spell  of  her  personality  had  begun  to  weave 
itself  around  him:  the  sensuous  satisfaction  in 
her  presence  had  gotten  to  be  something  akin  to 
drink  or  opium :  each  time  he  let  himself  yield  to 

163 


164    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

the  intoxication  he  found  it  harder  to  resist  the 
next  time.  As  yet,  he  was  thoroughly  master  of 
himself  and,  therefore,  he  was  master  of  her  imag- 
ination, such  as  she  had :  he  piqued  her  while  he 
charmed  her  because  there  was  in  him  a  baffling 
something  which  she  could  not  quite  break  down. 

When  Ameda  Wlnthrop  could  not  break  down 
a  man  she  could  generally  lull  him  to  forgetful- 
ness  :  her  low  purling  voice  had  a  narcotic  quality : 
even  when  John  heard  it  in  conversation  with  an- 
other, whilst  he  was  chatting  with  some  one  else, 
he  was  conscious  of  a  strange  allurement.  The 
fine  finish  of  her  beauty  was  a  satisfaction  to  him : 
and  whilst  he  felt  no  sense  of  inspiration  from 
any  vital  sympathy  with  his  thoughts,  he  felt  his 
mental  feathers  stroked  the  right  way  by  an  out- 
ward agreement  with  his  theories,  his  opinions  and 
his  flights. 

It  had  come  to  be  a  frequent  habit  with  him  to 
drop  in  at  this  hour  for  a  word  with  her — a  sight 
of  her  in  her  restfully  harmonious  setting.  Her 
rooms  had  a  peculiar  charm :  they  were  very  for- 
eign and  yet,  at  the  same  time,  they  were  essen- 
tially home-like:  when  one  sat  amidst  their  soft 
colour-tones — amidst  the  unusual  combination  of 
rare,  antique,  artistic  and  feminine  things,  and 
talked  of  international  politics,  literature  and  gos- 
sip, one  felt  in  touch  with  the  great  world,  and 
yet  quite  apart  from  the  rush  of  modern  life. 

This  bleak  March  afternoon  it  seemed  especially 
reposeful  to  John,  for  it  had  been  a  busy  day  of 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    165 

bothersome  details.  The  monotonous,  exacting 
grind  of  duties  connected  with  the  estate  was  get- 
ting to  be  more  and  more  of  a  bore. 

Mrs.  Winthrop  found  the  lump  of  precise  pro- 
portions, poured  the  tea  and  handed  the  cup  to 
John. 

"I  know,"  she  murmured  in  her  dulcet  tones, 
''you  dislike  cream  and  take  always  only  one 
lump  of  sugar  and  that  a  very  tiny  one." 

"May  I  inquire,  Madame,"  John  said,  as  he 
took  the  cup,  "why  you  did  me  the  honour  to  ask 
my  preference,  when  you  did  me  the  greater 
honour  to  remember  it?" 

Ameda  Winthrop  smiled  her  subtle  smile;  she 
was  silent  for  a  moment  whilst  by  her  magnetic 
projection  electric  currents  were  set  in  swift 
vibration. 

"If  I  were  to  tell  you,  Mr.  Wright,  I  should  be 
betraying  the  secrets  of  the  fortress." 

"Do  you  live  in  a  fortress,  Madame?  I  had 
not  felt  anything  so  formidable  in  your  presence." 

"That  is  because  of  my  perfect  strategy — but 
under  the  soft  banks  of  heaped  green  is  a  solid 
wall  of  defence  bristling  with  loaded  guns." 

"Indeed?    Is  there  then  war  between  us?" 

"Oh,  no,  at  present  there  is  peace."  She  sipped 
her  tea  a  moment,  then  added:  "But  I  am  a 
staunch  advocate  of  Defence:  you  and  I  never 
quarrel — because  I  am  always  prepared  for  war." 

John  laid  down  his  teacup. 


166    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"The  gates  of  my  fortress  have  opened  wide,'* 
he  said. 

' '  There  is  no  enemy  so  deadly  dangerous  as  the 
one  who  is  strong  enough  to  open  the  gates, ' '  she 
murmured;  "one  must  beware  then  of  all  times." 

' '  The  gates  of  my  fortress  are  open  wide — will 
you  come  in,  Ameda?" 

It  was  the  first  time  John  had  called  her  by  her 
name — she  felt  her  pulses  quicken:  Ameda  Win- 
throp  Jiad  long  ago  lost  the  power  of  the  sensitive 
to  blush,  but  when  she  drooped  her  beautiful  eye- 
lids with  their  long  golden-brown  lashes,  it  seemed 
to  John  as  if  she  had  blushed. 

"Is  that  a  confession  that  you  are  dangerous?" 
she  said  softly,  lifting  her  eyes. 

"Is  your  question  a  confession  that  you  are 
afraid?"  John  held  her  gaze. 

"Perhaps." 

There  was  a  pause:  then  she  added  in  her  low 
singing  voice, 

"And  if  it  is?" 

She  pushed  back  her  chair,  turning  from  the 
table.  John  rose  and  stood  beside  her.  As  he 
stood  there  looking  down  upon  her  the  subcon- 
scious part  of  her  mind  registered,  above  the  de- 
licious thrill  of  the  moment,  the  fact  that  he  was 
a  most  attractive,  compelling  creature  and  very 
good  to  look  at. 

The  way  his  close-cropped  hair  grew  on  his 
forehead,  the  way  his  clear  strong  eyes  defied  all 
external  conventions,  the  illusive  whimsical  smile 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    167 

around  the  corners  of  his  mouth,  were  all  charm- 
ing, she  thought:  even  the  fit  of  his  clothes  and 
the  fold  of  his  necktie  did  not  escape  her. 

' '  There  is  only  one  way  to  conquer  fear. ' '  His 
voice  was  tense :  "Do  you  know  what  that  way  is, 
Ameda?" 

She  did  not  answer  him  with  words;  she  rose, 
went  to  the  table  where,  in  a  rare  bowl  of  carved 
jade,  were  some  fresh  violets  which  John  had  sent 
her  in  the  morning.  She  selected  a  little  bunch  and 
brought  it  to  John :  he  graciously  inclined  his  head 
as  she  placed  the  violets  in  his  button-hole,  but  he 
did  not  speak :  a  fierce  impulse  was  strong  within 
him  to  take  her  in  his  arms  to  break  through  the 
polished  surface  which  veneered  her,  contradicted 
by  her  eyes,  but  some  power  stronger  than  his 
passion  held  him  in  check. 

A  sound  of  footsteps  in  the  hall!  the  curtains 
opened  and  Mrs.  Barkley  entered,  bringing  with 
her  a  festive  air  of  the  outside  world. 

"How  do  you  do,  Ameda?"  she  said  in  her 
buoyant  way:  "You  see,  I  have  succeeded  in  steal- 
ing my  moment — at  last.  I  am  a  brave  woman, 
I  assure  you,  for  I  had  to  run  the  gauntlet  of  a 
mad  committee  to  make  my  escape,  to  go  home  to 
dress  early  that  I  might  stop  here  before  going 
to  Mrs.  Ogden's  tea.  I  vowed  another  week 
should  not  pass  without  my  coming  to  this  charm- 
ing room  and  its  charming  mistress — 0  John,  you 
here!  I  am  so  glad  to  see  you!" 


168    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

Mrs.  Winthrop  covered  her  deep  annoyance  at 
the  interruption  with  honeyed  phrases:  but  she 
was  mentally  planning  the  outline  of  a  sharp  re- 
proof she  would  give  the  footman  for  disobeying 
orders  in  admitting  any  one,  as  she  poured  out 
verbally  her  rapture  at  seeing  Mrs.  Barkley,  and 
her  appreciation  of  Mrs.  Barkley 's  efforts. 

' '  Are  you  going  to  the  tea,  Ameda  ? ' '  asked  Mrs. 
Barkley. 

"Mon  Dieu,  no!    Teas  bore  me." 

"  Certainly, "  Mrs.  Barkley  gave  a  long  sigh, 
"they  bore  every  one  to  extinction." 

"Then,  why  go,  Mrs.  Barkley?"  John  asked, 
amused. 

"Because  I  promised,  fool  that  I  was,  I  prom- 
ised. Once  I  met  a  woman  who  said,  */  make  it 
a  rule  never  to  have  an  intimate  woman  friend.' 
Amazed,  I  asked  her  why,  and  she  said  with  the 
utmost  naivete,  'I  am  afraid!  Intimacy  gives  a 
woman  the  right  to  come  upstairs  when  you  are 
ill,  and  then  you  are  always  off  guard;  you  feel 
a  miserable  rag — as  blue  as  ink — and  before  you 
know  it  you  have  confided  all  your  secrets.'  I 
know  just  how  she  felt." 

"Why?  Do  you  follow  her  example?"  said 
Mrs.  "Winthrop. 

' '  I  ? — indeed,  no !  I  have  more  women  than  men 
friends,  or  as  many — and  I  never  tell  any  of  my 
secrets — I  have  found  a  clever  way  to  avoid  doing 
that — but,  unfortunately,  I  do  the  next  worst 
thing ! — when  I  am  off  guard  I  do  make  promises. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    169 

In  an  evil  moment  when  I  was  down  with  a  blind 
cold  and  a  dreadful  headache — I  saw  Mrs.  Ogden ; 
she  came  up  to  my  room ;  I  was  in  bed ;  I  felt  as 
limp  as  wet  chiffon — and  she  was  so  kind  and  sym- 
pathetic! I  believe  she  stroked  my  forehead — 
no  one  ever  strokes  my  forehead — it  mesmerised 
me !  And  before  I  knew  it,  I  had  promised  faith- 
fully to  go  to  her  tea  to-day,  so  of  course  I  must 
go.  I  cannot  tell  a  lie,  you  know!" 

"Certainly  not,'*  cooed  Mrs.  Winthrop:  "you 
never  told  a  lie,  did  you,  Grace  T ' ' 

Mrs.  Barkley  gave  her  a  flashing  look. 

"Your  voice  sounds  as  though  you  thought  I 
was  a  Sapphira — I  am  not,  I  assure  you.  Do  you 
know  I  never  have  been  able  to  understand  why 
our  National  Arbiter  of  Ethics  did  not  start  a 
Sapphira  club  to  match  his  Ananias  club." 

' '  When  women  get  the  franchise,  he  will, ' '  said 
John. 

Mrs.  Barkley  gave  a  dramatic  shudder. 

' '  That  will  be  an  added  terror  to  the  franchise. 
Women  will  then  be  publicly  branded  as  liars  just 
as  men  are  now.  But  he  can't  make  me  a  member 
because  I  invariably  speak  the  exact  truth.  Oh, 
do  give  me  a  cup  of  tea,  Ameda.  I  always  have 
to  drink  two  cups  of  the  very  strongest  tea,  to 
fortify  myself  to  go  to  a  tea.  Is  there  anything 
quite  so  hopeless  as  a  tea?" 

"Yes,  one,"  said  John:  "a  dinner  party  of  the 
wrong  persons — for  there  one  can't  escape." 

"I  do  not  think  that  is  nearly  so  hopeless," 


170    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

said  Mrs.  Winthrop, ' '  for  at  a  dinner  party  one  is 
at  least  cool  and  comfortable. ' ' 

"What  advantage  women  have,"  sighed  John; 
"we  men  may  not  get  our  beautiful  shoulders 
free,  our  lovely  arms  bare  and  so  be  cool  and 
comfortable  at  dinner." 

"But  you  generally  keep  your  head  cool," 
laughed  Mrs.  Barkley, ' '  and  that  is  the  main  thing. 
I  would  give  you  my  beautiful  bare  shoulders  any 
day  for  your  strong  cool  head." 

John  remembered  with  an  inward  start  how 
near  he  had  been  to  losing  his  head  a  moment 
before. 

1 '  Ameda,  mayn  't  I  have  my  tea  1 ' '  Mrs.  Barkley 
looked  appealing. 

"Yes,  dear,  I  have  rung  for  some  hot." 

1 '  No,  no,  I  want  it  just  as  it  is,  with  lemon  and 
no  sugar.  I  love  the  sugar  but  my  mirror  cries 
out  against  it." 

"Grace,  you  could  stand  several  pounds  more 
without  the  slightest  peril." 

"How  delightfully  tactful  you  are!  Wouldn't 
you  know,  John,  that  Mrs.  Winthrop  is  French? 
She  foresees  what  is  coming  and  prepares  me  with 
compliments  and  comfort." 

"I  invariably  speak  the  exact  truth,  my  dear." 
Mrs.  Winthrop  made  this  assertion  with  a  smiling, 
dainty  mimicry  of  Mrs.  Barkley. 

"Oh,  then  you  can't  belong  to  the  Sapphira 
club,  either:  another  bond  between  us!" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    171 

Mrs.  Winthrop  handed  Mrs.  Barkley  her  tea. 
She  drank  it  with  relish: 

*  'Your  tea  is  perfection,  Ameda.  Oh,  how  much 
nicer  it  is  here  in  this  peaceful  quiet  room  than 
in  that  crush  to  which  I  go ! " 

"Don't  go,  then." 

"I  told  you  that  I  promised  and  I  told  you  that 
I  always  keep  my  promises." 

Mrs.  Barkley  spoke  with  mock  severity. 

4 'Fate  has  been  unusually  kind  to  me,"  said 
John:  "I  have  met  two  women  who  always  tell 
the  exact  truth  and  always  keep  their  promises." 

"I  do — always — that  is — sooner  or  later."  Mrs. 
Barkley  gave  a  quick  nod  of  her  lovely  head.  ' '  My 
Bob  said  to  me  the  other  day,  'Muwer,  what  is  a 
pwomise?'  Just  fancy  one's  son  asking  such  a 
technical  question.  I  was  staggered  but  I  had  to 
rise  to  the  occasion :  first  I  was  going  to  tell  him 
to  ask  his  father  and  then  I  knew  Robert  would 
make  it  so  simple  to  the  child  that  he  would  say 
'why  didn't  muwer  know  thatf  so  I  went  into  a 
most  elaborate  analysis  of  promises.  I  really  de- 
serve a  medal  for  mental  merit,  I  made  it  so  ex- 
plicit and  clear  to  Bobs:  he  listened  quietly  until 
I  had  finished,  then  he  opened  his  eyes  and  looked 
at  me  with  that  queer  look  that  always  makes  me 
feel  as  though  I  were  a  deep-dyed  villain  and  said, 
'Do  peoples  ever  bwake  pwomises,  muwer?'  I 
was  frightened:  I  didn't  know  whether  the  child 
was  merely  a  clever  scientist  seeking  general  in- 
formation or  whether  he  was  a  member  of  an  in- 


172    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

vestigating  Committee — like  those  men  in  Wash- 
ington. To  my  horror  I  suddenly  remembered 
that,  the  day  before,  I  had  promised  him  some 
peppermints  and  until  that  moment  I  had  forgot- 
ten it !  He  had  me  on  the  hip :  I  answered  guard- 
edly, *  Sometimes,  Bobbie, '  and  what  do  you  think 
he  said?  'Eh  bien' — you  know  he  mixes  his 
French  and  his  English — 'I  wish  when  peoples 
bwake  their  pwomises  to  Bobbie  they  would  give 
Bobbie  the  bwoken  pieces.'  " 

"Hurrah  for  Bobs!"  John's  face  was  aglow. 

"I  was  covered  with  confusion/'  continued  Mrs. 
Barkley.  "I  was  just  going  out  and  I  went 
straight  to  Huyler's  and  sent  him  a  ten-pound 
box." 

* '  Grace,  you  will  kill  the  child ! ' '  exclaimed  Mrs. 
Winthrop. 

"Not  at  all — it's  a  fixed  rule  that  he  can  have 
only  four  candies  at  a  time — and  he  is  very 
obedient — but  I  thought  it  would  reassure  him  to 
see  a  lot." 

"What  a  delightful  boy  Bobbie  is,  Mrs.  Bark- 
ley." 

There  was  an  expression  that  came  into  John's 
eyes  as  he  spoke  that  was  most  pleasant  to  see. 
His  devotion  to  children  was  one  of  his  saving 
graces.  Mrs.  Barkley  looked  at  John  with  friendly 
eyes. 

"He  is  a  darling!  You  ought  to  like  him,  John. 
He  adores  you !  Do  you  know  what  he  calls  you  ? '  * 

"Please  tell  me.    I'm  keen  to  know." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    173 

"He  calls  you  'that  man  what's  nicer.'  " 

*  *  That  man  who  is  nicer !  How  adorable ! ' '  said 
Mrs.  Winthrop.  "How  old  is  he,  Grace!" 

'  *  He  longs  to  be  a  man — like  his  father — and  so 
he  makes  the  most  of  his  age.  He  says  he's  'quar- 
ter past  four,  going  fast  on  to  five,  and  that's 
almost  six.'  " 

She  turned  to  John. 

' '  John,  in  all  the  favours  that  fortune  has  flung 
into  your  lap  with  such  lavish  and  reckless  hand 
did  you  ever  have  anything  better  than  Bobbie's 
tribute?" 

' '  Never ! ' '  said  John  emphatically. 

Mrs.  Barkley  turned  to  Mrs.  Winthrop. 

"You  should  have  heard  Bobs  describe  John 
to  Billy  Garrett,  his  little  fidus  Achates.  'You 
don't  know  John?'  he  said.  'You  ought  to  know 
John ' — he  hears  his  father  and  his  uncle  Ted  say- 
ing John — and  he  will  do  it,  no  matter  what  I 
say " 

'  *  Don 't  stop  him ! ' '  interrupted  John. 

Mrs.  Barkley  continued : 

"  'What's  he  look  like?'  asked  practical  Billy. 
Bobbie  thought  a  moment,  then  he  painted  John's 
portrait  with  the  free  hand  of  an  expert — 'He's 
got  kinkly  hair,'  he  said;  'he's  got  a  jolly  laugh- 
ing mouth  and  his  eyes  look  like  out-of-doors! 
He's  an  awful  big  man;  but  he's  got  a  little  boy 
inside  of  him  that  comes  out  to  play  with  ower 
little  boys.' — Isn't  that  perfectly  lovely  t" 


174   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"I  feel  as  though  I  had  received  a  degree  or  a 
decoration. ' ' 

John  spoke  earnestly,  his  eyes  glowed :  and  Mrs. 
Barkley  told  herself  that  she  saw  in  those  eyes  a 
glimpse  of  the  little  boy  who  came  out  to  play 
with  other  little  boys. 

' '  You  well  may ! ' '  she  said.  '  *  I  assure  you  Bob- 
bie is  a  connoisseur :  he  has  an  uncanny  divination 
about  people.  A  woman  was  at  the  house  one 
day:  Bobby  looked  at  her  with  his  curious  wide- 
eyed  expression — fortunately  she  did  not  see  him 
but  I  saw  him  out  of  the  corner  of  my  eye ; — I  am 
always  keeping  track  of  Bobbie  out  of  the  corner 
of  my  eye  even  when  I  seem  most  absorbed ! — then 
just  as  she  turned  towards  him,  he  ran  off.  After 
she  had  gone  I  asked  him  why  he  ran  away;  I 
told  him  it  was  rude  to  run  away:  'But  Bobbie 
don't  like  her,  muwer,"  was  all  he  would  say. 
I  asked  him  'Why'  several  times  and  he  didn't 
answer.  Finally  he  said — quite  crossly  if  the 
truth  be  told — '  0  Muwer,  how  you  bower  Bobbie ! 
I  don't  like  her  'cause  her  insides  don't  match  her 
outsides ! '  He  hears  Fifine  talking  about  match- 
ing ribbons  and  chiffon  and  he  has  caught  on. 
Wasn't  it  clever?" 

"I  hope  I  was  not  the  woman,"  purled  Mrs. 
Winthrop,  "because  I  worship  Bobbie." 

Grace  Barkley  gave  an  inward  start  at  Mrs. 
Winthrop 's  unexpected  divination. 

"You!  The  idea,  Ameda!"  she  said  quickly, 
trying  to  cover  her  tracks.  "He  calls  you  the 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    175 

'booful  jungle  lady.'  The  first  time  lie  saw  you 
you  were  carrying  your  large  muff  with  the  head 
and  tails  and  it  perfectly  fascinated  him :  he  often 
asks  me  if  you  know  'Mowgli.'  But,  enough  of 
Bobbie! — Ameda,  that  Vivian  girl  is  here  again 
visiting  the  Vintons.  She  has  her  eye  on  Pelham, 
I  know  she  has;  I  shouldn't  be  surprised  to  hear 
of  an  engagement. ' ' 

"Nor  I,"  said  Mrs.  Winthrop.  "They  are  de- 
voted, and  the  Vintons  are  crazy  about  her:  she 
is  evidently  a  shrewd  girl:  Pelham  is  fabulously 
rich  with  his  two  great  fortunes!  He  has  one 
from  his  grandmother,  you  know,  and  one  from  his 
aunt,  and  then  he  will  have  his  share  of  his 
father's  wealth." 

"And,  incidentally,"  remarked  Mrs.  Barkley, 
"he  is  a  charming,  a  perfectly  delightful  fellow." 

Mrs.  Winthrop  gave  a  sympathetic  sigh: 

"Poor  Sally!" 

John  looked  up  hastily: 

"I  should  think  that  would  be  the  very  last 
adjective  to  apply  to  Miss  Sally — ever." 

Mrs.  Winthrop  gave  John  a  searching  look: 

"Any  girl  who  sees  another  girl  take  the  man 
she  loves  away  from  her  is  to  be  pitied." 

"How  absurd!"  broke  in  Mrs.  Barkley:  "Sally 
in  love?  She  is  as  free-hearted  and  as  free-footed 
as  Diana,  I  always  call  her  Diana." 

' '  You  may  call  her  what  you  please,  but  I  know 
she  wanted  Pelham.  Apart  from  her  love,  mar- 
riage with  him  would  have  been  an  excellent  thing 


176    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

for  Sally,  because  she  has  very  little  money — 
how  she  dresses  as  she  does  on  her  pittance  I  am 
sure  I  do  not  know!  Poor  Sally!" 

John's  defence  of  Sally's  dignity  had  irritated 
Mrs.  Winthrop;  for  that  reason  she  repeated  the 
phrase. 

"I  still  protest  against  that  adjective,  Mrs. 
Winthrop, ' '  persisted  John,  nothing  daunted : ' '  If 
Miss  Sally  were  heart-broken — which  I  cannot 
imagine — and  entirely  destitute  I  should -not,  even 
then,  call  her  'poor.'  " 

"Indeed?    Why?" 

"Because  she  is  herself!" 

"What  time  is  it,  John?'*  said  Mrs.  Barkley 
suddenly.  John  looked  at  his  watch. 

"Five-thirty." 

"Five-thirty?  Not  really?  I  must  go.  Good- 
bye, Ameda.  Sorry  you  are  not  going." 

John  said  that  he  must  also  hasten  to  keep  an 
appointment.  John  and  Mrs.  Barkley  left  the 
house  together.  After  they  had  gone  Mrs.  Win- 
throp sat  down  before  her  tea  table:  for  a  long 
while  she  sat  there :  then  she  rose,  took  the  violets 
from  the  jade  bowl,  and  with  ruthless  hand  threw 
them  into  the  smouldering  fire  and  watched  them 
burn.  When  Horace  came  in,  she  smiled  sweetly 
in  welcome  and  made  him  a  fresh  cup  of  tea. 


CHAPTEE  XIV 

THE  Metropolitan  Opera  House  was  dazzling 
with  light,  bright  with  fair  women  blazing  with 
jewels,  packed  to  its  capacity. 

John 's  glance  swept  over  the  brilliant  circle.  A 
sense  of  pride  waxed  within  him.  Deep  down  in 
his  heart  he  knew  that  this  pride  did  not  come 
from  his  best  self — he  knew  that  that  which  stirred 
his  pride  did  not  really  count  in  the  ultimate 
analysis  of  life :  and  in  the  remote  recesses  of  his 
soul  there  was  a  small  voice  that — had  he  allowed 
it  to  speak — would  have  protested  he  had  not 
earned  a  fitting  cause  for  pride.  He  did  not  often 
hear  that  voice  in  these  whirling  days:  and  the 
buzzing  voices  he  did  hear  applauded  the  things 
that  caused  his  petty  pride  in  outward  things,  and 
so  it  thrived  and  waxed  fat.  John  knew,  with  quick 
perception,  that  the  most  brilliant  women  in  that 
glittering  house  would  feel  themselves  flattered  if 
he  granted  them  a  moment  of  his  presence  in  their 
boxes:  he  knew  that  the  ambitious  mammas  and 
doughty  dowagers,  cast  envious  glances  at  him : 
and  that  many  fair  women,  arrayed  in  splendour, 
cast  envious  glances  at  the  women  in  his  box.  He 
knew,  also,  that  these  women,  whom  they  envied, 
were  two  of  the  most  notable  women  in  New  York 

177 


178    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

— the  most  popular,  the  most  discussed:  Mrs.  de 
Lancey,  with  her  millions  that  matched  his  own, 
with  her  wonderful  clothes  and  lavish  extrava- 
gance, and  the  incomparable  Mrs.  Winthrop. 

For  the  past  month  he  had  seen  Mrs.  Winthrop 
almost  daily.  The  men  at  the  Club  said  that 
Wright  was  ' '  a  clever  devil  and  knew  a  good  thing 
when  he  saw  it. ' '  Horace  Winthrop  said  nothing. 
He  thanked  his  stars  that  Ameda  had  a  new  fad 
to  fill  her  hours :  it  left  him  free  and  unhampered. 
The  only  thing  that  awakened  a  keen  interest  in 
Horace  Winthrop 's  languid  elegance  was  his  pride 
in  his  possessions :  Ameda,  his  wife,  was  his  most 
artistic,  his  most  costly  possession :  merely  as  one 
of  his  assets,  he  desired  to  keep  her  at  her  best, 
charmed  and  charming,  and  nothing  accomplished 
this  so  quickly  as  a  new  man :  when  she  was  tired 
of  the  new  man  she  always  sought  shelter  again 
with  Horace  for  a  brief  space :  he  was  an  harbour 
into  which  she  sailed  for  repairs — to  him  she  went 
to  plume  and  preen  herself  for  new  ventures: 
Horace  acknowledged  that  this  affair  with  John 
Wright  seemed  to  be  more  serious  than  any  other 
had  ever  been;  but  at  the  same  time  Ameda  had 
not  been  so  gracious  and  charming  since  the  early 
days  of  their  marriage:  he  knew  Wright  was 
a  decent  fellow,  honourable  and  high-toned,  so 
what  difference  did  a  little  sentiment  make  more 
or  less?  It  amused  Ameda  and  it  left  him  free. 

The  women  said  that  Ameda  Winthrop  had 
handled  her  cards  well,  but  that  she  must  be  OD 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    179 

her  guard,  because  John  was  difficult  to  catch  and 
he  would  be  more  difficult  to  keep. 

As  they  had  all  recognised  the  baffling  remote- 
ness in  John  when  he  looked  at  the  picture  the 
night  of  the  dinner,  so  in  the  midst  of  the  brilliant 
life,  which  John  seemed  to  enjoy  with  such  keen 
zest,  from  time  to  time  they  recognised  a  fleeting 
withdrawal,  a  baffling  reserve  that  they  could 
neither  analyse  nor  understand:  it  added  to  his 
fascination  precisely  as  it  mystified  them. 

But  less  and  less,  as  time  went  on,  did  Ameda 
Winthrop  see  this  reserve.  There  was  in  her  at- 
mosphere a  lotus  quality  that  lulled  live  things 
to  sleep :  the  more  John  saw  of  Ameda  Winthrop 
the  less  frequently  those  moments  of  withdrawal 
returned  to  him. 

Horace  Winthrop,  who  detested  music,  always 
had  an  engagement  at  the  Club  on  Opera  nights, 
and  Mrs.  Winthrop  when  asked  to  the  Opera  first 
assured  herself  that  the  party  had  been  carefully 
selected  and  then  she  consented,  with  apparent  re- 
luctance, to  go  without  her  husband. 

"Poor  Horace,  how  much  he  misses  and  how 
much  we  shall  miss  him,"  she  always  said  as  she 
made  her  entrance,  before  she  gave  herself  up  to 
the  hour — and  forgot  Horace. 

To-night,  John  had  managed  to  keep  the  seat 
behind  Ameda  for  himself:  he  moved  away  dur- 
ing the  entr'actes  for  the  other  men  who  came  in 
to  buzz  around  the  women.  Now,  the  house  was 


180    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

dark,  once  more,  and  John  was  back  again  in  his 
place  as  the  curtain  rose  on  the  second  act. 

It  is  night — Isolda  is  standing  in  the  forest, 
waiting  and  watching  for  her  lover:  the  music 
rises  and  swells:  Tristan  draws  near;  to  the  un- 
dulating rhythm  of  the  music  Isolda  waves  her 
fleecy  scarf  which  seems  endowed  with  emotion 
and  with  life — faster  she  moves  it,  faster  and 
faster:  the  music  throbs  in  great  waves  of  ex- 
pectancy :  passion,  poignant  pain,  longing,  desire, 
the  inexorableness  of  Fate,  the  sharp  sting  of 
Death,  the  outsoaring  of  all  mortal  sense,  the  ever- 
lastingness  of  Love — all  vibrate  in  the  harmony. 
Her  hero  comes!  Tristan  and  Isolda  rush  to- 
gether— as  though  by  some  law  that  cannot  be 
denied  nor  disobeyed:  they  are  in  each  other's 
arms  and  about  them  is  the  silence  and  the  mys- 
tery of  the  sheltering  night:  Brangane  stands 
upon  the  rampart  and  sings  her  watch-song:  the 
lovers  murmur  to  each  other's  lips:  they  know 
not  if  it  be  night  or  day,  'for  deep  in  the  bosom' 
of  each  'shines  the  sun.' 

John  has  always  maintained  that ' '  Tristan  and 
Isolda"  is  not  only  the  greatest,  but  that  it  is, 
in  the  final  analysis,  the  least  sensuous  of  all 
Wagner's  Operas.  When  abroad  with  a  College 
chum  he  had  seen  it  first,  and  they  had  discussed 
the  ethics  of  the  music-drama  far  into  the  night: 
his  chum  had  maintained  that  ' '  Tristan  and  Isol- 
da" is  a  dangerous  drama  of  sense,  the  presen- 
tation, the  apotheosis  of  carnal  passion :  John,  on 


the  contrary,  with  his  ardent  young  idealism,  had 
contended  that  it  is  the  very  opposite;  he  had 
claimed  that  the  passion  portrayed  is  a  passion 
of  the  soul — the  sensuousness  is  a  sensuousness, 
not  of  the  flesh,  but  of  that  psychic  side  of  life 
which  triumphs  over  the  flesh — transmuting  it  into 
something  powerful  and  dynamic.  He  maintained 
with  eloquence  and  heat  that  love,  which  could, 
in  the  moment  of  rapturous  consummation,  reach 
out  for  death — seeking  its  exaltation  in  freedom 
from  the  body — that,  in  the  circle  of  physical 
ecstasy,  could  desire  the  sword  to  emancipate  the 
soul — was  not  carnal:  and  that  any  drama  which 
made  its  hero  and  heroine  sing  the  same  song  of 
poignant  passion  when  dissolution  and  despair 
chilled  their  senses,  which  they  had  sung  in  the 
full  tide  of  youth's  desire  and  delight  in  bliss,  was 
a  drama  which  revealed  high  triumph  over  earthly 
passion. 

John  knows  his  theory  is  correct:  back  some- 
where in  his  soul  it  still  holds  sway:  but  to-night 
his  arguments  are  silenced,  the  engine  of  his  mind 
has  ceased  to  work,  his  thoughts  are  drugged,  his 
dearly-held  theory  is  forgotten :  to-night,  he  knows 
only  the  physically  sensuous  side  of  the  music: 
to-night,  he  knows  only  the  call  of  man's  desire — 
dominating,  compelling:  the  physical  currents  in 
his  frame  surge  and  resurge. 

' '  Isolda ' '— ' '  Isolda ' '— ' '  Isolda '  '—Tristan  sang 
in  passionate  refrain.  John  found  himself  fit- 
ting another  name  to  the  music — a  name  that  had 


182    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

become  a  motif  in  his  thoughts  these  latter  days : 
the  rhythm  of  the  name  beat  to  the  rhythm  of  the 
song.  As  if  her  subconscious  self  had  heard  the 
unspoken  call,  Ameda  Winthrop  turned — and  to 
the  music  John  murmured — "Ameda — Ameda!" 

Ameda  lifted  her  voluptuous  eyelids:  an  an- 
swering flame  in  her  eyes  met  the  fire  in  his :  the 
swift  fire,  devastating,  consuming,  swept  through 
his  veins  and  burned  hot  in  his  pulses;  and  still 
they  gazed  and  gazed — these  two — to  the  surging 
of  the  music:  outwardly  they  sat  with  exquisite 
circumspection — for  they  were  in  the  great  Opera 
House  filled  with  watching  eyes — but  in  their 
thoughts  they  were  not  circumspect. 

The  scene  ended,  the  curtain  fell,  the  lights 
flashed:  John  turned  away — the  going,  however, 
was  only  a  closer  coming.  Does  he  love  her?  No ! 
He  knows  he  does  not  love  her  as  he  can  love:  he 
does  not  love  her  as  he  will  one  day  know  love — 
but  what  of  that  ?  he  asks  himself — he  desires  her 
— every  pulse  of  his  being  desires  her.  When  the 
Opera  was  ended  and  the  good-nights  were  being 
said — amidst  the  chatter  and  the  talk  about  them, 
he  asked: 

"Will  you  be  at  home  to-morrow,  at  five,  Mrs. 
Winthrop?" 

"To  you" — she  answered  very  low — "to  you, 
and  to  you  only." 

As  he  started  to  move  away  and  let  another 
take  his  place,  Mrs.  Winthrop,  under  cover  of  the 
talk,  added  a  word  that  leaped  like  wild  madness 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    183 

through  his  being:  she  was  putting  on  her  royal 
purple  cloak,  her  sea-green  eyes  were  veiled:  she 
breathed  rather  than  spoke  the  words — 

"I  shall  expect  you  to-morrow,  at  five,  Mr. 
Wright,  and — and — Horace  goes  to  Washington  in 
the  three  o  'clock  train.  Will  you  stay  and  have  a 
quiet  dinner — and  evening — with  me!" 

"Thank  you,  Madame,"  John  answered. 

Then,  once  again,  they  looked  into  each  other's 
eyes :  and  in  the  eyes  of  each  was  that  which  has 
been  the  tragedy  of  life,  the  bane  of  history,  since 
man  and  woman  ate  of  the  fruit  of  the  Forbidden 
Tree. 


CHAPTER   XV 

JOHN'S  limousine  sped  through  the  crowded 
streets:  it  was  very  late:  his  pulses  were  still 
throbbing  madly  with  the  memory  of  the  evening. 
He  did  not  ask  himself  what  was  this  new  cur- 
rent on  which  he  was  drifting — he  did  not  care, 
he  did  not  want  to  think :  he  knew  only  that  his 
blood  was  hot  within  him,  that  man  was  man  and 
to  him  was  given  the  mastery  over  all  desirable 
things:  he  felt  that  dominating  sense  of  power 
which  makes  man  potentially  a  tyrant. 

Why  should  he  refrain  from  walking  the  path 
that  opened  before  him?  He  is  face  to  face  with 
a  morrow  that  will  contradict  what  he  has  always 
been  taught  should  be  the  fundamental  corner- 
stone of  character,  but  of  old  teachings  he  will  not 
think:  he  will  think  instead  of  the  added  power 
that  will  come  to  him  from  self -development — of 
the  fulfilment  of  his  manhood:  he  will  not  be  a 
slave  to  old-fashioned  and  outworn  dogmas  and 
traditions  any  more  than  Tristan  was  when  he 
hurried  through  the  night  to  the  blissful  tryst  in 
the  forest. 

He  is  John  Remington  Wright,  the  world  is  in 
his  hands,  and  he  will  go  the  way  of  the  world- 
he  will  do  what  any  other  man,  with  blood  in  his 
veins,  would  do  in  his  place. 

184 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    185 

And  lie  must  wait  seventeen  hours!  His  pas- 
sion is  impatient.  TO-MORROW  !  He  lives  it  all  in 
anticipation — the  long  afternoon  with  its  gather- 
ing twilight,  Ameda  at  the  tea  table,  gay  with 
badinage — the  formal  yet  intimate  little  dinner 
in  the  superb  Winthrop  dining-room,  he  and  she 
alone  together — after  dinner  coffee  and  cigarettes 
and  a  dash  of  clever  talk  in  the  stately  library,  un- 
der the  austere  chaperonage  of  the  portraits  of 
dead  Winthrop  ancestors : — then  Ameda  will  say 
— he  can  hear  the  very  tones  of  her  voice ! — '  Let 
us  go  up  to  my  boudoir,  John ;  it  is  so  much  more 
cozy  and  comfortable  there.'  He  sees  himself 
following  the  graceful  figure  up  the  noble  stair- 
case to  the  fragrant  boudoir  brilliant  with  fres- 
coes of  Eros :  he  recalls  those  frescoes,  which  are 
notable  in  New  York;  Ameda  had  had  a  famous 
French  Artist  paint  them  and  the  Artist  had  put 
more  than  art  into  the  legend  that  was  painted 
with  opulence  and  splendour.  He  and  she  will 
enter  Ameda 's  room  where  Eros  wings  his  way 
upon  the  wall — and — after  that? — he  will  not  al- 
low his  mind  to  go  beyond  the  moment  when  he 
enters  the  room  of  Eros  with  the  woman  he  de- 
sires. 

On  and  on  the  limousine  sped  as  John  forelived 
the  morrow — the  passion-music  still  surging  in  his 
blood,  singing  in  his  ears  and  throbbing  through 
his  pulses.  A  sudden  halt  and  John  saw  his 


186    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

stately  mansion — solid  and  palatial  in  the  light 
of  the  street  lamps. 

As  he  put  his  latch-key  in  the  door  he  seemed 
to  move  to  the  motif  of  Isolda :  to  the  remembered 
echo  of  the  music  he  entered  his  magnificent  dwell- 
ing— 

"Don't  be  skeered,  Meester  John!  It's  only 
me ' ' — the  voice  came  startlingly  from  the  dim  re- 
cesses of  the  great  hall:  it  had  in  it  a  steadying 
shock — as  a  dash  of  cold  water  may  have  for  a 
man  who  has  been  drinking  heavily.  John  was 
giddy  with  a  heady  wine  that  was  not  of  the 
vine,  he  was  dizzy  with  an  intoxication  more  peril- 
ous than  the  intoxication  from  fermented  grapes ; 
and  the  familiar  ring  of  Eben's  voice  was  like 
an  icy  plunge  to  his  heat. 

"Why,  Eben,  I'm  mighty  glad  to  see  you!  But 
for  Heaven's  sake,  why  do  you  do  things  in  such 
an  unexpected  way?  To  loom  about  in  the  shad- 
ows at  this  time  of  night,  as  though  you  were  a 
ghost  or  a  burglar,  is  unsteadying  to  the  nerves ! 
Where's  Furniss?  Confound  him!  why  did  he 
leave  everything  so  dark?" 

John  touched  a  button  and  the  whole  place  sud- 
denly blazed  with  electric  light.  Eben  blinked. 
John  held  out  a  cordial  hand. 

"I  hope  you  have  brought  your  trunk  and  in- 
tend to  stay  this  time — I'm  jolly  glad  to  have  you 
here  again:  Stewart  will  look  after  you." 

"Can't  stay,  Meester  John;  must  go  back  to- 
night." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    187 

"To-night?  Nonsense!  You  can't  go  to-night 
*— why,  it's  after  midnight !" 

"What's  night  to  me?  Night's  just  the  same 
as  day — the  Lord  made  'em  both.  I  can  catch  the 
train  that  leaves  at  two  o'clock:  an'  after  I've 
had  my  word  with  you,  Meester  John,  I'll  just  sit 
in  the  hall  until  it's  time  to  go  to  the  deepo." 

"Go  back  to-night?  Not  on  your  life!"  pro- 
tested John.  Eben  ignored  John's  words:  he  be- 
gan seriously: 

* '  Can  you  give  me  a  few  minutes  as  late  as  this, 
Meester  John?" 

"Certainly,  Eben,  as  many  as  you  wish;  come 
up  to  my  den.  Had  anything  to  eat?" 

"Now  don't  you  bother  'bout  my  eatin'  an' 
sleepin'.  I  eat  on  the  way  here  from  the  deepo 
— that's  to  say  I  went  into  a  place  to  eat — I  see 
'Restaurant'  writ  over  the  door,  an'  I  heard 
scrapin'  of  fiddles  inside,  so  I  went  in  an'  eat 
some — but  the  sights  I  saw  in  that  place  turned 
my  stomach." 

"What  were  they?"  John  laughed. 

"Now  what's  the  good  of  yer  askin'  that?  If 
you've  seen  'em,  you  know  'em — if  you  ain't,  you 
oughtn't  to." 

John  led  the  way  up-stairs  to  his  luxurious  den. 
Something  warm  always  came  into  his  heart  at 
the  sight  of  Eben.  One  of  the  greatest  pleasures 
that  he  had  in  his  fortune  was  the  being  able 
to  make  some  return  to  this  faithful  servant  who 
had  stood  so  loyally  beside  his  mother  and  his 


188    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

father,  and  who  had  been  with  him  in  all  the  dark 
hours  of  his  boyhood :  Eben  had  refused  to  allow 
him  to  do  what  he  desired,  so  he  had  amused  him- 
self by  using  diplomacy  and  secrecy  to  accomplish 
his  ends.  He  had  put  the  farm,  with  a  large  sum 
of  money,  in  Eben's  name — although  this  Eben 
did  not  know:  what  he  did  know  was  that  John 
had  well  stocked  the  place  with  fine  cattle  and 
fine  poultry  and  that  fact  delighted  Eben  with  the 
impersonal  delight  of  the  farmer :  he  thought  John 
was  interested  in  the  matter,  which  to  him  was 
as  it  should  be:  but,  as  time  went  on,  he  felt  a 
dull  disappointment  that  John  was  not  more  con- 
cerned in  the  results  and  that  he  never  came 
to  see  the  old  place  in  its  new  enterprise.  John 
had  kept  away  from  Elmcroft:  the  very  thought 
of  the  place  was  distasteful :  the  remembrance  of 
Marion  made  him  extremely  uncomfortable,  in 
spite  of  his  sophistical  protests  that  there  was 
nothing  of  which  his  chivalry  need  be  ashamed. 
Moreover,  John  had  also  a  dim  apprehension  that 
if  Eben  were  on  his  own  ground  in  the  rugged 
familiar  scenes  of  Nature,  where  he  was  at  home 
and  master  of  the  situation,  his  uncompromising 
truth  and  straightforwardness,  even  his  humour, 
would  jar  upon  the  present  role  of  John's  new  life ; 
but  here  in  New  York,  amidst  his  own  surround- 
ings, it  was  different — here,  Eben  was  like  fresh 
radishes  in  the  course  of  a  heavy  dinner.  John 
had  had  great  amusement  in  the  three  or  four 
times  that  he  had  succeeded  in  getting  Eben  to 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    189 

visit  New  York ;  he  confided  to  Mrs.  Winthrop  that 
it  was  better  fun  than  any  vaudeville  to  hear 
Eben's  comments  on  New  York.  John  had  not, 
however,  been  able  to  succeed  in  keeping  him  long 
in  town:  Eben  had  gone  off  each  time,  suddenly 
and  unexpectedly,  exactly  as  a  cow  runs  to  pas- 
ture. 

"New  York's  all  very  well  for  'em  as  likes  it, 
Meester  John,"  he  had  said,  "but  there's  so  much 
to  see  you  can't  see  nothin' — an'  so  much  noise 
that  you  can't  hear  yerself  think  'bout  what  y're 
seem'." 

To-night,  John  felt  a  delicious  piquancy  in  the 
situation:  the  jump  from  "Tristan  and  Isolda" 
to  Eben  Hankins  delighted  his  sense  of  humour. 
His  pulses  were  throbbing,  he  did  not  want  to 
think,  he  was  sure  he  could  not  sleep,  and  talk 
with  Eben  would  pass  the  time. 

When  they  were  in  John's  den  with  the  door 
closed,  Eben  looked  around  the  luxurious  room — 
at  the  inlaid  desk  with  its  elaborate  conveniences, 
heavy  silver  and  jewel-studded  writing  articles, 
the  luxurious  davenport  of  crimson  leather,  the 
easy  smoking-chairs,  the  soft  lights  and  elegant 
appurtenances — and  gave  a  homely  grunt. 

"Ain't  much  like  yer  room  at  the  farm,  Meester 
John." 

"I  should  say  not,"  John  assented,  "and  I  am 
not  much  like  the  man  who  used  to  be  in  that 
room. ' ' 


190    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

Eben's  keen  eyes  came  back  from  the  room  and 
slowly  surveyed  John  from  head  to  foot. 

1  'That's  a  fact." 

John  was  conscious  of  an  odd  pang  of  disap- 
pointment :  he  had  not  expected  such  ready  assent 
from  Eben:  notwithstanding  his  departure  from 
what  he  knew  were  Eben's  ideas  of  manhood,  he 
had  thought  he  could  count  on  the  faithful  man's 
loyal  devotion  for  partial,  if  gruff,  approval,  un- 
der all  circumstances:  now,  he  felt  instinctively 
that  Eben  no  longer  approved  of  him  at  all  and 
he  found  himself  desiring,  with  an  eager  boyish 
impetuosity,  the  old  commendation.  John  had 
been  going  with  the  tide  into  places  and  ways  very 
far  from  his  earliest  ideals:  his  conscience  had 
been  hushed  with  sophistry  and  put  to  sleep  by 
lotus  anodynes.  Of  a  sudden  his  conscience  spoke 
clear,  distinct — asking  estimates  and  apprisals  of 
himself:  and  it  was  as  if  Eben — man  of  the  soil, 
God's  own  product  of  Nature — was  a  scale  by 
which  John  felt  himself  being  measured — ' '  Senti- 
ment! rubbish!"  John's  new  self  murmured  in- 
audibly  to  his  old  self:  but  even  as  he  said  it, 
a  memory-picture,  long  forgotten,  caught  him 
swiftly  unawares — strange  that  it  should  come 
to-night  of  all  nights!  It  was  the  picture  of  a 
woman,  frail  and  shadowy  unto  death,  with  sunken 
eyes  that  held  within  them  a  shining  faith;  at 
her  knee  is  standing  a  little  boy,  looking  up  into 
her  face;  and  like  an  echo  heard  across  a  deep 
chasm  he  hears  the  words — "My  little  son, 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    191 

mother  wants  you  always  to  'think  clear,  feel 
deep,  bear  fruit  well.' 

1 '  Well,  Eben, ' ' — John  was  anxious  to  break  the 
spell — "what  has  brought  you  here  'at  the  witch- 
ing hour  of  night  ? '  " 

"What  time's  that?" 

"That's  Keats 's  word  for  midnight — but  you 
never  could  appreciate  poetry, ' '  and  John  flashed 
Eben  one  of  his  boyish  fascinating  smiles. 

"Yes,  I  do.  I've  got  a  hull  box  full  to  home 
I  cut  out  from  The  Elmer  oft  Banner,  but  poetry's 
like  the  cranberry  on  the  turkey — it 's  all  very  well 
for  an  extry  dish,  but  you  wouldn't  get  fat  on  it. 
Poetry's  all  right  when  you  ain't  got  nothin'  else 
to  do,  but  it  oughtn't  to  interfere  with  business." 

"Come  to  business  then." 

"I've  come  to  see  you  'bout  a  matter  an'  I 
thought  I'd  never  get  here!  Say,  Meester  John, 
don't  folks  in  New  York  never  go  to  bed?" 

"Seldom,  except  in  the  daytime." 

"Land-o'mercy-sakes!  In  the  daytime?  Goto 
bed  in  the  daytime  ?  Says  I  to  myself,  says  I,  now 
if  I  gets  to  New  York  nigh  onto  midnight,  I'll 
have  easy  goin'  from  the  deepo  to  Meester  John's 
—but  there  wasn't  standin'  room  in  the  cars  nor 
walkin'  room  on  the  walks!  Anythin'  goin'  on 
to-night?" 

"Nothing  more  than  usual — you  happened  to 
strike  just  the  time  when  the  theatres  were  all 
coming  out." 

"Thetheaytres!  You  don't  say.  All  them  folks 


192    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

at  the  theaytres?  If  they  do  so  much  play-actin' 
when  do  they  do  their  livin'?" 

John  looked  up  quickly. 

"When,  indeed?" 

"I  stood  a  spell  to  watch  'em  an*  there  was  so 
many  folks  an'  they  was  all  in  such  a  hurry,  I 
thought  there  must  be  a  riot.  Don't  they  never 
stop?" 

"Only  to  die,"  John  answered  sententiously. 

"Wai,  they  have  to  stop  for  that,  sure  'miff: 
I  just  stood  there  a  spell  wonderin'  where  they  was 
all  comin'  from  an'  where  they  was  all  goin'  to." 

"Where  do  you  think  they  came  from,  Eben— 
and  where  do  you  think  they  are  going?" 

Eben  scratched  his  head,  thought  a  moment, 
hitched  his  trousers  and  then  answered  as  the 
conclusion  to  his  mental  analysis: 

"Wai,  I  know  they  all  come  from  the  Lord  God 
Almighty,  but  I  think  most  of  'em  is  goin'  to  the 
devil." 

* '  Eight  you  are,  Eben !  And  now — what  do  you 
want?" 

"I've  come  to  see  you  'bout  a  matter  of  busi- 
ness." 

"So  you  said;  out  with  it!" 

"I'm  tellin'  you  as  fast  as  I  can." 

"Do  you  want  some  money?" 

"Now  see  here,  Meester  John,  money's  money 
— but  there 's  other  things  in  life  besides  money. ' ' 

There  was  an  honest  dignity  about  the  man  that 
pleased  John. 


"I  beg  your  pardon,  Eben.  How  may  I  serve 
you?" 

"  'Tain't  me  I  want  you  to  serve" — there  was  a 
moment's  pause  and  in  that  moment  John  felt  an 
ominous  thrill — "it's  Mees  Marion." 

"Miss  Marion!  What's  the  matter  with  Miss 
Marion!" 

"  'Muff's  the  matter  with  her,"  said  Eben. 
"First  off,  the  Parson's  dead." 

"Dead?    Dr.  Meredith?" 

"Yes,  an'  what  we're  goin'  to  do  without  him, 
the  Lord  only  knows.  But, ' '  Eben  continued  after 
a  pause, ' '  as  long  as  the  Lord  knows,  I  guess  we  '11 
get  on. ' ' 

"Dr.  Meredith  dead?  When  did  he  die?  Why 
wasn't  I  told? — Why  didn't  you  write  and  tell 
me!"  John  repeated,  as  Eben  made  no  answer. 

"Wai,"  Eben  spoke  hesitatingly,  "1  didn't 
want  to  interrupt  you.  It  seems  like  you'd  kind'er 
forgotten  Elmcroft,  that's  to  say,  not  forgotten 
exactly,  but  was  kind'er  indeeferent  like  'bout 
what's  happenin'  there." 

"Nonsense!"  John's  contradiction  was  the 
sharper  because  he  realised  the  truth  of  the 
charge.  1 1 1  have  been  too  busy  to  make  a  moment 
to  run  down  before — couldn't  possibly — but  I  was 
going  surely  this  spring.  I  should  have  come  at 
once,  however,  to  see  Dr.  Meredith  if  you  had  told 
me  he  was  ill.  You  should  have  written  to  me, 
Eben:  you  did  very  wrong." 

Eben  looked  troubled. 


194    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"I  most  generally  do  do  wrong  'bout  the  things 
I  most  want  to  do  right  'bout." 

"Dear  old  Dr.  Meredith!"  said  John.  "I  owe 
him  a  lot.  Was  he  ill  long?  Did  he  suffer?" 

"Yes;  he  was  sick  five  months,  but  he  wouldn't 
give  up.  He  preached  when  he  looked  like  a  wind- 
in'  sheet." 

1 1  How  splendid !    That 's  like  him ! ' ' 

A  throb  of  admiration  warmed  John:  it  came 
from  the  enthusiasm  that,  in  his  boyhood,  had 
made  him  an  ardent  hero-worshipper :  this  enthu- 
siasm had  been  choked  of  late  by  the  overlay  of 
a  material  stratum. 

In  that  throb  of  boyish  enthusiasm  John  seemed 
more  like  his  old  self  than  Eben  had  seen  him 
since  he  left  Elmcroft. 

Eben  looked  hard  at  him  for  a  moment  and 
then  drew  a  breath  as  of  relief  and  said  irrele- 
vantly but  conclusively: 

* '  I  reckon  I  did  right  to  come,  after  all. '  ' 

' '  Of  course  you  did ! ' '  said  John,  realising  that 
up  to  this  moment  Eben  had  had  his  doubts. 
"Now  tell  me  about  Miss  Marion — where  is  she, 
poor  child?" 

"You  hit  it  there — she's  'poor  child'  all  right—* 
she  lived  by  her  father — an'  now  he's  gone  she 
ain't  got  nobody." 

"How  is  she!" 

"She's  been  ailin*  for  two  years — lookin'  kind 
o'  peeked-like,  an'  more  like  a  white  rose  than  the 
pink  ones  she  sets  such  store  by — but  she  stuck 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    195 

by  her  father  an'  took  good  care  of  him.  I  saw 
a  lot  when  I  was  there:  you've  done  a  good  deed 
in  easin'  me  up  the  way  you  have  by  havin'  more 
men  on  the  farm — it's  give  me  such  lashions  of 
time  that  I've  been  able  to  help  a  bit  where  I 
was  needed,  an'  I  was  needed  at  the  Parsonage; 
I  was  there  consid'able,  helpin'  'bout.  I  know'd 
she  was  sick — for  I  see  her  layin'  down  in  the 
woods — when  she  didn't  think  no  one  saw  her 
— as  though  her  head  ached  some  thin'  bad — but 
as  soon  as  she  come  in  to  her  father  she  'd  look  up 
an'  smile  just  as  cheerful  as  a  robin;  you  know 
that  smile  of  her'n — the  smile  that  shines  in  her 
eyes  when  it  comes  on  her  mouth." 

Ah! — that  was  it!  John  had  been  trying  to 
determine  for  a  year  just  what  it  was  that  he 
missed  from  Mrs.  Winthrop's  alluring  smile:  he 
knew  now  it  was  the  smile  in  her  eyes  when  her 
lips  were  curving. 

The  picture  of  Marion  with  the  radiance  of 
eyes  as  well  as  the  radiance  of  lips  rose  before 
him.  It  was  as  though  a  traveller  who  had  wan- 
dered deep  into  the  market-places  and  the  ex- 
changes of  the  world  had  caught  a  fleeting  vision 
of  a  remembered  nymph  in  a  far-off  unforgotten 
grove. 

' '  Has  she  left  the  Parsonage  I ' '  John  searched 
for  questions  that  would  promptly  give  him  the 
situation. 

"Left  the  Parsonage!  Wai,  now,  where 's  the 
new  meenister  to  live  if  she  ain't?  'Twas  all 


196    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

right  so  long  as  she  was  at  the  Parsonage  she  was 
to  home — but  last  month  she  had  to  git  out  'cause 
the  new  Parson  come.  I  don't  want  to  say  nothin' 
disrespectful  'bout  that  there  young  man  'cause 
he's  a  meenister  of  the  Lord — but  his  wife  ain't 
no  meenister  of  the  Lord's  an'  I  take  great  con- 
solation in  sayin'  that  she's  a  fool:  it  takes  a  stout 
stomach  to  see  them  two — the  Eev'd  Johnson  an* 
his  fool  wife  in  the  old  parsonage  where  Dr. 
Meredith  has  been  for  nigh  on  to  thirty  years." 

"I  should  think  it  would!"  said  John  sympa- 
thetically. "Where  is  Miss  Marion?" 

"With  that  crotchety  old  Smith  woman." 

"Smith  woman?" 

"Yes,  the  dressmaker — I  reckon  you've  forgot 
« — she  lives  on  the  Main  Street — she's  as  sharp 
as  a  fish  hook  an'  as  sour  as  vinegar." 

"And  Miss  Marion  is  with  her?  That  must  not 
be,"  said  John  impulsively.  "What  can  be 
done?" 

"If  I'd  know'd,  I  wouldn't  'av  come." 

The  instinct  of  loyalty  arose  in  John.  It  was 
all  very  well  to  forget  the  passing  mood  of  a  May 
romance — but  it  was  another  thing  to  forget  your 
childhood's  friend — when  she  was  in  trouble:  the 
daughter  of  your  old  teacher — your  mother's  tru- 
est and  best  friend. 

"What  may  I  do,  Ebenl" 

"Now  what's  the  use  of  all  them  piles  an'  piles 
of  books  if  they  can't  tell  you  what  to  do  when 
you  don't  know?" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    197 

"Is  the  church  doing  anything  for  her?" 

"  'Course  the  church  won't  let  her  starve;  but 
that  ain't  all — what  Mees  Marion  needs  is  a 
friend;  som'un  to  advise  her,  som'un  as  knows 
somethin'  of  the  world,  like  you  do :  the  old  women 
with  rumatiz  drink  tea  an'  the  old  elders  with 
paralysis  chew  tobacco  an'  that's  'bout  all  they 
know — an'  the  present  generation  of  Elmcroft 
fool  young  men  ain't  smart  'nuff  to  see  how  deef- 
erent  Mees  Marion  is  from  the  rest  of  the  world : 
an'  I  don't  like  them  summer  folks  that  comes 
down — 'cause  they  do  see  how  deeferent  she  is 
an'— an' — -" 

"And  what?"  asked  John. 

"Wai,  never  mind!  'Twas  all  right  when  her 
father  was  there,  but  now  she's  alone  an'  fired 
out  of  the  Parsonage,  I'm  kind  of  skeered!  You 
know  Mees  Marion's  mighty  high-headed,  ain't 
af eared  of  nobody,  an'  I  think  it  ain't  good  for 
her  to  be  alone,  especially  as  her  ailin'  ain't  hurt 
her  looks:  she's  got  better  lookin'  every  day! 
She's  just  like  corn  to  the  crows  to  those  men: 
I'm  worried  'bout  her  all  the  time — first  I'm 
'feared  she'll  die — an'  next  I'm  'feared  she 
won't." 

"You  say  she  grows  more  beautiful?"  John 
could  not  resist  putting  the  question. 

"Wai,  I  don't  know  what  you  call  it — but  she 
makes  you  feel  more  cockled  up  inside:  when  she'd 
come  dancin'  'round  couple  o'  years  ago  I  al'ays 
wanted  to  laugh — I  felt  like  I  feel  on  a  sunshiny 


198    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

mornin' — but  now  when  she  comes  'round  I  feel 
like  I  feel  when  they  sing  'Nearer,  my  God,  to 
Thee'  in  church." 

A  strange  rush  of  memory  and  of  emotion  swept 
over  John;  he  rose,  laid  his  hand  affectionately 
on  Eben's  shoulder. 

"Eben,  I  wish  I  were  as  good  as  you  are." 

"Don't  say  that.     I  ain't  good  nohow — I'm 
'bout  the  worst  man  I  ever  know'd  anywhere — 
the  devil  himself  would  be  proud  of  my  temper 
when  it's  riz." 

John  thrust  his  hands  into  his  pockets  and  be- 
gan striding  up  and  down  the  room :  he  was  seized 
by  an  overpowering  impulse — it  moved  him,  it 
compelled  him:  he  could  not  define  it — he  could 
not  resist  it. 

"Eben — "  John  halted  in  his  stride — he  spoke 
quickly,  as  though  he  were  uttering  words  which 
must  be  said  at  once  before  anything  should  pre- 
vent them  from  being  said, '  *  Eben,  I  will  go  down 
to  Elmcroft  to-morrow." 

"Wai,"  said  Eben  gruffly,  "I'd  feel  easier." 

"But — "  John  hesitated,  "perhaps  Miss 
Marion  won't  see  me." 

"Won't  see  you?"  Eben's  voice  betrayed  com- 
plete surprise. 

John  felt  a  certain  sense  of  comfort  in  noting 
that  surprise — evidently  Eben  did  not  suspect. 

"No — I  don't  think  Miss  Marion  likes  me  very 
well." 

Eben  thought  a  moment: 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    199 

"Wai,  I  guess  she  likes  you  all  right,  'cause  she 
al'ays  says  y're  her  oldest  friend  an'  she  says 
that  when  you  was  to  home  you  was  her  best 
friend. ' ' 

1  'Does  she!  Does  she  really?  That  is  gracious 
of  her." 

' '  She 's  gracious  all  right, — if  you  mean  by  gra- 
cious the  thing  that  makes  you  feel  the  way  flow- 
ers smell." 

"Good, — that's  a  bully  description  of  gracious- 
ness.  I  have  an  important  engagement,  to-mor- 
row"— John  caught  his  breath — "but — but  I  can 
— yes,  I  WILL  postpone  it.  I'll  go  down  in  the  noon 
train — and  you  '11  put  me  up  for  the  night. ' ' 

"Sure."  Eben's  gruff  response  betrayed  not 
the  slightest  indication  of  the  warming  it  gave 
his  honest  heart  to  think  of  having  John  at  the 
farm  for  a  night. 

"You  will  wait  and  go  back  with  me,  Eben?" 

"Couldn't,  Meester  John,  I  must  go  down  an' 
rid  up  a  bit  an'  get  yer  room  ready." 

"Oh,  that  doesn't  matter.  I'll  take  things  just 
as  they  are.  You  wait  over  and  go  down  with 
me — I  want  you  to." 

"Don't  ask  me  to  stay  here,  please  don't, 
Meester  John — I  don't  see  much  deeference 
'tween  New  York  an'  Hell,  honest  I  don't!" 

John  laughed. 

"Oh,  come  off,  Eben!    You're  too  hard  on  us." 

Eben  made  an  awkward  movement,  an  attempt 
at  apology : 


"I  don't  mean  nothin'  to  you,  Meester  John; 
when  I'm  in  this  house,  it's  all  very  decent — but 
I  can't  help  rememberin'  what's  just  'round  the 
corner!  You  know  when  I  was  here  afore  you  had 
some  of  them  new-fangled  men  of  yourn  show 
me  the  town — wal,  I  seen  it — an'  I  want  to  go 
home !  When  I  have  to  come,  I  come — but  soon  as 
my  say  is  said,  I  want  to  quit." 

"All  right,  Eben,  have  your  own  way.  See  you 
to-morrow  night  at  the  farm.  Is  there  anything 
I  can  do  for  you  before  I  go  ? " 

"No,  thank  ye." 

"Then,  I'm  off  to  bed.  When  you  go  out,  slam 
the  front  door  behind  you;  it  locks  itself." 

"I  know  it,  Meester  John,  I've  seen  it:  that's 
one  of  the  skeery  things  in  this  city;  things  open 
of  theirselves  an'  lock  of  their  selves — I'm  always 
skeered  of  walkin'  into  a  net  or  a  trap :  when  I'm 
here  I  always  wisht  I  was  safe  in  the  woods.  I'll 
go  down  an'  sit  in  the  hall  until  half -past- three," 
and  Eben  started  for  the  door. 

"No,  no,  sit  here — it's  more  comfortable." 
John  opened  a  silver  box :  ' '  Here  are  some  cigars 
— help  yourself." 

"Thank  ye,  kindly,  but  I  wouldn't  smoke  one  of 
them  high-falutin'  cigars  for  a  farm, — my  liver 'd 
be  all  riled  up  for  a  week,  but  if  ye  don't 

mind "  and  he  pulled  from  his  pocket  some 

bad-smelling  tobacco  and  an  old  pipe. 

"No,  indeed — smoke  away." 

John  said  good  night,  and  was  about  to  go. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    201 

"Say,  Meester  John,  please  plug  off  that  light 
thing  afore  you  go!" 

' '  The  light  thing  I  Oh !  the  electric  light !  But 
you  mustn't  sit  in  darkness — you  can  turn  it  off; 
see,  this  way!"  and  John  pressed  the  button. 

' '  No,  thank  ye !    I  al  'ays  let  them  things  alone. ' ' 

"Eben,  you  are  a  hopeless  old-fashioned  con- 
servative. Don't  you  ever  go  down  to  the  Village 
in  Elmcroft?" 

"I  ain't  got  no  callin'  to  go  nowheres  at  night- 
time 'cept  to  bed — that  is  to  say — as  a  reg'lar." 

"But  there  is  nothing  now  except  electric  light, 
anywhere — except  on  your  farm. ' ' 

11  Your  farm,  Meester  John,"  corrected  Eben. 

"Many  farms  have  it  even  in  the  stables  and 
barns." 

"Yes,  I  know,"  Eben  said  dejectedly;  "even 
the  cows  an'  the  bulls  an'  the  chickens  are  gettin' 
to  be  what  you  might  call  modern — all  'cept  me. 
We've  got  a  cow  that  acts  just  like  them  mili- 
tant suffragettes  the  papers  tell  about." 

"Here,  give  me  your  finger,"  and  John  held 
out  his  hand ;  "let  me  show  you  how  this  works. ' ' 

.Eben  thrust  his  hands  deep  down  into  his 
pockets. 

"No,  you  don't,1  Meester  John;  no,  you  don't. 
You're  use't  to  it,  I  ain't." 

John  began  switching  the  lights  on  and  off  in 
quick  succession.  Eben  watched  it  as  long  as  he 
could  stand  it:  finally  he  cried: 

"Stop  it,  Meester  John,  stop  it — for  the  land 


202    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

sakes !  I  al'ays  feel  safer,  out  in  the  Lord's  hands 
in  a  good  old-fashioned  thunder  an*  lightnin' 
storm." 

John  smiled. 

"All  right  then,  Eben,  you  needn't  touch  it: 
let  it  burn  all  night.  Leave  it  on  when  you  go- 
good  night,  see  you  to-morrow." 

When  Eben  was  alone,  he  looked  around  the 
brilliantly  lighted  room  at  all  the  manifestations 
of  luxury — and  shook  his  head. 

John  went  to  his  palatial  bedroom,  but  sleep 
was  fitful:  he  heard  the  emphatic  slam  of  the 
front  door  when  Eben  left — and  smiled  to  him- 
self in  the  darkness :  the  cool  grey  dawn  was  look- 
ing in  at  the  windows  when  he  awoke  with  a  start 
and  jumped  up  with  a  sense  of  an  impending  crisis 
hanging  over  him :  after  he  had  hurriedly  dressed, 
he  wrote  the  following  note: 

"Fate  has  robbed  me  of  my  longed-for  hour, 
Madame — 

"I  cannot  come  to  you  this  afternoon.  I  am 
deeply  sorry:  but  I  must  crave  your  pardon:  I 
have  been  suddenly  called  out  of  town  by  peremp- 
tory business. 

"Let  the  roses  speak  my  regret,  my  disappoint- 
ment, and  my  homage. 

"Faithfully,        JOHN  REMINGTON  WEIGHT." 

Then  he  gave  an  extravagant  order  for  the  most 
magnificent  American  Beauty  roses  in  town  to  be 
sent  to  Mrs.  Winthrop  with  the  note. 


CHAPTER  XVI 

AN  hour  later  John  was  rushing  through  the 
dreary  country  in  a  stuffy  railroad  car,  intensely 
irritated  at  the  inward  compulsion  which  drew 
him  to  Elmcroft  in  spite  of  himself,  and  critically 
analytical  of  a  curious  half  sense  of  escape  which 
kept  pace  with  the  feeling  of  irritation.  The  whir 
of  the  wheels  of  the  train  seemed  to  reiterate  the 
echo  of  Matthew  Arnold's  words  which  had  come 
to  his  remembrance  last  night, — "  Think  clear, 
feel  deep,  bear  fruit  well." 

Ah!  what  did  it  mean  to  "think  clear"?  Had 
his  thoughts  been  such  that  he  would  have  opened 
the  door  for  his  mother  to  enter  and  read  those 
thoughts  with  her  pure  eyes? — "Feel  deep" — 
Had  he  felt  deep?  No,  he  had  really  not  felt  at 
all — he  had  been  drifting  on  the  surface  of  sense 
and  of  sensation :  there  had  been  no  depth  to  his 
feeling — his  thoughts — his  life  for  two  years. 
"Bear  fruit  well." — What  fruit  was  he  bearing? 
— None :  he  had  ceased  to  bear,  to  create,  to  pro- 
duce, to  work,  even  in  farmlike  ways:  he  had 
ceased  studying — he  did  not  even  read  seriously 
— he  was  drifting  on  the  current  of  lazy  luxury 
and  intoxicating  self-indulgence.  Where  were 
the  fruits  of  his  seed-sowing — where  was  the  har- 

203 


204   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

vest  from  his  planting — where  was  the  accom- 
plishment from  his  own  work?  He  was  bearing 
nothing:  he  was  eating  the  fruit  of  a  dead  man's 
labours  from  the  hands  of  a  dead  man. 

That  fine  old  scholar,  Dr.  Meredith,  whose  life 
had  been  one  long  sacrifice,  had  worked  until  the 
end — he  had  gone  down  into  the  dark  Valley  of 
the  Shadow  still  working  and  leaving  fruit  to 
spring  up  in  the  hearts  of  true  men  like  Eben: 
and  he — John  Remington  Wright — was  a  drone 
in  the  vast  activities  of  an  evolving  world:  he 
was  a  tramp,  a  moneyed,  well-dressed,  envied 
tramp,  to  be  sure,  but  nothing  more  nor  less  than 
a  tramp,  he  was  an  idler — a  grinding,  busy  idler, 
but  as  far  as  accomplishment  went  he  was  an 
idler.  How  uncomfortable  it  was  that  this  poig- 
nant thought  should  take  possession  of  him  at  the 
very  height  of  his  worldly  success  and  at  the 
crisis  of  his  worldly  career!  Why  could  not  the 
traditions  of  his  life,  which  had  been  lulled  to 
sleep,  as  it  were,  by  benumbing  drugs,  have  re- 
mained comfortably  inert?  Why  should  he  be 
roused,  now,  to  introspection  and  to  morbid  self- 
analysis?  Last  night  at  the  Opera  all  had  been 
so  bright  and  exhilarating — and  now  to-day  he 
had  an  unpleasant  sensation  which  he  could  not 
shake  off,  which  was  very  uncomfortable.  It  was 
this  confounded  journey!  The  very  topography 
of  the  country  brought  back  to  him  associations 
of  ideas.  Almost  he  was  tempted  to  stop  at  the 
junction  and  take  the  express  train  back  to  New 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    205 

York:  something,  however,  like  a  physical  force 
drew  him  on :  the  journey  sped :  he  asked  himself 
questions  to  contradict  them:  he  put  before  him- 
self possibilities  to  annihilate  them :  he  caught  mo- 
mentary vistas  of  things  he  could  not  frame  into 
words,  and  instantly  he  closed  the  window  of  his 
mind,  declaring  that  the  vista  was  an  old-fash- 
ioned outworn  dream. 

When  he  reached  the  farm,  the  commonplace- 
ness  of  the  old  house  rose  crude  and  ugly  to  con- 
front him:  it  looked  unusually  desolate  in  the 
March  dreariness.  The  mere  creature  comforts 
of  his  daily  existence,  his  bath-room  with  its  lux- 
urious appointments,  and  his  other  conveniences, 
had  quickly  grown  to  be  necessities ;  his  luxurious 
surroundings  and  all  the  sumptuous  details  of  his 
environment  had  become  his  natural  atmosphere ; 
and  the  threadbare  carpets,  the  battered  furniture 
in  the  little  farm  house — which  Eben  would  not 
allow  him  to  change — the  unloveliness  of  it  all 
in  the  old  days  had  always  grated  on  his  artistic 
sense,  and  now  that  that  sense  was  habituated  to 
satisfaction,  it  jarred  upon  him  with  a  sharper 
distaste.  Yet,  through  it  all,  there  was  a  curious 
subconscious  feeling  of  being  at  home,  a  refresh- 
ing ease  to  the  restlessness  which  he  had  felt  on 
the  trip. 

As  he  stood  upon  the  porch  and  looked  out  over 
the  wide  free  landscape,  he  was  conscious  of  being 
in  larger  spaces,  both  physically  and  mentally, 
than  he  had  known  for  some  time.  The  beautiful 


206   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

steadfast  hills,  still  snow-covered,  cutting  into 
the  azure  sky,  gave  him  an  indefinable  feeling  of 
something  lofty,  suddenly  found,  which  for  awhile 
had  been  lost.  He  ate  the  dinner  Eben  had  had 
prepared  for  him,  of  ham  and  eggs,  light  biscuit 
and  incomparable  butter,  with  a  relish  that  he 
did  not  often  have  for  his  caviare  and  truffles. 

"This  is  a  bully  dinner,  Eben.  I'm  hungry — 
and  I'm  thirsty,  too:  I  should  like  a  little  whis- 
key." 

Eben's  face  fell. 

"Whiskey,  Meester  John?    Are  you  sick?" 

"Not  at  all,  but  I  take  whiskey  with  my  din- 
ner, sometimes." 

"You  don't  say!" 

John  smiled  indulgently. 

"Yes,  have  you  any  objections'?" 

"  'Tain't  for  me  to  have  no  objections.  If  you 
like  that  sort  of  thing  that's  the  sort  of  thing  you 
like." 

"Don't  you  like  it?" 

"Me?    No." 

"Well,  get  me  some,  please." 

Eben's  face  was  a  puckered  wrinkle  of  anxiety. 

"I'm  awful  sorry,  Meester  John.  I  wish  I'd 
know'd,  I'd  of  had  a  hull  dimyjon,  but  there  ain't 
a  drop  in  the  house." 

"All  right.  Don't  bother,"  said  John  pleas- 
antly; "it  doesn't  make  the  slightest  difference. 
I'll  send  you  a  stock  next  week." 

"Thank  ye,  kindly,  Meester  John,  but  I've  lots 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    207 

of  money  since  you  made  me  take  that  extra  riz 
an'  I  can  always  get  it  when  you  come  an'  I  don't 
want  none  no  other  time. ' ' 

" Don't  you  approve  of  it?" 

"  'Tain't  for  me  to  approve  or  disapprove  of 
nothin'.  I  don't  like  it,  I  don't  take  it,  an*  I 
don't  want  it." 

"What  do  you  drink?" 

"I  drink  the  water  that  comes  down  from  the 
hills." 

"So  do  I,"  laughed  John,  "but  I  put  whiskey 
in  it." 

Eben  shook  his  head : 

"Whiskey  muddles  the  head  an'  my  head's  all 
I've  got  to  think  with." 

"I'll  send  you  some  fine  old  whiskey,"  John 
teased;  "you  ought  to  have  it  on  hand  in  case 
you  are  ill." 

"No,  thank  ye:  if  I'm  sick  I  want  to  die  sober 
— I  don't  want  to  meet  the  Lord  God  Almighty 
with  a  thick  tongue  an'  a  muddled  brain." 

"All  right,  here's  to  you,"  and  John  drained 
a  glass  of  sparkling  spring  water. 

"This  is  delicious,  Eben." 

"Best  water  anywheres  'bout,"  said  Eben 
proudly:  "Do  you  mind  you,  Meester  John,  of 
the  old  spring?" 

"Down  at  the  Northwest  corner  of  the  big  field? 
I  should  say  I  did!" 

John  little  knew  the  delight  he  had  given  the 
grim  old  farmer  by  his  loyalty  to  memory. 


208    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Eben,  I'll  tell  you  what!  We'll  put  a  ram 
there  to  bring  the  water  up  to  the  house." 

"Don't  you  never  do  it,  Meester  John!  Don't 
you  never  do  it — she  might  stop ! ' ' 

"Nonsense,  Eben!  It  would  save  you  a  lot  of 
trouble  in  carrying  up  the  water. " 

"  'Tain't  nonsense.  I  know  too  much  'bout 
springs — a  spring's  like  a  woman — she'll  keep  on 
givin'  an'  givin'  an*  givin'  year  in  an'  year  out, 
but  she  won't  stand  no  foolin'  nor  no  forcin':  the 
spring's  al'ays  runnin'  free  an'  plenty  down  in 
the  big  field  but  if  you  try  to  force  her  up  to  the 
house  she  might  git  mad  an'  run  off.  I've  know'd 
it  to  happen  afore." 

"All  right,  Eben,  I  won't  interfere  with  your 
lady  friend :  no  coercion  for  her ! ' ' 

After  luncheon  Eben  brought  his  ledger  to  John. 

"Say,  Meester  John,  have  you  got  time  to  look 
over  them  accounts?" 

"Bother  the  accounts!  I  wish  you  would  take 
more  money  for  yourself." 

"But  I  don't  never  take  no  money  I  ain't 
earned." 

"I  know  it,  confound  you!" 

"That's  to  say,  I  live  here,  an'  I  ain't  earned 
that,  but  I  am  only  here  tempery  like :  when  I  'm 
too  old  to  work,  then  I'll  quit." 

"Live  here! — Why,  Thunder  and  Mars!  you 
belong  here — the  farm  is  yours!'1 

"You  call  it  so,  an'  I  thank  ye  kindly,  but — I  go 
on  callin*  it  yourn." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    209 

John  caught  sight  of  a  paper  upon  the  table: 

"The  Elmcroft  Banner,  as  I  am  alive!"  he 
cried:  "I  haven't  seen  it  for  two  years.  Do  you 
still  read  that  stuff,  Eben!" 

"You  better  believe  I  read  it.  How  could  I 
know  what's  what  if  I  didn't?" 

"Why,  I  ordered  The  New  York  Times  sent  to 
you  regularly.  That's  the  paper  to  tell  you  what's 
what.  Don't  you  read  that?" 

'  *  Yes,  thank  ye  kindly,  I  read  it. ' '  Eben 's  tone 
was  non-committal. 

"What  do  you  think  of  it!" 

"Wai,  for  a  paper  that  ain't  no  good  nohow  it's 
better  'n  it  might  be  if  'twas  worse. ' ' 

"Oh,  I  should  have  ordered  The  Tribune  for 
you.  I'll  do  so  as  soon  as  I  go  back." 

"Don't  you  do  it,  Meester  John.  I'd  rather 
have  a  plain  country  paper  as  tries  to  fly  high 
like  The  Banner  than  a  high-flyin'  city  paper  as 
tries  to  talk  plain  like  The  Tribune." 

"I'll  tell  you  what  I'll  do,"  said  John  good- 
humouredly,  "I'll  send  you  both  The  Times  and 
The  Tribune;  they  will  neutralise  each  other.  I 
forgot  your  dreadful  Republican  principles:  you 
haven't  changed  yet,  I  see." 

"You  don't  s'pose  I'd  change  me  skin,  do  you? 
A  man  don't  change  his  party  no  more'n  he 
changes  his  skin." 

"Oh,  come  off!  a  lot  of  your  G.  0.  P.'s  have 
changed. ' ' 

"That's  so,"  replied  Eben,  scornfully:  "some 


210   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

of  'em  call  'emselves  Bull  Mooses  but  they'll  come 
back  all  right.  The  elephant's  a  patient  critter." 

"What  did  you  say  last  year  when  the  Demo- 
crats came  in?" 

"What'd  I  say?  I  didn't  say  nothin'.  I 
was  so  mad  I  couldn't  even  spit." 

"I  see  you  haven't  any  more  sympathy  for  the 
Democrats  than  you  used  to  have." 

"I'll  tell  you  how  'tis,  Meester  John.  The  Dem- 
ocrats are  all  right  so  long's  nothin 's  doin'  but 
when  somethin's  doin'  they  don't  do  nothin'." 

"Eben!  I  am  a  Democrat,  if  you  please !  Have 
you  forgotten  that?11 

"No,  I  ain't!"  Eben's  voice  was  disconsolate: 
"I  don't  never  forgit — wisht  I  could.  I  remem- 
ber it  in  me  prayers  every  night. ' ' 

"You  just  wait,"  said  John,  "and  see  what  the 
Democrats  will  do  in  the  next  three  years. ' ' 

"Wai,  I'm  awaitin'  watchful." 

"By  the  way,  Eben,  what  do  you  say  about 
our  Mexican  policy?" 

"What  do  I  say — what  do  I  say?  Look  a-here, 
Meester  John,  I'm  a  member  of  the  church  in 
good  an'  reg'lar  standin'  an'  I  guess  it's  best  for 
my  standin'  not  to  say  what  I  think  'bout  it." 

At  this  moment,  little  fat-cheeked  Jimmy  pushed 
open  the  door  and  obtruded  a  tousled  head  in  a 
red  worsted  cap:  he  was  the  son  of  one  of  Eben's 
hired  men;  John  had  sent  him  on  an  important 
errand  before  luncheon. 

"Here's  your  answer,  Mister,"  he  said. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    211 

John  held  out  one  hand  whilst  the  other  found 
a  coin  for  the  boy  which  nearly  took  his  breath 
away.  John  was  amazed  at  the  ^eagerness  with 
which  he  broke  the  seal  and  the  pleasure  he  felt 
at  sight  of  the  well-remembered  handwriting,  the 
handwriting  so  indicative  of  character — straight- 
forward, clear,  with  firm  straight  lines  and  artis- 
tic curves. 

"DEAR  JOHN,"  he  read: 

*  'It  will  give  me  pleasure  to  see  you  again.  You 
are  associated  with  Father  and  with  the  far-off 
happy  days  of  childhood  in  my  old  home.  How 
long  ago  those  days  seem !  How  far  we  have  gone 
from  that  happy  play  time!  You  were  Father's 
favourite  pupil — the  son  of  his  dearest  friend: 
I  never  forget  that. 

"I  shall  be  glad  to  talk  with  you  of  him:  be- 
cause, although  they  love  him  devotedly  in  Elm- 
croft,  there  are  very  few  here  who  understand  how 
truly  great  is  the  man  they  love. 

"I  remember  your  admiration  for  his  intellect 
and  your  appreciation  of  him  in  those  old  days 
and  I  am  glad  to  see,  from  your  note,  that  you, 
also,  remember  with  gratitude  what  he  did  for 
you.  You  are  right,  it  is  a  wonderful  gift  to 
have  had  his  training,  mental  and  spiritual. 

"I  will  be  at  home  at  four  o'clock.  Welcome 
waits  for  you. 

"Sincerely  yours, 

"MARION  MEREDITH." 


212   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

John  folded  the  note  with  an  expression  of 
relief.  After  all  she  was  not  lacking  in  tact,  this 
country  girl!  She  intended  to  ignore  the  crisis 
of  that  May-time,  and  they  would  meet  in  the  old 
comradeship  of  their  childhood :  he  kept  his  mind 
away  from  the  remembrance  that  he  wanted  to 
forget,  and  fastened  it  upon  the  romps,  the  tum- 
bles, the  nutting,  the  sledding,  and  the  skating- 
parties,  of  those  glad  days  of  childhood:  and 
mostly  on  the  hours  when  he  and  Marion  had  lis- 
tened to  his  mother's  stories — those  wonderful 
stories  at  which  they  wept  and  laughed  together. 

At  three- thirty  he  started  for  the  village:  on 
his  way  he  met  two  or  three  of  his  old  comrades, 
and  their  deference  to  him  partly  amused  and 
partly  irritated  him:  John's  nature  was  made  of 
many  moods. 

The  tiny  house  was  on  the  Main  Street;  an 
elaborately  painted  sign,  on  the  front  door,  stated 
that  Miss  Smith  made  dresses  in  the  latest  fash- 
ion. Miss  Smith  opened  the  door  with  effusion. 

"Well,  now,  I'm  proud  to  see  you  in  my  humble 
home;  just  step  right  in  the  parlour,  and  I'll  call 
Miss  Marion — she  '11  be  down  in  a  minute. ' ' 

John  greeted  Miss  Smith  with  a  cordiality  which 
made  her  proud,  and  went  into  the  little  stuffy 
room  filled  with  wax  flowers,  photographs  and 
chromos.  It  had  a  new  set  of  furniture  which 
Miss  Smith  had  recently  bought  with  her  scanty 
earnings  at  a  clearing-ont  sale :  the  formation  of 
the  tortuous  chairs  delighted  her  heart ;  that  they 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    213 

were  composed  of  most  back-breaking  inequali- 
ties, and  covered  with  colours  which  swore  vio- 
lently at  each  other,  did  not  trouble  her. 

Miss  Smith  left  the  room :  John  heard  her  feet 
pattering  down  the  hall;  in  a  few  moments  he 
heard  them  pause,  then  come  pattering  back 
again ;  she  opened  the  door : 

"Mr.  Wright,  will  you  think  me  very  bold  if 
I  ask  you  a  question?  I  don't  mean  to  be  inquisi- 
tive, but  me  and  Amelia  Brown  have  been  arguing 
over  the  matter.  How  many  rooms  have  you  got 
in  your  new  house?" 

"How  many  rooms?"  John  asked,   amused. 
"Really,  I  don't  know;  I  never  counted." 

"Don't  know!  don't  know  how  many  rooms 
you've  got  in  your  own  house?  Never  counted  the 
rooms  in  your  own  house?" 

Miss  Smith's  attitude  conveyed  distrust  and 
doubt:  he  felt  called  upon  to  redeem  himself:  he 
made  a  quick  calculation — 

"I  should  say " 

"Counting  the  kitchen,"  broke  in  Miss  Smith. 

"I  should  say — about  fifty-seven — counting  the 
kitchen. ' ' 

' '  Fifty-seven !  Land-o  'mercy-sakes !  Fifty- 
seven! — then  Amelia  Brown  was  just  as  wrong 
as  me!" 

To  his  great  relief  she  went:  once  again  he 
heard  the  pattering  of  her  feet  along  the  hall  and 
this  time  he  heard  them  patter  up  the  little  stairs 
at  the  end  of  it. 


CHAPTER  XVH 

JOHN  went  to  the  window — the  sun  was  shin- 
ing on  the  lingering  down-trodden  snow:  he 
looked  up  the  Village  street,  and  memories  awoke : 
that  old  Village  street !  with  its  long  line  of  grace- 
ful naked  elm  trees  on  either  side  arching  across 
the  broad  road :  he  knew  every  turn,  every  curve 
of  it:  recollections  of  boyish  pranks  came  back 
to  him — and  in  every  adventure  there  was  the 
flashing  vivid  picture  of  Marion.  He  did  not 
know  how  long  he  had  stood  there  when  a  voice 
that  held  in  it  unforgettable  cadences,  the  poig- 
nant quality  which  goes  straight  to  the  heart,  said 
quietly — 

"Good  afternoon,  John." 

He  turned  and  saw  Marion  standing  in  the  door- 
way— not  the  gay  mischievous  Marion  he  had 
been  seeing  in  memory  but  the  Marion  of  later 
days,  now  sorrow-touched  and  infinitely  more 
lovely.  The  light  of  the  sun  fell  upon  her:  she 
stood  straight  and  fragile  as  a  lily.  There  was 
an  indefinable  quality  about  her — a  haunting 
sweetness  that  was  perilously  like  pathos — and 
yet  was  very  far  from  pathos.  One  could  see  that 
she  had  looked  into  the  eyes  of  sorrow — but  one 

214 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    215 

could  also  see  that  she  had  looked  beyond  sor- 
row. Her  shining  hair  was  simply  twisted  about 
her  small  head — she  was  dressed  in  a  black 
woollen  dress — absolutely  plain  and  severe;  a 
white  lawn  collar,  turned  back,  showed  the  curves 
of  her  throat — there  was  not  a  trace  of  ornament 
about  her.  Suddenly  "A  bolt  was  shot  back 
somewhere"  in  John's  breast,  and  "A  lost  pulse 
of  feeling  stirred  again. ' '  Marion  came  forward 
with  outstretched  hand,  she  had  the  ease  of  an 
empress :  the  ugly  little  room  might  have  been  a 
throne-room  for  the  manner  of  her  greeting,  and 
yet  it  might  have  been  a  woodland  nursery  for 
its  childlike  naturalness  and  unaffected  sim- 
plicity. 

"It  is  very  nice  to  see  you  again,  John — 
Father" — there  was  a  break  in  her  voice  at  the 
word  Father — "was  always  very  fond  of  you." 

Once  more  she  had  struck  the  right  note  for  his 
comfort  and  for  her  own  dignity:  she  had  chosen 
to  ignore  the  fuller  personal  memories  that  lay 
between  them  and  had  gone  to  that  pleasant 
ground  of  childhood  interests.  John  took  her 
hand  and  looked  down  upon  her :  his  heart  swelled 
within  him :  a  great  tenderness  surged  toward  this 
lonely  bereft  girl—the  friend  of  his  boyhood — 
the  daughter  of  the  man  he  respected  above  all 
other  men — a  tenderness  that  had  a  beneficent 
effect  upon  his  own  heart. 

"How  much  I  owe  that  noble  man — your 
Father!" 


216   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

The  colour  came  to  her  cheeks,  a  light  came  into 
her  eyes.  John,  also,  had  said  the  right  thing. 

"  Father  was  noble — he  is  noble — that  is  one 
thing  I  cannot  do,  I  cannot  use  the  past  tense 
about  Father." 

"No,  of  course  you  cannot,  why  should  you?" 

"He  is  always  beside  me,"  Marion  continued, 
"and  it  gives  me  strength  for — "  again  the  poig- 
nant note  in  her  voice — "for  everything." 

A  new  emotion  swept  over  John ;  very  tenderly 
he  spoke: 

"May  I  ask  you  to  tell  me  something  about  him 
— all  that  you  are  willing  to  share?" 

Simply  she  told  the  story  of  her  father's 
death. 

"I  used  to  doubt  God,  sometimes "  she 

ended. 

"You?"  he  interrupted,  surprised. 

"Yes,  sometimes,  when  I  read  certain  books  and 
after  I  had  talked  with  certain  persons."  John 
wondered  with  a  haunting  self-reproach  if  he 
were  one  of  the  certain  persons.  * '  But  now, ' '  she 
looked  like  a  white  flame,  "I  shall  never  doubt 
God  any  more — I  have  seen  Father  die." 

John  felt  a  desire  to  kneel.  There  was  silence 
in  the  room  for  a  few  moments — and  then  he  said 
persuasively : 

"And  may  I  ask  you  about  yourself?" 

"There  is  nothing  to  tell  about  me." 

"There  must  be  much  to  tell.  Remember,  I  am 
your  oldest  friend ;  we  were  children  together.  I 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    217 

have  come  down  here  especially  to  know  how  you 
are,  who  is  taking  care  of  you,  and — if  I  may  pre- 
sume to  ask — something  of  your  future." 

"Let  me  see — there  are  three  things,"  a  touch 
of  her  old  spirit  flashed  forth — "How  am  I? 
Where  am  I!  And  whither  am  II  First,  I  am 
Very  well  and  I  am  strong:  I  could  pick  up  this 
house  with  my  right  hand  and  move  it  wherever 
you  say." 

"That  convinces  me  that  you  are  ill — ill  and 
feverish ! ' ' 

"How  very  discouraging!"  Marion  smiled: 
"We  always  argued — you  and  I,  when  we  were 
children — Oh,  dear !  It  has  begun  again. ' ' 

"No,  but  seriously,  Marion,  I  don't  like  the 
look  in  your  face:  you  ought  to  see  a  doctor;  you 
are  too  fragile." 

"How  very  uncomplimentary  you  are:  you  are 
as  bad  as  Miss  Smith — she  says  I  am  as  'white  as 
a  peeled  onion.'  " 

"I  don't  like  your  moving  houses  around." 

Marion's  silvery  laugh  rang  musically,  at  last. 
John  suddenly  realised  that  he  had  been  eagerly 
waiting  and  watching  for  it. 

"Don't  be  alarmed,  I  won't  disturb  the  Village. 
Really  and  truly,  Doctor  Wright,  I  am  very  well 
— only  tired,  naturally.  Now^  for  the  second 
thing."  She  counted  on  her  fingers:  John 
watched  her  expressive  hands: 

"Who  is  taking  care  of  me? — Good,  kind  Miss 
Smith:  she  would  lay  down  her  life  for  me — be- 


218    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

cause  I  am  Father 's  child:  when  I  demur  at  the 
trouble  she  takes  to  give  me  everything  I 
want " 

"Everything  you  want ?"  John  looked 

about  the  room  and  groaned  inaudibly. 

* '  She  always  tells  me,  ' '  Marion  continued, ' '  that 
Dr.  Meredith  saved  her  from  death  in  this  life 
and  death  in  the  life  to  come — think  of  it — as  if 
there  could  be  death  in  the  life  to  come!  'It's 
little  enough,'  she  says,  'to  do  for  his  daughter.' 
Moreover — "  Marion  looked  up  with  the  uncon- 
scious archness  that  had  always  fascinated  John 
in  the  old  days — "I  think  she  likes  me  a  little  bit 
for  my  own  self." 

"Bather!"  John  assented  emphatically. 

"And  now  the  third  question — "  said  Marion, 
laying  her  third  finger  in  the  palm  of  her  left 
hand — "My  future? — That  is  veiled  in  mist! 
Doesn't  it  sound  exciting?  It  is  really  quite 
thrilling  not  to  know  what  destiny  lies  before 
one:  everything  is  a  surprise!  My  future  may- 
be  the  vast  enterprise  of  hat-trimming :  I  am  con- 
sidering going  into  business  with  Miss  Smith  and 
having  a  branch  office  here.  I  have  an  original 
inspiration! — that  is  to  combine  the  two  mo- 
mentous Realities  of  life — gowns  aind  hats:  it 
would  simplify  living  by  saving  time.  Now,  all 
a  woman's  mental  and  physical  forces  are  sum- 
moned to  face  the  great  problem  of  the  universe 
— what  she  shall  wear:  she  spends  hours  at  her 
dressmaker's  and  then  turns  to  some  little  aside 


— like  Church  work  or  Social  Settlement  work  or 
some  incidental  of  that  kind — and  then,  just  as 
she  gets  started  on  her  work,  she  has  to  go  off 
again  on  the  problem  of  hats.  But  if  it  could  all 
be  in  one  house,  and  under  one  scheme — one  great 
architectural  plan,  so  to  speak,  it  would  be  a 
time- saver." 

" Excellent!"  John  entered  into  the  persiflage 
with  enthusiasm — "Excellent!  I  call  that  a  most 
far-seeing  enterprise:  you  combine  the  genius  of 
an  artist  with  the  practicality  of  a  financier." 

"If  I  can't  endure  millinery — and  I'll  admit  it 
has  its  limitations — I  may  go  into  the  office  of 
William  Bristo,  Attorney  at  Law:  he  offered  me 
the  large  and  munificent  sum  of  six  dollars  a  week 
if  I  would  write  his  letters." 

1 '  Will  Bristo  ?    Heavens ! ' ' 

Marion  nodded  her  head: 

"I  quite  agree  with  you!  But,  as  Eben  says, 
'When  all  fruit  fails,  welcome  haws' — Mr.  Bristo, 
at  least,  appreciates  my  executive  ability,  and 
that  is  most  sustaining.  The  old  ladies  of  the 
Congregation  think  I  am  well-meaning,  but  help- 
less :  they  think  I  am  ornamental  but  useless.  It 
was  balm  to  my  pride  when  Will  Bristo  paid  me 
the  high  compliment  of  saying  that  I  wrote  faster 
than  he  did — and  you  know  Will  Bristo  is  a  very 
rapid  young  man!" 

They  both  laughed  in  the  spontaneous  old-time 
way,  remembering  the  lazy  snaillike  methods  of 
Will  Bristo. 


220    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"So  you  see  my  future  is  entirely  secure — 
though  uncertain — so  many  vocations  open  and 
call!  There  was  a  nice  old  lady  who  wanted  me 
for  a  companion — but  I  did  not  choose  to  narrow 
my  life  into  a  groove.  I  thought  I'd  prefer  to 
keep  to  the  larger  career." 

This  nonsense,  born  of  a  lofty  spirit,  stirred 
John  to  admiration,  even  to  enthusiasm:  he 
thought  of  the  badinage  of  women  of  the  world 
whose  shibboleth  is  poise,  and  he  wondered  how 
many  of  them  would  have  played  the  game  as  this 
girl  played  it,  if  they  had  been  swept  bare  of 
every  earthly  support  and  had  been  cast  out,  alone 
in  the  cold  and  barren  world,  compelled  to  earn 
their  own  livelihood  by  the  work  of  their  hands. 

John  and  Marion  talked  naturally  and  delight- 
fully for  an  hour.  John  felt  more  and  more  as 
they  talked  that  he  was  a  boy  again.  The  feeling 
of  being  a  boy  comes  perennially  to  every  nature 
that  is  fundamentally  honest,  true  and  alive :  and 
it  brings  the  renewal  of  life  as  nothing  else  does : 
John  had  lost  it  for  a  time  in  the  fevered  exotic 
pleasures  of  New  York:  but  it  flowed  with  in- 
coming tide  into  all  the  recesses  of  his  being.  The 
consciousness  of  his  vast  wealth,  his  magnificent 
house,  his  box  at  the  opera,  his  luxurious  clubs, 
and  his  feverish  rush  of  social  pleasures  was  over- 
swept  by  a  cool  fresh  bath  of  boyish  renewal. 
During  the  hour  there  had  many  times  risen  to 
his  remembrance  the  old  question  that  he  had 
once  asked  himself  by  day  and  by  night — * l  Is  she 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    221 

delicious  because  she  is  Marion,  or  is  she  delicious 
because  she  is  woman  1 "  At  last  he  could  answer 
it !  He  had  seen  the  other  women,  he  had  a  stand- 
ard of  comparison :  he  could  judge,  beyond  a  per- 
adventure  he  knew  that  she  was  delicious  because 
she  was  Marion.  Her  hair  was  uncoiffed,  her  skin 
was  fresh  and  unpowdered,  her  dress  was  un- 
adorned :  she  had  no  material  accessories  to  frame 
her  nor  to  enshrine  her:  she  was  only  herself — 
and  yet  she  charmed  him  by  her  unequalled  per- 
sonality: she  fascinated  him  as  the  subtle  inde- 
scribable Spring  fascinates  the  feverish  and  the 
city-bound.  She  gave  him  the  excitement  of 
watching  for  the  unexpected.  He  could  determine, 
almost  to  a  nicety,  what  the  women  in  New  York 
would  do  under  any  given  circumstance,  but  one 
could  never  know  what  Marion  would  do  or  say: 
this  gave  sharp  zest,  stimulating  exhilaration  to 
her  companionship. 

John  had  found  the  time  full  of  many-sided  de- 
lights! And  there  was  also  a  growing  at-home- 
ness:  if  there  had  been  any  inward  embarrassment 
in  their  meeting — to  him  and  to  Marion — it  had 
quickly  worn  off:  an  enthusiasm  of  common  in- 
terests and  memories  waxed  with  the  moments. 

There  is  no  meeting-ground  more  calculated  to 
break  down  the  barriers  and  to  banish  embarrass- 
ment than  the  meeting-ground  of  a  memory  of 
childhood  spent  together. 

"Do  you  remember  this?" — "Ah!  yes,  and  do 
you  remember  that?" — creates  a  warm  atmos- 


222    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

phere  that  makes  one  feel  at  home.  Suddenly, 
Marion  turned  in  her  frank,  straightforward 
way— 

"It  has  been  delightful  to  talk  with  you,  John! 
It  makes  me  feel  like  a  little  girl  again."  She 
gave  a  sigh:  "I  am  so  tired  of  being  a  Pillar  of 
the  Church — the  Example  for  the  Town — as  Dr. 
Meredith's  daughter  is  expected  to  be." 

11  You  the  Example  for  the  Town!"  John  an- 
swered, amused.  "Why,  it  was  only  yesterday 
you  were  called  'the  Terror  of  the  Town' — by  the 
old  fogies." 

Once  more  Marion  laughed  her  musical  laugh. 

"Do  you  remember,  John,  when  that  old  woman 
went  to  Father  and  told  him  that  I  ought  to  be 
taken  in  hand,  at  once?" 

"Do  I  remember  it?  I  should  think  I  did!  I 
had  dared  you  to  the  lark  and  I  trembled  with 
remorse  when  you  were  overtaken." 

"Ah!  you  didn't  know  Father!  He  took  me  to 
his  study  and  in  a  most  dramatic  way  told  me  that 
the  Congregation  had  complained  of  me — 'They 
say,'  he  said,  'that  you  run  too  wild  and  that  I 
ought  to  take  you  in  hand.'  He  scowled  so  hard 
that  I  was  terribly  frightened:  then,  with  that 
wonderful  smile  of  his — you  remember? — he 
turned  and  said — 'I  have  decided,  my  daughter, 
to  take  you  in  two  hands'  and  he  held  out  both 
hands,  drew  me  into  his  arms,  laughed  and  kissed 
me!  Wasn't  it  just  like  him?"  A  shadow  fell 
over  Marion's  face :  "And  now,"  she  gave  a  little 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    223 

choked  sob,  "I  am  all  alone — Oh,  what  shall  I 
do?" 

''Isn't  old  Alice  with  you?"  John  asked  ten- 
derly :  he  remembered  the  faithful  old  nurse  who 
had  been  an  institution  at  the  Parsonage — a  friend 
to  all  the  children  who  frequented  it. 

Two  large  tears  rolled  slowly  down  Marion's 
cheeks  as  she  looked  at  John  with  sorrowful  eyes. 

"No,  I  had  to  part  with  her:  she  was  fine, 
very  fine — she  wanted  to  stay  with  me  and  take 
care  of  me  without  wages ! — but,  of  course,  I  would 
not  consent  to  that.  I  think  that,  to  me,  almost 
the  worst  of  leaving  the  Parsonage  was  to  feel  that 
Alice  had  to  go  amongst  strangers.  It  doesn't 
so  much  matter  as  far  as  I  am  concerned,  but  Alice 
is  old  and  she  had  been  with  Father  always.  Just 
fancy  her  having  to  adapt  herself  to  new  persons 
and  new  ways ! ' ' 

"I  can't  fancy  it — and  I  don't  like  to!"  said 
John,  huskily.  He  fought  hard  with  an  emotion 
rising  within  him.  He  felt  he  was  again  the  boy 
sitting  beside  his  best  friend  yearning  to  comfort 
her  as  he  used  to  do  when  she  was  hurt :  to  protect 
her  with  loyal  chivalry  as  he  used  to  do  when  trou- 
ble overtook  her:  the  friend  with  whom  he  had 
always  shared  his  nuts,  his  smoothest  and  his 
prettiest  pebbles  and  all  his  hard-won  treasures. 

An  ardent  impulse  of  frank  comradeship  pos- 
sessed him.  John  had  always  been  given  to  spon- 
taneous impulses :  of  late  a  sophisticated  reserve 
had  held  this  tendency  in  check :  there  was  a  reae- 


I 


224 

tionary  joy  in  being  once  more  overswept  by  one 
— he  was  for  a  moment  just  the  boy :  he  did  not 
stop  to  think,  to  weigh,  to  consider! 

"Why  not ? "  he  said  to  himself — * '  She  has  been 
my  friend  since  babyhood:  her  father  was  my 
mother's  dearest  friend  throughout  her  married 
life :  he  taught  me  the  best  I  know  in  literature  and 
in  life :  she  is  exactly  like  a  sister — she  has  been, 
always,  exactly  like  a  sister." 

"Marion "  his  voice  startled  her. 

"Yes,"  she  answered  with  indrawn  breath. 

"Marion,  we  have  been  friends  since  baby- 
hood." 

The  warm  colour  flew  to  her  pale  cheeks — '  *  We 
have  always  been  friends!" 

"Marion,  may  I  beg  a  favour  of  you ?  Will  you 
be  generous? — Will  you  let  me  help  you?" 

"Oh,  yes!"  and  she  held  out  her  hand. 

"Thank  you.  I  will  see  the  use,  the  good,  of 
my  fortune  if  you  will  use  it!" 

She  looked  at  him,  dazed  for  a  moment,  then 
she  rose  and  backed  away  from  him:  her  eyes 
grew  large  and  wide — deep  within  them  a  furious 
fire  began  to  blaze. 

"Money?" — her  tone  was  tense — "You  mean 
money!  You  DAKE!" 

Here  was  a  new  Marion :  the  girl,  who  had  been 
a  simple  eager  child  the  moment  before,  became 
suddenly  magnificent  in  the  sweeping  rush  of  her 
pride :  she  was  a  flaming  creature  that  combined 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    225 

and  condensed  the  bitterness,  the  withering  wrath, 
the  fierce  uncompromising  scorn  of  woman. 

"I  might  have  known!"  Her  words  were  like 
a  lash.  "How  could  I  have  expected  anything 
different  from  the  man  who  sold  his  soul  for 
money ! '  ' 

"Marion!"  The  dignity  in  John's  voice  would 
have  held  in  check  another  woman:  but  Marion 
knew  no  half-way  mood — she  went  on  hotly : 

"You  had  it  in  you  to  do  great  things — to 
become  famous,  distinguished — but  what  are 
you  ?  Have  you  a  public  reputation,  as  you  might 
have  had? — No.  Are  you  famous  in  politics,  in 
art,  in  literature? — No.  What  active  interest  do 
you  take  in  the  throbbing  democratic  life  of  the 
world — the  life  that  is  moving  on  to  great  issues  ? 
—NONE!  "What  do  you  stand  for? — The  papers 
speak  of  you  as  a  well-dressed  multimillionaire! 
Ough!"  she  made  a  gesture  of  scorn  with  her 
expressive  hands:  there  was  more  -shuddering 
denunciation  in  her  "ough"  than  in  all  the  re- 
corded philippics.  She  paused,  but  before  he 
could  speak  she  continued — "I — I — Why  should  I 
not  say  it? — I  LOVED  YOU!" — though  her  words 
were  like  scathing  fire  they  had  a  simple  direct- 
ness as  if  spoken  by  a  disembodied  soul — "I  loved 
the  man  I  thought  you  were.  You  knew  it — that 
May  morning  when  we  parted  in  the  orchard — you 
knew  it — the  night  before — as  well  as  if  I  had 
shouted  it  upon  the  housetop!  I  had  been  un- 
maidenly  enough  to  let  you  see  my  heart — fool 


226    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

enough  to  trust  you — to  show  you  that  I  loved  you 
— Ah !  how  I  loved  you !  And  what  did  you  do  ?— 
You  flung  me  aside,  out  of  your  path — for  what? 
For  glory? — for  distinction?  No! — for  common 
dross — for  MISERABLE  MONEY " 

"Marion! " 

But  she  rushed  on,  unheeding. 

"Then,  thank  God,  I  stopped  loving  you — hate 
burned  out  the  love!  I  hated  you — more,  far 
more,  than  I  had  ever  loved  you!  And — after  a 
while — I  didn't  care  enough  even  to  hate :  I  forgot 
— FORGOT,  do  you  understand?  You  were  nothing 
to  me — nothing  whatever!  To-day,  when  you 
wrote  about  Father" — the  break  in  her  voice 
gripped  John's  heart — "I  even  forgot  your  das- 
tardly act — I  went  straight  back  to  our  child- 
hood— I  remembered  how  we  had  studied  together 
in  his  room — I  let  you  come — I  welcomed  you — I 
was  glad  to  welcome  you — I  did  not  know" — there 
was  no  break  in  her  voice  now,  her  words  were  like 
the  sting  of  a  sharp  stiletto — "I  did  not  know 
that  you  had  come  to  insult  me ! ' ' 

"Insult  you?  Oh!"  John's  voice  was  full  of 
anguish. 

"Yes,  insult  me — could  any  insult  be  greater 
than  to  offer  me  money — after — after — that  May 
morning?" 

John  uttered  a  cry  like  the  cry  of  a  drowning 
man. 

"You  do  not  understand " 

"Hush!    I  will  not  listen  to  you  ever  again!" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    227 

she  interrupted  him,  raising  her  hand  with  the 
superb  gesture  of  an  high  priestess — 

"Your  soul  is  so  buried  under  material  dross, 
that  you  have  lost  the  power  even  to  see  what  you 
have  done.  It  is  a  waste  of  breath  to  talk  to  you 
— a  man  without  a  soul  is  dead — dead — DEAD! — 
Good  afternoon." 


CHAPTER 


How  he  got  out  of  the  little  room,  when  Marion 
abruptly  left  him,  John  never  knew  :  how  he  found 
his  way  back  to  the  farm,  he  never  knew.  A  dreary 
March  storm  had  come  up  and  the  sleet  beat  upon 
his  faee;  he  was  unconscious  of  it:  the  shadows1 
fell  deep  and  heavy  ;  he  was  unconscious  of  them. 

When  he  reached  the  farm  house,  he  gave  per- 
emptory orders  to  Eben  not  to  disturb  him  and 
went  up  to  his  old  den. 

He  turned  the  rusty  key  in  the  door,  sat  down 
at  the  battered  desk  where  he  had  spent  so  many 
hours  of  work,  of  hope,  of  ambition;  and  there, 
in  the  gathering  twilight,  he  faced  himself. 

Too  late  he  knows,  too  late  he  understands,  too 
late  he  sees  his  irrevocable  doom. 

The  miracle  has  happened  in  his  life  !  Love  has 
at  last  asserted  its  immortal  self!  It  has  always 
been  there  —  with  folded  wings,  waiting  —  now  the 
wings  are  wide  spread!  He  knows  now  that  he 
has  always  loved  Marion:  since  the  early  days 
when  together  they  roamed  the  woods,  waded  the 
streams,  climbed  the  mountains  marvelling  at  the 
wonder  of  unfolding  life,  he  has  loved  her  and 
only  her  —  there  had  never  been  any  one  but 
Marion!  —  No  one  except  HIMSELF!  —  Alas!  Self 

228 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    229 

had  been  there,  obtrusive,  eclipsing,  confusing, 
hiding  the  light — his  volatile,  passionate,  thought- 
less, undeveloped,  unconsidering  Self:  that  Self 
—the  tempestuous  outcome  of  perpetual  battle 
between  dynamic  strength  to  do  great  things  and 
fatal  weakness  to  yield  to  oversweeping  currents 
of  temptation — that  Self  had  come  between  the 
vision  vouchsafed  to  him  and  his  own  soul. 

Marion  had  been  beside  him  a  bright  radiance, 
and  he  had  been  concerned  with  his  own  affairs, 
his  own  prospects,  his  own  interests,  his  material 
desires,  his  worldly  ambitions:  he  had  taken  her 
for  granted  as  he  had  taken  for  granted  the  sun 
and  the  circumambient  air :  she  had  been  one  with 
the  beauty  of  hill  and  dale,  of  flowering  meadows 
and  cloud-crowned  hills ;  and  he  had  turned  from 
the  familiar  in  his  impatient  curiosity  to  dis- 
cover the  unknown:  the  true  realisation  of  her  had 
been  obscured  by  the  vivid  alluring  pictures  his 
mind  made  of  the  women  who  lived  beyond  the 
hills,  which  had  held  a  fascination,  a  tempting 
lure  to  his  youthful  dreams:  more  potent  than 
sirens  to  a  man  are  the  phantoms  formed  by  his 
own  imagining. 

Then  he  had  gone  to  New  York,  and  in  the 
benumbing  intoxication  of  the  manifold  adven- 
tures, excitements,  interests,  happenings,  and  sur- 
prises of  the  last  two  years  the  thought  of  Marion 
had  drifted  into  the  background.  But  now  he 
KNOWS  !  He  has  seen  the  women  beyond  the  hills 
and  he  has  seen  Marion  with  new  vision:  he 


230    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

can  compare  them  with  impartial  eyes : — amongst 
them  all  Marion  shines  like  a  morning  star! 

The  city  women  are  dazzling  products  of  their 
class:  this  one  is  clever — that  one  is  cultured — 
another  is  beautiful — another  is  sparkling — Mrs. 
Winthrop,  ah !  Mrs.  Winthrop  is  more  than  most ; 
— but  true  men  are  triune  and  need  a  circle  to  sat- 
isfy the  soul. 

Mrs.  Winthrop  arouses  his  senses,  stimulates 
his  mind;  but  his  spiritual  self  is  stifled  in  her 
presence;  he  knows  that  soul-expression  would 
bore  that  bright  lady  to  yawns:  whilst  Marion! 
— Marion  quickens  the  hidden  springs:  in  HER 
presence  he  becomes  aware  of  that  "  unregarded 
river'*  of  his  life  which  pursues  "with  indiscern- 
ible flow  its  way'*  beneath  the  hard  surface  which 
has  overlaid  him.  He  feels  that  with  Marion  he 
knows  "the  hills  where  his  life  rose"  and  "the 
sea  where  it  goes."  When  he  is  with  Marion  the 
vision  shines  beneath  the  veil  and  he  hears  the 
beating  of  the  angel 's  wings.  Yet,  none  the  less, 
is  her  charm  a  very  human  one — vital,  arousing, 
stimulating;  her  mind  a  sharp  lance  to  meet  and 
tourney  with  his  own:  she  has  read  the  books  he 
has  read — she  has  pondered  the  subjects  he  has 
pondered,  she  discusses  them  cleverly  and  well 
without  pretence,  with  crystalline  simplicity — -in 
all  things  she  is  frank  and  straightforward  which, 
in  the  final  analysis,  is  the  most  lasting  charm  of 
character. 

Yes !  he  can  compare  her  in  this  hour  of  revela- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    231 

tion!  She  moves  every  side  of  his  nature:  in 
spiritual  beauty  she  awakens  his  soul,  in  mental 
strength  she  arouses  his  mind;  and  even  his 
senses,  which  the  alluring  women  of  New  York 
delight,  find  greater  delight  in  Marion  Mere- 
dith's beauty:  the  women  of  New  York  compared 
with  her  are  as  costly  works  of  art  to  a  fresh 
June  rose  with  morning  dew  sparkling  upon  its 
petals. 

Marion  had  stood  before  him,  unadorned,  un- 
'touched  by  any  art  or  artifice  of  toilette — she 
had  had  no  stage  upon  which  to  play  her  part,  no 
environment  to  advantage  her;  yet,  in  that  ugly 
barren  little  room  of  the  dressmaker's,  in  her 
austere  black  she  was  beautiful  beyond  compare 
and  stirring  beyond  precedent:  she  had  circled 
the  whole  gamut  of  human  emotion — she  had 
touched  with  poignant  appeal  every  vibrant  chord, 
dramatically;  finally  the  flash  of  her  scorn,  her 
proud  wrath,  her  scathing  words  (to  the  truth  of 
which  his  inherent,  deep-down  honesty  responded) 
aroused  him  with  galvanic  quickening.  A  titanic 
force  shakes  him. 

At  last  he  loves  as  he  has  always  known  he 
could  love.  And  she  whom  he  loves  is  Marion 
Meredith!  With  the  same  surety  that  he  knows 
he  loves  her  at  last,  he  knows  that  he  will  love  her 
as  long  as  his  life  shall  endure — her  simple  sweet- 
ness, her  splendid  truth,  her  adorable  straight- 
forward frankness. 

He  tells  himself  that  the  ebb  and  flow  of  those 


232    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

ignorant  and  unworthy  years — which  had  tossed 
his  unequal,  unstable,  volatile  nature  back  and 
forth — had  been  but  as  the  surging  and  resurg- 
ing  of  the  sea  when  the  tide  is  coming  in.  Ah! 
how  blind  he  had  been,  selfish,  self-centred,  ig- 
noble, blind!  Now  he  knows :  and  HE  KNOWS  IT  is 

TOO  LATE. 

And  she  had  given  him  her  love — it  had  been  his 
to  take! — and  he  had  lost  it! — lost  it? — he  had 
sold  it,  as  he  had  sold  himself,  for  millions :  he  had 
forfeited  the  imperishable  glory  for  gold — he  had 
lost  his  soul  to  gain  the  world — and  a  man  with- 
out a  soul  is  dead:  Marion  had  said  this — and  it 
is  true. 

Nineteen  hundred  years  ago  the  Great  Philoso- 
pher had  spoken  a  Word  that  echoes  still  across 
the  centuries:  "What  shall  it  profit  a  man  if  he 
shall  gain  the  whole  world,  and  lose  his  own 
soul  ? ' '  John  had  often  heard  that  word  with  his 
outward  ear  and  it  had  always  seemed  to  him 
merely  the  ambiguous  statement  of  a  transcen- 
dentalist:  but  he  had  never  really  heard  it  until 
that  hour.  At  last  the  echo  rang  and  vibrated 
through  and  through  his  consciousness :  it  was  no 
longer  merely  a  text  for  a  parson  to  preach  from 
on  a  Sabbath  morning:  it  was  a  vital  practical 
truth,  as  modern  and  as  alive  to-day  as  when  He, 
who  spake  it,  asked  the  question.  He — John- 
had  lost  his  soul !  and  what  gain  had  come  to  him 
in  the  transaction?  It  was  a  plain  mathematical 
problem — a  question  of  profit  and  loss,  as  much 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    233 

so  as  any  account  kept  in  a  ledger.  As  he  sat  in 
his  little  barren  room  amidst  the  gathering  shad- 
ows, an  invisible  balance  sheet  lay  before  him :  his 
mind  visualised  the  account  and  with  clear  calcu- 
lation he  considered  it. 

Profit — Gold,  Material  Possessions,  Worldly 
Power  that  comes  from  outward  circumstance, 
Triumph  in  temporary  and  transitory  things. 

Loss — Freedom,  Love,  Abundant  Life,  Power 
and  Mastery  over  circumstance,  the  finer  percep- 
tions that  evolve  from  the  unbartered  soul. 

Ah !  the  tragedy  of  the  Account !  In  this  hour 
he  sees  the  loss  of  gain,  the  worthlessness  of  gold, 
the  misery  of  millions !  What  is  his  fortune  but 
a  prison-house  to  shut  him  from  love  and  from 
life?  What  is  his  money  now  but  a  chain  upon 
his  hands  and  feet  to  bind  him  to  his  doom  I  What 
is  his  lot,  in  the  midst  of  his  wealth,  but  bondage, 
slavery,  serfdom  to  possessions — and  loneliness 
— utter  loneliness?  Never  to  touch  that  dear 
hand  again !  never  to  see  the  light  in  those  eyes, 
as  of  old  he  saw  it — sometimes  like  unto  the  calm 
clear  moon  of  the  evening  and  sometimes  like  unto 
the  bright  sun  of  the  morning!  Never,  never! 
No,  he  must  sit  face  to  face  with  lifeless,  stupid 
gold!  Money  is  the  only  wife  that  he  can  ever 
take  to  his  arms — coupons  are  the  only  children 
he  can  ever  possess! 

OT  course  he  can,  he  will  get  out,  somehow — he 
must  think — to-morrow  when  there  is  time  he  will 
think  how  he  can  most  quickly  escape,  but  though 


234    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

he  win  back  his  manhood  from  the  shameful  bar- 
gain, yet  Marion  is  lost — the  promised  Land  of 
Love  is  closed  to  him  for  ever — closed  by  his  own 
irreverent  and  careless  hand — 0  God ! 

Perhaps  that  is  what  Hell  is !  the  choice  given — 
the  choice  made — and  then  the  having  to  live  al- 
ways with  the  consequences  of  that  choice. 
Damnation  may  be  merely  having  to  eat  of  the 
fruit  of  the  tree  that  we  ourselves  have  planted. 

And  Marion  had  loved  him ! — if  he  had  known 
that! — had  he  not  known  it?  No:  he  had  felt 
what  he  thought  was  her  love  but  it  had  been 
only  a  hope :  that  he  could  have  won  her  that  eve- 
ning in  the  orchard  long  ago,  he  knew  then,  as  well 
as  now — that  he  had  already  won  her,  he  did  not 
know — he  had  never  known  until  to-day,  when  her 
burning  words  bravely  proclaimed  it :  he  had  sold 
his  soul  for  a  mess  of  pottage,  but  he  would  not 
have  sold  the  heart  of  a  girl — never  would  he  have 
done  so  base  a  thing!  He  had  turned  his  eyes 
away  from  all  that  lay  beneath  the  veil  which 
Marion  had  lifted  that  May  day — he  had  seen  the 
radiant  response  to  his  fire — ah!  he  can  recall 
it  now — but  he  had  abstained  from  gazing ;  he  had 
held  his  mind  in  equal  balance  as  to  her  answer 
to  the  question  he  had  planned  to  ask:  he  had 
been  in  doubt  if  she  knew  what  that  question  was 
to  be :  and  when  she  left  him,  with  a  gay  song  on 
her  laughing  lips,  in  the  orchard  at  sunrise,  he 
had  been  convinced  that  she  had  had  no  suspicion : 
cad — cur — anything  you  please  that  he  had  been, 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    235 

there  was  a  chivalry  within  him  that  never  would 
have  let  him  take  her  love  for  granted. 

But  he  had  sold  himself,  his  future,  the  oppor- 
tunity to  seek  and  win  her  love,  the  freedom  to 
make  his  own  life. 

Thus  his  thoughts  ran  on  and  on :  and  finally  he 
comes  to  the  present. 

What  had  he  done  to-day?  He  had  merely  ful- 
filled the  logical  outcome  of  his  ignoble  course. 
Marion  was  right — she  was  scathing  and  sharp — 
but  she  was  right — nothing  that  she  had  said  in 
her  splendid  wrath  was  sharper  than  the  things 
that  he  said  to  himself — as  he  stood  now  apart 
from  himself  and  reviewed  the  situation  as  an 
impartial  outsider.  He  had  done  a  foul  deed ;  he 
had  insulted  her !  It  was  a  dastardly  thing  to  do, 
dastardly — to  offer  her  money  after  that  May 
morning!  John  was  not  as  fair  to  himself  as  he 
would  have  been  to  another — his  logic  and  com- 
passion did  not  plead  his  own  cause  as  he  would 
have  pleaded  the  cause  of  a  friend.  That  act 
was  hideous,  undoubtedly;  it  was  lacking  in  high 
chivalry,  but  the  intent — the  purpose — was  not 
dastardly  nor  lacking  in  another  kind  of  chivalry ; 
it  had  all  seemed  so  different — so  altogether 
different,  when  he  had  felt  compelled  to  speak, 
from  the  way  the  cold  bare  act  looked  now  that  he 
saw  it  in  retrospect.  It  had  seemed,  in  the  spon- 
taneous fraternal  mood  of  the  moment,  normal, 
natural,  fitting :  in  fact,  the  only  thing  a  consider- 
ate brother  could  do  for  a  sister  in  distress.  Ah ! 


236    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

that  showed  as  nothing  else  could  show — how  the 
finer  subtler  essence  of  his  nature,  the  nice  dis- 
criminations had  been  lost:  how  his  standard  of 
measurement  had  been  belittled ! — how  his  vision 
had  been  blurred  and  befogged  by  Mammon. 

His  head  sank  on  his  closed  fists  and  rested 
there — the  shadows  fell — it  grew  dark.  The  men- 
tal action  went  on — but  with  less  coherence — more 
disjointedly.  In  spite  of  the  cold,  large  drops  of 
perspiration  gathered  on  his  forehead,  his  nails 
cut  into  the  palms  of  his  hands.  After  a  time  he 
lifted  his  head  and  took  his  match-box  from  his 
pocket ;  with  one  of  its  wax  matches  he  lighted  the 
candle  on  the  desk :  as  the  candle  flamed  and  sput- 
tered the  jewels  in  the  match-box,  catching  the 
light,  glittered  brightly:  the  diamonds  that  wove 
themselves  into  the  initials  of  his  name  flashed 
out:  a  sudden  fury  possessed  him — a  blinding 
hatred  of  wealth,  of  jewels,  of  luxury,  of  posses- 
sions; with  an  impetuous  impulse  he  flung  the 
match-box  across  the  room  into  a  dark  and  dusty 
corner :  it  was  a  petulant  and  childish  act,  but  it 
was  indicative  of  the  forces  hot  within  him,  elo- 
quent of  his  newborn  thoughts  and  deep  despair. 

Then  he  wrote  letter  after  letter  which  he  signed 
only  to  destroy.  What  were  words?  Unto  what 
was  explanation?  Was  it  not  adding  a  deeper 
wrong  to  the  wrong  already  done?  How  dare 
he  speak  one  word  to  her !  She  had  said  she  would 
not  listen  to  him  ever  again — and  there  was  with- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    237 

in  him  a  flaming  sense  of  justice  that  admitted 
she  was  in  the  right. 

The  hours  passed:  Eben,  outside,  fumed  and 
fretted:  the  supper  that  Mary  Jane  had  cooked 
was  burned  to  a  crisp :  but  still  Eben  did  not  dare 
to  knock:  as  a  farmer  senses  the  coming  of  a 
storm  so  he  sensed  some  deep  disaster  to  this  man 
whom  he  loved. 

At  last  John  wrote  a  letter  which  he  did  not 
destroy :  he  looked  at  it  when  it  was  finished,  knew 
it  was  inadequate,  perhaps  impertinent,  knew  it 
was  as  foolish  to  send  it  to  Marion  as  it  would  be 
to  send  tinder  to  burning  brush;  but  he  could 
not  be  silent,  and  this  was  the  best  that  he  could 
do.  Slowly,  he  read  the  letter  aloud: 

"In  the  name  of  your  own  great  soul,  I  beseech 
you,  hear  me,  Marion. 

"I  am  unworthy  to  approach  your  presence: 
but — though  all  the  world  withheld  me — I  must 
speak ! 

"I  will  not  ask  you  to  forgive  me — for  I  have 
forfeited  the  right  to  ask.  Perhaps,  after  long 
years  of  suffering  have  passed,  after  I  have  done 
the  penance  that  my  heart  demands,  then  I  may 
lift  up  my  eyes  to  the  radiant  vision  of  your  face 
and  ask  to  be  forgiven. 

"I  will  not  tell  y6u  that  what  I  did,  to-day, 
seems  altogether  different  from  what  I  purposed 
to  do,  because — as  you  unerringly  divined — that 
only  proves  the  dullness  of  my  perception. 


238    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

* '  But  I  must  tell  you  that  I  love  you !  Even  God 
permits  the  lowliest  penitent  to  express  his  love. 

"I  love  you  with  a  love  that  is  as  much  higher 
than  anything  I  ever  dreamed,  as  the  heavens  are 
higher  than  the  earth:  that  love  will  abide  with 
me  as  long  as  my  life  shall  last. 

"I  know  now  that  you  have  always  compelled 
my  love — since  the  days  when  together  we  looked 
for  the  fairies  amongst  the  flowers :  but  the  mists 
and  the  fogs  of  earth,  the  miasma  of  the  marshes 
blinded  and  dimmed  my  eyes.  To-day,  your  glory 
pierced  the  vapours  and  you  shone  forth  to  my 
soul! — I  saw  you  as  you  are,  and  never  again 
can  my  soul  lose  the  vision  of  that  light.  Through 
the  anguish  that  my  base  act  has  irrevocably 
bound  upon  me,  I  shall  keep  the  vision — it  will 
lead  me  on  to  something  higher,  something  better 
than  I  have  ever  known — because  Love  redeems 
the  most  unworthy — and — I  love  you,  Marion. 

"Though  you  refuse  to  listen  to  me,  perhaps,  as 
years  pass,  you  may  not  refuse  to  remember  my 
ever-unfolding  love. 

"When  your  heart  is  bitter,  I  pray  you,  remem- 
ber— I  love  you!  When  your  anger  rises  and 
would  consume  me,  remember — I  love  you!  As 
life  goes  on  and  the  shadows  lengthen,  remem- 
ber— I  love  you!  When  you  pass  beyond  this 
mortal  veil,  remember — I  love  you !  Through  all 
the  ages,  and  the  after  ages  that  you  believe  are 
to  come,  remember — I  love  you ! 

"JOHN." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    239 

He  sealed  the  note  and  handed  it  to  Eben  with 
strict  and  implicit  directions  to  put  it  with  his  own 
hand  into  Marion's  hand:  then — without  food, 
without  even  a  glass  of  water — he  went  out  into 
the  dark,  and  caught  the  midnight  train  for  New 
York. 


CHAPTER  XIX 

VERY  early  the  following  morning  Eben  went 
to  Miss  Smith's  and  asked  for  Marion.  When  he 
saw  her  he  felt  great  relief;  he  decided  that  she 
was  much  better  than  she  had  been  since  her 
father  died:  her  cheeks  looked  "as  red  as  Spitzen- 
burg  apples,"  he  told  himself,  and  "her  eyes 
were  as  snappy  as  snap."  She  took  the  letter 
which  Eben  brought  her,  quite  casually,  as  she 
might  have  taken  any  unimportant  scrap  of  paper : 
she  talked  pleasantly  to  him,  but  Eben  noticed  an 
unusual  sense  of  haste  to  be  done  and  off:  this 
appealed  to  his  practical  good  sense :  "of  course," 
he  thought,  "she  has  a  deal  of  things  to  do." 
Eben  resented  it  that  Marion  had  to  work,  yet, 
if  she  could  only  once  get  a  wee  bit  stronger,  he 
told  himself,  "it  wouldn't  do  her  no  harm,  for 
work's  healthy."  That  Marion  must  now  sew  for 
others  filled  his  honest  heart  with  wrath,  "but 
what  you  do,"  Eben  said  to  himself  argumenta- 
tively,  "ain't  so  much  deeference  as  how  you  do  it, 
an*  if  Mees  Marion  has  to  sew  seams,  she'll  sew 
'em  straight."  As  Marion  talked  to  him,  she 
was  praying  that  he  would  go  before  the  dam, 
which  she  had  built  to  keep  back  the  furious  flood 
that  threatened  her,  should  break:  as  soon  as  he 

240 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    241 

left  she  hastened  to  her  tiny  garret  room,  shut 
herself  in  and  locked  the  door. 

"A  letter!"  she  said  scornfully:  "He  dares  to 
write  me  a  letter!  Last  night  was  the  second 
time!  What  can  he  find  to  say  to  me?  What 
words  can  he  dare  to  write  I  I  will  burn  the  letter, 
unread ;  I  will  not  flatter  him  even  by  returning  it 
to  him;  that  would  be  to  acknowledge  his  exist- 
ence. '  * 

Silence  was  the  only  thing  that  a  woman's  pride 
— a  woman 's  dignity  could  return  to  such  an  insult 
as  he  had  given  to  her.  But  a  power  stronger 
than  her  will  made  her  break  the  seal,  even  whilst 
she  was  mentally  annihilating  the  letter.  And 
then  she  read  the  words  that  John  had  written  in 
his  agony! — read  them  and  understood. 

By  a  woman's  psychic  sense  and  intuition 
Marion  knew — with  a  final  surety  which  nothing 
could  shake — that  here  was  no  uncertain  sound! 
In  spite  of  everything — her  wrath,  her  pride,  her 
indignation — she  knew  that  John  loved  her  at 
last :  she  had  thought  she  knew  it  that  May  morn- 
ing centuries  ago — but  now,  ah!  now  she  knew 
beyond  all  peradventure  that  this  was  the  birth- 
cry  of  a  man's  soul. 

Over  and  over  many  times  she  read  the  letter 
which  John  had  written  from  his  anguish-laden 
heart :  and  yet — how  strange  a  paradox  is  woman ! 
— a  stronger,  fiercer  anger  grew  even  as  she  real- 
ised the  majesty  of  his  love. 

She  struck  a  match  and  held  the  letter  a  mo- 


242    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

ment,  looking  at  it  with  an  inscrutable  expression, 
then  touched  the  match  to  it  and  held  it  over  a 
little  tray  and  watched  it  burn :  it  burned  until  the 
flame  reached  her  finger  and  her  thumb,  still  she 
held  it,  and  still  it  burned — the  finger  and  the 
thumb  were  blistered  but  she  did  not  flinch ;  there 
was  relief  in  the  physical  pain :  when  the  last  frag- 
ment of  paper  was  consumed  between  her  fingers 
and  the  flame  had  quite  died  out,  she  looked  a  mo- 
ment scornfully  at  the  few  ashes  fallen  in  the  tray, 
then  she  went  to  the  high  dormer  window,  opened 
it,  and  blew  the  ashes  far  out  upon  the  March 

wind.    Then  she  went  to  the  tiny  table  that  she 
used  as  a  desk  and  hurriedly  wrote  the  following 
note — 
' '  MY  DEAB  Miss  SMITH  : 

"Father's  friend — and  my  friend— 

"You,  who  are  so  good  to  me,  told  me  always 
to  ask  you  for  anything  that  I  might  need.  I 
need  a  little  quiet — please! 

"Will  you  be  good  enough  to  guard  my  door  for 
several  hours?  I  am  on  the  verge  of  one  of  my 
all-day  headaches :  I  must  lie  down  and  keep  abso- 
lutely quiet. 

"It  is  better  for  me  to  stay  away  from  dinner: 
so  if  you  will  excuse  me  I  will  not  see  you  until 
supper  time.  By  then  I  know  I  shall  be  better. 

"For  all  your  dear  care,  so  generous  and  so 
kind,  I  am  deeply  appreciative  and  grateful. 
"Thank  you  in  Father's  name, 

' l  MARION.  ' ' 


Calling  the  little  char-girl  Marion  gave  her  the 
note  to  hand  to  Miss  Smith  when  she  returned 
from  market,  and  went  back  to  her  garret  cham- 
ber. 

This  day,  Marion  told  herself,  she  would  keep 
the  vigil  with  her  heart  and  its  new  secret. 

Once  more  she  turned  the  key  of  her  door  and 
locked  herself  in  alone  to  face  her  sorrow — and 
her  newborn  gladness ! — her  anguish — and  her  in- 
effable joy! 

The  sun  rose  bright  and  sparkling  the  next  day: 
Marion  dressed  herself  in  a  plain  black  cloth  suit 
and  a  small  black  hat  with  only  a  severe  band  of 
crepe  upon  it:  she  looked  at  herself  critically  in 
the  glass,  and  pinned  close  some  rebellious  stray 
curls.  She  looked  very  trim  as  she  went  out  into 
the  crisp  air  and  walked  quickly  to  the  trolley 
station.  She  was  only  a  girl  going  amongst  stran- 
gers to  look  for  a  position,  she  told  herself,  but 
for  some  strange  reason  she  felt  like  a  Walkyr 
riding  on  the  wind  to  battle — and  to  victory. 

She  took  the  trolley  to  the  large  town  near 
Elmcroft.  There,  she  had  an  appointment  with 
the  Principal  of  a  much-advertised  school  for 
girls. 

Two  weeks  before  Marion  had  seen  a  notice  of 
•the  death  of  the  Teacher  of  English  Literature, 
and  she  had  written  at  once  to  the  Principal,  Miss 
Howe,  asking  that  she  be  considered  for  the  po- 
sition: a  week  ago  she  had  received  an  answer, 
appointing  an  interview  for  to-day. 


244    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

During  the  week  Marion  had  been  eagerly  look- 
ing forward  to  the  event:  she  had  an  exultant 
sense  that,  in  her  talk  with  John — when  she  was 
gaily  picturing  to  him  an  imaginary  future — some 
inner  reserve  had  kept  her  from  confiding  to  him 
her  real  and  secret  hope.  Trim  hats? — Will  Bris- 
to's  secretary? — How  absurd!  Marion's  desire 
and  purpose  was  to  teach :  since  her  earliest  girl- 
hood little  children  had  always  brought  to  her 
their  difficult  problems ;  she  could  make  them  un- 
derstand their  lessons  when  no  one  else  could: 
this  hope  of  teaching  had  been  her  beacon  light 
since  the  moment  she  had  had  to  face  life  alone : 
and  now  it  was  a  possibility;  the  very  fact  that 
Miss  Howe  was  granting  the  interview  was  prom- 
ising :  at  least  no  one  else  had  been  given  the  posi- 
tion. She  held  to  her  hope  with  confidence  and 
humility:  confidence  because  she  felt  within  her- 
self a  power — and  humility  because  she  realised 
that  the  splendid  task  of  teaching  is  the  greatest 
of  all  tasks  and,  because,  appreciating  the  equip- 
ment which  is  needed  for  that  task,  she  was  keenly 
conscious  of  her  own  limitation:  "I  am  an  un- 
qualified idiot — compared  with  Father!"  she  said 
to  herself  as  she  hastened  on. 

Marion  had  heard  that  Miss  Howe  was  more 
formidable  than  her  mansion ;  that  she  was  noted 
for  a  certain  uncompromising  rigidity:  she  had 
no  tolerance  for  shams  nor  for  pretence  and  per- 
sons who  had  grievances  were  given  to  calling  her 
haughty  and  freezing. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    245 

Marion,  therefore,  approached  the  stately  house 
with  trembling :  the  trembling,  however,  was  only 
an  inward  trembling :  her  outward  bearing,  as  she 
gave  the  servant  her  name,  aroused  that  very 
smart  white-capped  and  well-aproned  personage 
to  show  Marion  into  the  reception-room  with  the 
elaborate  air  which  she  reserved  for — "them 
swells  who  knows  what's  what  and  who's  who," 
as  she  called  some  of  Miss  Howe's  patrons. 

"Yes,  miss ;  Miss  Howe '11  see  you :  she  gave  me 
your  name  and  said  you  was  to  come  for  an  ap- 
pointment." 

As  soon  as  Marion  looked  into  the  fine  austere 
face  of  Miss  Howe,  she  knew  that — however  for- 
midable her  character  might  be,  whatever  might 
be  her  austerity  in  certain  circumstances — hers 
was  a  strong,  true  and  noble  nature. 

Miss  Howe  was  a  fine  product  of  the  best  forces 
and  best  culture  of  the  twentieth  century :  to  her 
thought,  the  salvation  of  life,  the  hope  of  civilisa- 
tion lie  in  education:  she  held  her  mission  as  a 
high  and  mighty  trust ;  the  splendid  work  of  guid- 
ing girls,  who  are  to  be  the  future  mothers  of  men, 
and  of  shaping  the  coming  generation,  were,  to 
her,  the  great  opportunity  of  life. 

To  Miss  Howe,  Motherhood  was  something 
more  than  mere  breeding:  and  although  she  had 
never  had  the  ineffable  joy  of  bearing  a  child,  she 
knew  that  she  had  not  been  denied  the  highest 
function  of  Motherhood,  and  that,  after  all,  her 
lonely  life  had  fulfilled  itself  in  her  womanhood. 


246   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

Thirty  years  she  had  taught:  her  children  were 
living  in  all  parts  of  the  world :  and  now  her  chil- 
dren 's  children  were  learning  the  lessons  she  had 
taught  their  mothers. 

Miss  Howe  was  not  of  Dr.  Meredith's  church 
nor  sect,  but  she  had  had  an  unqualified  admira- 
tion for  the  intellectual  attainments  and  for  the 
character  of  the  man  whom  she  had  often  met  and 
with  whom  she  had  often  discussed  educational 
matters.  She  received  Marion  with  cordial  kind- 
ness: 

"I  knew  your  father,  Miss  Meredith,"  she  said, 
"and,  with  all  the  world,  I  honoured  and  admired 
him." 

The  rush  of  colour  to  Marion's  face  was  more 
eloquent  than  words.  Miss  Howe,  with  her  quick 
discernment,  saw  at  once  that  good  fortune  had 
come  to  her  in  this  girl :  but  it  was  like  Miss  Howe 
to  test  the  value  of  her  own  intuition  before  ac- 
cepting it  as  a  conclusion:  and  she  was  always 
businesslike  and  drastic  in  her  investigation. 

The  following  hour  was  one  of  penetrating  ques- 
tions from  Miss  Howe  and  frank  answers  from 
Marion — who  confessed  to  herself  afterwards  that 
the  Shorter  Catechism  was  not  a  circumstance 
compared  with  Miss  Howe. 

They  had  not  spoken  long  before  Miss  Howe 
discovered  that  the  girl  had  responded  to  the  ex- 
ceptional advantages  she  had  had  in  being  trained 
by  Dr.  Meredith. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    247 

"And  when,  Miss  Meredith,"  Miss  Howe  asked, 
at  last,  "did  you  finish  your  education?'* 

Marion  was  disconcerted  for  a  moment,  then 
she  answered  simply — 

"Never,  Miss  Howe!" 

"Ah,"  said  Miss  Howe,  "never?" 

"No,  Miss  Howe.  I  expect  to  study  until  I  die. 
Father  says — I  mean  he  used  to  say — that  so  far, 
I  have  only  been  learning  how  to  learn  and  study- 
ing how  to  study." 

Miss  Howe's  fine  grey  head  bent  toward 
Marion : 

"My  dear,  that  was  a  test  question.  The  place 
is  yours,  if  you  desire  it:  the  salary  is  twelve 
hundred  a  year." 

Marion  gave  a  start  of  surprise — her  Voice 
trembled — 

' l  Twelve  hundred  a  year ! — Father  would  be  so 
glad!  But — but — 0  Miss  Howe — are  you  sure 
you  are  not  making  a  mistake !  I  am  afraid — I  am 
so  ignorant — to  be  quite  frank  with  you,  some- 
times I  feel  that  I  do  not  know  anything." 

Miss  Howe's  smile  made  her  austere  face  very 
pleasant. 

"That,  my  child,  is  the  beginning  of  wisdom. 
I  do  not  often  make  mistakes." 

In  the  discussion  of  details  whicK  followed, 
Marion's  practical  training  and  her  executive 
capacity  and  grasp  stood  her  in  good  stead. 

Finally,  all  was  settled  and  Marion  was  about 


248    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

to  take  her  departure :  impulsively  she  turned  back 
from  the  door. 

"Miss  Howe,  forgive  me!  I  do  not  think  I 
thanked  you  for  your  great  kindness." 

"Indeed,  you  did!"  said  that  lady  kindly :  "You 
thanked  me  most  eloquently. ' '  She  took  Marion's 
hand.  "May  I  say  a  personal  word  to  you,  Miss 
Meredith?" 

"Oh,  please,  Miss  Howe,  say  anything.  I  want 
all  the  help  possible  to  make  me  right  for  you." 

Miss  Howe  held  her  hand  and  looked  at  her  a 
moment — the  tenderness  of  memory  in  her  eyes. 

"You  have  had  sorrow,  my  dear,  but  let  me  as- 
sure you  that  no  matter  how  difficult  it  is  to  forget 
self  there  is  no  medicine  for  sorrow  like  Work: 
the  constant  working  with  young  minds,  and  see- 
ing your  work  bear  fruit,  will  bring  an  impersonal 
happiness  which  will  give  you  a  new  and  more 
abundant  life.  It  is  hard  to  have  one's  own  per- 
sonal joy  cut  short,  but  the  universal  happiness 
that  comes  from  service  is,  believe  me,  a  bigger 
thing  than  anything  personal  can  be ! " 

A  deep  flush  overspread  Marion's  face  and  neck 
from  the  band  of  her  black  toque  to  the  band  of 
her  white  collar.  Miss  Howe  was  thinking  of  Dr. 
Meredith  and  of  the  loneliness  of  the  young  life 
suddenly  bereft  of  father  and  of  home — but  at  that 
moment  Marion  was  not  thinking  of  her  father. 


CHAPTER  XX 

John  entered  his  palatial  dwelling  in 
the  grey  of  the  morning  after  his  long  ride  from 
Elmcroft,  it  looked  to  him  like  a  strange  place 
and  he,  who  had  come  in  the  past  two  years  to  have 
a  feeling  of  being  completely  at  home  in  the  ances- 
tral mansion,  felt  like  a  stranger.  He  was  in  dire 
need  of  food,  he  had  tasted  nothing  since  noon 
of  the  day  before  and  he  was  being  overswept  by 
mighty  currents,  the  strength  of  which  he  had 
not  estimated.  As  he  passed  through  the  house 
the  evidence  of  luxury  seemed  to  crush  the  very 
life  out  of  him,  even  as  the  golden  bracelets  had 
crushed  Tarpeia  at  the  Roman  gates,  centuries 
ago,  when  she  had  let  in  the  alien  forces.  He, 
too,  had  betrayed  his  citadel,  the  fortress  of  his 
own  soul,  and  had  let  in  the  alien  forces :  the  in- 
sensate, inanimate  things — of  luxury,  of  beauty 
and  of  art — seemed  to  lie  heavy  upon  him,  to 
asphyxiate  and  to  benumb  him:  a  sense  of  hos- 
tility arose  within  him — a  wild  feeling  of  fury: 
he  hated  the  house,  he  hated  everything  in  it,  he 
hated  the  money  that  ran  it,  but  more  than  all 
he  hated  the  man  who  had  sold  himself  for  that 
money !  He  hated  the  man  who  could  possibly  do 
such  a  crass,  crude  and  unmannerly  act  as  his  rash 
impulse  had  led  him  to  do  yesterday. 

249 


250    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

With  this  strange  feeling  of  being  crushed  by 
an  insensate  mass,  alternated  another  feeling — as 
unreasonable  and  abnormal — which  came  from 
his  overwrought  nerves  and  the  hectic  fever  of 
the  brain  that  sometimes  follows  sudden  shock: 
this  was  the  feeling  that  the  things  were  not  in- 
sensate— but  that  they  were,  on  the  contrary,  all 
alive  and  menacing :  the  pictures,  the  bronzes,  the 
bric-a-brac  seemed  endowed  with  personality — 
and  they  seemed  to  be  grinning  at  him:  a  large 
bronze  figure  in  the  hall,  which  had  been  a  spe- 
cial pride  to  him,  as  he  passed  it,  became  to  his 
excited  imagination  a  hideous  monster  of  Fate: 
it  actually  seemed  to  wink  at  him  for  the  trick 
which  Fate  had  played  him. 

After  his  cold  shower,  brisk  rub  and  strong  cof- 
fee, however,  he  rallied  from  the  shock  of  the 
blow  which  had  been,  in  its  intensity,  like  a  physi- 
cal stroke :  things  assumed  their  normal  propor- 
tion and  life  fell  outwardly  into  its  accustomed 
groove. 

He  got  the  situation  and  himself  in  hand,  in 
spite  of  the  dull,  gnawing  ache  at  his  heart — 
that  ache  which  comes  after  any  great  catastro- 
phe, and  grips  one  unseen  when  one  is  striving 
to  keep  mechanical  pace  in  old  familiar  ways. 

He  gave  his  orders  briefly,  looked  through  the 
important  mail  awaiting  him,  and  hastily  left  the 
house.  With  a  new  impatience,  and  with  some- 
thing of  his  old  impetuosity,  he  ran  quickly  down 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    251 

the  steps  of  the  Remington  house  and  started  for 
the  Law  Office  of  Grimes  and  Marvin. 

John  found  Mr.  Grimes  deep  in  the  midst  of 
affairs,  although  it  was  only  ten  o'clock  in  the 
morning.  Mr.  Grimes  was  always  spick  and  span : 
even  late  in  the  day  he  always  looked  as  though  he 
were  beginning  his  day:  at  five  o'clock  of  an 
afternoon  he  had  the  air  of  having  just  come 
from  his  tub  and  the  hands  of  his  valet.  Neither 
dust  nor  dirt  nor  any  of  the  common  stains  of 
daily  life  seemed  to  touch  Mr.  Grimes:  his  col- 
lars were  never  wilted  by  summer  heat :  his  hair 
was  never  ruffled  by  winter  winds:  his  clothes 
seemed  to  throw  off  dust  by  their  own  initiative, 
apparently  needing  no  whisk  broom:  even  his 
clear  glasses  were  without  speck  or  spot. 

After  one  glance  at  John's  face,  Mr.  Grimes 
led  the  way  into  his  private  office  and  carefully 
closed  the  door. 

The  room,  like  the  master,  shone  with  scrupu- 
lous cleanliness ;  there  was  not  a  particle  of  dust 
anywhere ;  the  polished  desk  was  orderly  and  well 
arranged :  Mr.  Grimes  was  one  of  the  busiest  law- 
yers in  New  York,  as  John  knew;  he  had  innu- 
merable affairs  of  great  importance  in  his  hands, 
large  corporations  to  safeguard  and  areas  of  real 
estate  to  look  after — yet  not  a  piece  of  paper,  not 
a  letter,  not  even  a  memorandum  was  to  be  seen. 
Files  and  chests  of  private  drawers,  carefully 
docketed,  stood  against  the  wall;  but  the  desk 
might  have  been  the  desk  of  a  fastidious  old  lady, 


252    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

so  careful  was  it  in  its  nicety  and  absence  of  all 
business  suggestions. 

The  fine  Persian  rug  on  the  floor  was  rich  in 
colour,  the  prints  upon  the  walls  were  historic 
and  valuable,  the  red  leather  chairs  with  carved 
backs  were  massive  and  handsome. 

1  'In  what  way  may  I  serve  you,  Mr.  Wright?" 

Mr.  Grimes  always  spoke  with  much  formal  po- 
liteness: the  more  he  disapproved  of  a  man  the 
more  punctilious  was  that  politeness :  and  he  had 
no  enthusiasms  nor  illusions  about  John,  none 
whatever.  John  was  very  pale :  his  lips  and  throat 
were  parched. 

"Mr.  Grimes,  I  want  to  get  out  of  this." 

Mr.  Grimes  coughed  his  dry  little  cough: 

"Get  out?  I  fail  to  grasp  your  meaning,  Mr. 
Wright." 

"I  want  to  get  out  of  this  slavery — this  bond- 
age to  my  uncle's  estate." 

Mr.  Grimes  looked  at  him  coldly,  in  silence. 

"I  must,"  John  continued,  "break  this  diaboli- 
cal net  that  I  walked  into — with  my  eyes  open,  it 
is  true,  but  without  due  consideration  or  knowing 
what  I  was  doing.  I  want  to  get  out! — I  intend 
to  get  out,  and  I  look  to  you,  Mr.  Grimes,  to  help 
me  out." 

Mr.  Grimes  took  off  his  glasses,  polished  them 
with  elaborate  care,  replaced  them  on  his  sharp 
and  slender  nose,  and  said  quietly: 

"Your  metaphor  is  at  fault,  Mr.  Wright;  if 
you  will  pardon  me,  it  is  in  no  sense  a  net." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    253 

"For  God's  sake,  what  is  it  then?" 

"It  is  a  dalmatic,  which  you  have  assumed." 

" Nonsense!"  snapped  John. 

Mr.  Grimes  continued  in  his  legal  voice : 

"A  trust  is  always  an  investiture,  Mr.  Wright." 

John  threw  back  his  head: 

"This  was  a  trust  forced  upon  me — a  trust 
which  I  never  sought — a  trust  I  was  tempted  to 
assume  in  haste  before  I  had  considered  it  fully 
or  realised  what  it  involved  of  bondage — of 
agony!" 

Mr.  Grimes  gave  John  a  penetrating  glance : 

' '  Since  when  has  the  ethical  responsibility  of  a 
trust  been  dependent  upon  the  pleasure  derived 
by  the  trustee  ?  The  matter  was  laid  before  you, 
Mr.  Wright.  You  accepted  the  residuary  estate 
of  your  great  uncle  under  the  conditions  imposed 
in  the  will :  you  signed  a  covenant  that  you  would 
fulfil  and  perform  the  conditions  submitted  for 
your  consideration — and  then  after  signing  that 
covenant  you  took  possession  of  the  estate  and 
entered  the  home  of  the  testator " 

"I  did  not  know  what  it  would  involve,"  in- 
terrupted John  impatiently. 

"At  least,  Mr.  Wright,  you  were  given  full 
opportunity  to  apprehend  what  it  would  involve : 
if  the  limitations  of  human  intelligence  and  the 
absence  of  prophetic  vision  prevented  you  from 
foreseeing  the  future,  that  does  not  seem  to  me 
—nor  would  it  have  seemed  to  your  great  uncle 
— sufficient  cause  for  betraying  your  trust." 


254   THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"It  would  not  be  binding  in  any  law  in  any 
land,"  said  John  hotly. 

"Possibly  the  compulsion  of  a  condition  may 
be  questioned,  but  the  obligations  of  a  covenant 
upon  a  man's  honour  cannot  be  questioned." 

Mr.  Grimes  spoke  in  the  judicial  tone  which 
always  most  irritated  John: 

"It  was  precisely,"  continued  Mr.  Grimes,  "be- 
cause your  great  uncle  was  aware  that  he  could 
not  with  surety  evoke  any  law  as  an  absolute  de- 
fence against  your  failure  that  he  desired  to  bind 
you  by  the  aforesaid  covenant." 

"I  call  it  a  trap!"  snapped  John. 

"Different  persons  have  different  viewpoints 
and  arrive  at  different  conclusions,"  said  Mr. 
Grimes.  "I  should  call  such  a  sacred  trust  an 
opportunity.  It  is  possible  you  may  escape  the 
trap,  as  you  call  it,  by  certain  technicalities,  but 
permit  me  to  remind  you,  Mr.  Wright,  that  man 
cannot  escape  his  conscience.  There  are  some 
things  more  binding  than  law,  and  there  are 
deeper  and  stronger  laws  than  those  upon  the 
Statute  Books!" 

"Mr.  Grimes,  I  did  not  come  here  to  discuss 
ethics:  I  came  here  to  find  a  way  out  of  this 
Hell!" 

'  *  The  way  out  of  Hell,  Sir,  if  I  may  be  permit- 
ted to  suggest,  is  to  avoid  increasing  the  condi- 
tions which  make  Hell !  I  can  imagine  no  greater 
Hell  than  a  broken  covenant.  Through  the  repre- 
sentative of  the  deceased  you  entered  into  a  cov- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    255 

enant  with  your  dead  uncle:  according  to  my 
primitive  conception  of  morals" — Mr.  Grimes 
smiled  satirically — "you  are  obligated  by  every 
code  to  abide  by  that  covenant." 

1  'My  uncle  was  an  unwholesome  crank — a  luna- 
tic, and  I  will  not  be  bound  by  his  vagaries  nor  by 
his  detestable  money  any  longer!" 

Mr.  Grimes  stiffened: 

"Permit  me  to  suggest,  Mr.  Wright,  that  since 
you  did  accept  the  trust  and  are  your  great 
uncle's  representative  and  as  you  are  enjoying, 
at  the  present  time,  the  inestimable  benefits  that 
he  conferred  upon  you,  you  have,  perchance,  for- 
feited the  right  to  criticise  that  same  uncle. ' ' 

A  hot  flush  came  over  John's  face,  a  frank  boy- 
ish look  came  into  his  eyes : 

"That  is  true,  Mr.  Grimes.  I  beg  my  uncle's 
pardon — and  yours.  I  was  the  lunatic — 7  was 
the  madman — to  take  the  cursed  money — but, 
now,  I  have  become  sane.  I  have  come  to  you 
to  tell  you  that  I  intend  to  find  a  way  out ! ' ' 

"Your  great  uncle,  with  his  keen  far-sighted- 
ness, foresaw  the  possibility  of  just  such  a  con- 
tingency arising;  he,  therefore,  inserted  in  his 
will  the  clause  concerning  a  covenant,  which 
clause  met  with  so  much  disfavour  on  your  part : 
he  desired  that  we  might  have  something  more 
definite  to  depend  upon  than  your  spoken  word. ' ' 

"Mr.  Grimes!" 

Mr.  Grimes  smiled  grimly : 

"Pardon  me,  but  is  it  not  somewhat  exag- 


256    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

gerated  in  the  circumstances  for  you  to  take  um- 
brage at  my  suggesting  the  possibility  of  your 
breaking  your  word?" 

The  straightforward  honesty  of  John's  mind 
rose  above  his  anger:  he  detested  the  uncompro- 
mising penetration  of  Mr.  Grimes'  keen  rapier 
thrust ;  he  felt  that  he  hated  this  cold  calculating 
inquisitor ;  but  he  loved  the  truth  and  he  had  the 
grace  to  admit  his  error  when  he  saw  it : 

"You  are  entirely  right,  Sir."  He  waited  a 
moment;  and  as  Mr.  Grimes  did  not  deign  to  re- 
ply he  said  in  persuasive  tones: 

"I  know  all  that  you  would  urge,  Mr.  Grimes. 
I  have  said  it  over  and  over  to  myself  a  thousand 
times  in  the  last  twenty-four  hours;  but — after 
a  night's  wrestle — I  am  convinced  that  there  are 
higher  ethics  than  those  I  would  hold  myself 
bound  by.  It  is  false  morality  to  be  enslaved  in 
any  circumstances  by  a  code  of  ethics  that  con* 
tradicts  the  ethics  of  life." 

"I  thought  it  was  suggested  that  we  should  re- 
frain from  discussing  ethics." 

The  very  polite  and  suave  tone  in  which  Mr. 
Grimes  spoke  maddened  John,  but  he  went  on  as 
though  Mr.  Grimes  had  not  spoken: 

"If  I,  unthinking — unknowing,  I  may  say- 
make  a  covenant  that,  later,  I  come  to  see  contra- 
dicts my  fundamental  philosophy  of  life,  it  seems 
to  me  it  is  my  larger  duty  to  break  that  cove- 
nant." 

"That,  Mr.  Wright,  may  be  true." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    257 

"Thank  you,  Sir.  I  am  glad  you  see  the  logic 
of  it." 

"I  should  scarcely  call  it  logic — but  I  appre- 
hend what  you  mean." 

Mr.  Grimes  looked  at  John  in  silence  with  what 
John  was  in  the  habit  of  calling  his  fishy-look : — 
after  a  moment  he  said  in  quite  an  impersonal 
businesslike  tone: 

"Mr.  Wright,  what  was  the  exact  sum  which 
you  inherited  from  your  great  uncle?" 
"Thirty  million  dollars,  as  you  know." 
"I  beg  you  will  pardon  me  if  I  ask  you  what 
is  the  sum  you  now  have  in  your  possession?" 
* '  Twenty  million  dollars. ' ' 
"Ten  millions  gone  in  two  years!" 
"Half  of  the  capital  became  mine  outright." 
"Certainly,"  replied  Mr.  Grimes,  "half  of  it 
was  so  left." 

"If,"  continued  John,  "I  desired  to  endow  ob- 
jects that  have  always  appealed  to  me,  to  sur- 
round myself  with  works  of  art,  if " 

Mr.  Grimes  raised  his  interrupting  hand: 
"I  make  no  criticism,  none  whatever,  Mr. 
Wright :  it  would  be  injudicious,  in  fact  it  would 
be  altogether  an  impertinence  for  me  to  do  so. 
But  as  the  executor  of  your  great  uncle's  will 
and  as  the  lawyer  in  whose  hands  his  testamentary 
affairs  were  left,  there  is  another  question  which, 
with  much  regret,  I  am  compelled  to  ask. — I  beg 
that  you  will  pardon  me.  Do  you  happen  to  have 
ten  million  dollars  apart  from  the  Remington  es- 


258    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

tate  or  from  any  moneys  bequeathed  you  by  your 
great  uncle?" 

A  nervous  tremour  shook  John — he  suddenly 
saw  what  was  coming :  he  could  have  beaten  him- 
self for  his  folly : 

"I  should  think,  Mr.  Grimes,  it  would  be  alto- 
gether unnecessary — it  certainly  is  rather  embar- 
rassing— to  have  to  remind  you — who  have  full 
knowledge  of  my  affairs — that,  apart  from  my 
uncle's  munificent  bequest,  I  have  not  a  dollar 
in  the  world." 

"Precisely:  and  I  should  think,  Mr.  Wright, 
it  would  be  altogether  unnecessary  to  remind  you 
— because  I  infer,  from  your  general  conversa- 
tion, you  have  regard  for  righteousness  and  prob- 
ity— that,  having  availed  yourself  of  the  gift,  you 
are  in  honesty  bound  by  the  conditions  upon  which 
you  accepted  that  gift,  until  you  can  restore  the 
gift  to  the  alternative  legatee  exactly  as  you  re- 
ceived it." 

John  was  staggered.  Two  things  struck  him  and 
they  struck  him  hard — a  sense  of  hopeless  de- 
spair, and  a  sense  of  mortification — he  became 
exceedingly  uncomfortable  and  very  much  em- 
barrassed. 

"Oh,  of  course — "  he  said  hoarsely, — "but  I 
thought — I  thought — that — perhaps — with  your 
ability  you  could  find  some  way  by  which  we 
might  go  directly  to  the  desired  result." 

"Doubtless  there  are  many  sharp  lawyers  who 
might  favour  you  by  endeavouring  to  find  such  a 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    259 

way,  but  I  must  beg  that  you  will  excuse  me  from 
so  doing." 

Mr.  Grimes  had  the  air  of  considering  the  in- 
terview at  an  end. 

"I  can  sell  my  art  treasures" — gasped  John, 
"and  I  can — I  can — save  the  rest  from  my  in- 
come. ' ' 

"Undoubtedly;"  Mr.  Grimes*  voice  was  colour- 
less and  cold,  "but  until  you  have  so  done,  I  can- 
not consider  you — nor  myself — freed  from  the  ob- 
ligations covering  the  premises." 

"When  I  do— then " 

Mr.  Grimes  bowed  slightly: 

"Then,  sir,  it  will  be  time  to  discuss  the 
matter." 


CHAPTER  XXI 

JOHN  hurried  home,  locked  himself  in  his  room 
and  gave  way  to  gusts  of  hopeless  despair:  he 
felt  like  a  trapped  thing  as  he  sat  with  clinched 
hands  in  his  sumptuous  den.  He  remembered  a 
morning  many  years  ago  in  the  Elmcroft  woods 
when  he  had  set  a  trap  for  a  rabbit  and,  boylike, 
had  hidden  behind  a  tree  to  see  the  woodland 
tragedy  enacted  to  the  finish.  The  rabbit  had 
come  scampering  through  the  woods,  had  smelt 
the  dainty  bit  in  the  trap  and  had  made  for  it 
without  consideration — snap  had  clicked  the  tiny 
door,  the  rabbit  was  caught  behind  inexorable  bars 
and  all  the  wide  free  beautiful  world  was  out- 
side. 

John  remembered  as  though  it  had  been  yester- 
day the  sense  of  shame  and  cruelty  that  had 
rushed  over  him,  the  lump  that  had  risen  in  his 
throat,  the  spots  that  had  burned  upon  his  cheeks 
as  he  ran  out  of  his  hiding  place,  broke  open  the 
trap  door  and  let  the  wild  thing  free  to  scamper 
through  the  green  woods. 

He  remembered  still  the  breath  of  relief  he  had 
drawn  as  the  wild  little  animal  ran  gaily  over 
the  fallen  leaves :  he  remembered,  also,  the  sense 
of  dread  with  which  he  had  confessed  to  Eben 

260 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET   261 

what  lie  had  done,  and  waited  for  Eben's  gruff 
reproof.  Eben  had  a  scorn  of  anything  that 
savoured  of  the  unmanly  or  the  sissylike  and 
John  had  trembled  in  his  young  mortification  at 
his  failure  to  be  manlike  and  unflinching  as  Eben 
always  exacted  of  him :  and  he  remembered  the  in- 
tense relief  that  had  come  to  his  childish  heart 
when  Eben  had  smiled  and  said  gruffly:  "Wai, 
Boy,  you  did  just  right.  I  got  you  that  trap  'cause 
you  wanted  to  catch  the  critter.  We  will  throw  it 
away — that's  all  traps  are  fit  for;  I  never  could 
abide  trapped  things  meself ;  critters  was  all  made 
to  be  free."  Now,  he — John — of  all  creatures 
made  to  be  free — was  trapped — TRAPPED. 

Thank  God,  he  would  get  out,  but  he  must  stay 
in  the  trap  for  years  and  years.  He  was  not  even 
free  to  press  his  purpose  to  swift  conclusions. 
He  must  still  keep  up  the  state  of  the  old  house, 
so  long  as  he  was  under  the  conditions  of  the  will, 
and  he  could  not,  so  long  as  he  must  keep  up  the 
house  in  traditional  state,  save  quickly  from  his 
income  to  enable  him  to  escape  the  conditions  of 
the  will. 

He  could  not  cut  off  the  enormous  expenses  at- 
tending his  position  so  long  as  he  remained  lega- 
tee— and  he  could  not  sharply  and  stringently  cut 
down  his  expenditure  so  long  as  he  had  to  make 
the  extravagant  outlay  incumbent  upon  his  posi- 
tion. It  was  a  tragic  tangle — an  intricate  prob- 
lem which  would  take  some  time  to  unravel  and 
disentangle. 


262    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

He  must  study  it  carefully,  think  it  all  out,  and 
meanwhile  his  heart  ached  with  a  passionate  pain : 
the  gates  of  morning  were  closed  against  him  and 
he  stood  before  the  portal  of  a  dark  night  with- 
out stars. 

For  five  hours  he  sat  face  to  ,f ace  with  the  situa- 
tion: his  native  quickness  came  to  his  aid:  many 
schemes,  many  possible  plans  flashed  to  his  mind 
— only  to  meet  difficulties,  as  he  considered  them. 
He  was  hampered  on  every  side.  Whatever  he  did 
it  would  be,  at  the  very  least,  years  before  he 
could  be  free :  for  years  he  would  have  to  stay  in 
the  trap  and  live  a  life  that  contradicted  life. 

He  had  a  mad  desire  to  sit  and  work  out  his 
problem,  to  ponder  possibilities — but  he  must  go ! 
He  must  go  to  a  dinner !  If  he  could  go  forth  to 
a  battle — to  some  great  adventure — !  but  to  a  silly 
dinner ! — it  was  unendurable ! ! 

"I  should  rather  shovel  snow  or  handle  pig- 
iron  than  go  to  a  dinner  to-night,"  he  said,  as  he 
made  his  immaculate  toilette  with  scrupulous  care. 
It  struck  his  sense  of  humour  as  an  utterly  absurd 
thing  that  when  every  nerve  was  aching  in  his 
body,  every  fibre  quivering  in  his  soul,  and  when 
his  brain  was  awhirl  in  the  vortex  of  the  readjust- 
ment of  ideas,  of  life  itself — he  had  to  dress  and 
go  to  a  dinner !  He  would  not  confer  any  benefit, 
he  would  not  accomplish  anything  by  going,  but 
he  was  held  tight  in  the  vice  of  his  acquired  stand- 
ards of  the  conventional  social  code:  he  had  ac- 
cepted the  invitation  three  weeks  before — it  had 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    263 

become  an  obligation:  of  course  he  could  have 
said  he  was  ill,  one  could  always  say  that,  but  then 
he  would  have  had  to  be  ill  for  months  to  escape ; 
every  night  was  pledged  for  two  months  ahead. 
Ah !  he  would  gladly  give  anything  for  the  solace 
and  comfort  of  freedom  for  a  week,  to  cast  up  ac- 
counts with  his  own  soul,  to  face  the  future,  to 
contemplate  his  overwhelming  love,  to  commune 
with  his  own  heart,  and  to  decide  how  best  to 
meet  his  doom:  but  freedom  "was  the  one  thing 
his  money  could  not  buy:  moreover  he  was  in 
bondage  to  the  false  standards  under  which  he 
was  enrolled. 

It  was  a  sufficient  strain  to  him  to  go  out  to 
dinner,  but  the  strain  had  a  capping  climax  when 
he  read  on  the  card  which  the  servant  handed  to 
him  the  name  of  the  woman  whom  he  was  to 
take  in  to  dinner — Mrs.  Winthrop ! 

For  a  moment  the  brilliant  hall  where  he  stood 
seemed  to  swing  like  a  globe  on  a  pendulum. 
Mrs.  Winthrop!  It  was  the  obvious  thing,  from 
the  standpoint  of  the  hostess  the  gracious  thing: 
but  Mrs.  Winthrop 's  very  existence  had  been  ban- 
ished from  his  mind!  A  hectic  thought  of  her 
rushed  swiftly  back  bringing  a  sense  of  strange 
confusion,  a  shadow  of  shame  to  his  soul.  He 
well  knew  that  Mrs.  Winthrop  would  be,  of  alii 
women,  a  daw  to  peck  at  his  heart  if  he  wore  it 
anywhere  near  his  sleeve :  therefore,  he  drew  hi$ 
cloak  of  reticence  and  reserve  about  him  with 


264    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

fine  courtesy.   Mrs.  Winthrop  confessed  to  herself 
that  he  had  never  been  more  charming. 

"Your  American  Beauties  gave  me  your  mes- 
sage, Mr.  Wright,"  she  said,  at  last,  under  cover 
of  the  rising  table-talk. 

"I  was  very  sorry  to  have  to  disappoint  myself 
and  break  my  engagement  with  you,  Madame," 
John  said.  What  else  could  he  say? 

"Did  you  have  a  pleasant  time?"  she  asked. 

"I  should  scarcely  call  it  amusing,"  he  an- 
swered quietly:  his  eyes  were  like  flinty  steel: 
there  was  something  ominous  in  his  tone:  Mrs. 
Winthrop  drew  a  breath  of  relief. 

' '  Ah !  now  I  know  you  were  bored ! ' ' 

"I  do  not  think  'bored'  is  the  precise  word." 

"What  is  the  word,  then?"  Mrs.  Winthrop 
spoke  gaily,  more  sure  of  her  ground. 

"I  will  ask  you  for  the  word,  Mrs.  Winthrop: 
if  you  had  known  a  man  for  years,  liked  him  im- 
mensely, thought  him  on  the  whole  a  good  fellow 
and  suddenly  realised  that  he  was  very  different 
from  your  thought  of  him,  would  it  bore  you 
or " 

"How  tragic,"  Mrs.  Winthrop  interrupted 
lightly ;  * '  did  you  know  him  well  ? ' ' 

"I  thought  that  I  knew  him  better  than  any 
other  man — he  was  my  closest  friend — but  I  find 
I  never  knew  him  in  the  least  until  yesterday." 
J  "How  exciting!    And  he  has  turned  out  to  be  a 


John  considered  ja.  moment 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    265 

"No;  I  think  I  may  say  he  is  not  a  fraud — that 
is,  if  he  is  a  fraud,  he  is  self -deceived ;  but  he  is 
everything  else  short  of  a  fraud :  he  is  a  brute,  he 
is  a  base  ingrate,  he  is  an  egotist,  he  is  lacking 
in  all  chivalry  and " 

"Mon  Dieu!"  Mrs.  Winthrop  put  up  a  protest- 
ing hand,  "you  take  away  my  appetite." 

"I  am  sorry,  my  dear  Lady,"  John  said  in  his 
most  courtly  tones,  "but  there  are  such  men  in 
the  world,  and  the  truth  must  be  faced." 

"Eln  bien!  I  will  face  it,  then;  go  on,  tell  me 
some  more  about  your  friend." 

"He  is  no  longer  my  friend;  he  is  my  most 
dangerous  enemy. ' ' 

' '  Then  it  was  a  quarrel  ? ' '  Mrs.  Winthrop  felt 
strangely  uncomfortable,  she  knew  not  why. 

"It  was  not  a  quarrel — it  was  a  revelation." 

"How  formidable:  that  sounds  like  the  New 
Testament. ' ' 

He  looked  at  her  with  a  look  that  frightened  and 
fascinated  her. 

"Does  if?"  was  all  that  he  said. 

"I  shan't  talk  to  you  any  more,  Mr.  Wright, 
you  are  impossible  to-night, ' '  and  Mrs.  Winthrop 
turned  to  the  man  at  her  other  side. 

John  lazily  permitted  himself  to  be  drawn 
into  a  tiresome  conversation  with  a  long-winded 
dowager  on  his  left,  whereupon  he  was  so  bored 
that,  in  spite  of  the  bitter  ache  in  his  heart,  he 
was  intellectually  relieved  when  the  clever  lady 
on  his  right  turned  again  and  drew  him  into  the 


266    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

circle  of  her  brilliancy.  Books,  music,  gossip,  chit- 
chat were  touched  upon  with  charm :  talk  always 
moved  lightly  with  her — that  was  the  advantage 
of  these  modern  women  of  the  world,  John  ad- 
mitted to  himself :  when  they  had  on  their  armour 
one  could  spar  and  fence  with  visor  down  and  all 
the  while  the  inner  man  could  hold  himself  aloof 
and  go  on  thinking. 

Once,  in  the  course  of  the  dinner,  a  voice  rose 
above  the  ebb  and  flow  of  conversation  like  a  sil- 
very bell;  he  heard  this  sentence:  "Any  girl  who 
amounts  to  a  row  of  pins  would  rather  starve  with 
the  man  she  loves  than  live  in  lavish  luxury  with  a 
man  she  doesn't  love."  He  raised  his  eyes  and, 
across  the  formal  orchids  and  the  gorgeous  silver, 
he  met  the  laughing  eyes  of  Sally.  Ah !  then,  even 
here  it  is  the  same !  The  standard  is,  after  all,  an 
inward  standard  of  choice  and  not  an  outward 
standard  of  circumstance.  He  strained  his  ears 
to  catch  Sally's  next  remark,  but  her  voice  had 
fallen,  the  table-talk  had  risen  and  the  louder  buzz 
drowned  her  words  as  she  continued  her  animated 
discussion  with  Captain  McDougal — a  well-pre- 
served and  dapper  old  beau — with  whom  Sally 
was  a  great  favourite. 

When  the  dinner  was  ended  and  the  men  had 
left  the  women  in  the  drawing-room,  Mrs.  Win- 
throp  drew  Sally  to  a  seat  beside  her  and  chatted 
charmingly  for  a  while  on  points  of  passing  in- 
terest; suddenly  she  opened  her  blue-green  eyes 
and  fixed  them  on  the  girl. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    267 

"  Sally  dear,  I  am  a  married  woman,  you  are 
only  a  girl  and  my  interest  in  you  bids  me  ven- 
ture to  give  you  some  advice.  You  must  curb 
your  ardour,  you  should  acquire  poise:  the  din- 
ner-table is  not  the  place  for  the  interchange  of 
confidence. '  ' 

Sally  shrugged  her  slim  shoulders  nonchalantly. 

"If  you  had  sat  next  to  Captain  McDougal — 
who  prides  himself  on  his  social  code — you  would 
be  sure  that  it  was." 

Sally  was  the  one  person  who  could  ruffle  Mrs. 
Winthrop. 

"Captain  McDougal  is  in  his  dotage  and  is  no 
criterion.  My  dear,  you  really  must  learn  more 
self-control,  you  are  very  young." 

"Am  I?  You  told  me  the  other  day  that  I 
was  'getting  on.'  : 

The  honeyed  tones  of  Mrs.  Winthrop  were  ca- 
ressing : 

"That  was  when  I  realised  that  you  had  been 
out  three  years  and  were  not  yet  settled. ' ' 

"Settled?"  Sally  wrinkled  her  pretty  nose. 
"How  unpleasant!  It  sounds  as  if  I  had  dregs." 

"It  sounds  as  if  I  loved  you,  sweet  child,  and 
wanted  you  happily  married. ' ' 

1  *  I  thought  marriage  was  a  bore. ' ' 

"A  bore?  What  put  that  absurd  idea  into  your 
head?" 

"You  all  said  so  the  other  night  when  we  were 
talking  about  Mrs.  Strong." 


268    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"I  could  not  have  said  so — for  I  am  married 
to  Horace.*' 

"How  very  fortunate  for  Mr.  Winthrop!" 
Sally  looked  at  her  with  a  touch  of  audacity  and 
again  Mrs.  Winthrop  felt  the  discomfiture  which 
Sally,  and  Sally  alone,  could  give  her:  she  re- 
garded Sally  sharply  for  a  moment,  then  said: 

*  *  Speaking  of  marriage,  did  you  know  that  Pel- 
ham  Vinton  is  engaged  at  last?" 

"Is  he?"  said  Sally  indifferently;  "to  whom?" 

1 '  To  that  charming  Miss  Vivien.  No  one  knows 
it  as  yet — it  is  a  profound  secret,  but  I  heard  it 
from  the  best  authority. ' ' 

"How  nice!  I  am  very  glad — Pelham  Vinton 
is  an  awfully  nice  chap. ' ' 

"Yes,  and  he  is  so  fabulously  rich." 

"Is  he?"  said  Sally. 

Mrs.  Winthrop  looked  at  her  critically: 

"Don't  you  know?  He  has  inherited  two  for- 
tunes." 

"Has  he?  "said  Sally. 

"Yes.  He  is  rich,  handsome,  clever,  fascinat- 
ing— altogether  the  most  charming,  the  most  de- 
sirable man  in  New  York.  Don't  you  think  so, 
dear?" 

The  beryl  eyes  searched  the  girl. 

"Do  you  think  he  is  more  desirable  than  Mr. 
Wright,  Mrs.  Winthrop?" 

Sally's  tone  was  noncommittal.  Mrs.  Win- 
throp's  eyes  still  were  on  the  girl,  a  hostile  look 
came  into  them  as  she  said : 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    269 

"Perhaps  they  are  somewhat  alike — but,  unfor- 
tunately, Mr.  Wright  cannot  marry.  Sally,  dear," 
she  added  after  a  significant  pause,  "do  you  know 
I  always  thought  that  you  rather  fancied  Pel- 
ham." 

' '  Really  ? '  '  Sally  answered  coolly.  ' '  Is  that  the 
reason  you  hastened  to  tell  me  of  his  engage- 
ment?" 

"I  told  you  because  you  are  good  friends  and 
I  thought  you  would  be  glad  to  hear  of  his  happi- 
ness. ' ' 

"I  am,  thanks  awfully." 

"Of  course,  you  understand  what  I  have  said 
is  entirely  entre  nous?" 

"Certainly.  How  delightfully  exciting,  Mrs. 
Winthrop,  to  share  a  secret  with  you!" 

Ameda  Winthrop  could  not  be  quite  sure  if  this 
were  flattery  or  sarcasm. 

"Tell  me,  sweet  child,  was  I  wrong — did  you 
not  at  one  time  have  a  slight  enthusiasm  in  your 
girlish  heart  for  the  fascinating  Pelham  Vinton?" 

Sally's  gay  smile  flashed  from  eyes  and  lips — 
and  in  her  sweetest,  most  gracious  but  most  baf- 
fling tone  she  answered : 

"Is  the  wise,  clever,  all-knowing  Mrs.  Winthrop 
ever  wrong?" 

"Sally!"  called  her  hostess  from  across  the 
room, '  *  there  are  some  new  photographs  of  Milli- 
cent  and  her  boys,  just  come  from  Rome." 

Sally  walked  over  to  the  table  to  which  her  host- 
ess pointed  and  took  up  the  photographs. 


270    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

''How  lovely!"  she  said;  ''the  children — what 
perfect  darlings!  Think  of  Millicent  being  the 
mother  of  those  big  boys ! ' ' 

Sally  was  studying  the  photographs  when  the 
men  entered  the  drawing-room.  Mrs.  Winthrop, 
watching,  saw — to  her  chagrin — John  walk  over 
to  Sally  with  eagerness:  she  saw  them  sit  to- 
gether on  a  low  window-seat,  apart  from  the 
others. 

' '  Pardon  me,  Miss  Sally, ' '  John  began, ' '  I  heard 
you  at  dinner.  I  strained  my  ears,  but  I  heard 
only  that  one  declaration — the  rest  was  lost  in 
the  hubbub  to  my  great  regret :  but  I  liked  what 
I  heard — it  is  my  own  creed — for  men  as  well  as 
for  girls.  ' ' 

Sally  looked  him  straight  in  the  eyes,  fresh, 
frank  and  charming: 

''Whereupon  you  know  all;  you  have  divined 
that  I  am  in  love, ' '  she  paused  a  moment  and  then 
continued,  "in  love  with  a  penniless  beggar  and 
intend  to  marry  him,  in  spite- of  family  howls." 

' '  On  the  contrary,  I  am  quite  sure  that  if  you 
were,  you  would  not  have  said  what  you  did." 

' '  How  clever  of  you,  Mr.  Wright. ' ' 

' '  My  cleverness  consists  in  knowing  how  clever 
you  are." 

Sally  looked  at  him  with  merry  eyes. 

"If  I  were  very,  very,  exceedingly  clever,  I 
should  do  just  that,  because  I  should  know  that 
clever  persons  would  think  that  I  was  too  clever 
to  do  it." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    271 

' '  One  must  be  wide  awake  to  keep  up  with  you, 
Miss  Sally.  That  young  man,  whomever  he  may 
be,  is  most  fortunate. ' ' 

Sally  looked  at  John  and  saw  the  hidden  pain 
which  others  had  not  seen  beneath  his  armour. 
Moved  by  a  sudden  impulse,  she  spoke:  "Mr. 
Wright,  should  you  like  to  be  a  father-confessor  ? ' ' 

"As  a  matter  of  fact,  that  was  my  vocation:  I 
ran  away  from  my  destiny  when  I  did  not  become 
a  priest. ' ' 

"Then  I  think  I  will  tell  you  a  story:"  she 
paused  a  moment  as  though  embarrassed  and 
then  began  with  a  pretty  air  of  hesitation : 

"When  I  was  in  the  woods  last  season,  I  went 
out  fishing  one  day :  I  went  alone  without  a  guide, 
for  I  know  the  woods  as  I  know  this  drawing-room. 
When  I  came  to  my  favourite  place  I  found  a  book 
lying  on  the  rock — on  my  own  special  rock.  Pan- 
dora isn't  in  it  with  me  for  curiosity,  so  I  opened 
the  book  and  saw  the  name  on  the  fly-leaf — the 
book  was  marked  and  annotated :  of  course  I  read 
it:  every  sentence  that  was  marked  fitted  itself 
to  some  thought  of  mine  like  music  to  words. 
When  I  met  him — the  man — our  souls  flew  to- 
gether. Before  the  summer  was  over  we  were 
over — that  is,  it  was  all  over  with  us!  He  is  a 
minister  and  a  minister's  son — as  poor  as  pov- 
erty; he  has  nothing  but  his  salary,  six  hundred 
dollars  a  year :  he  has  taken  a  little  parish  in  the 
northern  part  of  Vermont.  Think  of  it ! — six  hun- 
dred a  year — fifty  dollars  a  month  for  two  per- 


272    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

sons!  I  have  decided  to  do  the  daring  splendid 
thing — to  share  his  fate." 

"Happy  man!"  said  John. 

"O  Mr.  Wright,  you  are  so  sympathetic  and 
comprehending.  Yes,  I  have  decided  to  go  to  him 
and  live  on  a  crust " 

"What  a  romance!  I  always  knew  you  were 
especially  made  to  be  a  minister's  wife." 

' '  How  discerning  of  you !  I  am ;  I  expect  to  do 
fine  work  in  the  parish ;  for  one  thing  I  will  have 
the  old  ladies  to  supper  on  sewing-circle  nights, 
but  'though  on  pleasure  bent  I  have  a  frugal 
mind';  therefore,  I  mustn't  spend  money  on 
clothes,  must  I?  So  it  will  be  economy — in  fact,  it 
will  be  a  necessity — to  wear  my  old  gowns,  won't 
it?  What  do  you  think  the  old  ladies  will  say  to 
this  one?" 

John  considered  the  delicate  gown  with  straps 
of  pearls  on  the  shoulders  and  with  a  slight  pre- 
tence of  chiffon  for  sleeves,  the  slit  skirt  showing 
fascinating  slippers  with  extreme  high  heels  and 
the  diaphanous  stockings  that  matched  her  gown, 

"They  will  be  mad  with  delight,"  he  said  with 
enthusiasm :  ' '  they  will  all  beg  for  the  model,  and 
at  the  next  sewing-circle  you  will  find  all  the  old 
ladies  dressed  in  gowns  exactly  like  it. ' ' 

"How  lovely,  Mr.  Wright!  How  you  do  under- 
stand things!  What  joy  to  set  the  fashion  for 
the  dear  old  Christians !  Imagine  forty — Jim  says 
there  are  forty — nice  old  country  women  all 
dressed  just  like  this!"  She  made  a  dainty  little 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    273 

movement  of  her  slippered  foot  at  the  opening  of 
her  skirt.  John  laughed:  a  merry  twinkle  came 
into  his  eyes  in  spite  of  his  pain. 

Sally  looked  up  at  him  demurely : 

''Don't  you  think  that  it  is  a  beautiful  ro- 
mance ? ' ' 

"I  find  it  very  amusing." 

"Amusing? — amusing?  Is  that  the  way  you 
regard  the  great  drama  of  two  loving  hearts?" 

'  *  That  is  the  way  I  regard  your  creative  genius, 
Miss  Sally." 

' '  Creative  genius  ?  Upon  my  word !  Then  you 
don't  believe  it?" 

"Do  you?"  said  John. 

Sally  laughed.  All  at  once  a  sweet  seriousness 
—a  lovely  earnestness  fell  upon  her:  she  looked 
at  John  with  a  new  expression  that  stirred  his 
aching  heart. 

"Mr.  Wright,  please  forgive  my  nonsense !  You 
are  awfully  good  sport !  You  are  such  good  sport 
that  I  must  really  and  truly  confide  in  you!  It 
is  a  profound  secret.  We  are  doing  everything 
we  can  to  keep  it  secret.  We  don't  intend  to  tell 
it  until  May — and  then  we  intend  to  announce  it 
with  a  flare  of  trumpets ! — but  I  want  you  to  know, 
now — this  very  moment !  I  am  engaged : — but  it  is 
to  Pelham  Vinton!" 

To  John's  face  came  a  generous  glow  of 
pleasure. 

"Miss  Sally!    I  am  so  glad  for  him! — and  I 


274    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

am  glad  for  you,  also, — Pelham  Vinton  is  a  fine 
fellow — a  very  fine  fellow!" 

"I  have  wanted  dreadfully  to  tell  you,  Mr. 
Wright,  because  it  began  one  night  at  your  house 
— I  have  known  him  always,  of  course,  but  it 
began  that  night.  I  think  you  have  an  uncanny 
sense  of  things,  and  you  sensed  that  we  belonged 
to  each  other — and  we  do — Oh,  we  do ! "  A  deeper 
note  had  come  into  Sally's  merry  voice  and  John, 
looking  at  her,  thought  he  had  never  realised  be- 
fore how  very  pretty  she  was. 

"Pelham  happens  to  be  rich — absurdly,  abom- 
inably rich — but,  Mr.  Wright,  what  I  said  at  din- 
ner is  true,  absolutely  true." 

"I  am  sure  of  it,  Miss  Sally." 

"If  Pelham  lost  everything  he  had  in  the  world, 
to-morrow — I  shouldn't  care  one  snap — Oh,  yes, 
I'd  be  sorry — but  I  mean — I'd "  she  hesi- 
tated. 

John  finished  the  sentence  for  her:  "You 
'would  rather  live  on  a  crust  with  the  man  you 
love  than  live  in  lavish  luxury  with  a  man  you 
don't  love.'  " 

The  colour  rushed  to  Sally's  cheeks: 

"You  really  did  hear  what  I  said  at  dinner, 
didn't  you?" 

"Yes,"  John  answered  seriously,  "I  heard  it 
and  I  believe  it — And  oh !  I  wish  you  joy ! " 

Young  Merrill  came  up  to  speak  to  Sally  and 
John  left  them. 

"Poor   dear!"    Sally   thought,   looking   after 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    275 

John :  ' '  He 's  fearfully  worried  about  something. 
I  don't  like  the  look  in  his  eyes  at  all,  at  all;  I  have 
never  seen  him  look  so  before : — it  is  tragic ;  but, 
anyway,  I  made  him  smile — a  minister's  wife!  A 
minister's  wife!  Imagine  me  a  minister's  wife!" 

' '  What  are  you  smiling  at  so  mysteriously,  Miss 
Sally?"  said  young  Merrill,  watching  her  ad- 
miringly. 

' '  I  was  thinking  how  amusing  it  would  be  if  we 
could  dance :  let  us  ask  Mrs.  Barton  if  we  may  ? ' ' 

"But,  Miss  Sally,  how  are  we  to 

"Now  don't  begin  to  find  obstacles,  Clarence: 
every  man  should  learn  to  'carry  the  message  to 
Garcia':  there  is  always  a  way  to  do  everything 
that  one  really  desires  to  do:  you  and  I  can  go 
into  the  ball-room — and  if  there  is  no  one  to  play, 
you  can  whistle — and  if  you  can't,  7  can." 


CHAPTER   XXH 

PAIN  was  new  to  John:  in  all  his  life  he  had 
never  known  pain,  with  the  exception  of  his  child- 
ish grief  when  his  mother  died:  restlessness,  im- 
patience, disappointment,  rebellion, — these  he  had 
called  pain,  but  the  daily  gnawing  ache  of  the 
heart,  the  hunger  and  thirst  of  the  spirit,  he  had 
never  known  before:  he  found  it  difficult  to  ad- 
just himself  to  the  torture. 

Mighty  forces  battled  within  him:  all  external 
things  lost  their  flavour.  John's  very  quality  in- 
creased his  capacity  for  suffering:  the  tempestu- 
ous impetuousness  of  his  temperament  made  his 
suffering — when  it  came  to  him — a  veritable 
tragedy.  The  very  power  which  made  his  charm 
worked  against  him  in  his  anguish.  The  more  he 
kicked  against  the  pricks  the  more  inevitable  they 
were;  the  more  he  felt  the  iron  of  bondage  enter 
his  soul,  and  the  more  conscious  he  was  of  his 
bondage,  the  more  desperate  he  became. 

His  love  for  Marion  had  been  cumulative  in  its 
gathering  force.  He  knows  now  that  it  had  al- 
ways been  a  part  of  his  very  being:  but  it  had 
been  hidden  by  earth-clouds  as  the  mountain 
heights  are  hidden  by  the  dull  mists  that  rise 
from  the  valley. 

276 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    277 

It  had  been  gaining  momentum  in  the  silence : 
and  at  last,  like  the  avalanche  from  the  Alpine 
height,  it  had  come — a  mighty  torrent,  unresist- 
ible,  unconquerable — inundating  all  the  dry  and 
waste  places  of  his  soul. 

In  his  desperation  he  tried  to  build  up  barriers 
against  it,  but  they  could  no  more  stand  against 
the  torrent  than  sticks  of  straw  could  stand 
against  the  rushing  avalanche  which  tears  down 
the  mountainside  when  the  ice  is  broken. 

John  was  powerless  and,  worst  of  all,  he  had 
only  himself  to  blame:  he,  a  sane  man,  had  con- 
nived at  his  own  destruction:  he,  a  rational  hu- 
man being,  had  yielded  to  the  temptation  of  ma- 
terial desire :  he,  a  philosopher, — he  grinned  sar- 
donically as  he  remembered  that  he  used  to  fancy 
himself  a  philosopher ! — had  been  the  merest  pup- 
pet of  the  grossest  of  all  temptations — the  greed 
for  gold! 

Sometimes  he  had  a  boyish  impulse  to  flay  him- 
self, to  kick  himself :  sometimes  a  sullen  heart-sick 
dulness  depressed  him:  sometimes  a  passionate 
self -hatred  would  oversweep  him  because  he  had 
fallen  so  far  from  his  dream  of  life — and  had  sold 
his  birthright  for  a  mess  of  pottage ! 

He  had  not  realised  that  birthright,  and  he  had 
not  known  what  he  was  doing  at  the  time,  but  he 
had  sold  his  future,  he  had  cut  himself  off  from 
what  might  come,  from  life's  possibilities,  and 
he  had  done  it  for  gold!  There  was  that  in  John 
which  made  the  enormity  of  the  transaction 


278    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

greater  in  his  case,  because  he  had,  at  heart,  lofty 
standards  of  measurement :  he  had  gone  with  the 
world  and  had  accepted  the  world 's  standards,  but 
he  recognised  others,  and  in  his  poignant  moments 
of  reality  those  other  standards  asserted  them- 
selves: his  suffering  was  greater  than  any  one 
could  understand  because  there  was  in  it  the  worst 
of  all  evils — the  sting  of  self-reproach.  Few  men 
could  have  understood  what  he  was  suffering, 
even  had  they  known  the  facts. 

"Poor  devil!"  he  heard  a  man  say  one  day 
about  a  broker  who  had  killed  himself.  "One 
can 't  blame  him :  he  was  cleaned  out — he  had  lost 
every  penny  of  his  fortune:  what's  a  fellow  to 
do?" 

Men  understood  the  desperation  of  a  man  suf- 
fering from  material  loss,  but  John's  desperation 
would  have  been  less  comprehensible:  and  yet  he 
had  lost  the  essence  of  all  things — the  breath  of 
life  itself. 

John  was  born  to  be  a  mighty  lover — this  he 
had  always  known:  from  his  earliest  boyhood  he 
had  felt  the  power  within  himself :  the  answering 
response  iiyhis  heart  to  the  poet's  song,  the  con- 
scious glow  within  himself,  responding  to  the 
poet's  words  of  love,  had  always  made  him  trem- 
ble for  the  day  when  it  should  come  to  him. 

Passion  had  often  swayed  him,  but  always  in 
the  moments  of  sensuous  delight  he  had  known 
that  he  was  capable  of  something  far  beyond  it — 
a  great  love  of  which  passion  would  be  but  the 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    279 

handmaiden:  a  sharp  recoil  had  come  to  him  at 
moments  even  in  his  affair  with  Mrs.  Winthrop, 
because  he  missed  the  mighty  reality:  he  was  al- 
ways saying  to  himself,  "What  will  LOVE  be  when 
it  comes  ? ' ' 

And  Love  had  come! 

Day  after  day  he  fought  his  battle  for  self- 
control  against  the  inroads  of  his  misery,  he  got 
himself  in  hand,  of  course,  and  gained  an  outward 
poise — for  he  was  in  all  things  manly — but  he 
could  not  as  yet  find  the  inward  poise  against  his 
pain  that  gained  in  magnitude  as  time  went  on: 
he  knew  that  Marion  would  write  no  word  in  an- 
swer to  his  cry :  he  understood  her  pride,  and  his 
pride  in  her  was  proud  of  that  pride :  but  yet  he 
held  with  nervous  tension  to  the  hope  that  the 
unexpected  would  happen — that  a  letter  would 
arrive:  he  went  to  sleep  thinking  it  might  come 
on  the  morrow:  and  he  awoke  to  watch  for  the 
postman,  wondering  if  it  would  be  there  in  the 
morning.  He  knew  that  Marion  had  received  his 
letter — for  Eben  had  written  to  him  that  he  had 
placed  it  in  her  hand:  day  after  day  he  waited, 
and  no  letter  came :  night  after  night  he  watched, 
and  no  letter  came.  He  told  himself  that  it  was 
natural  she  should  not  speak,  natural  she  should 
draw  her  skirts  away  from  the  approach  of  such 
a  one  as  he — but  love  is  tenacious  and  he  hoped 
against  hope.  The  weeks  went  on  and  at  last  he 
was  obliged  to  accept  the  inevitable,  and  to  forgo 
his  treasured  hope. 


280    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

He,  who  had  been  so  eager,  so  keen,  so  full  of 
buoyant  zest  for  life  and  for  delight,  knew,  at 
last,  that  bitterness  was  his  portion:  and  that 
henceforth  he  must  circle  his  heart  and  his  life 
with  silence. 

In  the  midst  of  his  suffering  a  new  and  hamper- 
ing trial  overtook  him,  his  magnificent  physical 
strength  failed  him:  he,  who  had  been  the  envy 
of  all  his  friends  because  of  his  superb  vigour  and 
vitality,  became  one  of  the  host  of  men  whom  he 
had  despised:  he  had  always  had  an  impatient 
intolerance  for  those  men  who  complained  that 
they  felt  "seedy,"  " rocky,"  "measly,"  "off 
their  feed":  these  unpleasant  expressions  had 
grated  against  his  fastidious  taste:  and  now  he 
found  himself  using  them  of  himself. 

His  habitual  healthy,  restful  sleep  of  forgetful- 
ness  played  truant :  he  tossed  through  long  hours, 
night  after  night:  his  appetite  failed:  and  one 
day  to  his  surprise  he  found  himself  with  sharp 
physical  pain,  which  was  as  new  to  him  as  mental 
pain:  after  that,  severe  headaches  came  to  be 
trying  and  familiar  things:  he  had  never  known 
a  headache  in  his  life,  and  he  suffered  severely: 
John  was  well  co-ordinated;  therefore,  mental 
pain  must  inevitably  affect  his  physique,  thereby 
increasing  the  mental  pain  by  reflex  action :  at  the 
same  time  the  physical  upset  became  more  un- 
bearable because  of  the  continuing  mental  strain. 

1 '  I  am  getting  to  be  like  all  the  other  seedy  old 
duffers,"  he  said  to  himself  in  disgust. 


He  tried  taking  whiskey,  but  as  it  made  his 
headaches  worse,  he  stopped:  he  tried  going  into 
the  country :  that  helped  him,  but  just  as  he  began 
to  feel  better  he  had  to  come  back  to  fulfil  his  ob- 
ligations according  to  the  terms  of  the  will:  he 
decided  in  disgust  that  it  did  not  pay  to  go. 

"I  am  more  bound  than  a  clerk  in  a  country 
store,"  he  said  to  himself  bitterly:  "because  he 
can  be  late  if  he  wants  to,  and  lose  his  job:  I 
can't  lose  my  job!  I  am  bound  to  it  hand  and 
foot!" 

And  so  the  days  dragged  themselves  on  to  May. 
One  bright  day  he  went  to  a  florist's  to  order  flow- 
ers for  the  various  hostesses  to  whom  he  was  in- 
debted: there  he  was  confronted  with  an  invoice 
of  blossoms,  just  brought  from  the  country :  great 
boughs  of  fresh  apple  blossoms  lay  upon  the  dark 
counter — the  breath  of  the  Spring  was  wafted 
from  their  pink  and  white  petals. 

He  groaned  in  spirit,  abruptly  left  the  place  and 
hastened  to  unfamiliar  city  streets  and  there 
walked  and  walked:  when  next  he  looked  at  his 
watch,  he  found  that  he  had  been  walking  the 
streets  for  four  hours.  That  night  the  pain  in  his 
head  was  intolerable. 


CHAPTER   XXIII 

"Is  Mrs.  Barkley  at  home,  Perkins?" 

"No,  Sir.  She's  gone  out,  Sir,"  answered  the 
spruce  footman.  There  was  a  look  of  relief  on 
John's  face:  he  admired  and  liked  Mrs.  Barkley 
tremendously  and  he  was  more  at  home  with  her 
than  with  any  woman  in  New  York:  but  to-day 
he  wanted  to  get  away  from  his  familiar  world; 
his  mood  was  feverish,  almost  desperate :  his  life 
seemed  unendurable. 

A  short  talk  with  Mrs.  Barkley  had  been  the 
price  he  was  willing  to  pay  for  the  comfort  he 
sought:  now  he  could  have  that  comfort  without 
the  price. 

"I  should  like  to  see  Master  Bobbie  then,  Per- 
kins, if  he  may  come  down. ' ' 

"Yes,  Sir.  I  will  call  Master  Bobbie,  Sir. 
He'll  be  that  glad  to  see  you,  Sir.  He's  awful 
fond  of  you,  Sir. ' ' 

"Thank  you,  Perkins." 

"Every  one  can  see  it,  Sir." 

John  went  into  the  homelike  room  and  waited. 
A  new  hunger  had  come  into  his  heart — a  child- 
hunger.  A  wild  uncontrollable  desire  for  a  son 
possessed  him.  Following  his  conscious  love  for 
Marion,  this  new  pain  had  begun  to  eat  into  his 

282 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    283 

being.  He  had  been  overwhelmed  by  his  loss  of 
the  woman  he  loved:  but  now,  also,  he  had  come 
to  know  another  loss,  a  tragic  realisation  of  the 
loss  of  children  whom  he  had  forfeited. 

It  was  indicative  of  the  warmth  of  John's  na- 
ture that  he  had  an  intense  love  for  children,  and 
it  was  a  proof  of  his  crystalline  sincerity  that 
children  always  loved  and  trusted  him:  but  this 
personal  hunger  for  a  son  of  his  own  was  new 
to  him.  He  had  chosen — God  help  him! — he  had 
chosen — the  luxurious,  the  easy  way  of  life,  with- 
out thought  of  the  ultimate  future. 

He  had  become  acutely  aware  that,  even  in  its 
personal  equation,  life  is  a  far-reaching  thing — 
something  bigger  and  vaster  than  ease,  luxury, 
pleasure:  he  knew  now  that  every  real  man  de- 
sires to  pass  on  to  posterity  the  inherent  forces, 
the  inherited  life  that  is  his:  even  a  man's  name 
has  an  added  dignity,  an  added  value,  if  that  name 
may  be  passed  on:  John's  name  would  die  with 
him  and  the  place  thereof  would  know  it  no  more. 

There  was  a  swift  step  in  the  hall  and  Bobbie 
came  bounding  in.  He  was  a  slender,  straight 
little  fellow,  dressed  in  a  close-fitting  suit  of 
white;  his  nimble  feet — which  seemed  to  twinkle 
— were  in  low  patent-leather  pumps,  and  his  little 
legs  above  the  short  white  socks  were  bare:  he 
had  a  shock  of  golden  curls  and  wide  dark  eyes. 

He  threw  himself  upon  John  with  trusting 
familiarity,  and  John  felt  a  throb  of  delight:  he 


284    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

was  convinced  that  this  desperate  impulse  to  see 
Bobbie  had  been  a  wise  one. 

"How  do  you  do,  Monsieur?  Betty  is  having 
her  hair  cu'led  and  she  can't  come  down — will  you 
'cuse  her,  Monsieur?" 

"Certainly,"  said  John,  relieved  that  he  could 
have  Bobbie  all  to  himself:  "How  is  Betty, 
Bobs?" 

"Oh,  she's  all  wight,  and  so  is  Fawer,  and 
so  is  Muwer:  Muwer's  gone  to  play  on  the 
bwidge." 

The  letter  E  was  Bobbie's  verbal  stumbling- 
block. 

"To  play  on  the  bridge?" 

John  understood  but  it  amused  him  to  lead 
Bobbie  on  to  explanation. 

"Yes,  Monsieur,  Muvver  plays  on  the  bwidge 
most  evewy  day  and  she  finds  beautiful  pwizes 
on  the  bwidge.  She  almost  always,  gen'wally, 
gives  them  to  Bobbie  only  'cept  when  they  are 
silly  girl-things,  then  she  gives  them  to  Betty- 
hat  pins  and  cushions  and  things  a  man  can 't  use. ' ' 

1 '  Tell  me,  Bobs,  what  kind  of  things  can  a  man 
use?" 

"Oh,  lots  of  things — ponies  and  monkeys  and 
lots  of  things." 

John  obeyed  a  hungry  impulse. 

"Will  you  come  and  live  with  me,  Bobs?  You 
shall  have  them  all." 

"And  leave  Muwer?" 

"I  want  a  little  boy  very  much." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    285 

"Is  that  why  you've  got  such  a  sad  look  in  the 
back  of  your  eyes,  to-day?"  asked  Bohbie  sym- 
pathetically, coming  closer  to  John. 

"Have  I  a  sad  look?  Well — yes — that's  the 
reason.  If  you  will  come  home  with  me  I  will 
give  you  a  beautiful  pony — a  real  circus  pony— 
and  a  fine  funny  monkey  like  the  one  at  the  Zoo." 

Bobbie  drew  away  from  John:  his  little  figure 
straightened  proudly: 

"Monsieur,"  he  said  seriously,  "I  wouldn't 
leave  my  Muwer  for  a  thousand  million  ponies 
nor  for  evewy  monkey  in  the  Bwonks." 

"Good  for  you,  Bobs!  You  are  a  man  after 
my  own  heart.  You  are  loyal !  Do  you  know  what 
loyal  means?" 

' 1  Yes,  I  know,  Monsieur.  It 's  the  Loyal  Legion : 
Babbette's  beau  is  one." 

"To  be  loyal,  Bobs,  means  to  be  true  to  your 
friends. ' ' 

Bobbie  looked  at  John  with  earnest  eyes. 

"Nobody  is  ever  wwloyal — is  they,  Monsieur!" 

John  gave  a  start:  he  spoke  almost  without 
volition — it  seemed  to  him  as  though  a  stranger 
was  speaking  through  him. 

"What  would  you  say,  Bobs,  to  a  man  who  was 
so  unloyal  that  he  sold  his  little  boy  for  money?" 

Horror  and  dismay  came  on  the  child's  face : 

"Sold  his  little  boy  for  money?" 

"Who  was  so  unloyal,"  John  went  on,  "that  he 
ran  away  from  the  one  he  loved  best." 

"To  get  ponies  and  monkeys  and  things?" 


286    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

Here  was  a  home  thrust. 

"Yes,  Bobs,  there  are  some  boys  so  base  and 
bad  that  they  run  away  from  those  they  love 
just  to  get  ponies  and  monkeys  and  THINGS.  ' ' 

"What  howible  bad  boys — they're  most  as  bad 
as  Bluebea'd." 

John  was  anxious  to  escape  from  the  look  which 
he  had  brought  into  Bobbie 's  eyes. 

"Who  was  Bluebeard,  Bobs?" 

*  *  Why,  don 't  you  know  Bluebea  'd  1  He  had  lots 
of  wives — most  a  hundwed,  I  think — and  he  put 
them  all  in  one  woom  and  killed  them  all — evewy 
one!" 

"How  HORKIBLE!"  John's  dramatic  sympathy 
rose  to  meet  Bobbie's  artistic  demand  as  a  nar- 
rator. 

"Yes,  evewy  one — evewy  single  one!" 

After  a  pause,  which  Bobbie's  dramatic  sense 
made  sufficiently  long  to  allow  John  to  fully  feel 
the  enormity  of  Bluebeard's  crimes,  he  added: 

"When  I'm  gwowed  up  to  be  a  man  I'm  going 
to  mawy  lots  and  lots  of  girls,  too,  only  I  won't 
kill  them — I'll  keep  them  all,  evewy  one — I'll  keep 
one  in  one  woom,  anuver  in  anuver  woom  and  an- 
uver  in  anuver  woom :  then  if  one  has  a  headache 
I've  got  anuver  one — and  if  she's  gone  to  play 
on  the  bwidge,  I've  got  anuver  one; — and  if  she's 
cwoss,  I've  got  anuver  one;  and  she  might  be  nice 
and  cuddly — mightn't  she,  Monsieur?" 

"Young  man,"  said  John,  "you  are  a  Solon  and 
a  Solomon:  you  make  of  polygamy  a  fine  art," 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    287 

"Monsieur,"  said  Bobbie,  nestling  closer  to  him, 
"I  ain't  gwowed  up  yet — I'm  almost  gwowed  up 
but  not  quite,  and  I  don't  un'astand  big  wowds— 
Oh,  yes — I  know  lots  of  big  wowds — the  wowds 
Muwer  and  Fawer  say — but  not  gweat  big  wowds 
like  you  said." 

"You  are  grown  up  enough  for  me.  If  you 
won't  come  and  live  with  me  and  be  my  son,  will 
you  be  my  friend,  Robert?" 

Of  all  things  Bobbie  loved  it  was  to  be  called 
Robert :  it  made  him  feel  very  important  and  like 
Father. 

"Your  intimate  fwiend?" 

' '  My  intimate  friend.  * ' 

"Yes,  Monsieur:  I'll  be  your  intimate  fwiend." 

There  was  a  stately  dignity  in  the  lift  of  the 
curly  head  as  Bobbie  held  out  his  hand.  John 
felt  he  had  seldom  known  a  more  solemn  compact 
than  when  he  took  Bobbie's  tiny  hand  in  his  own. 

"And  may  I  depend  on  you,  Robert,  and  come 
to  you  when  I  need  a  friend  to  help  me?" 

"  'Course,"  Bobbie  was  emphatic — "a  fwiend 
is  always  weady  to  help  a  fwiend — that's  what 
Muwer  says.  A  fwiend  never  goes  back  on  a 
fwiend — that's  what  Fawer  says." 

"Then  it's  a  bargain.  We  are  friends  now  for 
fair."  John  spoke  with  eagerness. 

"Cwoss  your  hawt,"  said  Bobbie,  making  a 
cabalistic  sign  over  his  little  white  breast,  where- 
upon John  reverently  went  through  the  ceremony. 


288    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"My  friend  Robert,  will  you  grant  me  a 
favour?" 

"  'Course,"  said  Bobbie,  "that's  what  fwiends 
always  do." 

' l  Will  you  dine  with  me  ? ' ' 

Bobbie 's  face  fell : 

"Oh,  I'm  not  'lowed  to  sit  up  to  dinner!  I  have 
to  go  to  bed  at  seven  o'clock — I  always  have  to 
undwess  for  bed  just  the  time  that  Muvver  is 
undwessing  for  dinner." 

John  assumed  an  air  of  dramatic  protest. 

"You  don't  suppose,  Sir,  I  would  ask  a  friend 
to  dine  with  me,  and  forget  his  habits,  do  you? 
I  know  you  dine  in  the  middle  of  the  day — didn't 
I  come  to  dine  with  you  the  day  we  went  to  the 
Bronx?  Dinner  shall  be  at  your  own  hour,  if 
you  will  give  me  the  pleasure  of  your  company." 

"Oh,  Bully!  Bully!"  shouted  Bobbie:  then  he 
checked  himself,  and  added  with  a  ceremonious 
little  air  of  formality: 

"Thank  you,  Monsieur.  It  will  give  me  gweat 
pleasure — that's  what  Muvver  says,  when  peoples 
ask  her ! ' ' 

"We  will  have  a  jolly  day,  Robert,  and  you 
shall  see  the  pony  that  I  bought  for  you." 

"Oh!"  A  shadow  fell  on  the  sensitive  little 
face. 

"That's  all  right — Robert — I  have  bought  it 
already:  I  was  only  in  fun  when  I  asked  you  to 
leave  Mother — I  wouldn't  have  you  leave  Mother 
for  anything — but  you  are  to  have  the  pony  and 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    289 

the  monkey  just  the  same.  I  got  the  pony  a  week 
ago  and  Brown — you  know  Brown,  my  coachman 
— is  training  it  for  you  until  you  go  to  the  coun- 
try: it's  a  beauty!" 

Whereupon,  Bobbie  being  a  normal  boy,  in- 
dulged in  shouts  and  jumps  and  loud  expressions 
of  delight. 

After  a  brief  talk  of  half  an  hour  the  friends 
bade  each  other  good-bye.  John,  with  a  lighter 
— if  a  heavier — heart  ran  down  the  stone  steps 
of  the  house.  Suddenly  he  was  aware  of  some  one 
gazing  at  him  steadily  and  unpleasantly;  he 
turned  and  saw  the  man  with  the  evil  face  and 
the  shifty  bloodshot  eyes  who  had  stopped  him 
that  winter  morning  on  his  way  to  the  Metropoli- 
tan Museum.  The  man  stood  about  thirty  feet 
away  from  the  Barkley  house. 

John,  instinctively  and  unconsciously,  hastened 
his  steps — impelled  by  a  kind  of  psychic  recoil: 
it  urged  him  to  hurry  away :  he  walked  about  fifty 
feet — then  he  checked  himself: 

"Not  a  second  time,"  he  said  to  himself,  "I 
will  not  run  away  a  second  time  from  that 
wretched  creature:  the  first  time  it  was  because 
I  had  an  engagement  and  was  late — but  this  time 
it  is  purely  a  case  of  nerves :  I  will  not  allow  my- 
self to  have  this  sense  of  disgust  for  any  fellow- 
being;  we  are  all  miserable — he  in  his  way — I  in 
mine. '  ' 

An  intense  newborn  desire  to  help  this  pitiable 
object  surged  within  John. 


290    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"I  will  bring  a  happier  look  to  that  wretched 
face:"  he  turned  with  friendly  impulse — and— 
there  was  no  one  to  be  seen!  Up  and  down  the 
street  John  looked — the  man  was  gone !  The  dusk 
was  beginning  to  fall  but  he  could  plainly  see 
the  street  for  several  squares  in  either  direction : 
no  one  was  in  sight.  John  hurried  to  the  next 
house — before  which  the  man  had  been  standing— 
and  peered  over  the  railing  into  the  area;  no  one 
was  there,  he  had  vanished  as  absolutely  as  if  he 
had  been  a  grim  shadow:  no  trace  of  .any  living 
creature  was  where  the  man  had  stood  an  instant 
before. 

Something  colder  than  coldness  passed  over 
John — his  flesh  rose,  a  clammy  shiver  crept  in 
and  out  of  the  roots  of  his  hair. 

"What  nonsense" — he  muttered  impatiently — 
"my  nerves  are  rotten!  I  am  getting  morbid." 

"With  challenged  self-control  he  threw  off  the 
haunting  shudder — the  unpleasant  picture  of  the 
man — and  walked  briskly  on  thinking  of  his  loyal 
little  intimate  friend. 


CHAPTER  XXIV 

"ISN'T  this  bully,  John?  It's  the  very  thing 
for  you.  It  will  get  some  ozone  into  your  lungs 
and  banish  the  blue  devils — you  are  no  more  like 
yourself  these  days  than  a  mope  is  like  a  magpie." 

Ted  Eemsen  spoke  with  his  usual  airy  inconse- 
quence, a  kind  of  monologue  which  demanded  no 
answer.  f 

It  was  a  fresh  dewy  July  morning:  Ted  and 
John  had  come,  at  Ted's  solicitation,  for  a  tramp 
in  the  mountains.  With  the  instinctive  intuition 
that  the  careless  have  at  times,  Ted  was  conscious 
of  the  feverish  state  in  which  John's  nerves  had 
been  of  late  and  of  a  gradual  increase  of  mental 
depression;  it  had  given  him  much  concern. 
John  had  always  won  Ted's  enthusiasm,  because 
of  his  splendid  balance  and  his  superb  self-control : 
this  restlessness  was  entirely  new,  and  it  awak- 
ened questions  and  anxieties  in  Ted:  that  it  was 
not  apparent  to  those  who  saw  John,  on  the  pol- 
ished surface,  Ted  knew,  but  the  very  effort  which 
John  made  to  conceal  it  made  it  the  more  alarm- 
ing to  Ted's  intuitive  penetration. 

Ted  Remsen  was  a  buoyant,  breezy  creature, 
taking  life  without  serious  contemplation  or  anal- 
ysis, but  he  was  quick  to  perceive,  and  he  was  a 

291 


292    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

staunch  friend,  bringing  into  his  friendship  the 
same  bright  qualities,  the  same  gay  tactics  that 
made  him  a  favourite  in  society.  He  could  not 
follow  the  serious  problems  and  phases  of  a  deeper 
and  more  complex  nature;  of  clouds  that  come 
from  tragedies  of  the  soul  he  knew  little :  but  let 
a  fellow  be  in  trouble  and  Ted  was  sure  to  be 
there,  to  chat  with  him,  to  cheerfully  bully  him, 
to  playfully  badger  him,  until  the  cloud  (van- 
ished. 

Although  Ted  had  always  been  fascinated  by 
John,  he  could  not  understand  nor  follow  him  in 
the  subtleties  and  complexities  of  his  tempera- 
ment: and  he  had  been  happy  to  find  that  John 
had  apparently  gotten  away  from  his  early  habit 
of  analysis  and  introspection.  Ted  had  never 
found  John  more  congenial  and  companionable 
than  during  the  last  two  years  when  John  seemed 
to  have  gotten  over  his  "tiresome  trick  of  think- 
ing"— as  Ted  had  called  it — and  rode  gaily  on 
the  crest  of  the  wave:  but  for  the  last  three 
months  the  old  habit  had  fallen  upon  John  again, 
emphasised  by  a  restlessness  which  was  entirely 
new:  at  Harvard  Ted  used  to  say,  "Now,  John 
Wright,  you  are  playing  chess  with  your  mind 
again :  are  you  trying  to  checkmate  the  devil,  that 
you  study  the  board  of  life  as  you  do  I  Chuck  it ! 
What  difference  does  it  make  if  two  and  two  make 
four  or  twenty-two — it  will  be  all  the  same  a  hun- 
dred years  from  now.  Come,  and  have  a  drink. ' ' 

But  since  John  had  come  to  New  York,  to  Ted 's 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    293 

great  relief,  he  had  been  altogether  different  until 
lately-:  ''Now,  he  is  up  to  his  old  College  tricks 
again,"  said  Ted  to  himself,  "thinking  and  puck- 
ering up  his  forehead:  and  he's  sad  besides:  he 
has  been  so  jolly  and  normal  for  two  years!" 

Ted 's  faithful  friendship  made  frantic  effort  to 
get  in  touch  with  what  he  could  not  comprehend, 
and  to  that  end  he  employed  his  usual  methods, 
which  made  him  an  intolerable  nuisance  to  John 
at  the  same  time  that  he  really  was  a  comfort. 

Ted  gave  him  no  peace  until  he  reluctantly  con- 
sented in  July  to  run  North  for  a  week-end  tramp. 
They  had  come  to  the  Adirondacks  and  were  set- 
ting off  for  a  mountain  climb,  on  the  first  morning 
of  their  stay.  It  was  a  wonderful  day !  The  dew 
was  sparkling  on  the  grass — the  birds  were  sing- 
ing, great  fleecy  clouds  were  crowning  the  moun- 
tains which  were  strong  in  the  strength  of  the 
sun ;  the  air  was  fragrant  with  the  pungent,  spicy 
odours  of  balsam  and  pine. 

John  felt  the  returning  glow  of  virile  life  leap- 
ing in  his  veins  as  he  tramped/  and  his  tired 
nerves  were  braced  as  he  breathed  the  clear  North- 
ern balsam-laden  air. 

Ted  turned  upon  John  suddenly: 

"Say,  old  fellow,  what's  been  the  matter  with 
you,  anyway?" 

' '  The  matter  with  me  ? ' '  John  said  nonchalantly. 

"Oh,  come  off!  you  know  what  I  mean.  What's 
this  'black  bat  thing'  that's  settled  upon  you 
lately?" 


294    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Nothing,"  said  John  sententiously. 

' '  Nothing?  Eot !  Can 't  you  give  a  straight  an- 
swer to  a  straight  question  from  a  fellow  ? ' ' 

"I've  had  frightful  headaches,  that's  all — never 
had  a  headache  in  my  life  before — it's  altogether 
physical. ' ' 

Ted  looked  at  him  critically. 

"Bubbish!  A  fellow  that  was  Captain  of  the 
crew  at  Harvard  and  has  your  build  doesn't  have 
headaches  for  nothing!  it  may  be  headaches  that 
make  the  trouble,  but  what's  the  trouble  that 
makes  the  headaches?  That's  the  rub." 

"Is  there  any  trouble?"  John  said  carelessly, 
"I  am  sure  I  don't  know  what  it  is." 

"Chuck  it,  John!  'Why  should  the  spirit  of 
mortal  be  proud '  with  his  chum?  Nobody  else 
can  see  it:  you're  as  effectual  in  hiding  your  dark, 
deep  secrets  as  though  you  were  made  in  Ger- 
many: you  might  be  a  side-splitting  clown  in  a 
circus,  for  all  the  trouble  you  show  to  the  world, 
but  you  can't  fool  your  Uncle  Dudley;  you've  got 
the  blue  devils  under  your  light  and  debonair  man- 
ner and  no  mistake!  and  I  intend  to  know  what 
it  is!" 

"Do  you?"  said  John  quietly:  "let  me  know 
what  it  is  when  you  find  out." 

Then  silence  fell:  John  walked  briskly,  with- 
out speaking.  Ted  kept  step  beside  him  and 
looked  at  him  out  of  the  corners  of  his  eyes:  a 
proud  reserve  had  fallen  upon  John :  every  trace 
of  nervous  tension  had  apparently  vanished. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    295 

"My  word!  what  a  swell  he  is!"  Ted  said  to 
himself:  "He  looks  like  Jupiter  or  one  of  those 
old  Olympian  duffers — I  look  like  thirty  cents  be- 
side him :  no  one  would  ever  think  of  putting  Ted 
Eemsen  amongst  the  Olympian  lot!  A  man  who 
can  hold  his  tongue  and  look  such  a  blasted  swell, 
when  he  wants  to,  is  a  crackerjack:  doesn't  he 
look  a  stunner?  I  was  a  fool  to  butt  in  like  that 
and  ask  questions — I  wish  I  could  learn  to  hold 
•my  tongue  but  I  never  can,  the  question  is  out  be- 
fore I  know  it!  I  hope  to  Heaven  he  isn't  in  a 
huff." 

At  that  moment  John  turned  and  laid  his  hand 
on  Ted's  arm: 

"Ted,  you're  a  brick!  The  most  loyal  friend  a 
man  ever  had."  And  then  he  changed  the  sub- 
ject— "Isn't  it  a  glorious  day?" 

"The  day's  all  right,"  shouted  the  relieved 
Ted,  and  forthwith  conversation  turned  into  old 
and  familiar  channels  with  pauses  of  quiet  as  the 
two  men  climbed  up  and  up  the  stony  path  of  the 
mountainside  through  the  thick  tangle  of  the 
forest  fresh  with  morning  dew. 

When  they  reached  the  mountain  top  John's 
nerves  tingled,  his  lungs  rilled  and  a  sense  of  buoy- 
ant well-being  possessed  him.  For  a  moment  he 
felt  as  though  he  and  Ted  were  Freshmen  once 
more  in  the  early  Harvard  days :  he  stretched  out 
his  arms,  and  drew  in  great  draughts  of  the  clear, 
untainted  air. 

The  mountains  lay  majestically  around  them 


296    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

with  fleecy  cloud-drifts  upon  their  summits  and 
their  sides:  beautiful  green  valleys  ran  between 
the  mountains,  they  were  dotted  with  farm 
houses  which  made  them  homelike,  giving  a  touch 
of  human  life  to  the  austere  beauty:  a  friendly 
lake  of  living  sapphire  gleamed  in  the  sun:  the 
clear,  keen  air  had  that  quality  which  soothes 
and  braces  the  lungs  and  the  heart,  opening  its 
arteries  and  sending  the  blood  in  rhythmic  flow  to 
the  brain. 

"Ted,  I  feel  better,"  said  John  as  he  breathed 
deep,  expanding  his  chest. 

" Hurrah!  I  knew  you  would,"  cried  the  de- 
lighted Ted. 

John  threw  himself  on  one  of  the  high  rocks  that 
commanded  the  restful  and  arousing  view. 

"Ted,"  he  said,  "wasn't  it  wonderful  what 
practical  truths  those  old  Greeks  put  into  their 
myths  ?  Take  the  story  of  Antaeus,  for  example- 
he  was  strengthened  every  time  he  touched  Mother 
Earth,  no  matter  what  the  fight  had  been — and  so 
am  I."  John  looked  hungrily  at  the  mountains. 
"I  feel  like  a  new  man  when  I  touch  Her." 

"Well,  why  don't  you  stay  on  here  a  week  or 
two,"  said  Ted,  "with  your  old  Mammy?  She's 
dying  to  hold  you  in  her  mighty  arms  awhile 
longer.  It  would  do  you  good :  say,  old  chap,  I  '11 
stay  with'  you,  if  you  say  so. ' ' 

"I  can't,  Ted." 

"Why  the  devil  can't  you?" 

"Because,"  John  spoke  bitterly,  "I'm  dragged 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    297 

back  to  stones  and  mortar  and  city  streets  by 
the  inexorable  Dead  Hand." 

' '  Holy  smoke !  how  uncanny ! ' ' — and  Ted  looked 
around  him  as  though  he  were  looking  for  the 
dead  hand  in  a  way  that  made  John  smile. 

"My  head  ached  so  last  month  I  let  everything 
go — and  I  was  just  about  to  attend  to  my  duties 
this  month  when  you  butted  in  and  took  me  off, 
so  I  have  double  work  to  do." 

"Aren't  you  glad  I  did  butt  in?" 

"You  bet  I  am!" 

They  opened  their  knapsacks  and  spread  their 
breakfast  on  a  rock.  Ted  had  brought  a  little 
spirit-lamp  and  warmed  the  coffee  and  boiled  the 
eggs.  John  ate  with  an  appetite  that  did  Ted 
good. 

* '  This  is  a  bully  breakfast-party,  John ! ' ' 

"The  best  ever,"  assented  John. 

They  laughed  and  talked  like  boys.  When  break- 
fast was  over  they  smoked — remembered — and 
were  silent. 

"To  think  we  have  only  one  more  tramp!" 
John  spoke  regretfully. 

"Well,  we've  got  that  at  any  rate,"  replied  Ted 
cheerfully;  "don't  let  us  think  beyond  to-morrow 
— to-day  and  to-morrow." 

"And  after  that— what?"  said  John,  looking 
far  off  over  the  mountains. 

There  came  a  time  when  Ted  remembered,  with 
an  unbearable  pang,  the  tones  in  John's  voice  as 


298    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

he  said — "And  after  that — what?"  They  took 
things  lazily,  leisurely,  until  ten-thirty,  then  they 
started  on  the  downward  tramp. 

In  a  mossy,  sheltered  place  on  the  mountain- 
side they  found  a  bubbling  spring  and  stopped  to 
drink:  from  the  pathless  forest  there  came  the 
sound  of  a  thrush's  song. 

"Hear  that  thrush!  My  word!  but  he's  a 
dandy !  It  beats  the  Metropolitan  singers  all  hol- 
low"— and  Ted  Eemsen  pricked  up  his  ears. 

A  bitter  memory  rushed  over  John  at  Ted's 
words.  With  mental  precision  he  swiftly  weighed 
the  comparative,  relative  value  of  things. 

The  Opera  House, — curtained,  gorgeous,  glit- 
tering, fashionable,  stifling,  under  a  benumbing 
spell — of  which  the  spell  of  the  music  is  but  a 
small  part — the  beautiful  women,  blazing  in  jewels 
and  in  diaphanous  garments,  with  languid  airs 
and  heavy-lidded  eyes,  temptation  lurking  in  their 
depths,  the  low  words,  the  subtle  fragrance  from 
soft  garments  and  from  fair  white  flesh — rous- 
ing the  physical  senses. 

The  Morning  on  the  Mountainside — fresh,  crisp 
air,  clean  and  crystal-clear,  the  shining  sun  spark- 
ling in  splendour,  the  spacious  spaces  of  the  wide 
blue  sky,  the  upward  climb  to  the  heights,  where 
the  secrets  of  the  universe  are  whispered  to  the 
inner  ear  of  those  who  listen — the  fragrance  of 
the  immemorial  pines,  with  their  low  murmuring 
music  that  cannot  be  reproduced  by  any  human 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    299 

note,  and  a  happy  thrush  singing  its  heart  out  to 
the  morning  sky. 

"Ah!"  said  John  as  he  tramped  on,  breathing 
deep  the  pine-laden  air. 


CHAPTER   XXV 

Two  days  later  John  was  seated  in  a  little  suf- 
focating room,  partitioned  off  with  glass,  in  the 
Safe  Deposit  Vaults:  his  securities  and  valuable 
business  papers  were  spread  out  before  him. 

In  a  tense  and  nervous  way  he  was  impatiently 
going  through  them.  It  was  suffocatingly  hot, 
and  John  was  tired :  he  had  dismissed  his  assist- 
ants an  hour  before  because  he  could  not  stand 
the  smug  smiles  on  their  complacent  faces  as  they 
cut  off  coupons  with  zest.  His  teeth  were  set; 
his  face  was  a  grim  protest;  all  his  being  was 
hungering  and  thirsting  for  green  fields  and  out- 
of-doors — and  most  for  the  mountain  top  he  had 
left  for  this  sordid  task — and  yet  he  was  inexor- 
ably held  in  the  barren  and  arid  prison  of  stone 
and  mortar,  in  the  stifling,  sweltering  vortex  of 
New  York — and  it  was  July ! 

"  Somewhere, "  he  said  between  shut  teeth, 
1 1  fresh  breezes  are  blowing,  the  sky  is  blue !  Some- 
where a  thrush  is  singing,  and  here  I  sit  in  a  vault, 
a  living  dead  man  in  a  tomb.  Bah!  It  is  unen- 
durable— steel  floors,  steel  doors,  steel  walls,  and 
instead  of  the  sky,  a  roof  of  steel!  Marion  was 
right!  I  am  a  dead  man — a  conscious  dead  man 
who  cannot  be  decently  buried.  Good  God.  A 

300 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    301 

stone  vault  in  a  cemetery  would  be  better  than  a 
steel  vault  in  a  sky-scraper:  there,  at  least,  one 
could  look  out  through  the  gratings  of  the  vault 
on  grass  and  sky :  but  here  there  is  nothing  but 
steel  on  every  side — relentless,  inexorable,  hideous 
steel!  and  instead  of  picking  mountain  flowers  I 
am  cutting  coupons — cutting  coupons — cutting 
coupons.  I  LOATHE  them ! ' ' 

He  knew  that  his  nerves  were  out  of  order ;  but 
how  can  a  strong  man  bear  pain  incessantly,  lose 
his  sleep  continually  and  not  feel  it,  at  last,  in  his 
nerves?  There  were  so  many  kinds  of  pain,  so 
many  kinds  of  irritation  he  had  to  bear :  just  now 
there  was  the  added  pang  of  this  hunger  and 
thirst 'for  the  wide,  open  country:  he  loved  the 
country;  even  when  it  was  ice-bound  and  snow- 
covered,  it  fascinated  and  drew  him:  but  in  the 
flowering  summer  time  it  seemed  an  absolute  ne- 
cessity: he  had  not  realised  how  vital  a  part  of 
life  it  was  to  him!  he  suffered  acutely,  mentally 
and  physically,  especially  to-day  after  his  hours 
of  distasteful  work.  He  pushed  his  securities 
aside  and  put  his  hand  to  his  head,  which  was 
aching  savagely:  a  numb  listlessness  came  over 
him:  his  chief  sensation  was  one  of  relief  that 
those  tiresome  clerks  had  gone  and  that — even  if 
he  had  to  be  in  this  steel  prison — at  least  he  was 
alone. 

"May  I  come  in?"  -The  sweet,  low  voice  at 
the  door  startled  John  like  a  shrill  trumpet-blast : 
for  a  moment  he  lost  his  poise,  but  social  armour 


302    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

is  a  ready  protection  and  John's  was  close  at 
hand,  though  he  had  laid  it  aside  for  a  moment: 
quickly  he  pulled  himself  together  and  put  it 
swiftly  on  again :  it  was  his  most  suave  and  charm- 
ing self  who  opened  the  little  glass  door  to  admit 
— Ameda  Winthrop! 

She  looked  unusually  attractive  in  her  bright 
summer  garments,  her  smart  hat  a  riot  of  nod- 
ding flowers  and  her  delicate  lace  veil  a  softener, 
an  emphasiser  of  her  beauty. 

"Welcome,  Mrs.  Winthrop,"  John  said,  gra- 
ciously: "Fate  has  sent  you  on  an  errand  of 
mercy  to  cheer  an  arduous  task." 

She  smiled  alluringly: 

"I  had  to  come  when  I  heard  that  you  were 
here. ' ' 

The  sharp  surprise  as  of  the  trumpet-note  had 
passed  and  John 's  aesthetic  taste  was  soothed  and 
caressed  by  her  musical  voice. 

"How  delightful  that  our  respective  vaults 
should  be  so  near, ' '  she  continued :  "I  have  been 
putting  away  my  diamonds  before  we  leave  for 
California.  Oh,  I  wish  you  would  go  with  us !  I 
have  kept  your  place  in  the  car  free,  so  that  you 
may  change  your  mind  any  moment.  Horace 
would  be  charmed. ' ' 

' '  Thank  you,  but,  as  I  wrote  you,  it  is  quite  im- 
possible for  me  to  get  away." 

' '  I  am  so  disappointed ! ' '  she  looked  around  the 
room:,  "Think  of  my  audacity  in  presuming  to 
interrupt  Mr.  Cro3sus  at  his  imperial  task!" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    303 

She  pouted  like  a  mischievous  child  who  has 
dared  a  naughty  deed  but  is  sure  of  pardon  and 
welcome:  she  put  her  brilliant  sunshade  on  a 
chair  with  the  air  of  one  who  is  at  home  and  has 
the  intention  of  staying  awhile :  she  walked  over 
to  the  table  and  contemplated  the  papers  piled 
upon  it. 

' '  Just  look  at  these  heaps  and  heaps  and  heaps 
of  securities:  isn't  it  splendid?"  She  laughed 
merrily. 

''Splendid?" — John's  voice  was  like  the  lash 
of  a  whip — "I  should  like  to  dump  them  all  into 
the  East  Kiver." 

She  arched  her  delicate  eyebrows. 

"Mon  Dieu!  What  a  Nero ! ' '  She  came  nearer 
to  him:  "What  is  it,  John?"  Her  voice  became 
appealing,  tender:  "What  has  been  the  matter 
with  you  for  the  last  month  or  two?  Are  you  ill? 
Tell  me,  mon  ami,  are  you  ill?" 

John  tossed  his  head  like  a  restive  horse. 

' '  Those  things ' ' — he  pointed  to  the  table  loaded 
with  securities — ".are  corroding  chains!  This 
steel  vault  is  a  charnel-house !  I  worship  the  God 
of  Nature.  I  want  to  lie  on  the  green  grass  under 
the  wide  sky — and  be  free!" 

There  was  something  in  his  voice  that  jarred 
upon  the  fastidious  lady:  it  held  a  heat  that  is 
not  to  be  tolerated  for  a  moment  in  the  social 
world — except  in  affairs  of  the  heart  and  then 
only  to  the  woman  of  the  affair. 


304    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Really?" — she  spoke  with  suave  sweetness— 
"in  the  orchard — at  dawn?" 

"Yes," — said  John  quietly — "in  the  orchard— 
at  dawn." 

Instantly — after  months  of  alternating  hopes 
and  fears,  of  self-deception  and  intuitive  percep- 
tion, Ameda  Winthrop  knew  the  truth.  Her  eyes 
narrowed  unpleasantly;  they  had  a  colder  glint 
of  green. 

"There  is  a  woman  in  the  orchard — perhaps?" 

John  lifted  his  head  imperiously :  the  outer  cov- 
ering of  reserve  which  he  had  worn  since  he  came 
to  New  York  and  which  had  become  a  very  part 
of  him,  suddenly  dropped  from  him :  with  uncon- 
scious pride  he  said  in  quiet  tones : 

"It  is  true — there  is  a  woman  in  the  orchard — 
a  girl  as  beautiful  as  the  morning  and  as  pure 
as  the  dew!" 

Mrs.  Winthrop  looked  at  him  steadily  for  a 
moment,  then  shrugged  her  Parisian  shoulders: 

"Indeed!  How  very  romantic — how  very 
poetic ! ' ' 

She  took  her  sunshade  from  the  chair  and 
smoothed  its  flowery  folds. 

"I  fear,  Mr.  Wright,  I  am  keeping  you  from 
your  task:  I  will  not  longer  disturb  you.  Good 
afternoon." 

She  bowed  with  inimitable  grace.  John  opened 
the  door  for  her. 

"Thank  you  for  coming,  Mrs.  Winthrop,  to 
brighten  this  boredom." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    305 

"Thank  you  for  your  charming  confidence," 
Mrs.  Winthrop's  voice  was  treacherously  sweet, 
"my  congratulations.  Ah,  I  forgot — you  cannot 
marry." 

"No,"  said  John,  "I  cannot  marry." 

When  she  was  alone  in  her  motor,  Ameda  Win- 
throp  snapped  together  her  small  white  teeth. 

"Holy  Virgin!"  she  said:  "His  eyes — when 
he  spoke  of  her !  He  can  love !  Ah !  he  can  love  1 
I  should  like  to  meet  that  girl — and — and — 
strangle  her!" 

When  he  had  closed  the  glass  door  behind  Mrs. 
Winthrop,  John  sat  down  at  the  table  and  leaned 
his  aching  head  upon  his  hand. 

"That  chapter  is  ended — thank  God!" 


CHAPTER  XXVI 

IN  the  month  of  August  a  titanic  tragedy  con- 
fronted the  world — a  universal  deluge  of  blood, 
which  had  increased  with  each  passing  month, 
swept  over  Europe. 

The  unbelievable  was  happening :  men  had  gone 
mad,  and  were  flying  at  each  other's  throats :  one 
nation  after  another  nation  became  involved  in 
War. 

From  across  the  sea,  America,  with  smug  com- 
placency, watched  in  silence :  in  silence  she  looked 
on  at  the  crime  of  the  ages,  the  crime  against 
heroic  Belgium:  she  drew  around  her  corpulent 
shoulders  the  mantle  of  Neutrality,  stifling  her 
international  conscience  which  had  come  to  her 
as  an  heritage  from  civilisation — that  interna- 
tional conscience  which  is  the  proof  of  the  solidar- 
ity of  mankind. 

The  swift  onrush  of  ghastly  surprises  staggered 
humanity:  men  looked  at  one  another  wondering 
if  they  were  sane,  if  the  words  they  read  were 
true  or  if  it  were  all  only  an  awful  international 
nightmare  which  had  all  mankind  in  its  fateful 
grip. 

Men  went  to  sleep  pondering  the  incredible,  and 
eagerly  waited  for  the  morning  when  they  read 

306 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    307 

the  facts  that  sounded  like  fiction,  and  devoured 
the  news  which  read  like  fable,  then  turned  to  the 
voice  of  the  Nation  as  reflected  in  the  able  edi- 
torials of  the  daily  journals :  never  had  a  crisis  in 
history  found  the  leaders  of  current  thought — the 
respectable  journals  of  the  day — so  poised,  so 
serious,  so  earnest:  holding  jingoism  in  leash, 
keeping  hysteria  at  bay  and  craven  fear  con- 
trolled, they  faced  the  facts  with  calm  analysis. 

It  was  an  afternoon  in  crisp  October.  John 
was  walking  down  Fifth  Avenue:  his  head,  usu- 
ally carried  with  proud  poise,  was  bent :  his  eyes 
were  upon  the  pavement:  he  was  in  the  grip  of 
what  he  called  his  black  devils. 

The  world's  great  tragedy  haunted  him.  More- 
over, he  had  just  come  from  the  funeral  of  his 
friend,  Kenneth  Vandeveer,  a  fine  fellow  whom 
he  greatly  admired.  He  had  been  a  pall-bearer 
and  in  the  midst  of  the  solemn  service  new 
thoughts  had  gripped  him,  and  they  still  followed 
him  with  obstinate  persistency — thoughts  of  the 
nothingness  and  futility  of  all  life. 

Looking  up  suddenly  he  saw  he  was  passing  his 
Club :  he  remenibered  that  Fairfield  Murray  was 
to  sail  to-morrow  for  England  to  go  to  the  front 
and  that  Ted  had  said  they  were  all  to  meet  at 
the  Club  at  five  o'clock  for  a  final  farewell. 

John  had  not  been  to  the  Club  for  many  weeks 
and  he  felt  less  like  it  than  ever  after  the  solemn 
hours  of  the  afternoon.  Funerals  did  not  depress 
John,  as  a  rule,  but  the  thoughts  that  had  been 


308    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

suggested  by  Vandeveer's  funeral,  to-day,  had 
wrapt  him  in  a  dense  depression. 

However,  he  must  say  good-bye  to  Murray:  it 
would  be  easier  and  quicker  to  run  into  the  Club 
for  a  few  moments  than  it  would  be  to  hunt  Mur- 
ray up  later.  He  looked  at  his  watch  and,  finding 
it  was  half -after  five,  he  went  in;  he  found  a 
group  of  men  engaged  in  earnest  conversation 
as  they  smoked  and  drank. 

Fairfield  Murray,  a  delightful  Englishman 
whom  John  liked  extremely,  was  the  centre  of  the 
group :  beside  him  was  another  Englishman  whom 
John  did  not  know,  personally. 

John  was  welcomed  with  enthusiasm  from  one 
and  another  as  he  went  toward  the  group. 

"Hello,  Wright,  glad  to  see  you.  Come  and 
have  a  cocktail." 

"Where  have  you  kept  yourself,  Wright? 
You're  a  stranger." 

"My  word!  but  it's  good  for  sore  eyes  to  see 
you!" 

"You're  just  in  the  nick  of  time,  Wright,"  this 
from  Ted  Eemsen, ' '  Murray  sails  to-morrow. ' ' 

"Sol  heard. ' '  John  turned  to  Murray  and  held 
out  his  hand,  "I  came  to  wish  you  good  luck, 
Murray." 

"I'm  jolly  glad  you've  come,"  said  Murray. 
"We  got  back  from  the  West  as  fast  as  possible: 
we  were  miles  away  from  civilisation  in  camp— 
you  know — we  arrived  last  night. ' ' 

"I  understand  that  you  moved  mountains  and 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    309 

prairies  to  get  here  in  time  for  to-morrow's  ship. 
Three  cheers  that  you  made  it !  I  envy  you  with 
all  my  heart!'* 

There  was  a  ring  of  sympathetic  fellow-feeling 
and  enthusiasm  in  John's  voice  which  met  a  quick 
response  in  the  faces  of  the  Englishmen :  Murray 
turned  to  him  eagerly : 

' '  Come  with  us,  then !  This  infernal  War  is  not 
sectional  nor  local ;  it  is  international — a  "War  of 
Civilisation  against  Barbarism,  of  World-peace 
against  Militarism:  it  is  every  civilised  man's 
privilege — not  to  say  duty — to  stop  the  spread  of 
the  rabies  when  a  mad  dog  is  loose ! ' ' 

A  glow  came  to  John 's  face : 

"Wouldn't  I  go  with  you  if  I  could!  I  should 
like  nothing  better. ' ' 

"Be  careful,  Wright!"  said  Mr.  Morgan:  "Re- 
member, you  are  a  Neutral." 

"I  am  a  man!"  said  John  hotly,  his  eyes  kin- 
dling :  "  If  I  could  manage  it,  I  'd  go  with  Murray 
in  a  second ! ' ' 

"You!"  Ted  Eemsen  laid  down  his  glass  and 
looked  at  John  as  though  he  had  been  struck. 
' '  You,  John  Wright !  I  thought  you  didn  't  believe 
in  War!" 

"I  don't!  War  is  an  abomination:  Arbitration 
and  Disarmament  are  the  only  hope  of  Civilisa- 
tion :  and  as  we  are  too  stupid  and  blind  to  become 
civilised,  the  next  best  thing  is  to  avoid  War  when 
we  can :  it  is  our  duty  to  maintain  a  neutral  posi- 
tion as  long  as  we  can — in  so  far  as  fighting  is  con- 


310    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

cerned:  but  it  is  quite  another  thing  to  be  silent 
and  acquiescent  in  the  face  of  gross  injustice, 
broken  treaties  and  gigantic  wrongs!  It  makes 
every  sense  of  honour  in  a  man  rise  up  and  cry 
aloud  for  action,  to  have  our  citizens  gagged." 

"Nobody  gags  us,"  said  Ted  argumentatively. 

"It  amounts  to  the  same  thing,"  snapped  John; 
"there  is  a  pressure  brought  to  bear  upon  us  to 
make  us  feel  we  owe  it  to  the  Administration  to 
be  silent :  we  are  told  that  '  we  must  not  rock  the 
boat':  that  sounds  well,  but  if  the  waters  through 
which  the  boat  is  going  are  black  with  struggling, 
writhing  victims  who  have  been  knocked  over 
from  another  boat,  I,  for  one,  prefer  to  risk  rock- 
ing it!" 

"Good!  Bravo!"  cried  Murray  and  the  other 
Englishman. 

"What  do  you  think  we  should  do,  Wright  t" 
said  Barkley. 

"Do?"  exclaimed  John.  "We  should  protest: 
we  owe  it  to  our  honour,  we  owe  it  to  our  relations 
with  the  brave  countries,  heroically  fighting  for 
righteousness,  for  liberty  and  for  democratic  prin- 
ciples ;  we  owe  it  to  posterity,  to  protest ! ' ' 

' '  Holy  Smoke ! ' '  said  Ted : '  *  And  this  is  the  man 
who  has  fought  bloody  fights  with  me  because  I 
believe  in  War  and  he  doesn't!" 

"The  time  will  come,  Bemsen,"  said  John, 
"when  no  man  will  believe  in  War :  when  War  will 
seem  as  futile  to  a  civilised  being  as  duelling  does  : 
but,  War  or  no  War,  the  United  States  should  be 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    311 

recorded  on  the  pages  of  history  for  all  time  with 
an  unmistakable,  unequivocal  protest!" 

"What  good  would  protest  do,"  said  Ted,  "un- 
less we  fight?" 

"It  would  define  our  moral  standard:  it  would 
make  it  clear  to  the  world,  and — what  is  more  im- 
portant— make  it  clear  to  ourselves.  Think  of 
what  we  are  letting  pass  in  silence  before  our 
eyes !  A  Treaty  has  been  torn  to  scraps  and  de- 
nied: an  international  obligation — in  which  we 
have  our  share,  even  if  only  indirect — has  been 
denied: — Belgium  has  been  outraged!  The  peo- 
ple of  Belgium  are  a  peaceful,  industrious,  self- 
governing  people — friends  of  all  the  world,  ad- 
mired by  all  the  world :  even  the  atrocities  of  the 
Congo  have  been  atoned  for  by  the  present  king, 
who  is  a  hero!  Belgium  has  been  invaded — its 
inhabitants  have  been  conquered  and  slaughtered 
— its  women  have  been  outraged — its  children 
have  been  mutilated — its  priests  have  been  shot 
— its  churches  have  been  defiled  and  destroyed! 
It  is  the  crying  duty  of  every  civilised  nation  to 
proclaim  a  horror  of  this  cruelty,  this  breach  of 
faith,  this  wanton  barbarism." 

"What  should  we  do?"  said  Barkley. 

"I  think,"  replied  John,  "that  we  should  in- 
stantly sever  all  relations  with  Germany,  diplo- 
matic, commercial  and  social:  we  should  register 
on  the  pages  of  history,  with  indelible  ink,  our  dis- 
approval, our  horror  and  our  protest." 

"And  what  then?"  said  Ted. 


312    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Then  we  should  take  the  consequences  I" 
"The  consequences  would  be  War  I" 
"I  don't  believe  it,"  said  John;  "but  even  so! — 
there  is  only  one  righteous  logic  to  our  code. 
There  should  be  one  of  two  alternatives — either 
we  should  bravely  disarm  and  rely  upon  spiritual 
and  moral  force  alone — or,  if  we  insist  upon  main- 
taining an  army  and  navy,  let  us  use  that  army 
and  navy  to  help  the  side  of  righteousness  in  a 
great  moral  issue." 

"Then  you  say  you  would  recklessly  plunge  this 
Nation  into  "War?"  said  a  man  who  had  been 
listening  to  John,  as  so  many  men  listen  with  a 
preconceived  idea  of  what  the  speaker  intended 
to  say  and  a  personal  interpretation  of  what  he 
did  say. 

"Pardon  me,  Sir,  I  have  just  said  precisely  the 
reverse,"  John  spoke  somewhat  impatiently:  "As 
you  seem  to  have  misunderstood — I  will  repeat — 
I  do  no t  think  it  is  our  national  duty  to  fight :  on 
the  contrary,  it  is  our  duty  to  avoid  fighting :  but 
I  think  it  is  our  duty  to  protest,  to  make  our  na- 
tional indignation  clear  and  unmistakable:  I  do 
not  think  this  would  bring  War — I  think  it  would 
bring  international  respect ;  but  if  it  should  bring 
War — then  we  should  accept  the  consequences.  As 
it  is — we  may  not  even  speak !  We  may  not  even 
as  individuals  express  our  indignation  and  our 
wrath. ' ' 

"What  are  you  doing,  now,  I  should  like  to 
know?"  broke  in  Ted. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    313 

"I  am  doing  what  I  have  refrained  from  doing 
for  eight  weeks,  and  what  I  must  still  refrain  from 
doing  publicly.  Neutrality  is  a  wise  principle,  as 
far  as  active  interference  is  concerned,  but  Neu- 
trality of  the  mind  and  Neutrality  of  expression  is 
disintegrating  to  the  intellect  and  to  the  morals :  a 
Neutrality  that  advises  or  induces  silence  about 
the  things  that  grip  the  soul  and  the  conscience  is 
a  gag!  'Be  neutral' — 'Be  neutral' — Thunder!  it 
makes  me  tired. ' ' 

"Hurrah  for  you!"  shouted  a  jingo-eyed  man, 
in  a  belligerent  tone.  "I'm  for  War,  too!" 

John  turned  quickly: 

"You  have  misunderstood  me,  Sir!  I  am  not 
for  War !  I  do  not  believe  in  War :  I  think  War 
is  wrong — and  worse  than  wrong — it  is  idiotic, 
because  through  all  the  ages  it  has  never  perma- 
nently settled  anything.  War  is  an  economic  waste 
— a  barrier  to  growth — a  back-track  to  evolution ! 
— but  I  do  want  justice  and  I  believe  in  a  just 
sense  of  proportion.  Last  winter  we  coolly  shot 
down  three  hundred  Mexicans — for  what? — for 
the  mere  mistake  of  a  petty  official,  after  that  offi- 
cial had  apologised  and  been  punished :  and  yet  in 
this  great  moral  crisis  we  indifferently  proclaim 
Neutrality. ' ' 

' '  Say,  Wright,  why  don 't  you  hire  a  hall  ? ' '  cried 
Ted,  with  the  reminiscence  of  college  familiarity. 

"No  hall  for  me,  thank  you,"  said  John  good- 
humouredly ;  "I'm  not  a  speaker — I  wish  to  Heav- 
en I  were,  for  there  are  some  plain  truths  I  should 


314    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

like  to  state :  but  as  I  am  not  an  orator,  I  want  to 
express  my  pent-up  feelings  in  a  more  primitive 
fashion — I  want  to  go  with  Murray  and  fight  be- 
side dauntless  England  and  fearless  France ! ' ' 

"Oh,  I  say,  come,"  said  Murray  eagerly;  "we 
need  men  like  you,  Wright !  You  must  manage  it ! 
As  I  said,  this  War  is  a  War  of  Civilisation 
against  Barbarism." 

"That,"  said  Robert  Barkley,  "is  precisely 
what  Germany  says :  she  maintains  it  with  decision 
and  unction,  one  eye  lifted  to  God — and  the  other 
eye  squinting  to  the  East ! ' ' 

'  *  Poor  Germany ! ' '  said  John — a  whole-hearted 
sympathy  in  his  tone. 

"Poor  Germany?"  echoed  Ted:  "John,  you  are 
certainly  as  queer  as  a  quiz! — always  were! — 
you're  my  best  friend  and  yet  I  never  can  make 
you  out!  Here  you  are,  one  minute  wanting  to 
fight  Germany  and  the  next  minute  you're  croon- 
ing 'Poor  Germany' — 'Poor  Germany.' 

"It  isn't  Germany  I  want  to  fight,  Bemsen — it's 
Militarism ! ' ' 

"Well,  that's  the  same  thing,  isn't  it?" 

"Not  at  all.  This  War  is  not  the  fault  of  the 
German  people — it  is  the  fault  of  Militarism,  of 
Prussianism,  of  the  Hohenzollerns.  I  think,  per- 
haps, one  of  the  greatest  sins  of  this  War  is  the 
sin  against  the  mass  of  honest,  upright  German 
people.  Every  one  of  us  owes  Germany  a  debt  of 
gratitude,  and  we  should  not  forget  it." 

"I  should  like  to  know  what  you  or  any  one 


else  owes  'honest,  upright  Germany,'  "  said  Mur- 
ray 's  friend,  sarcastically  and  a  trifle  aggressively. 

"I — for  one — owe  her  an  immense  debt,"  John 
answered.  "  Beethoven  and  Wagner  are  my  in- 
spiration— Goethe  was  my  teacher — the  German 
thinkers  helped  to  set  me  intellectually  free!" 

1  'Germany's  not  setting  anybody  free  just 
now!"  the  Englishman  responded  grimly. 

"Eight  you  are!  but  Prussia  isn't  Germany!" 

"I  do  not  know  that  it  is  Prussia  alone,"  said 
Eobert  Barkley  thoughtfully:  "all  Germany  has 
always  harboured  the  Hate  germ,  and  Hate  is  dis- 
integrating— absolutely  fatal  for  nations  as  for 
individuals!  Do  you  remember  that  scene  in 
'  Faust, '  in  the  Leipsic  cellar — where  Brander  says 
—'A  German  can't  endure  the  French  to  see  or 
hear  of?" 

"I  do,"  responded  John,  "and  doesn't  it  add, 
'Yet  drinks  their  wines  with  hearty  cheer'?" 

"You  bet!"  said  Murray:  "Trust  a  German  to 
drink,  eat  or  take  whatever  he  wishes — hate,  ethics 
or  decency  to  the  contrary,  notwithstanding." 

He  shrugged  his  shoulders:  "It  is  merely  a 
matter  of  time,  however:  Germany  will  be 
crushed!" 

' '  Don 't  be  too  sure ! ' '  said  some  one : ' '  Germany 
is  hydra-headed  and  her  efficiency  is  something 
phenomenal. ' ' 

John  shook  his  head : ' '  The  grim  determination 
and  the  gallant  bravery  of  the  Allies  are  even 


more  phenomenal — and,  besides,  they  are  'thrice 
armed'  who  have  their  'quarrel  just.'  : 

A  responsive  light  came  into  Murray's  keen 
grey  eyes — a  warmth  shone  in  his  habitual  reserve 
and  with  almost  a  martial  ring  resounding  through 
the  quiet  of  his  pleasant  English  voice,  he  said: 

' '  If  the  justice  of  the  quarrel  makes  the  strength 
of  the  armaments,  then  we  are  invincible!"  He 
turned  to  John — "Will  you  come,  Wright?" 

"I  cannot,"  John  spoke  tensely. 

'  *  Don 't  back  out, ' '  said  the  other  Englishman  a 
trifle  snappishly. 

"I  said  it  is  impossible  for  me  to  go,"  answered 
John  with  a  touch  of  asperity,  and  then  he  added 
with  quiet  dignity,  "the  reasons  which  prevent 
me  are  purely  personal,  but  they  are  inexorable. ' ' 

He  bade  Murray  a  hearty  good-bye,  said  good 
luck  to  Murray's  friend,  and  went  hastily  out  of 
the  Club :  he  walked  blindly  up  Fifth  Avenue,  re- 
sentment seething  hot  within  him. 

A  bitter  rebellion  rose  in  his  mind,  fiercer  than 
ever  against  the  slavery  which  kept  him  from  all 
freedom  of  action :  freedom  seemed  to  him  now  the 
one  great  good ;  freedom  to  go  where  he  would— 
freedom  to  do  what  he  would — freedom  to  be  what 
he  would.  Latent  forces  and  virile  manhood  cried 
aloud  within  him  for  action — for  adventure:  he 
longed  to  follow  the  bent  of  his  own  impulse,  his 
own  compulsion,  whatever  it  might  be — he  longed 
for  free  places  and  wide  spaces — he  longed  for 
liberty — he  longed  for  life! 


CHAPTER  XXVII 

JOHN  went  to  the  park  and  walked  until  his  im- 
patient restlessness  changed  to  a  quieter  mood. 
Then  wrapped  in  melancholy  he  went  home. 

By  good  luck  he  had  no  evening  engagement :  he 
sat  alone  in  state  to  the  formal  serving  of  a  din- 
ner which  he  scarcely  ate,  then  he  gave  orders  that 
he  was  not  to  be  interrupted,  went  up  to  his  den 
and  locked  himself  in.  He  lighted  a  cigar  and  sat 
down  before  the  fire,  with  his  misery,  to  think  and 
to  dream.  Of  old  he  had  been  a  dreamer  of 
dreams,  but  then  he  had  dreamed  in  the  fervour 
of  youth — with  the  delight  of  hope :  now  he  must 
dream,  hopelessly,  of  a  promised  land,  the  gates 
of  which  are  barred  to  him  for  ever. 

He  closed  his  eyes: — on  the  other  side  of  the 
hearth,  he  saw  Marion  sitting,  gracious  and  beau- 
tiful, looking  at  him  with  inspiring  eyes :  her  poig- 
nant voice  was  softly  reading  to  him  as  in  the  old 
days  when  they  roamed  amongst  the  classics. 

This  was  home ! — a  bright  fire — a  locked  door — 
a  Beloved  so  near  that  an  outstretched  hand  could 
touch  her — and  a  secret  between  them  of  a  little 
child  on  the  way  to  her  and  to  him — a  little  child 
coming  down  the  pathway  of  the  stars. 

He  opened  his  eyes  and  shuddered ! — before  him 

317 


318    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

there  was  nothing  but  an  empty  chair — the  room 
was  silent,  as  silent  as  the  grave — there  was  no 
touch  of  feminine  softening  in  the  masculine 
atmosphere  of  this  hateful  place.  He  was  alone 
— he  would  never  know  that  home  picture  except 
in  dreams.  Even  if  he  could  soon  free  himself 
from  bondage,  he  would  not  be  free  to  wed.  Now 
he  was  kept  from  it  by  cruel  conditions  to  which 
he  had  assented,  then — as  Marion  was  lost  to  him 
— he  would  be  kept  from  it  by  the  obligation  of 
his  own  nature. 

John  was  no  moralist,  but  he  had  his  own  ideas 
of  sacrilege :  marriage  without  love  was  sacrilege 
to  him  and  children  born  of  a  loveless  marriage 
were  ethically  illegitimate.  Whilst  life  lasts  he 
must  be  for  evermore  alone :  his  passional  nature, 
the  tides  of  his  physical  manhood  must  ever  re- 
main checked  and  unfulfilled.  Nor  could  he  longer 
enjoy  exciting,  passing  affairs  of  the  heart:  the 
sensuous  pleasure  and  the  temptation  that  had 
come  to  him  from  Mrs.  Winthrop  had  been  a  very 
real  pleasure,  a  very  real  temptation,  but  then  he 
had  had  a  free  mind  and  a  free  heart:  now  his 
mind  was  possessed,  and  Marion  was  on  the 
throne  of  his  heart:  any  lesser  thing  would  jar 
against  the  essence  of  his  being — and  bore  him 
to  death.  And  as  for  the  unclean  things  which 
other  men  took,  as  substitute  for  wife  and  home 
and  love — they  had  no  relish  for  him:  as  a  mere 
matter  of  temperamental  nicety  he  could  not  en- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    319 

dure  them:  he  was  too  fastidious  to  sip  dirty 
water  when  he  was  passionately  athirst. 

Yes,  evermore  he  must  be  alone :  and  John  was 
pre-eminently  a  social  being:  it  was  a  desolate 
outlook. 

A  hopeless  desperation  seized  him:  his  heart 
was  as  heavy  as  lead:  he  got  up  and  paced  the 
floor  of  his  den — back  and  forth,  back  and  forth 
he  tramped  like  a  trapped  animal ;  in  dull  despair 
he  went  to  the  bookcase  and  stopped  before  the 
shelves  on  which  there  were  two  rows  of  worn 
and  battered  volumes,  long  neglected :  these  were 
his  special  treasures — his  sacred  memorial:  they 
were  the  books  that  he  and  Marion  had  so  often 
read — sitting  under  the  blossoming  boughs  of 
Spring,  under  the  vernal  branches  of  Summer 
and  in  the  dear  old  book-room  of  the  Parsonage. 

He  raised  his  hand,  chose  a  book  by  chance  and 
took  it  down :  it  was  a  quaint  old  volume — a  trans- 
lation from  an  Eastern  philosopher:  he  let  the 
book  open  by  itself,  it  was  as  if  he  were  uncon- 
sciously seeking  some  message  from  the  past:  it 
opened  to  a  marked  passage: 

"In  man's  soul  lies  the  power  of  man — in  man's 
soul  Shines  the  star  of  his  own  destiny !  Strength 
and  serenity  are  the  birthright  of  the  soul :  forti- 
tude is  its  obligation. 

"Woe  unto  the  man  who,  in  a  universe  of 
worlds,  is  fretted  away  by  the  friction  of  his  own 
small  fate!  Arise,  0  man!  Look  up!  See  be- 


820    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

\  yond  the  confines  of  your  own  desires :  be  not  over- 
come by  your  own  despair.  Be  not  a  coward  in 
the  battle  of  life !  Be  a  victorious  Conqueror !" 

As  one  standing  in  great  darkness,  by  a  vivid 
lightning  flash,  sees  in  an  instant  the  wide  land- 
scape and  the  far  horizon  clearly  revealed,  so  to 
John,  in  the  darkness,  flashed  forth  the  truth.  He 
had  not  won  his  birthright:  he  had  not  fulfilled 
his  obligation !  he  had  failed  in  his  high  Destiny : 
he  had  been  a  coward ! — and  alas !  he  had  been  an 
egotist ! 

How  glibly,  in  his  College  days,  he  had  ranted 
against  the  meanness,  the  vulgarity  of  egotism, 
how  eloquently  he  had  urged  the  duty  of  a  gentle- 
man to  forget  himself :  and  what  had  he  been  but  a 
miserable  self-centred  egotist  ?  He  had  concerned 
himself  solely  with  his  own  desires,  he  had  squan- 
dered his  time  and  lost  his  opportunity  in  selfish 
pain.  First — he  had  detested  his  poverty  and 
grumbled  at  his  suffering  because  he  was  poor, 
then  he  had  detested  his  riches  and  grumbled  at 
his  suffering  because  his  riches  had  brought  him 
loss! 

First — he  had  basely  sold  his  love  for  gold — 
his  life  for  livery!  And  when  he  realised  what 
he  had  done  he  had  not  learned  from  that  failure : 
he  had  not  tried  to  fulfil  the  manhood  that  was  left 
within  him  nor  to  redeem  the  past — he  had  but 
gone  from  one  error  to  another  error,  from  one 
unworthy  course  to  another  unworthy  course :  even 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    321 

as  lie  had  sold  the  great  opportunity  of  life  for 
Possessions — so  now  he  was  wasting  the  other 
opportunities  of  life  in  fruitless  fretting  and  im- 
patient regret.  For  seven  months  he  had  been  the 
victim  of  despair,  the  sport  of  depression — kicked 
like  a  football  by  discontent. 

Enough  of  such  cowardice!  Within  are  the 
issues  of  life.  In  his  own  soul  shines  the  star  of 
his  destiny.  He  will  take  hold  of  life  and  make 
of  it  something  even  yet — money  or  no  money ! 

Marion  shall  be  proud  of  him!  Soon  she  shall 
see  in  the  papers  something  else  of  John  Reming- 
ton Wright  than  the  fact  that  he  is  a  well-dressed 
millionaire.  His  old  theory  comes  back  to  him — 
the  theory  which  he  urged  long  ago  with  youthful 
enthusiasm — that  each  man  is  an  artist  and  life 
is  the  plastic  material  in  his  hand  to  mould  for 
good  or  ill.  He  had  thought  in  the  old  days  that 
his  obligation  was  to  mould  material  triumph  out 
of  circumstance;  he  knows  now  his  obligation  is 
to  mould  spiritual  triumph  out  of  pain  and  suf- 
fering. 

In  all  things  let  the  soul  rise !  He  will  no  longer 
sink  in  despair,  dwell  with  depression  and  chafe 
at  personal  pain  and  selfish  sorrow:  he  will  tri- 
umph !  Life  shall  yet  be  vital  and  heroic — in  spite 
of  his  great  mistakes.  He  does  not  need  to  go  to 
the  European  War  to  fight — he  has  a  battle  to 
win  right  here — here  will  be  the  valour  of  contest 
and  here  may  be  the  glory  of  conquest ! 

The  love  in  Ms  heart  is  so  vast,  so  vital  that  it 


must  not  be  unto  disintegration  and  destruction: 
it  carries  its  own  obligation  to  be  a  creative  force 
unto  fruitfulness — unto  productiveness.  He  sees 
that  now  with  sudden  keen  perception. 

John  contemplates  no  enduring  life  but  influ- 
ence :  his  mind  cannot  grasp  the  hope  of  Eternity 
that  Marion  was  wont  to  urge  with  sweet  intensity, 
but  this  one  thing  he  does  believe — he  believes  in 
the  immortality  of  influence:  he  holds  that  any 
man  who  does  not  leave  behind  him  something 
vital  to  strengthen,  to  help  his  fellowmen,  is  a 
craven: — and  he,  John,  has  wilted,  whined,  shiv- 
ered and  cowered  from  pain  like  any  craven  for 
seven  long  months ! 

Now,  by  all  the  powers  of  the  universe,  he  will 
have  done  with  moaning  and  with  moping. 

"Arise,  0  man!"  he  said  aloud — replacing  the 
old  volume  on  the  shelf.  As  he  did  so  he  saw  the 
end  of  a  blue  ribbon  in  a  book  on  the  shelf  below 
— a  shelf  devoted  to  his  well-worn  set  of  Emerson : 
this  time  he  did  not  choose  by  chance :  he  opened 
the  book  at  the  blue  ribbon  and  read  a  passage 
that  Marion  had  marked  long  ago  when  she  placed 
the  ribbon  there ;  he  remembered  the  day,  and  her 
sparkling  look  as  she  said — "John,  that  is  abso- 
lutely true." 

He  read  the  words  aloud : 

"Nothing  can  bring  you  peace  but  yourself. 
Nothing  can  bring  you  peace  but  the  triumph  of 
principles." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    323 

The  triumph  of  principles! — with  your  heart's 
desire — or  without  your  heart's  desire:  the  tri- 
umph of  principles — in  a  shack  where  love  is — or 
in  an  empty  mansion,  as  this  is ! 

John  replaced  the  book  and  passed  his  hand 
tenderly  over  the  backs  of  the  other  books  as  if 
he  were  yearning  for  some  familiar  human  touch : 
and  then  he  went  to  bed.  He  slept  that  night  as 
he  had  not  slept  for  half  a  year. ' 


CHAPTER  XXVin 

JOHN  awoke  refreshed.  Life  was  the  same  of 
course ;  it  could  not  change  in  a  night :  there  came 
with  his  awakening  the  dull  familiar  pain;  the 
sharp  consciousness  of  loss — the  asphyxiating 
sense  of  suffocation  from  the  multitude  of  things 
about  him — and  yet  everything  was  different! 
He  had  a  conscious  thrill  of  adventure  and 
enterprise — something  of  the  thrill  that  long  ago 
he  had  felt  at  Harvard  when  a  race  was  near — a 
race  which  he  intended  to  win!  Notwithstanding 
all,  he  would  yet  make  of  life  something  noble 
and  worth  while — money  or  no  money — pain  or 
no  pain — headaches  or  no  headaches.  He  would 
start  on  the  old  quest  for  the  Ideal:  That  quest 
could  be  pursued  in  the  house  of  splendour  as  on 
the  lonely  farm — even  as  it  could  be  pursued  by 
Marcus  Aurelius  in  his  palace  and  by  Epictetus 
in  his  dungeon.  Though  he  had  forfeited  the  high- 
est and  though  he  had  put  chains  of  gold  upon  his 
feet — though  his  life  had  been  overlaid  by  ma- 
terial things — though  it  had  been  diverted,  for  a 
time,  into  a  false  course,  yet  there  was  still  for 
him  the  quest  of  the  Ideal. 

John  was  given  as  his  birthright  the  adventur- 
ous spirit:  he  had  been  following,  for  a  time,  in 

324 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    325 

the  footpaths  of  conventionality,  but  this  old  ad- 
venturous spirit  reasserted  itself  and  he  knew 
once  more  that  he  must  follow  the  Gleam :  he  had 
a  newborn  consciousness  that  one  does  not  have 
to  go  afield  for  adventure:  great  adventure  may 
be  found  at  one's  door — in  one's  soul. 

As  soon  as  he  had  breakfasted  and  gone  through 
his  large  mail,  selecting  those  letters  which  needed 
immediate  attention  and  dictating  answers,  he  sent 
his  Secretary  down  town  with  some  papers,  and 
told  him  that  after  he  had  delivered  them,  he  need 
not  return — he  might  take  a  holiday. 

John  smiled  as  he  said  to  himself  that  he,  also, 
intended  to  take  a  holiday.  His  dear  old  books 
called  to  him :  it  was  as  though  familiar  presences 
which  he  had  too  long  neglected  were  waiting  for 
him. 

Marcus  Aurelius,  Epictetus,  Emerson  and  many 
others — who  had  patiently  stood  aside  during 
these  two  hectic  years  whilst  John  had  been  too 
busy  to  read,  or  whilst  he  was  reading  fashionable 
current  fiction — turned  their  faithful  old  faces  to- 
ward him,  as  he  entered  his  den. 

To-morrow  he  would  begin  to  work — not  merely 
the  grinding  work  of  the  estate  but  also  some  vig- 
orous mental  work  in  the  forming  of  a  new  plan 
that  had  come  to  him  during  the  night: — but  to- 
day he  would,  as  he  said,  take  a  real  holiday — a  re- 
freshing bath  of  renewal :  he  would  get  back  into 
his  old  tonical  atmosphere  of  preparedness  for  the 
work  he  intended  to  do.  He  chose  from  the  sacred 


326    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

shelves  the  most  worn  volumes  and  settled  him- 
self in  his  favourite  chair  to  read.  He  knew  that 
at  the  Clubs  he  would  be  laughed  to  scorn  for 
going  back  to  his  old-fashioned  friends :  but  in  his 
fierce  fight  to  get  his  head  above  the  dark  waters 
he  needed  true  books  which  have  stood  the  test  of 
ages.  He  felt  that  just  now  he  could  find  no  help 
from  modern  literature — the  clever  books  of  the 
day  with  the  style  of  the  journalist,  the  ethics  of 
the  agnostic,  and  the  philosophy  of  the  pessimist. 
He  opened  his  Marcus  Aurelius  at  a  marked 
passage  and  read: 

"Be  like  the  promontory  against  which  the 
waves  continually  break,  but  it  stands  firm  and 
tames  the  fury  of  the  water  around  it.  Unhappy 
am  I,  because  this  has  happened  to  me?  Not  so, 
but  happy  am  I,  though  this  has  happened  to  me, 
because  I  continue  free  from  pain,  neither  crushed 
by  the  present  nor  fearing  the  future.'* 

Ah !  he  will  be  a  promontory — he  will  no  longer 
be  shifting  sand !  he  will  yield  neither  to  the  low- 
lapping  waves  of  luxury  nor  to  the  high-crested 
waves  of  storm — he  will 

"Hello!  what's  that?" 

Loud  voices  talking  in  the  hall  below!  one  of 
the  voices  was  that  of  the  footman: — a  strange 
lapse!  The  servants  in  the  house  were  all  well- 
trained  servants,  decorous  and  quiet: 

"Stop  where  ye  are!    Ye  shan't  see  a  piece  of 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    327 

him !  not  a  hair  of  his  head,  nor  a  tail  of  his  coat. 
Get  out!  or  I'll  call  the  police  on  ye." 

John  was  amused  at  the  volubility  and  irrita- 
bility of  the  usually  quiet  and  good-tempered  foot- 
man. 

* '  Call  them  from  Hell !  There 's  none  around ! ' ' 
replied  a  gruff  unpleasant  voice. 

"Then  I'll  stop  ye,  meself,"  shouted  the  foot- 
man. 

"You  will,  will  you?" 

Evidently  the  stranger  had  taken  hold  of  the 
footman  for  John  heard  in  a  sharp  falsetto : 

"Let  go  o'  me — let  go!" 

John  went  to  the  head  of  the  stairs  and  called : 

"What's  the  matter,  Furniss!" 

"This  man,  Sir,  says  he's  got  to  see  you,  Sir." 

"Let  him  come  up." 

"0  Mr.  Wright,  Sir — please — Sir — he's — he's 
—0  Sir— don't,  Sir." 

"Let  him  come  up!"  John  commanded. 

He  stepped  back  into  his  den  and  seated  himself 
at  his  desk:  he  heard  shuffling  steps  coming  up 
the  stairs,  and  on  the  instant  a  dread  forecast 
came  to  him,  he  was  conscious  of  an  instinctive 
recoil — he  wished  that  he  had  not  insisted  against 
Furniss'  respectful  protest:  it  was  too  late,  how- 
ever. When  the  man  entered  John  started — even 
though  he  knew  he  had  expected  to  see  him  whom 
he  did  see :  it  was  the  man  with  the  evil  face  and 
the  shifty  bloodshot  eyes. 

He  stood  still  and  stared  impudently  around 


328    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

the  room  as  though  he  were  taking  an  insolent 
inventory  of  every  detail,  and  then  slunk  side- 
ways into  the  chair  indicated  by  John,  who  was 
moved  to  pity  by  the  man's  appearance,  his  gaunt 
and  hungry  look  and  his  ragged  clothes.  Here 
was  an  opportunity  to  make  amends  for  his  in- 
attention and  neglect  of  this  wretched  creature. 
John  bent  his  handsome  head  graciously: 

"What  may  I  do  for  you,  my  Friend!" 

"Your  Friend!"  There  was  a  disagreeable 
sneer  in  the  man's  tone:  "What  rot!  your 
Friend!" 

"Are  you  in  want?"  asked  John  kindly. 

"Am  I  in  want?  I  like  that !  Take  it  from  me, 
I'm  not  at  all  in  want.  I've  got  plenty — plenty  to 
eat — plenty  to  drink — plenty  of  good  clothes — just 
look  at  'em ! ' ' — and  he  pointed  to  his  old  torn  gar- 
ments— "I  am  a  bloated  bondholder  just  like  you, 
my  Fr-ie-nd!" 

The  tone  was  indescribable.  John's  voice  was 
cool  and  quiet: 

"Did  you  come  here  to  be  impertinent!" 

"I  came  here  to  talk  to  you." 

' '  Then  talk  like  a  gentleman ! ' ' 

The  man's  eyes  narrowed;  he  looked  critically 
at  John:  he  could  not  decide  if  he  were  being 
considered  and  advised  or  taunted  and  made  fun 
of — he  a  gentleman! 

"I've  watched  you  a  long  time  coming  and  go- 
ing: and  I've  read  about  you;  the  papers  are  full 
of  you :  they  talk  about  your  money — your  opera 


box — your  automobile  and  your  clothes.  Men  like 
us  hate  men  like  you :  I  HATE  you !  and  I  wanted  to 
see  what  you  look 'like,  close  to." 

He  looked  at  John  and  John  returned  the  gaze. 
The  eyes  of  the  man  were  vindictive,  hostile — the 
eyes  of  John  were  bright  and  whimsical. 

' '  It  strikes  me  as  odd  that  you  do  me  the  honour 
of  a  visit.  Men  as  a  rule  don't  call  on  men  they 
hate." 

The  hostile  look  deepened  in  the  man's  eyes : 

' '  I  tell  you,  I  wanted  to  see  what  the  man  I  hate 
looks  like,  close  to." 

"Well,  you  see — I  am  just  a  man  like  your- 
self." 

'  *  Like  me  f  "  The  man  gave  a  harsh  unpleasant 
laugh:  "Like  me?  the  hell  you  are!  Say,  do  you 
think  life's  fair?  I  put  it  to  you,  you  bloated  mil- 
lion billionaire,  do  you  think  lif e  's  fair  ? ' ' 

"No!"  John  answered  quickly.  "It's  damned 
unfair !  But  I  think  that  when  we  are  in  the  worst 
holes  it  is  our  own  fault." 

He  forgot  the  man — but  the  man  did  not  for- 
get him. 

"Is  it  my  fault  that  I  was  born  in  the  gutter? 
Is  it  my  fault  that  I  am  the  under  dog,  to  sit  here 
and  be  lectured  to  by  you  because  you  was  born 
in  a  bank  and  laid  in  a  gold-bin?" 

John  turned  to  him  with  a  brisk  air: 

'  *  I  am  very  sorry  for  you :  but  your  tone  must 
be  more  civil  or  this  interview  will  come  to  a  short 
end!  I  certainly  have  no  wish  to  lecture  you — I 


330    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

was  thinking,"  he  added  with  characteristic  im- 
pulsive frankness,  "of  my  own  hole — and  of  my 
own  fault." 

"Hold  your  jaw!"  growled  the  man:  "I  don't 
want  none  of  your  guying.  You  in  a  hole ! — with 
all  this!"  he  nodded  toward  the  room  in  an  in- 
solent way : ' '  I  am  starving,  I  tell  you ! ' ' 

"And  are  you  thirsty,  too?"  This  heedless 
thrust  of  John's  was  unfortunate. 

"I'll  drink  as  much  as  I  damn  please!" 

"Certainly," — John  smiled — "you  are  a  free 
man — you  may  drink  yourself  to  blazes  if  you 
choose.  But  I  will  tell  you  what  /  have  learned : 
we  each  have  a  choice  in  life — and  afterwards  we 
have  to  abide  by  the  consequences  of  that  choice." 

John  pulled  open  a  drawer  of  his  desk,  took  out 
a  bill  and  offered  it  to  the  man : 

"Here  is  some  money — to  drink  with  if  you 
choose." 

The  man  looked  at  the  money  with  eager 
eyes,  but  stronger  than  appetite  rose  anger  and 
stronger  than  thirst  flamed  rage:  he  could  in  no 
wise  understand  John's  quizzical  mood.  He 
pushed  John 's  hand  away : 

"I  won't  take  your  money,  damn  you!  I  want 
things  equal!" 

"So  do  I,"  broke  from  John.  "I  wish  to  God 
things  were  equal!" 

These  words,  which  came  as  a  cry  from  John, 
the  wretched  man  in  his  own  desperation  decided 
was  a  mocking  taunt — so  little  do  men  under- 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    331 

stand  each,  other  when  each  cries  out  in  pain 
which  comes  from  differing  causes !  These  words 
coupled  with  John's  whimsical  illusive  smile  were 
the  last  straw :  fury  blazed  into  action :  John  saw 
the  man's  hand  go  quickly  to  his  pocket;  like  a 
flash  he  divined  its  errand,  but  before  he  could 
spring  up  or  cry  aloud — before  he  had  even  for- 
mulated to  himself  what  he  had  divined — he  saw 
a  pistol  pointed  at  his  breast  and  heard  a  click 
and  then  a  loud  report. 

With  a  curious  sharpening  of  perception  which 
comes  in  great  crises,  he  knew  what  had  happened : 
he  saw  the  reflection  of  it  in  the  man 's  face :  first 
the  fierce  look  of  determination,  then  the  over- 
spreading of  a  relaxation  that  comes  from  the  deed 
done.  He  felt  no  pain,  none  whatever,  only  a 
slight  sensation  in  his  breast  as  of  an  electric  prick 
— but  he  knew! 

"He  has  shot  me,"  John  said  quietly — and  his 
head  fell  forward  on  his  desk. 

He  heard,  as  in  a  dream,  Furniss  the  footman, 
Stewart  his  valet  and  the  other  men-servants  rush 
in — he  heard,  as  in  a  dream,  the  scuffle  with  the 
man  as  they  dragged  him  out — he  felt,  as  in  a 
dream,  Stewart  and  some  of  the  women  bending 
over  him  and  loosening  his  clothes,  and  the  kind 
old  housekeeper  trying  to  staunch  the  blood  which 
was  beginning  to  flow :  but  all  the  while  his  mind 
was  feverishly  following  a  train  of  thought,  try- 
ing to  get  hold  of  something  that  evaded  him: 
some  words  were  saying  themselves  over  and  over 


332    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

in  his  mind:  where  had  he  heard  them? — they 
were  so  familiar  that  they  seemed  a  part  of  his 
very  being : 

"We  brought  nothing  into  this  world  and  it  is 
certain  we  can  carry  nothing  out " 

Where  had  he  heard  those  words? — Ah!  he  re- 
members! Yesterday — the  funeral — they  had 
rung  through  the  great  church  startling  his  con- 
sciousness to  an  awakened  recollection  of  another 
time  when  they  had  burned  themselves  into  his 
memory :  that  other  time  had  been  four  years  ago 
in  the  old  farm  house  at  Elmcroft:  then  he  had 
stood  at  the  foot  of  the  long  black  box  which  held 
all  that  was  mortal  of  his  father,  and  Dr.  Mere- 
dith had  solemnly  said  the  words  in  a  way  that 
made  them,  thereafter,  unforgettable : 

"We  brought  nothing  into  this  world  and  it  is 
certain  we  can  carry  nothing  out. ' ' 

Yesterday  the  echo  of  them  had  sprung  from 
John's  brain  where  they  had  been  annealed  four 
years  before:  and  with  them  had  sprung  new 
thoughts  which  were  insistently  repeating  them- 
selves now  in  this  dreamlike  confusion. 

What  had  his  father  to  carry  with  him  as  he 
went  out  into  the  dark?  Poverty  and  paralysis 
had  been  his  earthly  portion:  Kenneth  Vande- 
veer's  portion  had  been  a  vital  life  full  of  vigour, 
up  to  the  moment  when  the  motor  had  gone  over 
the  cliff — great  wealth  and  powerful  position :  and 
yet^-it  was  also  certain  that  he  could  carry  noth- 
ing out  of  this  world. 


The  same  words  had  rung  with  convincing  truth 
through  the  little  room  of  the  humble  farm  house, 
and  through  the  lofty  arches  of  the  stately  church : 
the  same  truth  had  been  attested  for  the  infirm 
farmer,  poor  and  weighted  with  suffering,  and  for 
the  prosperous  millionaire  cut  off  in  the  full  flush 
of  life: 

"We  brought  nothing  into  this  world  and  it  is 
certain  we  can  carry  nothing  out." 

Ah !  then  what  difference  does  it  make  what  one 
has,  what  one  is  denied,  or  what  one  suffers?  It 
is  all  of  such  very  small  account — wealth — power 
— success — poverty — failure — suffering — joy :  in 
the  end  there  is  no  difference! — no  difference  be- 
tween the  penniless  paralytic  and  the  magnificent 
millionaire:  between  the  happy  husband  and  the 
lonely  desolate  man:  each  is  folded  in  a  narrow 
inexorable  box  with  empty  hands  and  left  to  turn 
to  dust  and  ashes — for  "we  brought  nothing  into 
this  world  and  it  is  certain  "—it  is  certain — "we 
can  carry" — we  can  carry — "nothing" — nothing 
— nothing — then  his  brain  stopped  working,  and 
oblivion  engulfed  him. 


CHAPTER  XXIX 

"How  was  the  dinner  last  week,  Grace?  I 
haven't  seen  you  since,"  said  Mrs.  Morgan. 

i 'Of  course  you  mean  John  Wright's  dinner  to 
Sally  and  Pelhamf" 

Mrs.  Morgan  nodded. 

"It  was  perfectly  beautiful!" 

"Do  tell  us  about  it,"  exclaimed  Mrs.  de 
Lancey. 

The  three  women  were  seated  in  Mrs.  Barkley's 
cozy  library:  they  had  drawn  around  the  bright 
wood  fire  which  was  grateful  in  the  first  cold  snap 
of  October,  before  the  furnace  was  lighted. 

"It  really  was  the  loveliest  dinner  I  ever  saw." 
Mrs.  Barkley  spoke  with  enthusiasm.  ' '  The  flow- 
ers were  princely — the  music  was  ravishing — and 
Sally  looked  a  dream ! ' ' 

"I  met  that  pretty  Marvin  girl  this  morning," 
said  Mrs.  de  Lancey,  "and  she  told  me  that  Mrs. 
Barkley  looked  like  a  queen. ' ' 

Grace  Barkley  smiled  her  thanks: 

"I  wore  my  oriental  toggery,  the  Maharajah 
jewels :  they  always  please  young  girls.  I  was  the 
chaperon,  you  know.  It  was  a  dinner  of  forty — 
Robert  and  I  were  the  only  married  couple  there. 
I  was  supposed  to  give  a  matronly  air  to  the  ooca- 

334 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    335 

sion,  but,  I  assure  you,  I  felt  years  younger — I 
AM  years  younger — than  the  two  Vinton  girls  with 
their  blase  manner  and  their  bored  and  languid 
airs.  What  Sally  is  going  to  do  with  those  two 
girls,  the  little  god  of  love  alone  knows ! ' ' 

" Thank  Heaven,"  said  Mrs.  de  Lancey,  "one 
doesn't  have  to  marry  one's  sisters-in-law." 

* '  The  saints  preserve  Sally  if  they  did ! ' '  cried 
Grace  Barkley.  "Pelham  is  as  different  from  his 
sisters  as  a  live  wire  is  different  from  a  wire  that 
is  burnt  out." 

"Go  on  about  the  dinner,  Grace ! ' '  begged  Mrs. 
Morgan. 

"As  I  said,  the  music  was  enchanting — the 
house  was  a  bower  and  Sally  looked  a  dream " 

"She  has  looked  lovely  this  summer,"  inter- 
rupted Mrs.  Morgan.  "I  saw  her  at  Newport :  the 
new  mode  of  arranging  the  hair  is  very  becoming 
to  her." 

'  *  Nonsense !  Pelham  Vinton  is  becoming  to  her, 
that's  what  it  is!"  said  Mrs.  Barkley  brightly;  "I 
didn't  see  her  all  summer.  You  know  she  went 
away  directly  after  the  engagement  was  an- 
nounced and  she  only  came  back  to  town  in  time 
for  John's  dinner:  she  has  grown  really  beauti- 
ful!" 

"How  does  Ted  take  it?"  asked  Mrs.  Morgan 
eagerly. 

' '  Ted ! ' '  echoed  Mrs,  Barkley,  surprised.  ' '  Why, 
Ted  is  delighted,  of  course :  every  one  is ;  it  is  a 


336    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

splendid  match:  Ted  made  just  the  dearest  and 
wittiest  speech  I  ever  heard,  at  the  dinner." 

"I  thought  he  was  in  love  with  Sally,"  Mrs. 
Morgan  ventured. 

* '  He  is ! "  responded  Mrs.  Barkley  gaily.  ' '  Ted 
is  in  love  with  every  pretty  girl  in  New  York :  he 
calls  Sally  his  best  Cabinet  girl." 

"  'Cabinet  girl?'  "  Mrs.  Morgan  looked  mysti- 
fied. 

"Yes,  Ted  has  about  twenty  girls  whom  he  says 
he  keeps  in  the  Cabinet  of  his  heart  because  they 
are  such  choice,  rare  specimens :  he  says  he  often 
takes  them  out,  and  looks  at  them  one  after  an- 
other and  their  loveliness  makes  his  mouth  water; 
he  has  always  told  Sally  that  she  was  on  the  first 
shelf,  in  the  front  row:  he  and  she  are  awfully 
good  friends — they  have  known  each  other  since 
they  went  to  kindergarten  together." 

"It's  great  fun  to  see  them  together,"  said  Mrs. 
de  Lancey,  "they  are  both  so  amusing!" 

1 '  Aren  't  they  ? ' '  responded  Mrs.  Barkley.  ' '  And 
they  were  screamingly  funny  at  the  dinner:  Ted 
assumed  the  mock  air  of  an  old  grandfather:  he 
maintained  an  attitude  toward  Pelham — who  is 
six  years  older  than  Ted — as  though  Pelham 
were  a  dangerous  and  giddy  youth  taking  his  fa- 
vourite granddaughter  away  from  him.  Ted  was 
too  funny!" 

"Why  hasn't  Ameda  Winthrop  come  home 
yet?"  asked  Mrs.  Morgan,  apropos  of  nothing. 

"Yes,  why  hasn't  she?"  echoed  Florence  de 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    337 

Lancey,  "I  thought  she  intended  to  be  gone  only 
a  month." 

"Why,  oh,  why?"  Grace  Barkley  threw  out  her 
hands  in  a  dramatic  way — the  lace  fell  back  from 
the  sleeves  of  her  fascinating  tea  gown,  showing 
her  lovely  arms :  she  made  an  amusing  little  ges- 
ture and  chanted,  apparently  irrelevantly : 

' '  There  once  was  a  siren  whose  smile 
To  her  net  every  man  did  beguile, 

But  when  one  man  climbed  out, 

She  went  off — in  a  pout — 
To  the  far  away  West  for  awhile." 

"Which  means?"  said  Mrs.  de  Lancey. 

"Which  means,"  laughed  Grace  Barkley,  "that 
I  am  cultivating  the  trick  of  limericking  to  please 
Bobs.  When  I  put  him  to  sleep  he  always  begs 
for  one:  he  says:  'Muwer,  say  some  more  of 
those  wingly-jingly  wowds  that  sound  so  jolly.'  I 
wish  you  to  know,  mesdames,  that  my  son,  at  least, 
recognises  me  as  a  poet.  Shall  I  tell  you  a  beau- 
tiful limerick  that  I  made  for  bim  the  other  night 
about  the  stars?  Eobert  quite  liked  it." 

"Not  now!"  protested  Mrs.  de  Lancey:  "Keep 
to  the  point :  you  are  exactly  like  Congress,  Grace, 
you  are  always  trying  to  divert  the  issue.  What 
did  you  mean  by  that  limerick?  I  want  to  know  its 
esoteric  meaning. ' ' 

The  playfulness  left  Grace  Barkley :  she  became 
frankly  serious: 

"I  will  tell  you  what  I  mean,  although  you  know 


338    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

perfectly  well.  That  affair  between  John  Wright 
and  Ameda  Winthrop  is  broken  off  and  I  am  ex- 
ceedingly glad:  John  Wright  is  not  a  man  to  be 
in  Ameda  Winthrop 's  net. ' ' 

"John  Wright  can  take  care  of  himself,  I 
fancy ! ' '  said  Mrs.  Morgan. 

"Undoubtedly;  he  has  proved  it,"  Mrs.  Barkley 
assented.  "But  I  sometimes  feared  his  care-tak- 
ing might  delay  too  long.  I  am  glad  that  he  came 
to  his  own  rescue  before  it  was  too  late.  He  is 
young  and — with  all  his  suavity  and  aplomb — he 
is  an  idealist." 

"John  Wright  an  idealist?"  exclaimed  Mrs. 
Morgan. 

"Certainly,  he  has  the  temperament  and  the 
heart :  naturally  he  has  been  carried  away  by  his 
phenomenal  success  in  New  York:  but  by  nature 
he  is  primitive " 

"He  is  the  last  person  I  should  call  primitive: 
he  is  so  awfully  clever,"  interrupted  Mrs.  Mor- 
gan. 

"The  more  clever  the  man  of  a  certain  tem- 
perament, the  more  primitive  he  is  apt  to  be  in 
all  matters  involving  the  emotions." 

"That  is  true,"  assented  Mrs.  de  Lancey,  "es- 
pecially if  he  has  lived  close  to  nature  and  books 
up  to  a  certain  age." 

"When  he  first  came  to  New  York  Ameda 
Winthrop  was  very  kind  to  him,"  Mrs.  Barkley 
raised  her  eye-brows,  *  *  and  he  put  her  on  a  pedes- 
tal: alas!  she  didn't  belong  there." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    339 

"Not  much!"  ejaculated  Mrs.  de  Lancey. 

"She  didn't  help  him  in  any  way,"  continued 
Mrs.  Barkley. 

"Help  him!  I  should  think  not!"  Mrs.  de 
Lancey  spoke  severely:  "Did  Ameda  Winthrop 
ever  help  any  one  on  earth  but  herself?" 

"Why  did  you  let  the  affair  run  on  so  long, 
Grace?"  asked  Mrs.  Morgan:  "You  knew  per- 
fectly well  what  Ameda  Winthrop  is,  it  was  for 
you  to  warn  him — he  is  so  intimate  here." 

"What  could  I  do?  Of  course  I  owe  nothing 
to  Ameda  Winthrop,  nothing  whatever:  I  have 
never  liked  her  nor  approved  of  her — but  one 
doesn't  give  another  woman  away.  And  I  really 
was  not  anxious  for  I  knew  John:  I  knew  his 
fundamental  character  from  Ted — and  Robert 
says  that  I  have  keen  insight :  I  felt  it  was  merely 
a  matter  of  time  when  he  would  see  through  the 
veil." 

"How  do  you  know  that  he  has  really  seen 
through  it  now?"  asked  Mrs.  Morgan. 

"It  is  obvious.  John  did  not  go  West  with  the 
Winthrop  party  although  Ameda  had  set  her  heart 
on  it  and  had  told  every  one  that  he  was  going.  I 
suspected  that  the  affair  had  collapsed  the  day  of 
Mrs.  Bailey's  luncheon.  That  Boston  woman  vis- 
iting there  was  enthusing  over  John,  and  Ameda 
said  in  a  tone  as  neutral  as  America,  'Really?  I 
have  never  noticed  Mr.  Wright  especially.'  Just 
fancy ! ' ' 

"Did  she?"  both  women  exclaimed. 


340    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

1 '  She  did  indeed !  Then  when  John  gave  up  the 
Western  trip  I  saw  the  end  had  come." 

"Perhaps  Ameda  got  tired  of  him,"  suggested 
Mrs.  Morgan. 

' '  Not  much !  No  woman  could  get  tired  of  John 
Wright :  he  is  too  clever  and  too  unusual  I ' ' 

"That  is  an  admission,  Grace." 

"It  is  an  admission  that  he  is  one  of  the  most 
interesting  men  I  ever  met:  Eobert  thinks  so,  too, 
and  as  for  Ted,  he  is  daft  about  him  and  always 
has  been :  when  he  first  met  him  at  Harvard,  Ted 
wrote  home  that  he  had  found  'a  four-leaf  clover 
of  a  fellow.'  " 

"But  Mr.  Wright  has  looked  troubled  lately, 
don't  you  think  so?"  said  Mrs.  Morgan. 

Mrs.  de  Lancey  considered: 

' '  Not  troubled  so  much  as  ill :  I  think  it  is  physi- 
cal: I  am  sure  he  is  not  well." 

Mrs.  Barkley  turned  quickly: 

"You  are  right,  Florence !  He  is  not  well.  Ted 
is  dreadfully  worried  about  him:  he  says  that 
John  ought  to  see  a  doctor  but  he  won't:  Ted  says 
he  doesn't  know  how  to  be  ill." 

"You  don't  think  it  is  anything  serious,  do 
you?"  There  was  anxiety  in  Mrs.  de  Lancey 's 
tone:  she  had  grown  very  fond  of  John. 

"Not  at  all !  But  it  is  painful — he  has  had  con- 
stant neuralgia  for  months,  Ted  says,  and  it  has 
gotten  on  his  nerves :  he  never  had  a  headache  in 
his  life  before,  nor  a  toothache,  nor  any  kind  of 
an  ache." 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    341 

"Fancy!"  said  Mrs.  de  Lancey :  "I  can  scarcely 
remember  the  time  when  I  didn't  have  neuralgia: 
I  wonder  what  he  would  do  if  he  had  a  few  of  my 
lively  headaches?" 

Mrs.  Barkley  shrugged  her  shoulders  noncha- 
lantly : 

""What  would  any  man  do  if  he  had  to  bear  the 
aches  and  pains  which  we  women  smilingly  deny 
every  day  of  our  lives?  I  can  deceive  the  very 
elect — which  means  Eobert — Bobs  is  the  only  one 
whom  I  can't  deceive:  when  I  protest  that  I  am 
feeling  fit  and  fine  Bobs  comes  up  to  me,  puts  his 
little  hand  on  my  head  and  says : '  Muwer  darling, 
you're  just  pwetending.  I  see  the  pain  in  the 
back  of  your  eyes. '  ' ' 

"How  is  the  dear  Bobs?"  asked  Mrs.  de  Lancey. 

"The  trouble  with  John  Wright  is,"  Grace 
Barkley  went  on,  unheeding  Mrs.  de  Lancey 's 
question,  "he  needs  a  rest  but  he  never  stays  away 
long  enough  to  get  the  good  of  the  change:  Ted 
wanted  him  to  stay  in  the  Adirondacks  but  he 
couldn't,  he  was  in  the  city  practically  all  sum- 
mer." 

"I  know,"  said  Mrs.  Morgan.  "I  asked  him 
several  times  to  come  out  to  Cedarwood  but  he 
couldn't  come." 

Grace  Barkley  frowned : 

"If  I  ever  get  to  Heaven  and  old  John  Reming- 
ton happens  to  be  there,  I  will  give  him  a  piece 
of  my  mind !  You  know  the  conditions  of  the  will 
keep  John  in  town,  most  of  the  time :  he  can't  stay 


342    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

away  long  enough  to  get  any  real  benefit :  and  he 
fairly  worships  the  country ! ' ' 

"Grace,  I  have  asked  you  twice,"  said  Mrs.  de 
Lancey,  * '  and  you  haven 't  told  me.  How  is  Bohs  ? 
— and  Betty?"  she  added  as  an  after-thought. 

"They  are  both  splendidly  well,  thank  you. 
Betty  is  growing  fast.  Ted  simply  ruins  her :  he 
laughs  at  everything  she  does  no  matter  how 
naughty  it  is:  she  twists  Ted  around  her  little 
finger:  and  her  father  indulges  her  much  more 
than  he  ever  indulged  Bobs.  She  is  getting  to  be 
a  tiny  tyrant:  she  is  developing  a  most  impish 
independence  and  the  spunkiest  temper:  Bobs 
came  to  me  the  other  day  and  said  quite  anxiously, 
'Muwer,  don't  you  think  that  Betty  is  getting  to 
be  a  little — just  a  little — like  the  Kaiser?'  " 

There  was  a  respectful  knock  at  the  door. 

"Come  in,"  called  Mrs.  Barkley:  the  footman 
entered  and  announced  in  apologetic  tones : 

"Beg  pardon,  Madam  is  wanted  on  the  tele- 
phone." 

"Who  is  it,  Perkins?" 

"I  can't  say,  Madam." 

"Tell  them  that  I  am  engaged:  I  will  talk 
later." 

Perkins  made  a  deprecating  gesture. 

"I  told  the  party  that  Madam  was  engaged  but 
they  said  as  how  it  was  important  to  speak  with 
Madam  personally." 

"How  maddening!  I  might  as  well  go  first  as 
last. ' '  Grace  Barkley  pushed  back  her  chair :  "  If 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    343 

you  will  excuse  me :  it  is  really  more  interrupting 
to  have  Perkins  trotting  back  and  forth  than  it 
is  to  go  and  end  the  matter:  if  one  doesn't  go, 
some  persons  keep  up  a  bombardment  of  ambigu- 
ous messages :  it  is  easier  to  speak  and  have  done 
with  it. ' '  She  gave  a  little  start  of  remembrance, 
' '  Oh,  I  know !  It  is  Madame,  to  ask  about  my  new 
gown:  Fifine  brought  me  a  message  early  this 
morning  that  there  was  some  hitch  about  the  sil- 
ver tissue — I  should  have  answered  before." 

Grace  Barkley  turned  at  the  door  and  called 
back  bewitchingly : 

"Now,  please  don't  either  of  you  say  anything 
interesting  or  witty  until  I  come  back.  I  don't 
want  to  miss  anything." 

The  picture  of  her  laughing  loveliness,  her 
bright  rosy  colour  and  her  sparkling  eyes  was  in 
the  memory  of  the  two  women,  when,  five  minutes 
later,  she  returned  and  stood  before  them,  her 
pale  face  drawn  and  twitching — her  eyes  haunted 
with  horror. 

"0  Grace!    What  is  it?"  they  both  exclaimed. 

She  put  out  her  hand  in  a  groping  way  against 
the  bookcase  for  support. 

"It  is  John  Wright — he  has  been  SHOT!" 

1  *  SHOT  ? ' ' — The  horror  spread.  The  shock  was 
too  real  for  questions:  Mrs.  de  Lancey  went  to 
her  and  laid  a  tender  persuasive  hand  on  her  arm : 

"Sit  down,  Grace." 

"No — no — wait — I  will  tell  you  all  I  know— it 
was  Robert  on  the  phone — he  told  Perkins  on  no 


344    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

account  to  tell  me  it  was  lie :  John  was  shot  about 
two  hours  ago — by  a  crazy  crank — he  is  still  alive, 
but  unconscious :  the  housekeeper  sent  at  once  to 
the  office  for  Ted  and  Eobert :  they  are  both  there 
now :  Eobert  called  me  just  as  soon  as  he  possibly 
could — Oh,  hark!  There's  Bobbie,  coming  down 
the  stairs:  please  stop  him — somebody — tell  him 
something — anything — but  don't  let  him  come 
near  me  until  I  can  pull  myself  together :  he  loves 
John  so!  Oh,  hurry!" 

"I'll  go,"  said  Mrs.  de  Lancey;  "I'll  make  him 
take  me  up-stairs  to  see  Betty." 

"Thank  you,"  and  Mrs.  Barkley  sank  into  a 
chair. 

Mrs.  Morgan  rose  and  began  to  put  on  her  furs : 
Grace  Barkley  was  devoutly  thankful  that  she 
was  moved  to  go  home,  she  longed  to  be  alone. 

"Now,  Grace,  don't  worry — it  will  be  all  right — 
John  will  get  over  it."  Mrs.  Morgan  talked  on, 
as  she  was  carefully  adjusting  and  arranging  her 
wraps:  "I  know  a  man  who  had  five  bullets  fired 
into  him:  it  was  a  little  mistake  in  hunting — his 
friend  took  him  for  a  deer — such  a  stupid  thing 
to  do! — but  he  got  entirely  well  and  is  now  as 
strong  and  vigorous  as  ever." 

Grace  Barkley  did  not  hear  her:  her  thoughts 
were  in  the  Eemington  house — where  she  had 
passed  so  many  gay  and  happy  hours — keeping 
vigil  with  her  husband  and  her  brother  beside  her 
friend.  Moreover,  she  had  a  swift  realisation  of 
the  perpetual  tragedy  of  the  world — that  fateful 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    345 

shadow  which  is  ever  hovering  above  the  gayest 
and  the  happiest  to  fall  like  a  bolt  at  some  unex- 
pected moment — 
"0  God,  it  might  have  been  Robert!" 


CHAPTER  XXX 

ON  the  border  of  Elmcroft,  between  the  village 
and  the  adjoining  town,  Marion  had  rented  a  little 
cottage.  It  was  white,  vine-embowered,  pictur- 
esque, and  surrounded  by  wide-spreading.trees. 

Back  of  the  cottage  was  an  old-time  garden: 
there  through  the  summer  had  blossomed  roses, 
spicy  pinks,  larkspur,  snowballs,  mignonette  and 
heliotrope,  and  all  the  dear  old-fashioned  flowers 
of  remembrance.  Marion  had  brought  some  slips 
from  the  garden  of  the  Parsonage  and  these  she 
tended  with  solicitude  in  a  special  little  patch 
which  she  called  her  Home-garden. 

She  had  grown  to  love  the  cottage  where  she 
lived,  worked  and  battled  with  her  memories. 
The  school  life  she  had  also  grown  to  love;  she 
felt  the  sense  of  accomplishment  which  is  both  a 
tonic  and  a  stimulus. 

To  the  bright  cosey  cottage,  unhampered  by 
convention,  her  friends  came  to  find,  in  the  tiny 
home,  a  spacious  quality,  an  atmosphere  rare  in 
Elmcroft — rare  in  the  world.  Simplicity,  inde- 
pendence and  unconventionality,  austere  study 
and  exquisite  refinement,  made  the  place  unusually 
delightful. 

In  the  largest  room  of  the  cottage  on  the  first 

346 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    347 

floor,  Marion  had  put  her  father's  books  on  plain, 
shelves  which  reached  to  the  ceiling:  the  walls 
were  literally  covered  with  the  well-worn  homey- 
looking,  theological  and  scholarly  books. 

Old  Alice — who  had  received  Marion  into  her 
arms  at  her  birth,  and  who  had  interpreted  the 
look  in  the  dying  eyes  of  the  Parson's  wife  as  a 
charge  to  watch  over  the  motherless  child — had 
come  back  to  Marion  when  she  made  her  new 
home.  With  passionate  love  Alice  was  determined 
that  her  "bonnie  lass"  should  not  miss  any  more 
than  could  be  avoided  of  the  external  things  that 
had  formerly  made  her  life. 

She  studied  Marion's  comfort  with  the  zeal  and 
zest  of  staunch  affection  and  made  bright  little 
feasts  when  guests  came  to  the  cottage,  serving 
toothsome  and  delicious  home-dainties  that  no 
one  could  make  as  she  did. 

She  had  brought  from  her  Scottish  home  a  ven- 
eration for  intellect :  and  her  respect  for  Marion 
increased  as  she  watched  her  moving  in  the  world 
of  books:  hitherto,  her  bearing  toward  Marion 
had  been  motherly — as  though  Marion  were  still 
the  baby  whom  she  had  so  tenderly  nursed:  but 
now  a  shade  of  the  veneration  which  she  had 
always  held  toward  Dr.  Meredith  came  into  her 
attitude  toward  this  earnest,  studious  girl,  who 
pondered  long  hours  over  those  solemn  and  re- 
spectable tomes  that  had  belonged  to  the  Parson. 

When  Marion  sat  intent  upon  some  yellowed 
page  of  an  ol(J  volume,  Alice  would  move  softly, 


348    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

lay  fresh  wood  on  the  fire,  light  the  lamp  if  need 
be,  all  the  while  looking  at  Marion  with  humble 
homage  in  her  faded  eyes.  But  when  Marion  be- 
came the  reckless  girl  again,  then  straightway 
Alice  was  again  'a  regular  old  tyrant,'  as  Marion 
called  her,  caressing  the  hard  and  knotty  hand. 

Marion  had  begun  to  be  happy  once  more — in 
spite  of  her  loneliness.  Something  of  the  glad 
throb  of  life  had  begun  to  stir  again  beneath  her 
pain :  it  was  the  happiness  which  inevitably  comes 
from  any  earnest  interest  and  eager  service  for 
others. 

Her  life  was  growing  every  day  more  interested 
and  more  interesting,  more  touched  with  colour 
as  she  merged  her  personal  life  in  the  work  of  the 
world :  she  felt  the  joy  of  the  creator  as  she  took 
plastic  young  minds  in  her  hands  to  shape  them 
for  the  future — she  felt  that  she  was  making  his- 
tory in  training  the  mothers  of  men. 

"I  will  never  marry,'*  she  constantly  said  to 
herself:  "I  shall  never  be  a  mother,  but  I  can  do 
the  larger  work  of  motherhood,  in  passing  on  the 
torch  to  the  next  generation.  I  shall  have  thou- 
sands of  children,  instead  of  three  or  four,  and 
perhaps  I  can  do  something  for  the  race !  Oh,  the 
joy  of  sowing  seeds  that  will  spring  up  when  I 
am  gone ! ' '  Thereupon,  Marion,  in  a  rush  of  rap- 
ture and  exhilaration,  would  fling  her  arms  wide 
to  the  sky  and  feel  the  thrill  of  creative  power 
pass  through  her. 

Her  loneliness  was  her  opportunity:  she  threw 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    349 

herself  into  her  task  with  an  enthusiasm  that  kin- 
dled her  to  a  quicker  life :  she  took  her  inspiration 
and  her  revelation  with  a  spontaneous  youthful 
abandon,  as  other  girls  take  their  pleasure:  she 
was  ardent,  young,  eager,  adventurous  of  spirit— 
and  the  overcoming  of  despair,  the  victory  over 
sorrow  had,  to  her,  the  dauntless  quality  of  a 
brave  adventure. 

Her  work  did  not  lie  in  the  schoolroom  alone: 
she  was  a  great  favourite  with  the  girls ;  they  came 
quickly  in  touch  with  her  and  felt  in  her  a  vital 
comprehension,  a  living  sympathy:  therefore, 
during  the  summer  when  the  school  was  closed 
they  had  brought  their  secrets,  their  joys  and 
their  sorrows  to  the  little  cottage  and  poured  them 
into  her  willing  ear ;  Marion  sympathetically  lived 
their  lives  with  them. 

In  this  way  new  life  came  to  her  own  soul — new 
strength  to  enable  her  to  make  of  her  own  past 
joys  an  altar  of  remembrance  and  of  inspiration. 
This  does  not  mean  that  she  was  free  from  hours 
of  desolation,  when  the  world  was  black  and  her 
soul  stood  grey  in  the  shadow:  but  Marion  was 
made  of  the  stuff  that  must  either  sink  in  despair 
or  rise  on  wings — and  she  had  risen! 

She  knew  the  glory  of  life  to  be  apart  from  the 
limitation  or  the  measure  of  the  personal  life: 
moreover,  she  had  the  great  dower  which  ever 
spread  for  her  a  miraculous  feast  of  refreshment 
— she  loved  Nature !  She  had  with  Nature  a  living 
bond :  she  knew  Her  in  all  Her  moods :  she  loved 


350    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

the  freshness  of  the  early  morning  and  she  loved 
the  mystic  spell  of  the  twilight  shadows :  she  rev- 
elled in  the  sparkle  of  the  sunshine  and  she  rev- 
elled equally  in  the  cool  dash  of  the  rain:  she 
would  hasten  out  into  a  down-pour,  throw  back 
her  head,  turn  her  face  towards  the  sky  and  let 
the  rain  splash  upon  her  hair,  her  cheeks  and  her 
body:  old  Alice  was  then  in  despair: 

"Miss  Marion,  Miss  Marion,  child,"  she  would 
protest,  " don't  do  them  rash  and  foolish  things 
with  yourself — going  out  into  the  rain  with  no 
umbrella  or  no  rubbers !  My,  my,  whatever  shall 
Idol" 

"  'Are  ye  out  of  your  mind,  0  Alice  my 
nurse?'  "  Marion  mocked  her  laughingly. 

' '  Out  of  my  mind !  Indeed  and  I  wish  you  had 
as  good  a  use  of  your  wits  as  I  have  of  mine." 

"Then  be  sensible  about  the  rain — "  and 
Marion  would  give  her  an  affectionate  little 
shake:  "the  rain  gives  me  new  life,  how  can  it 
hurt  me? — doesn't  it  come  straight  from  the 
sky?" 

"No,  it  don't  come  from  the  sky,  Miss  Marion; 
what  a  foolish  notion:  it  comes  from  the  horrid 
black  clouds  that  shut  out  the  sky,  and  it's  such  a 
very  wet  rain. ' ' 

This  conversation  took  place  with  the  frequency 
of  the  coming  of  storms :  Marion  would  end  it  by 
running  out  to  the  woods  fragrant  with  wet  bal- 
sam odours  and  glistening  with  raindrops — to 
play  with  Pan. 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    351 

Men  say  that  Pan  is  dead  but  Marion  knew  that 
Pan  is  still  alive:  she  always  found  him  in  the 
woods,  in  sunshine  and  in  storm,  ready  to  play 
with  her  and  to  pipe  his  music  for  her  dancing. 

Older  and  wiser  ones  than  Marion  have  testified 
to  the  re-birth  that  comes  to  an  unspoiled  nature 
in  the  woods.  There  Marion's  troubles  fell  from 
her  and  she  was  again  a  free-hearted  child. 

With  all  her  soaring,  Marion  was  domestic  and 
human :  she  loved  the  heights,  but  she  loved  human 
hearth-fires  as  well  and  she  sorely  missed  them: 
the  severing  of  the  beautiful  companionship  with 
her  father  had  left  her  with  an  abiding  sorrow,  an 
aching  void. 

And  John? — Ah!  it  were  best  not  to  think  of 
John !  But  when  she  was  in  the  woods — she  found 
mystic  secrets  there  which  comforted  her,  brought 
her  new  life  and  new  strength.  She  would  come 
back  to  the  cottage  glad  of  heart. 

As  she  moved  in  and  out  of  her  low  white  door- 
way in  her  simple  muslin  with  her  golden  crown 
of  braids  upon  her  small  proud  head,  she  was  good 
to  look  at.  She  had  grown  more  lovely  in  these 
two  years — the  shadows  that  lingered  in  her  eyes 
gave  a  touch  of  pathos  to  her  loveliness  like 
minor  music. 

It  was  a  beautiful  day:  Marion's  lesson-hours 
were  in  the  afternoon,  she  did  not  have  to  be  at 
school  until  noon:  she  had,  therefore,  taken  a 
morning  hour  in  the  woods— changing,  under  the 


352    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

touch  of  autumn,  from  green  to  gold:  the  leaves 
were  gay  with  colour,  the  bloom  of  hardihood 
and  opulence  had  taken  the  place  of  the  dainty 
fragile  summer  flowers :  the  snap  of  life  and  tonic 
was  in  the  air  and  the  sky  was  blue  with  the  vivid 
blue  of  the  autumn:  brilliant  goldenrod  fringed 
the  border  of  the  woods  and  belated  Michaelmas 
daisies  gave  a  deeper  beauty  to  the  grass.  As 
Marion  ran  in,  fresh  and  sparkling  after  her 
happy  hour,  old  Alice  handed  her  the  papers  and 
her  mail.  Marion  threw  down  the  mail  and 
eagerly  opened  one  of  the  New  York  papers.  She 
had  lived  a  thousand  lives  and  died  a  thousand 
deaths  since  that  fateful  day  in  August  when  the 
incredible  War  was  declared,  to  stagger  and  dis- 
hearten those  who — like  Marion — were  constantly 
working  for  World-peace. 

Marion's  mind  was  of  the  International  type: 
she  shared  the  tragic  events  across  the  water;  she 
was  watching  with  the  women :  she  was  following 
the  marches  of  the  men  and  living  with  them  in 
the  trenches.  Day  after  day  she  studied  the 
problems  confronting  the  various  governments, 
and  read  with  eager  interest  the  speeches  of  the 
various  statesmen  in  England,  France  and  Ger- 
many. She  was  keenly  eager  to  know  each  hour 's 
report. 

Alice  had  hurried  away,  after  handing  her  the 
mail;  Marion  was  alone:  quickly  she  opened  the 
paper  to  look  for  the  war  news:  as  she  did  so, 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    353 

some  flaming  headlines  caught  her  eye;  she  ut- 
tered a  low  cry.    This  is  what  she  read : 


. . 


'John  Kemington  Wright,  the  well-known 
multimillionaire,  was  shot  yesterday  at  his  resi- 
dence. His  condition  is  serious." 

Then  followed  an  account  of  the  shooting,  of 
the  man  who  had  been  shot,  and  of  the  man  who 
had  done  the  deed,  with  many  sensational  de- 
tails. 

Marion  read  the  ghastly  account  to  the  end ;  the 
paper  fell  from  her  hand:  she  laid  her  head 
against  her  chair  and  the  room  seemed  to  spin  in 
space:  desperately  she  fought  back  the  waves  of 
faintness  which  threatened  her. 

"Land  o'  mercy  sakes,  Miss  Marion,  what's  the 
matter?"  Alice  stood  in  the  doorway:  Marion 
told  her  briefly. 

"Well,  I'm  dead  beat  between  you  two:  you 
f aintin '  in  the  sittin  '-room  and  Eben  chatterin '  in 
the  kitchen,  as  white  as  the  table-cloth." 

"Eben? — Here? — "  Marion  roused  quickly: 
' '  Send  him  to  me  at  once. ' ' 

"Now,  sit  still,  child,  you  ain't  fit  to  see  no 
one." 

"Don't  waste  time,  Alice!  Send  Eben  to  me 
at  once.11 

When  Marion  spoke  in  that  tone  Alice  knew 
enough  to  obey.  Site  went  back  to  the  kitchen 


354    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

where  Eben  was  walking  up  and  down  like  a  caged 
lion. 

"She  ain't  ought  to  see  you,  but  come  along." 

When  Eben  saw  Marion's  pale  face,  white  lips 
and  the  open  paper  on  the  floor,  he  jerked  his  big 
thumb  towards  the  paper: 

"You know,  then?" 

"Yes.  0  Eben — "  Marion  reached  out  her  hand 
to  Eben:  he  took  it  awkwardly — "have  you  heard 
anything  more  ? ' ' 

Eben  found  a  crumpled  telegram  in  his  pocket 
and  smoothing  it  out  handed  it  to  Marion. 

"Mr.  Eben  Hankins,  Elmcroft," — she  read — 
"Come  at  once.  Mr.  Wright  has  been  shot.  He's 
out  of  his  head,  but  he  keeps  calling  constant  for 
you. 

' '  STEWAKT.  ' ' 

"You  are  going?"  questioned  Marion. 

"Goin'?  'Course  I'm  goin'  but  I  thought  I'd 
come  an'  tell  you  first.  I  forgot  you'd  see  it  in 
the  paper." 

"Eben — "  Marion  laid  her  hand  upon  his  arm — 
"Mr.  John  is — my — my  oldest  friend — will  you 
promise  to  let  me  know  as  soon  as  you  possibly 
can  just  how  he  is  and  what  the  Doctor  says  ? ' ' 

"Sure,"  grunted  Eben.  Marion  knew  that 
Eben  was  making  a  violent  effort  to  keep  back 
emotions  which  were  new  to  him. 

"Eben!"     She  looked  at  him  with  pleading 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    355 

eyes:  "I  shall  watch  every  second  until  I  hear 
from  you:  the  papers  are  so  unreliable.    I  must 
know  how  he  is." 
"Ill  telegraph." 

"And  you  will  tell  me  the  truth?" 

"You  don't  s'pose  I'd  tell  you  a  lie,  do  you?" 

"You  might,  to  spare  me." 

Eben  shook  his  head : 

"I  don't  think  it  never  spares  no  one  to  lie  to 
'em  to-day  'bout  what  you've  got  to  tell  'em  to- 
morrow." 

"When  are  you  going?" 

"The  next  train — ten-thirty.  Now  don't  look 
so  down,  Mees  Marion."  Eben  was  talking  for 
his  own  comfort  as  well  as  for  Marion's — "Mees- 
ter  John '11  be  all  right.  He's  as  healthy  as  a  reg- 
istered bull. ' ' 

"He  will  be  better  when  you  are  with  him, 
Eben." 

Eben  assumed  an  unconscious  dignity. 

"Wai — I  ain't  no  valet,  but  thank  the  Lord  I've 
got  more  sense  than  that  Stewart  fellow  an'  when 
Meester  John  wants  me,  my  place  is  there:  it 
al'ays  was,  in  trouble." 

Marion  did  not  speak,  but  she  lifted  her  hand 
and  gave  a  little  caressing  stroke  to  the  stalwart 
shoulder  clad  in  its  rough  homespun.  Eben  re- 
membered that  stroke  for  many  days. 

Impatiently  Marion  lived  through  the  long 
hours  at  school  listening  to  recitations;  she  was 
glad  to  hasten  home  and  watch  from  the  window 


356    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

for  the  first  sight  of  the  messenger  boy  who  would 
bring  the  tidings,  on  the  speed  of  a  bicycle.  At 
last  she  saw  him  coming;  she  went  to  the  door 
herself,  tore  open  the  telegram  with  impetuous 
haste,  and  read  : 

"Miss  MARION  MEREDITH, 
"Boss  COTTAGE, 

1  1  ELM  CROFT. 

"He  ain't  so  sick  as  I  thought  he  was  but  he's 
sicker  than  Stewart  says  he  is.  The  doctors  don't 
say  nothin'. 

HANKINS." 


This  was  ambiguous  but  on  the  whole  it  was 
more  comforting  than  the  papers  had  been. 


THE  days  passed  slowly  to  weeks:  the  autumn 
turned  to  winter  and  the  heavy  snow  had  been 
falling  through  the  long  December  night:  it  had 
been  heaping  highways  and  hedges,  hill,  valley 
and  meadow-land  with  a  marvellous  beauty — 
white  and  sparkling:  and  still  the  elfin  flakes. were 
falling  in  a  dancing  swirl. 

Marion  was  out  before  breakfast  to  revel  in  the 
witchery  of  the  day,  to  penetrate  the  crystal  cham- 
bers of  the  frost  and  the  secret  places  of  the  snow. 
She  made  a  lovely  picture ;  her  white  woollen  dress 
touched  with  fleecy  fur,  the  little  white  woollen 
toque  on  her  shining  hair,  made  her  seem  a  very 
part  of  the  day :  old  Alice,  watching  her,  thought 
she  looked  like  a  snow-flake  herself. 

Marion  loved  the  snow — that  miracle  which  falls 
so  silently  covering  with  loveliness  the  blackest 
and  most  barren  places,  spreading  a  softening 
purity  over  the  roughest  scars  of  Nature. 

She  enjoyed  it  as  a  great  whole — an  enveloping, 
marvellous  mantle  glorifying  the  earth — and  she 
loved  it,  also,  in  exquisite  detail:  the  surprising 
wonder  of  each  tiny  particle  of  crystal — the  infi- 
nite variety  of  star-form  and  flower-form,  of  plant- 
form  and  life-form  in  every  flake  that  fell — made 
Marion  glow  with  pleasure. 

357 


358    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

Under  the  clouds  of  pearly  grey,  still  snow- 
freighted,  she  walked  with  lifted  head — to  catch 
the  snow-flakes.  They  nestled  upon  her  fore- 
head and  on  her  dark  eyelashes  but  when  they 
fell  upon  her  scarlet  lips  they  melted  from  the 
warmth  of  her  sweet  breath. 

As  Marion  played  with  the  falling  snow,  she 
was  listening.  It  came  at  last — the  postman's 
whistle!  As  he  came  down  the  road,  she  ran  to 
the  gate  to  meet  him:  the  cordial  greetings  and 
good-byes,  to  which  the  postman  looked  forward 
as  a  bright  spot  in  his  day,  were  cut  short:  she 
could  brook  no  delay  this  morning. 

When  he  was  gone  Marion  ran  to  a  rustic  seat 
beneath  the  spreading  branches  of  a  naked  oak 
and  with  eager  haste  and  fingers  numb  with  cold, 
she  went  through  the  pile  of  letters  until  she  came 
to  Eben's  cramped  handwriting.  » 

Eben's  letters  had  been  her  beacon  lights  since 
that  morning,  in  October,  when  she  had  watched 
him  go.  Marion  apprehended  what  it  had  cost  him 
to  write,  for  he  had  once  confided  to  her,  in  the 
happy  days  of  long  ago,  that  he  would  rather  'hoe 
a  field  of  potatoes  or  fight  a  plague  of  potato  bugs 
any  day'  than  write  a  letter:  but  it  was  late  in 
December  and  he  had  not  failed  to  keep  his  prom- 
ise :  until  this  last  week  letters  had  come  regularly : 
characteristic,  terse,  brusque,  with  no  unnecessary 
words,  devoid  of  all  softening  or  sentiment,  they 
had,  nevertheless,  kept  her  well-informed,  and 
given  her  the  exact  situation  with  gruff  directness 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    359 

as,  perhaps,  more  eloquent  communications  would 
not  have  done. 

Twice  Eben  had  run  down  to  the  Farm  for  a 
hurried  day  of  business:  then  Marion  had  gath- 
ered fuller  information  from  him  by  diplomatic 
and  clever  questioning. 

He  had  told  her  that  John's  splendid  constitu- 
tion had  rallied  at  once  from  the  physical  shock 
of  the  shooting,  after  the  ball  was  extracted :  but 
that  then  he  had  sunk  into  a  low  fever  bringing 
great  exhaustion,  which  the  Doctors  said  was  ow- 
ing to  the  state  he  had  been  in  at  the  time  he  was 
shot. 

"The  Doctors  say  it  was  overwork,"  Eben 
added  gruffly,  "but  they  don't  know  nothin':  it's 
over-idling  that's  what  'tis — a  man  gets  soft  if 
he's  idle — an'  ain't  fit  to  be  shot:  Meester  John 
ain't  done  no  work  since  he  left  the  farm,  so  he 
was  too  soft  for  shootin'." 

He  told  her  that  "Meester  John's  so  down  he 
don't  pay  no  'tention  to  nothin':  he's  just  like  a 
stranger."  Eben  grunted:  "He  ain't  well, 
Mees  Marion — he  ain't  well." 

"Oh,  no,  Eben! — "  Marion  answered  sorrow- 
fully: then  in  her  clever  way  she  led  Eben  on  to 
more  revealing. 

"He  lies  there  in  a  room  most  as  big  as  a  ten- 
acre  lot:  silver  an'  gold  an'  jim-cracks  're  just  as 
common  as  pebbles:  but  Monday  mornin'  I  was 
sittin'  there  a-lookin'  'round  an'  a-thinkin'  an* 
all  of  a  sudden  Meester  John's  hand  fumbled  out 


360    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

for  my  hand  an'  he  says,  very  faintlike,  says  he 
— 'Eben,'  says  he,  'I  like  my  room  at  the  farm 
better 'n  this,'  says  he.  Then  he  fell  asleep." 

Eben  gave  her  other  pictures. 

"The  nurse  don't  pretty  much,  an'  she's  as  up 
an'  down  as  a  pump-handle  but  she  knows  what 
she  knows  an'  she  does  what  she  does." 

On  the  subject  of  Stewart,  Eben  was  more 
expansive  than  was  his  habit:  "That  valet-fool 
ain't  no  good  nohow:  his  clothes  are  a  joke:  he 
can't  bend  his  head  'cause  his  collar's  so  tight: 
the  only  thing  that  he  can  do  is  to  walk  quiet :  he 
can  do  that :  I  wisht  I  could ;  my  boots  creak  like 
a  mo  win'  machine :  he  knows  I  can't  an'  he  throws 
it  up  to  me,  without  sayin'  a  word:  one  day  when 
Meester  John  was  worst  I  took  off  my  shoes  to 
go  into  his  room  in  my  stockin'  feet  so's  not  to 
make  a  noise:  Stewart  laughed  inside  fit  to  kill 
himself:  he  didn't  laugh  outside:  he  swallered  his 
laugh  behind  his  hands  but  he  shook  all  over. 
He  don't  know  what  to  do  for  Meester  John  no 
more'n  nothin':  I  told  him  some  things,  but  you 
*  might  as  well  play  jigs  to  a  milestone'  as  to  try 
to  learn  him.  He  looks  at  me  same  as  a  crow 
looks  at  a  scarecrow:  he  wishes  I'd  go  home,  but 
Meester  John  keeps  callin'  for  me,  so  there  I  be." 

Marion  had  counted  the  hours  since  Eben's  last 
letter:  there  had  not  been  one  for  five  days— 
what  did  it  portend? 

The  blood  left  her  face  and  lips — she  was  ashen- 
white  as  she  tore  open  the  envelope;  her  hand 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    361 

trembled    so    violently   that   tlie    crude   writing 
danced  before  her  eyes  —  as  she  read  : 

1  'DEAR  Miss  MARION, 

"i  take  my  pen  in  hand  to  tell  you  that  Mr. 
Johns  got  to  die  when  i  wrote  the  shot  had  heeled 
since  the  bulet  was  took  out  i  mean  the  place 
where  it  was  so  the  doctors  couldn't  make  it  out 
what  was  the  matter  with  all  them  bad  spells  yes- 
terday they  got  another  doctor  and  he  says  that 
Mr.  Johns  got  to  die  he  says  it  wont  be  long  i 
cant  write  no  more  now  but  i  promised  to  let  you 
know  the  news  so  now  you  know  if  you  got  any 
message  for  Mr.  John  just  write  it  down  good 
and  plain  and  ile  read  it  to  him 

"yours  respectful 

HANKINS." 


Marion  sat  motionless  in  the  cold:  she  looked 
as  silent  as  the  winter,  as  frozen  as  the  surface 
of  the  little  brook,  as  white  as  the  snow  which 
fell  around  her  ;  for  the  space  of  five  minutes  she 
sat  holding  the  breathless  silence:  then  she  rose. 

"Poor  Eben,"  she  said,  and  shuddered.  She 
walked  quickly  to  the  cottage  :  the  cheeks  that  had 
been  as  white  as  the  snow  flushed  suddenly  with 
warm  colour:  her  feet  seemed  to  gain  wings  as 
she  walked. 

"Alice  —  Alice  V  she  called.  "  Quick—  please  ! 
Come  and  help  me  !  We  must  make  haste—  I  am 
going  to  New  York  —  you  are  to  go  with  me  -  " 


362    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"0,  Miss  Marion—"  Alice  protested,  "it's 
snowing — you'll " 

"Hurry,  Alice."  Marion's  voice  was  sharp. 
"I  wish  to  catch  the  ten-thirty  train:  there's  not 
a  moment  to  lose — hurry  I" 


CHAPTER  XXXH 

IT  was  four  o'clock  when  the  train  steamed  into 
New  York  and  Marion  found  herself  in  the  midst 
of  a  confusing  turmoil — pushed  by  a  jostling 
crowd,  the  prey  of  frantically  shouting  chauffeurs 
and  deafened  by  many  strange  confusing  sounds. 

She  went  with  Alice  to  a  quiet  hotel  and  made 
her  preparations ;  in  half  an  hour,  fresh  and  trim 
without  soil  or  stain  of  travel,  she  was  ringing  the 
door-bell  of  the  old  Remington  house. 

This  young  woman  had  not  learned  her  gospel 
in  Vanity  Fair  nor  found  her  ethics  in  Philistia: 
she  felt  it  was  the  right  thing  to  do  this  daring 
deed  and,  therefore,  she  did  it ;  although  she  knew 
that  John's  world  would  shrug  questioning 
shoulders,  and  that  her  own  world  would  shake 
disapproving  heads  at  her  audacity  and  her  de- 
parture from  proper  maidenly  circumspection, 
she  cared  not  one  straw:  but,  all  the  same,  when 
she  stood  upon  the  steps  of  John's  house,  embar- 
rassment and  nervous  fright  shook  her  like  an 
ague;  she  felt  that  she  could  not  speak,  that  it 
would  be  impossible  to  make  her  dry  lips  utter  a 
sound. 

By  the  time  the  great  bronze  door  was  opened, 
however,  she  had  found  her  calm,  her  poise,  and 
her  voice. 

363 


"I  wish  to  see  Mr.  "Wright's  head  nurse,"  she 
said. 

There  was  an  air  of  authority  about  her  which 
the  footman  could  not  disregard. 

"Yes,  Miss.'*  And  he  opened  the  door  wide^ 
for  her  to  enter.  "Who  shall  I  say,  Miss,  wishes 
to  see  her,  Miss?" 

Marion  handed  the  man  her  card :  upon  it  she 
had  written — "May  I  see  you  at  once?  It  is  im- 
portant. I  will  detain  you  but  a  moment. ' ' 

The  man  drew  aside  the  heavy  curtains  and 
Marion  stepped  into  the  splendid  drawing-room. 
The  room  gave  her  a  vivid  shock :  she  felt  in  every 
corner  of  it  the  ghost  of  the  brilliant  life  that  had 
been  and  the  presence  of  the  awful  hush  that  was. 
With  quick  intuition,  she  felt  the  throb  and  heard 
the  imagined  echoes  of  gay  scenes :  with  her  clair- 
voyant sense — which  always  went  at  once  to  the 
central  point — she  walked  straight  to  "The  New 
Day" — the  picture  that  John  loved.  She  saw  the 
early  light  of  coming  day,  the  morning  star,  the 
pink-petalled  apple  blossoms — and  she  under- 
stood ! 

That  was  cruel  of  Fate — it  almost  broke  her 
down.  She  clinched  her  hands  hard  and  struggled 
with  a  threatening  tide :  what  would  happen  if  the 
nurse,  when  she  came,  should  find  a  noisy  weeping 
woman  in  this  silent  house  of  grief? 

"Miss  Meredith,  you  desire  to  speak  with  me? 
I  beg  that  you  will  make  haste:  I  have  no  time 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    365 

to  spare:  I  should  not  have  come  down  but  you 
wrote  that  it  was  something  important." 

The  cool  voice  was  like  a  dam  to  the  rising  tide : 
the  moment  had  come :  Marion  met  it :  she  faced 
the  trim  competent  woman,  as  cool  in  manner  as 
the  nurse's  institutional  self. 

"Is  Mr.  Wright  very  ill!"  she  asked  quietly. 

"Yes." 

The  single  syllable  was  given  with  the  clear  de- 
cision of  a  knell. 

"Is  there  no  hope?" 

"None  whatever."  The  nurse's  voice  was  pro- 
fessional. 

"May  I  see  him  for  five  minutes!" 

The  nurse  looked  surprised : 

"That  is  quite  impossible,  Miss  Meredith." 

"Oh,  no!" 

There  was  both  persuasion  and  determination  in 
the  two  syllables :  "I  must  see  him :  I  have  a  mes- 
sage for  him." 

"I  am  sorry,  but  the  Doctor's  orders  are  ex- 
plicit." 

Marion  laid  her  hand  upon  the  nurse 's  arm : 

"I  know — for  I  have  nursed  my  father — that 
sometimes  disobedience  is  the  highest  obedience: 
Mr.  Wright  must — die " 

Marion  caught  her  breath — "There  is  some- 
thing I  must  say  to  him  before  that  hour !  It  will 
not  hurt  him,  I  am  sure:  it  may — it  may — help 
him.  Please  let  me  see  him — for  five  minutes." 

The  nurse  looked  at  Marion:  she  was  trained 


366    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

to  read  character  and  to  draw  conclusions  quickly : 
something  surged  above  the  professional — some- 
thing warm  and  living  showed  for  a  moment :  she 
was  a  woman  after  all  beneath  the  institutionalism 
which  she  wore  like  her  uniform. 

"Come,"  she  said,  and  led  the  way. 

When  they  reached  the  ante-room  the  nurse 
turned : 

"Wait  here,  Miss  Meredith.  I  will  prepare  Mr. 
Wright :  he  is  very  weak. ' ' 

When  the  nurse  returned  Marion  had  removed 
her  hat  and  gloves.  The  nurse,  as  a  professional, 
noted  this  wise  act  with  approval:  as  a  woman, 
she  was  charmed  with  the  fragile  beauty  which 
was  more  pronounced  when  the  shining  crown, 
Which  had  been  hidden  by  hat  and  veil,  was  un- 
covered. 

"Kemember,  Miss  Meredith,  there  must  be  no 
excitement." 

"Certainly  not,"  said  Marion,  quietly. 

When  Marion  entered  John's  bedroom,  her 
heart  stood  still  as  she  saw  the  gaunt  emaciated 
man  upon  the  bed,  watching  the  door  with  eager 
cavernous  eyes:  she  steadied  herself  and  spoke 
with  composure: 

"John." 

He  looked  at  her  in  a  dazed  way. 

"Are  you  a  dream?"  he  said  so  low  she  could 
scarcely  hear  him.  She  went  to  the  bedside. 

"I  am  Marion,  John:  I  am  come  to  ask  you  to 
forgive  me — will  you  forgive  me?" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    367 

His  startled  eyes  searched  her  face. 

"'Forgive  you?'  he  faltered:  "Have  you 
come  to  mock  me,  Marion  I" 

"I  am  come  to  beg  your  forgiveness:  I  did  you 
a  very  great  wrong — I  lied  to  you!" 

"  'You  lied?'  His  feeble  voice  ran  the  gamut 
of  astonishment  and  of  pleading  to  have  the  mean- 
ing made  plainer. 

"I  told  you — I  told  you — that  I  hated  you ! — and 
that  then  I  forgot :  it  was  a  lie,  John — a  terrible 
lie!  I  never  hated  you — I  never  forgot — I  tried 
to — but  I  could  not.  When  your  letter  came — I 
knew  you  loved  me — and  oh,  I  was  glad — glad — 
but  I  sent  you  no  word:  it  was  cruel — wicked — 
I  could  not  write — my  pride  was  too  strong.  But 
I  come  now  to  tell  you  the  truth :  I  have  always 
loved  you — I  never  stopped  loving  you — not  for 
a  single  second:  I  never  forgot — not  for  a  single 
second."  She  slipped  to  her  knees  and  took  his 
outreaching  hand.  "I  love  you — John — Ah,  I 
love  you — I  love  you." 

Transforming  light  broke  over  John's  sunken 
face :  he  closed  his  eyes  and  seemed  to  be  trying 
to  hold  unconsciousness  at  bay — Marion  waited; 
at  last  he  opened  his  eyes  eloquent  with  unspoken 
response  and  whispered : 

"I  love  you,  Marion!" 

Those  four  words — uttered  solemnly  in  his  al- 
tered ghostly  voice — had  the  majestic  dignity  of 
Gregorian  music.  After  an  instant  he  added  so 
low  that  she  had  to  bend  down  to  hear : 


368    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

"Can  you  forgive  me,  Marion!"  She  put  her 
finger  on  his  lips  with  an  infinitely  caressing  ten- 
derness : 

"Ah!  My  Love!  it  was  all  the  same — we  each 
sinned  against  the  highest — we  each  denied  love: 
yon  denied  it  for  power — I  denied  it  for  pride- 
it  was  the  same  sin. ' ' 

There  was  a  moment  of  wordless  communion, 
as  she  knelt  with  his  hand  in  hers :  then  her  heart 
cried  out: 

"0  John,  how  we  have  suffered! — but  now  we 
knowl" 

"  'Now  we  know '  And — now — it  is — too 

late!" 

The  note  of  despair  in  John's  voice  was  unen- 
durable. Marion  put  her  free  hand  upon  his  fore- 
head: 

"John,  listen! — there  is  no  such  word  as  too 
late!"  He  looked  at  her  questioningly — she  bent 
yet  a  little  nearer  to  him :  *  *  Love  is  ours  for  ever.  ' ' 

"  'For  ever?' — what  proof  have  you?"  he  whis- 
pered eagerly,  wistfully,  as  one  seeking  informa- 
tion from  a  trusted  guide  before  going  out  upon  a 
dark  and  unknown  road. 

Gathering  cosmic  help  from  the  source  and 
centre  of  all  help,  Marion  was  enabled  to  smile 
her  own  beautiful,  tender  smile  as  she  looked  down 
on  him: 

"I  have  no  proof — one  can  only  prove  material 
things — but  I  know." 

"You  know,  Marion?" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    369 

"Yes,  my  Love.  I  cannot  explain  to  you  how 
I  know  it — but  I  KNOW.  There  is  nothing  I  am  so 
sure  of  as  eternity — and  the  eternity  of  love." 

Then  Marion  kissed  him  on  the  lips :  John  re- 
ceived the  kiss  as  a  man  might  receive  a  sacra- 
ment :  after  that  he  lay  quite  still :  he  was  hover- 
ing between  consciousness  and  unconsciousness. 

Marion  breathed  a  wordless  benediction  over 
him — and  left  the  room. 

When  John  opened  his  eyes,  an  hour  later,  the 
nurse  was  standing  by  his  side : 

"I  am  better,  Miss  Allen,"  he  whispered. 

"Good!"  said  Miss  Allen,  as  she  gave  him  his 
medicine. 

The  Doctors  came,  and  were  surprised  to  see  a 
marked  change  in  John — a  lower  temperature  and 
a  more  even  pulse;  a  quiet  had  followed  the  ex- 
cessive restlessness  which  had  been  so  difficult  to 
control  during  the  past  month. 

"Watch  him  closely,  Miss  Allen;  we  will  be  in 
again  at  nine:  there  is  a  change  that  surprises 
us:  that  last  medicine  is  doing  excellent  work — 
excellent  work,  Miss  Allen:  you  might  increase 
the  dose  to  two  minims." 

And  the  clever  Doctor  in  charge  looked  self- 
congratulatory. 

"Very  good,  Sir,"  Miss  Allen  said  aloud,  but 
to  herself  she  said,  "The  first  thing  doctors  should 
learn  to  know  is  that  there  are  many  things  they 
do  not  know." 


CHAPTER  XXXIH 

NOTWITHSTANDING  his  apparent  rally,  the  night 
was  a  desperate  struggle  for  John:  he  alternated 
between  intense  pain  and  extreme  exhaustion— 
between  semi-consciousness  and  unconsciousness. 

The  Doctors,  however,  on  their  morning  visit, 
were  encouraged  to  find  that  the  heart-action  re- 
tained the  improvement  of  the  night  before — a 
hopeful  sign. 

John  had  at  last  fallen  asleep ;  the  nurse  on  duty 
had  taken  her  seat  of  vigil  a  little  away  from  the 
bed  that  she  might  leave  more  air  for  his  breath- 
ing :  from  time  to  time  she  bent  over  John,  counted 
his  respiration  and  lightly  touched  his  pulse :  she 
was  rejoiced  to  note  that  his  sleep  was  more  quiet 
and  his  breathing  more  regular. 

About  ten  o'clock  John  opened  his  eyes:  he 
was  awake  and  fully  conscious:  but  he  made  no 
move,  no  sign,  for  he  feared  that  the  nurse  would 
interrupt  the  surprising  good  that  had  come  to 
him  with  his  awakening:  he  did  not  even  ask  for 
water,  for  which  his  fever-parched  throat  thirsted, 
lest  he  should  lose  that  good. 

Slowly  the  ghastly  grey  veil  had  begun  to  lift 
— that  veil  which  had  hung  so  long  between  him- 

370 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    371 

self  and  the  outer  world,  making  everything 
shadowy  and  dim :  the  room  defined  itself,  the  fur- 
niture took  form,  articles  shaped  themselves  into 
definite  objects:  and — what  was  best  of  all — his 
mind  was  entirely  clear :  he  was  more  acutely  con- 
scious than  he  had  been  since  the  hour  of  the 
shooting :  since  that  hour  he  had  been  for  the  most 
part  delirious,  or  in  a  torpor :  even  when  he  was- 
conscious,  everything  had  been  hazy  t  and  obscure 
to  him :  yesterday,  when  Marion  was  there,  acute 
consciousness  had  flamed  bright  for  a  few  mo- 
ments, then  it  had  been  lost  in  ,the  unspeakable 
suffering  of  the  night ;  but  now  it  had  come  again, 
complete  and  vivid — he  could  think  straight,  he 
could  remember,  he  could  reason,  as  he  had  not 
thought,  remembered  nor  reasoned  for  six  weeks. 
He  looked  at  the  room:  elegance,  luxury  and 
beauty  were  everywhere:  when  he  had  first  pos- 
sessed all  these  superb  things  they  had  excited 
and  delighted  him :  later  they  had  maddened  and 
galled  him:  now  he  was  neither  excited  nor  mad- 
dened by  them:  he  was  neither  delighted  nor 
galled  by  them:  they  had  become  utterly  trifling 
and  unimportant. 

John  is  aware  that  his  Hour  has  come! — that 
the  cord  is  broken — that  the  brave  fight  which  the 
Doctors  are  making  is  in  vain:  and  he  knows — 
with  that  solemn  prescience,  which  is  the  dread 
Herald  of  approaching  death — that  the  grim  mys- 
tery is  not  far  off. 


372    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

His  brain  works  with  swift  action.  His  life  is 
ended — and  that  life  has  been  a  failure! 

The  six  long  weeks  of  physical  pain  and  mental 
confusion  fall  away:  clearly  he  re-lives  that  last 
evening  before  he  was  shot :  he  recalls  vividly  the 
revelation  that  had  come  to  him  that  night — the 
rush  of  great  regret  for  his  failure — for  his  cow- 
ardly weakness — his  surrender  to  pain :  he  recalls 
his  resolution  to  redeem,  as  far  as  possible,  that 
failure — his  determination  to  make  of  his  charac- 
ter something  worthy  to  pass  on  to  posterity  as 
his  testamentary  bequest.  He  remembers  the 
brave  plans  and  the  new  thoughts  that  had  been 
thronging  through  his  mind  when  the  pistol  ball 
entered  his  breast  and  stopped  his  brain — plans 
to  atone  for  his  wasted  opportunities,  thoughts  of 
the  larger  life  he  had  determined  to  live,  the 
things  he  had  determined  to  try  to  do  in  spite  of 
the  material  handicap,  the  victory  he  had  resolved 
to  win  over  his  moral  weakness  in  spite  of  pain. 

And  now — God  help  him — IT  is  TOO  LATE  !  All  is 
over!  Irrevocable  Death  is  near!  He  is  going 
out  into  Silence — into  Nothingness. 

A  horror  of  great  darkness  seizes  him,  a  bitter 
anguish  shakes  his  frame,  the  cold  sweat  breaks 
out  in  great  beads  upon  his  forehead.  In  the  hor- 
ror of  the  darkness  the  evil  face  of  the  man  who 
shot  him  takes  shape:  in  the  shadows  he  stands, 
looking  at  John  with  vindictive  eyes  and  hissing 
once  again  the  words  that  he  had  hissed  at  him 
that  fatal  day — "Men  like  us  hate  men  like  you!" 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    373 

Swift  to  John's  mind  comes  the  realisation  of 
another  failure. 

Even  on  that  evening  before  he  was  shot — when 
he  had  determined  to  arise  from  his  "  slough  of 
despond, ' '  and  be  a  conqueror  over  pain — he  had 
been  but  an  egotist :  he  had  thought  only  of  him- 
self— of  winning  his  own  peace,  of  fulfilling  his 
own  manhood,  of  finding  the  star  of  his  own  des- 
tiny :  he  had  not  thought  of  the  struggling,  starv- 
ing mass  of  men,  women  and  children,  like  the 
wretched  being  who  had  shot  him.  The  world  is 
crowded,  choked  with  desperate  derelicts  like  that 
man — and  what  had  he  done  for  them,  or  planned 
to  do  for  them? — Oh,  yes!  money! — he  had  given 
freely  of  his  infamous  surplus — but  what  had  he 
done  to  change  their  hatred? — NOTHING! 

Now  in  the  awful  hour  of  Death  HATE  encircles 
him:  perhaps  the  women  hate  him — and  the  little 
children:  0  God!  the  little  children! 

Mistakes — Mistakes — Mistakes ! — his  life  has 
been  nothing  but  Mistakes !  He,  who  had  started 
with  high  resolve  and  ardent  determination  to 
make  of  life  a  great  achievement,  has  made  of  it 
only  a  Tragedy  of  Errors. 

If  he  could  but  live  a  little  while ! — if  he  might 
have  but  one  more  year,  in  which  to  square  his 
accounts  with  posterity,  to  pay  the  debt  he  owes 
his  own  soul,  to  make  at  least  one  worthy  entry  on 
life's  page — to  leave  behind  him  as  he  goes  out! 

Just  one  little  year !  He  would  atone — he  would 
make  good — he  would  work  so  hard — to  rise — to 


374    THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET 

win  victory  over  self! — but  there  is  no  time — no 
time ! — IT  is  TOO  LA.TE  ! 

"Too  late?" — the  shadowy  vision  of  Marion 
bends  over  him,  love  in  her  eyes,  tenderness  in 
every  line  of  her :  she  holds,  as  love  ever  holds,  a 
shining  lamp  unto  the  feet  that  are  going  down 
into  the  dark  cold  Valley:  the  echo  of  her  words 
rings  out — "There  is  no  such  word  as  too  late!" 
"There  is  nothing  I  am  so  sure  of  as  Eter- 
nity !  * '  ETERNITY  t  Ah !  he  does  not  need  another 
year  of  Time  if  there  be  ETERNITY  ! 

Again  the  mortal  veil  of  torpor  fell — and  all 
was  blank.  After  a  few  moments  it  lifted  once 
again, — and  John  became  aware  that  the  nurse 
was  giving  him  some  tiny  particles  of  ice:  they 
brought  cooling  and  comfort:  he  closed  his  eyes 
that  she  might  leave  him  to  himself:  his  mind 
took  up  again  with  vivid  clearness  the  thoughts 
which  were  broken  off  when  the  veil  fell. 

Mistakes — yes,  his  life  has  been  nothing  but 
Mistakes — and  yet — and  yet — he  has  learned!  0 
God,  he  has  learned! — it  may  be  he  has  learned 
most  by  his  very  Mistakes — by  his  very  sins ! 

Mortality  is  at  an  end — Time  is  ebbing  fast— 
the  "Now"  of  life  is  over — but  if  there  be  another 
chance — IP  THERE  BE  ! — then  all  that  he  has  learned 
from  his  Mistakes  will  be  the  foundation  that  will 
advantage  him!  —  Perhaps  —  perhaps  —  who 
knows  ? 

He  turns  his  head  upon  the  pillow — it  is  almost 


THE  INVISIBLE  BALANCE  SHEET    375 

as  though  some  one  had  spoken  in  the  room,  so 
distinctly  do  the  familiar  lines  of  Browning  ring 
verbally  through  his  clairvoyantly  clear  brain — 

" What's  time!    Leave  Now  for  dogs  and  apes! 
Man  has  Forever!" 

Suddenly  it  seems  to  John  that  an  ineffable 
Light  dawns  in  the  darkness  and  slowly  fills  the 
place  with  splendour:  he  tries  to  raise  himself  as 
though  to  meet  a  mighty  Presence. 

A  sense  of  powerful  expansion  possesses  him— 
his,  feeble  and  emaciated  body  is  suffused  by  a 
warm,  swift-flowing  current,  his  paralysed  nerves 
tingle,  his  dulled  senses  thrill,  a  tide  of  joy — 
exultant  joy  throbs  through  him. 

"Marion,"  he  whispers  hoarsely,  "Marion,  you 
are  right!  /  know  it  now!  MAN  HAS  FOKEVEB!" 

The  nurse  hastened  to  his  side : 
"Do  you  want  anything,  Mr.  Wright? — are  you 
in  paint" 

But  John  Remington  Wright  had  passed  beyond 
all  human  want — beyond  all  human  pain :  and  on 
his  face  there  was  a  strange  tranquillity,  a  majes- 
tic peace. 

THE  END 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

Los  Angeles 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


•D  LD-UM. 

21973 


MAR  7    1973* 


Form  L9-Series  444 


